With weeks passing, I hadn't heard from that man again. He'd gone off with the information I gave him, and didn't say a single word. I wanted them to find her, but I wanted them to let me know. That creature wasn't just their problem, it was my problem too. I wanted to get my revenge. Revenge. It's always revenge with you. Get a grip, Booker, there's no regaining anything.

I sighed, drumming my fingers on the dark wood of the desk. It was another long day. A part of me hoped that man would stop by again. I needed answers. He stayed here for weeks until I talked, and now he wasn't even anywhere near me. It seemed too complicated. "I gotta get a fucking hobby," I grumbled to myself. The quietness of the small office was enough to drive anyone mad.

"What is today anyway?"

I'd lost track of the days. Time seemed ridiculous now. There wasn't a point of keeping track of days when I just sat at a desk for most of it. Maybe you should get a date. That'd relax you. I chuckled, shaking my head. The idea has crossed my mind several times. But that was just a waste of money. Not if you used it on Rayna. Again, I chuckled faintly. Even though the voice in my head was sometimes right, it wasn't about her. I would never risk something like that.

Come on, Booker, you know she likes you.

Rolling my eyes, I leaned back in my chair. I did know that. I could see it in the way she acted. It grew more with each passing day. That's why I tried to keep my distance. You're scared to hurt her? I nodded to myself, sighing deeply. It was stupid. I thought I decided I didn't have a heart. If that were true, then I wouldn't care what happens to her. But I do care. I care more than I wanted to admit. Rayna was a sweet girl. She didn't deserve the things that were given to her.

You do care about her! Well, isn't that sweet.

That damn voice. Everything I said... it had something humorous to say. I didn't know what it meant, but I wanted it to go away. All it did was question whether I was insane or normal. I laughed to myself. "Normal." The one word that I wasn't. Being normal meant that you were exactly like the others. You were a living, breathing, caring person. You're at least the subject of attention, or you're the definition of what other people think is normal.

All I am is another version of you. I'm just the little voice that knows everything.

Cursing under my breath, I shoved everything to the side. Resting my head on the desk, I continued to sigh. "I should just retire early," I grumbled. The voice in my head continued to laugh. Retirement is for old people. I am old. At least, I feel like that. You're just depressed. Have some fun, Booker! This was starting to get on my nerves. This voice was just another reason to hate myself. Another reason to not give a shit. More ways for me to cut the act of being normal.

You're not normal. Stop pretending like you're like all those people. You're better, stronger, and ruthless. It's fun to be the bad guy. Don't you remember, Booker? How it feels to be the brute man with no feelings. No empathy. Don't you wish to feel like that again?

"Shut up. God damnit." I rubbed my throbbing head, trying to ignore the voice. All it was doing was trying to wear me down. Seems pretty easy now a days. When did I become so damn fragile? Standing up from my desk, I decided to go out for a drink. I hadn't been out drinking in almost two years. "So much for being clean," I mumbled to myself as I slammed the door behind me.

The bartender was still working there. It had been almost two decades. When I walked in, I saw the familiar grin, but with an older face behind it. "Well, well.. If it isn't Booker DeWitt. You've gotten old," He teased. I chuckled, sitting down at the bar. "So have you." He nodded, smirking widely. He handed me my usual. I looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. "You remember after all these years?" The bartender chuckled again.

"I never forget a regular."

I chuckled, watching him lean closer. His face turned serious, and I knew what he was going to say before he even spoke. "I heard about... what happened," He said, "I'm really sorry about that. Took me several years to be able to say that." I nodded, clenching my jaw. I didn't come here to hear all this. He saw my expression changed, and slowly moved away. He cleared his throat, smiling a bit. "How's your job goin'?" He asked.

"Slow."

"You still working for..."

I shook my head. "Got a private license. Not interested in their baggage," I mumbled. He nodded again, chuckling softly. "I'd never work for 'em. Too much strain." My old job wasn't going anywhere. It was fun while it lasted, but wasn't anything I could work with. "You know, my brother worked for them a long time ago. He was on a job, and was beaten to a pulp. After that, he couldn't even speak about what happened," He said. I nodded, sipping my drink.

"Eh, but my brother's a weak little thing anyway. Unlike you, who can snap someone's neck with a flick of your wrist."

I laughed, shrugging my shoulders. Everyone is quick to judge my strength. I'm not a super human, but you have a little muscle and every sees you that way. The bartender handed me drink after drink. The alcohol relaxed me. It brought back my love for the taste. Better be careful. You don't want to become addicted again. Rolling my eyes, I chatted with the bartender for a while longer. "So what brings you here anyway?" He asked.

I shrugged, not really sure why I came. I needed to get away for a while. "To be honest, I just want to drink and forget." The bartender chuckled, smirking a bit. "That's why everyone comes here," He said. I nodded, looking at the rest of the men that were there. Most of them were younger than I was, with glasses so high and smirks on their faces. The older men stayed close to the bar, ignoring them. It was always fun to watch the young one's try to gamble.

You could show them a thing or two about that, can't you?

I tried to ignore the voice. The harder I tried, the more it nagged at me. Seeing as it wasn't going away, I decided to let it in. It was probably just another part of me trying to get out. But that was the part of me I wanted to forget. You can't forget, Booker. You can only try to suppress it. But I am who you really are. Embrace me. I ain't going anywhere. The voice started to sound more like me with each passing moment. It was like listening to a record. The more I kept it away, the more it would pull me back in. It was like a hypnotic sound, but it took a lot to get me discouraged.

The bartender gave me my last drink, and I let out another sigh. "I didn't want to be here this long," I mumbled to myself. The man grinned, shaking his grey hair. "Ah, but seeing you was fun. Come back?" I shrugged, smirking up at him. "You sure you can handle me back?" I asked. The man nodded, winking. "You did keep business good." I laughed, shrugging my shoulders. The bartender pushed the money I tried to pass to him away. "This one's on me," He said with a gentle smile. I chuckled, smirking over at him.

"Thanks."

"Just stay out of trouble, DeWitt."

Nodding, I waved to him and left quickly. The late night drinkers were starting to arrive, and I didn't want to be caught in that. I was once a part of them, but now I held back. After tonight, I was clean for about ten years. But having those memories brought back my urge to drink. My depression always brings it back. When something's on my mind, it's the only thing that soothes me. I walked back to my office, unlocking the door.

"I thought you'd never come back!"

I turned on the lights, raising an eyebrow. "Rayna?" I asked. The young girl sat on my desk, smiling softly. She jumped down, walking over to me. "I got off not that long ago, and came to see you." I continued to stare down at her with confusion. "How did you get in?" She laughed, holding up the spare key. "You gave me a key, remember? I found you drunk on the floor, and you gave it to me for emergencies?" I laughed, nodding my head.

"Yeah.. I remember now."

She grinned, leaning up to kiss my cheek. She grabbed my arm, pulling me over to the desk. "Where have you been?" She asked, sitting back down on it. I shrugged, sitting down on the chair. "I was at the bar." She nodded, continuing to grin. "You're back to drinking again?"

"It was just one day. You're actin' like I ain't a grown man."

"You're not. You're a big baby."

I rolled my eyes. Rayna giggled, letting her legs dangle over the side of the desk. She was beautiful tonight. Not that she wasn't beautiful every day, but something was different about her today. She'd just gotten off work, so she had a very exposing dress on. But her face was glowing, and she had such a beautiful smile. It's the alcohol talking. You better watch it. She's going to look delicious very soon. I rolled my eyes, ignoring the voice.

"Booker, can I ask you something?"

She leaned closer, fixing her skirt. I raised an eyebrow. "What?" She kicked her legs, biting her bottom lip. The air got faint and quiet. I could hear her soft breathing. "I… I've been thinking. You and I have been friends for a while, and I'm grateful for that." She stood up, but still leaned against the desk. Her light blue eyes looked everywhere but at me. Her nervousness shone through her shaking hands and bitten lip.

I raised an eyebrow, watching her movements. Rayna smiled, pushing off the desk. "Well, I... care about you a lot, and I know this is a really bold move." Her face turned a bright shade of pink, and I knew what she was trying to say. I sighed, knowing it would happen eventually. Someone's cocky. You think everyone is attracted to you, Booker? I wonder why. You're so aggressive and quiet. You won't even talk to me. Rolling my eyes, I continued to listen to what she was going to say.

"Booker, I asked you to go to that party, because I wanted to be closer to you. I wanted to change what we have to something different."

"Oh."

Rayna sighed, her eyes running over my expression. She was the only person who could ever read me. I didn't even have to say anything. "I'm sorry," She mumbled. I shook my head, standing up from the seat. "Rayna… I love you.. just not like that." She sighed, nodding slowly, leaning back against the desk. She looked at the floor, her face turning white.

Oh, come on, Booker. Just do what you always do. Lie to her. Tell her what she wants to hear. You could easily have that beautiful woman for a night. Doesn't that sound nice?

Grinding my teeth, I stepped towards Rayna. She looked up at me, forcing a smile. "Hey, it's okay. I kind of knew this would happen. You never take a second look at me, even if I am blunt." I raised an eyebrow. Rayna grabbed my hand, pulling me closer. She took my hand, sighing softly. "Don't worry," She said, "I know you're trying to be nice." I tried to speak, but she kept moving in before I could say anything. I sighed, feeling frustrated.

"Rayna, stop."

She looked up at me, shaking her head. She's venting, Booker. Let her vent. You did ruin her last chance at happiness. I almost laughed. Happiness with me? That's a wonderful, ironic statement. Everyone I've ever tried to be happy with has ceased to exist. It was only a matter of time before she did as well. Rayna breathed quietly, staying silent for a while. I wasn't in the mood for talking. I was only going to make things worse. I had to let her breathe for a while. Even if that meant losing her, at least she could get the closure she needed.

"You're beautiful, Rayna. Which is why you should be with someone-"

"I don't want someone else. You're the only one who doesn't see me as the 'prostitute'. I'm just Rayna."

Chuckling softly, I moved my hand from her grasp.

Fools never learn. Make her remember why you're hated by everyone, Booker.

Rayna bit her lip, standing up again. "I'm not giving you a choice. I don't see this going anywhere." Good job! Be a jerk! She'll leave immediately. Her eyes were wet with small tears. "W-What are you saying?" She asked. I sighed, biting back the urge to take it back. I was only going to make her life worse. "I'm saying that we shouldn't talk. You shouldn't be with me." She sighed, shaking her head.

"Well, I want to be with you."

"I'm not giving you that option."

Her eyebrows furrowed, but she didn't waver. That's the Rayna I know. She never lets anything she wants get away. That's another reason why I need to let her go. "Booker, what is wrong with you? I'm throwing myself at you. I thought we were-"

"You thought what? That I actually thought something for you?"

"I- I thought at least we were-"

I moved closer to her, feeling that familiar change. That's it. Bring out the beast. She looked up at me with those eyes. Rayna sighed, picking up her purse and narrowing her eyes. "Just leave," I mumbled, turning away from her. She stared at me for a while before storming towards the door. "You're a bastard, Booker!" She screamed, slamming the door behind her. I sighed, sitting back down with a huff. Rubbing my temples, I groaned under my breath. That wouldn't have had to happen if I would've just let her down gently, but she needed to know the truth. But was that really the truth?

Of course it ain't the truth! You like her as much as she likes you!

"Shut the hell up," I grumbled. The voices were getting harder and harder to ignore. But the more I listened to them, the more I knew they were right. Standing up, I quickly ran towards the door, opening it suddenly. Rayna was still walking, about to turn the corner. "Rayna!" I screamed. As soon as she heard my voice, she turned, glared at me and ran around the corner. I sighed, looking down at the floor.

"Shit," I grumbled. There was a small rustle of leaves in front of me. I looked up, seeing a figure in the darkness. It was a woman, but she wasn't completely visible. Her outline looked strangely familiar. When she came into a view, I recognized her light blue eyes. It was her. I couldn't do anything but stare at her. She smirked, stepping forward just as a cart rode by. Whenever it was in view again, she was gone.

Grumbling under my breath, I slammed the door shut. Either that was my imagination or it was really her. The woman who ruined my entire life. Stomping towards my desk, I picked up the phone. Dialing the number the man had left a couple short days ago, I waited for someone to pick up. "Yes?" A man asked, elegantly.

"This is Mr. DeWitt. Find anything about that damn creature? 'Cause I think I just saw her here."

There was a long silence before someone spoke again. It was a different man now. It was the man from the other day. "Are you sure, Mr. DeWitt?" The man asked. I chuckled, rolling my eyes. "No, I was fuckin' joking." The man sighed, and I could hear a rustling of papers. There were voices all around, but I focused on his voice only. "What did she look like?" He asked. I thought about it for a second, rolling my eyes again.

"She was only there for a second. I'm gonna give you the same answer as last time."

"Okay, Mr. DeWitt. How fast can you get to our office?"