Kenny's POV:

For the fifty-thousandth time, I was expecting to wake up at Heaven's gate
or even in the firey pits of Hell. I have been there before as well. Instead, I woke up to my usual everyday surroundings. Four beat up walls decked out in posters of scantily clad babes as I lay here in a twin bed with ratty old blankets. This place was better known as my bedroom. Although the babes were always pleasant to wake up to, the same thought always burned through my brain. Fuck. It happened again.

With me, it's always the same shit. I somehow die of unnatural causes, people are either devastated or indifferent, then for some unknown reason I'm alive the next day
and nobody remembers a thing! Most people would find the ability to come back to life awesome. That kind of ignorance almost makes me laugh. For me, it's a curse. Not just a curse, it's downright fucking annoying!

For as long as I can remember, death has overshadowed me as if my life were a Final Destination movie, and my demises would be just as gruesome too. There had been one time where I really did die of natural causes. I had gotten sick to the point where I had to be hospitalized only to slowly fade away from my deathbed. I don't remember what happened after. All I remember was I didn't wake up in my own bed. There was only darkness. It had been the only time when I thought I wouldn't come back. That this time, it was final. It felt like many years had passed when I was eventually brought back
to live my normal life again. Well, maybe it's not so normal because every now and then, I still die.

Like the other day for example. I died of syphilis that I had apparently caught from my girlfriend Tammy Warner, and I'm going to be totally honest with you on this one. It was the best damn death I've ever experienced! STD's or not, that girl really could give an awesome B.J. and do you know what? I'd let her do it all over again. If any day was going to be my last day, why not spend it having as much fun as possible? It was worth it. I really had no idea what the fuck was going on with this whole resurrection crap but whatever it was, hopefully I'd be able to figure out the meaning behind it once and for all. For now, it was time to start another day with the most amazing girl in the universe.

Climbing out of bed, I headed straight for my closet. I slipped into my orange parka, pulling the hood over my shaggy blonde hair as I fastened the strings tightly around my face. My family was too poor to afford sufficient heating for the house so I was always cold.
After I finished getting ready, I breezed out the door past my parents who were having yet another drunken argument about bills. They didn't even say a word to me. Typical. Even my own parents don't seem to remember the things that happen to me.

I raced up to Tammy's front door with an excited bounce in my step. With a brown gloved hand, I knocked a few times, and me and the growing stiff in my pants waited eagerly.
The door opened not even half way, and Tammy poked her head through. A strange deer-in-the-headlights expression appeared on her face as soon as she saw me. "Ken!" she gasped. "W-what are you doing here? I thought you were going out of town with your friends today." I cocked an eyebrow at her as she quickly wiped a hand across her mouth. "Um no?" I said, confused. "I actually wanted to hang out with you before the weekend's over, maybe go to T.G.I Friday's?" "Uhhh..." she glanced back over her shoulder before turning to me again. "Yeah, now is really not a good time Ken."

I tried to look around her to see inside but she blocked my view. "Is someone else in there with you?" I demanded. "No." she said quickly. Before she could make any more excuses, I grabbed the door and swung it open. Low and behold, Clyde Donovan was standing in her living room with his pants down. He greeted my enraged glare with a nervous smile. "Uh hey. What's up Kenny?" "My foot is what's going to be what's up your ass if you don't get the fuck out of here now!" I warned. Clyde wasted no time pulling his pants back on and bustling out the door past Tammy and me. I turned to her, feeling hopeless and betrayed.
"Why?" I asked. "Why did you have to do this Tam?" She shook her head. "I just couldn't control these urges, Ken. I was at a party last night and I started dancing with Clyde and before I knew it...I just couldn't help myself."

"You could have come to me." I argued. "You were gone for a day." "I was dead!" She stared at me as I shouted it. I was hoping she would be sympathetic after hearing that but all she said after that was, "How could that be? You're standing right here." I breathed one final sigh of frustration and with that, I turned away and left.

That afternoon, I had met up with my friends Stan and Kyle and my less of a friend Eric Cartman on the basketball court. They all gave their usual "Hey Kenny" greeting as they saw me approach them, the telltale sign they didn't recall me dying. However, they could tell something was wrong by the state of glumness I was in.
Reluctantly, I explained what had happened. They paused for a minute, pretending to be shocked when in reality they probably weren't. "Wow," Kyle said. "That really sucks dude."
As always, Cartman was the first to be blunt. "Well, hate to say it Ken but we tried to tell you that your girlfriend was a notorious whore. Looks like I was right...again." I glowered at him standing there in all his smug glory. My eyes focused on the snow covered ground as I heaved a miserable sigh.
"I thought...that she would be good in bed...with all the experience she's had? I thought that she would only be a whore...for me."

"I think you're misunderstanding what the definition of a whore actually means Kenny."
Kyle said, placing a green gloved hand on my shoulder. "That means that she does things with not just you, but with other guys as well." I sighed again. "We should try to cheer him up," Stan offered.
"Help him find a new girlfriend. We can take him to Raisins." I rolled my eyes. "Oh please. Taking you there after you and Wendy broke up didn't do jack shit for you. What makes you so sure that's going to help me any?" "Well, we should try it," said Stan. "You're better at meeting girls than the rest of us."
"Speak for yourself!" Cartman huffed. "I'm the best at getting chicks than any of you!"

"No you're not fatass!" Kyle argued. "When was the last time you actually even had a girlfriend?"
Before Cartman could answer with another verbal attack, Stan stepped in. "Knock it off, you guys.
Kenny's depressed and it's up to us to help him feel better. Let's go."

We had only been at Raisins for ten minutes and I already wanted to leave. After we had ordered our food, a girl with long feathered layers of brown hair came over to talk to me. Ferrari was her name, I think. I paid very little attention to what she was saying because like all the other girls who worked here, she really couldn't care less about me. Just like Tammy couldn't care less about me.
In reality, they didn't have any genuine interest in me or any of the other guys here. They were just doing their job.

After the others dug into their food and Ferrari scampered off to entertain a group of guys at another table. "Are you gonna eat your zingy tingy wings?" Cartman asked eagerly. "If you're just gonna sit there picking at it?" "Help yourself." I said, pushing the plate of greasy chicken towards him.
"Damn Ken. Are you sure you wanna pass up such a good meal when all you eat are frozen waffles and canned food all the time?" "Can we go please?" I asked Stan and Kyle. "You don't want to stay longer?" asked Kyle. "That Ferrari girl really seemed to be into you. Why don't you get her number?"
"Pass. I just want to go home already."

"Wait," Stan protested. "I have another idea."

"Woah!" Cartman said, later that night inside the local porn shop. "Check out this chick Kenny! She has three boobs!" He shoved the magazine in my face and I smacked it away. "I don't care dude!"
He pulled back the magazine as he continued to study the picture in awe. "Do you think she was born with three boobs or she got an extra boob attached in the middle because she thought it would look kewl?" "I don't get it Kenny," Kyle said, surprised. "You used to love this place. What changed?"
"Tammy, obviously." I grumbled. "Come on. You can't wallow in self pity forever. You'll have to get over it eventually."

"He just needs time," said Stan. "The wounds may still be fresh right now but after a while, things will turn around. Alright Kenny?" I shrugged. "Sure, whatever. I'm going home now guys. I think I've had enough 'cheering up' for one night." With that, I walked out of the store, my friends staring after me as I sauntered down the dim lit street. Stopping half way, I lifted my head to the star speckled sky and breathed a long heavy sigh. My normal life was cursed. My love life might as well be too.