A/N:

Ni hao! I'm here with an update. Guess what… I just ended school on Friday well 12:30 on Friday! It was a half day and I cried my eyes out for 10 seconds. You don't realize it's over until it is. Thanks to all the people who support this story. Also to guest I really didn't think about that even though I was in health class but thanks for that tip and I'm glad you like the story. On with the story!

TOBIAS POV

Ellie rushes out of the room towards the sound of the thud.

"Are you ok," I hear her ask near the door.

"Yeah, I just dropped the saline cart and it landed on my foot," the person responds to her.

Tris's grip releases a little and I know she got a little tense when she heard the thud. It must have triggered some kind of memory that I have no clue of.

PAGE BREAK

It's been 2 days since the doctor appointment where we found out about the twins genders. Every day I seem to find myself thinking more about how I'm not biologically related to the twins. And the other day I made a shocking connection that made me stop in tracks while I was walking with Tris towards the dining hall. I realized that I never really considered Marcus my father because the way he treated his own child. But while I was reading a parenting book that Tris had purchased earlier a came across an interesting article. It says and I quote "children who grow up being abused by their parent(s) will most likely end up abusing their children."

This I already knew about and feared most until I came across another article. "Parents who obtain differences from their offspring are most likely to build a more abusing relationship." That's when it all clicked, that day I was walking Tris towards the pit. I already have an abusing background and now I have the most difficult difference a parent can have with their children. No physical resemblance. Does that mean that there is a ridiculously high chance of the worst father known to man, even worse than my father? That was enough for me to drop Tris's hand and sprint towards are apartment. My outside shell that keeps my emotions in check slowly starts to crack as the warm tears make steams down my face. I don't want to become like him. I don't.

Once I get to the apartment I reach in my pocket and fumble for my keys unable to see through the blurriness of my tears. I finally find the right key I throw open the door and close it with a slam. This could be the worst day in my entire life. It even takes the number one position right above my beatings. It's one thing to be abused by your father but being told that there is a high possibility to become like him. It breaks your heart. I love these twins with all my heart and soul how could I possibly become something so hateful so monstrous. Is this how Marcus started? Did he love me at some point and then something cracked inside of him turning him into the horrible person he is today?

Right now I am pacing back in forward while running my hands over my face and through my hair trying to stop the tears and get rid of the evidence of them. I hear the door open and I see Tris's wary face peek through.

"Tobias, are you ok," she asks her voice small and mousy. As if anything can set me off. She's afraid.

"No, no I'm not ok," I respond. "I am so far away from ok you can't even see it anymore."

"What's wrong," she asks as she walks closer to me.

"Everything, everything is wrong, this is wrong," I say as I gesture towards her stomach. "Every day I have to deal with the same baggage that I really try to ignore but I can't Tris."

"You don't understand how it feels to not be a part of this apart of the twins," I pause. "I love these twins so much but it hurts to not be their dad."

"But you are their dad," Tris says.

"You know what I mean; also there is a huge possibility that I could possibly hurt the twins.' I say. I am now breathing heavily and pacing back and forward.

"You would never hurt them, I see how you look at the ultrasound when we have our appointments, you love them," she respond as she steps closer.

"You don't get Tris and you never will, I am a monster, there is monster in me," I snap at her.

"Tobias you are not a monster you are the most caring person ever and I love you," she says sincerely but sternly.

I let out a loud bitter laugh that mocks her and the words that just came out of her mouth.
"Wow that's funny coming from you Tris," I say coldly.

"What is that supposed to me," I can tell that she is starting to get pissed. Good, I want an argument.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about," I say. "I saw the way you came in here all mousy and quite as if I would lash out at you like a rabid animal, face it Tris you're scared of me."

"I was just trying to give you your space but you're the one who is acting like a rabid animal," she half yells at me.

"Me! You're the one acting like a," I am cut off by her and connecting with my face. It stings so much I start to see black spots circling around my eyes. She has never done something like this before. I must have hurt her deeply.

"Don't you dare go there, don't you dare," she seethes at me. My face still hurts and so does my heart.

"I'm going to go get some air," I say as I step around the steaming Tris.

"I think that'll be best," she responds with her back to me. I make my way towards the door but not before taking one last glance at Tris. Her back is still to me and her breathing is heavy. No matter what she's thinking I am still in love with her no matter what.

I exit our apartment and make my way towards my secret spot in the chasm. Well a secret to me and Tris. I work my over the railing and down the damp rocks. When I finally get to ledge I let it all out. Suddenly I am crying pulls which mixes with the chasm water spraying in my face. I let the tears flow freely the tears that I upset Tris, the tears of joy for my children, and the tears that I am going to be the worst father known to man.

I just sit occasionally looking up to see if Tris came to join me at our special spot. But she never shows. I sit there an ache growing in my back and tail bone for setting on the uncomfortable rocks. Eventually I start to doze off into a sleep filled with nightmares and screaming.

Done! There is trouble in fourtris paradise and I'm sorry if that made you upset but hey. I can't make everything happy go lucky in this story. There has to be drama and anticipation. Aright QOTD: when do you finish with school and if you're already finished when did you finish? I just got invited to be a part of the staff for the community called best divergent fanfiction ever by amberheart19 you should go check it out. Review, PM, follow favorite. You can talk to me about the story or what you want to happen next or just talk casually.

Peace&Love~MSC