Dislcaimer: Don't own Furuba! Don't own sanity! Fear for your life!
A/N: Soooo... Momiji is Ooc in this chapter... but after driving with Shigure, you would be too.

The Joys of Driving

"Remind me again why I have to do this. It's useless and stupid."

"It's the law, Akito. The law says you have to know how to drive."

"I didn't make that law!"

"No; the leader of the country did. Now start driving."

"Don't tell me what to do!"

Akito then proceeded to throw a temper tantrum in the car. Unfortunately, he didn't realize that the car was on, he was sitting in the driver's seat, and stamping his foot meant hitting the gas pedal, which would then make the car go forward, regardless of whether he actually wanted it to or not (and also regardless of whether or not he was holding the wheel, thus directing the course which the car took).

Akito stamped his foot. Hard. And it stayed stamped. And the car went forward. Fast.

The steering wheel also turned. Akito, who was glaring at Hatori with a fiery passion, did not realize that the car was going and the wheel was turning. Hatori did, however.

"Start driving," he suggested, pointing out the windshield.

"Why - AHHHHH!!!" Akito grabbed the wheel and turned it viciously to avoid the wall of the Sohma Estate. In a minor panic as he was, he didn't think about taking his foot off the gas pedal.

Hatori, who had expected something like this, tightened his seat belt and braced both hands against the dashboard. Akito couldn't seem to figure out how to get the car to go straight. The swerving made Hatori feel like he was on a roller coaster. He had always hated roller coasters. He slowly turned more and more green in the face, finally losing his lunch. Poor Ha'ri.

And also poor Akito, as he swerved just then in such a way as to take Hatori's lost lunch in the face.

What followed cannot be written down, as it is unsuitable for this site (or, at least, this rating) and I don't want to change the rating.

But needless to say, Akito swore off driving forever and Hatori wasn't arguing.

---

Since the chapter was so short, Hatori decided to clean himself up and take someone else driving today... he felt rather ill at the prospect and was forcibly reminded of just why he had quit his job as a Driver's Ed teacher (the only job he had had before becoming a doctor).

Unfortunately, the next person on his list was... Momiji. Actually, Momiji had been in the car while Shigure was driving... so he might be very careful. Hopefully not as careful as Tohru.

"Noooo! I don't want to learn how to drive anymore! I don't want to get into the driver's seat! Waaaaaah! Hatori, don't make me drive! I don't wanna kill any innocent bunnies!" The experience of Shigure's driving had obviously traumatized more than the pedestrians, as Momiji had to be thrown literally kicking and screaming into the car. Then he had to be strapped to the seat so he didn't run away. Hatori even taped his hands to the steering wheel.

"You are going to drive us once around the block," Hatori said, closing his door and buckling his seat belt. Momiji looked at him pleadingly, but Hatori showed no reaction to the bunny's cutest adorable-puppy-that-has-just-been-kicked face.

So, with a resigned sigh, Momiji pushed the gas pedal. To Hatori's eternal relief, he pressed it hard enough that they got somewhere, but not so hard that they were careening out of control. In other words, Hatori had hopes that Momiji might turn out to be a decent driver... maybe...

Hatori's hopes were dashed when they came to the first turn. Momiji panicked and yanked at the steering wheel hard enough that they were sent skidding in a circle. After that, the poor bunny refused to touch the gas pedal and kept his foot firmly on the break instead.

Hatori made a mental checklist of who still had turns behind the wheel coming up and groaned. He might as well just call the mortician now and schedule his funeral. It would save time.

Poor Ha'ri.