AN - Surprise Update! Also Time Warp! Kinda. Originally a prompt for some Shep/Baby fluffings, so this isn't really part of everything else per se. Shep is still Shep and Liara is still Liara. The Baby, I imagined as Vari and would set this a few months after the end of AitM, once they've settled on Thessia. Nothing too left of my own canon really. I just didn't want to post this as a stand alone when this fic is acting like my fluff folder. So yeah.
Also, may have some (read: quite a few) similarities with the last chapter, at least initially. So sorry for that. :)
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2188 CE - Athena Nebula/Parnitha System/Thessia/Armali
Shepard-T'Soni Estate
Liara had heard that some human mothers could suffer from what they termed 'post partum depression' and worried if she had it. Asari had a similar expression, but dealing with such, as it was with motherhood in general, was a very family oriented affair, with the newly minted mother relying on the wisdom of sisters, cousins, aunts in addition to their own forebears. But Liara didn't have any of that.
The sole daughter of two matriarchs, any extended family the Asari may have had were long gone or lost somewhere in the galaxy, moving on to make families and lives of their own. And while she had come to respect and love her father dearly, Aethyta was about as useful as a chocolate teapot when it came to tact and decorum regarding matters of the heart. Plus, try as she might, Liara simply couldn't shake the guilt of starting this new family and moving on from the war while Aethyta's three daughters and children were still lost out there, unaccounted for, despite the Broker's best efforts. Liara did not take defeat well and her half-sisters' continued absence was a thorn in her pride as well as a personal disturbance.
Turning onto her side, Liara came face to face with the crux of her problem, the source of her sleepless nights. Well, she argued to herself, calling Shepard a problem was perhaps the wrong choice of words. The Commander had been nothing short of a gift from the Goddess in dealing with the hormonally bipolar Asari. It was an odd sixth sense of the Human to know just when Liara needed her space or when she needed her Bondmate's comforting embrace. She had quickly learned, without so much as a word passed between the pair, which kinds of food would reduce Liara to a nauseous mess and just as swiftly rid the house of them. If the Asari was to be truthfully honest, it wasn't really Shepard's fault at all.
More accurately, it was Liara's own fears about her Human Bondmate that was causing her to toss and turn tonight. Simply put, Shepard was a Human. A Female Human. Normally, she would take on the role of 'Mother' in a fully Human, or, indeed, in any other form of alien bonding. In the years she had known the Commander, Shepard had always had a soft spot for children and while she never fully verbalised it, the woman was clearly in the brooding stage of Human development. So for someone who had grown up fully expecting to be the maternal parent, Liara couldn't help but feel Shepard had jumped at the opportunity to be called 'father' and made it her mission to fill every paternal crevice in their relationship with an oddly energetic gusto. And to be father to another species on top of such? The Asari had tried to filter in as much of Shepard as possible into their daughter but the overwhelming differences remained.
Since joining with the Commander, Liara had consumed vast amounts of Human media and couldn't help but be reminded of what small cornerstones in Human parental bonding that Shepard would miss out on. Simple things like plaiting hair or putting on make-up, to the often hilariously awkward sex talks children have with their forebears, were simply not found in Asari culture. There were no bikes to learn to ride or sports that didn't require large teams and fully stocked stadiums to play. Missing out on such fundamentals, Liara feared Shepard wouldn't be able to bond properly with their daughter, robbing the child of her father and the Human of the one thing Liara could give her, the one thing she had always wanted.
Furthermore, she and Shepard had yet to return to their former levels of intimacy since the child had been born, Liara always being either too sore or tired with Shepard being as caring and considerate as ever. Asari were meant to satisfy and fulfil their partners, and for the partners to do so in return. A part of Liara was painfully afraid that she was failing not only Shepard, but her entire race; her mother, father and grandparents before her on a fundamental level.
She sighed, studying the Human's delicately knit brow as she slept. For all she had accomplished, Motherhood was quickly reminding Liara that she was still, at heart a rash, self-centred, inexperienced young Maiden. All in all, she was simply terrified. Of everything.
A distant wail caused the Asari to tense, as her daughter denoted unrest just down the hallway. A stupid, irrational fear took hold of her, suddenly wanting to be anywhere but here. Back to Hagalaz, where her Shadow Broker duties were clearly defined, or even Therum, where the galaxy simply left her alone to her research, before the Krogan and Geth, before Shepard. A deep hatred suddenly bubbled within, directed at herself for having such thoughts. One thing she had found out she couldn't live without was Shepard. She loved the Human more than she thought would ever be possible and felt likewise about her daughter. To lose either one would destroy Liara, but at the same time, a niggling, dark voice in the back of her head whispered that sometimes, it might simply be easier without them. She hated that voice. And she hated herself, for even listening to such horrible thoughts.
The crying continued, and Liara only felt a deep self loathing as she closed her eyes, pretending to sleep, unwilling to face such stupid fears. Terrified of the minute chance that they might be validated. Beside her, she felt Shepard jolt awake, as she often did, a carryover from her Alliance days. The mattress below her dipped slightly as the groggy Human leaned over, examining her supposedly asleep Bondmate. The guilt Liara had been feeling increased tenfold as she felt a gentle peck on her temple before Shepard stood and stretched. Peeking her eyes open to catch a glimpse of the underwear laden Commander, Liara couldn't help but feel undeserving of such a creature's affections, as beautiful and formidable in body as she was in mind. She was suddenly struck by an overwhelming, irrational desire to follow the Human, born out of a fear of being left alone. She groaned internally at her own logic, another thing that had taken a significant knock in the past few months. Waiting for Shepard to set off down the hallway, Liara crept out of the bed herself before donning a thin robe and setting off after the Human herself.
Eyes snapping open, Shepard was thrust back into the realm of the living, a sound reverberating in her ears that stung more than any Reaper horn. She lay for a few seconds while her brain made sense of her surroundings. Bed. House. Night. Safe. She let out a breath. Liara? She perched herself up on an elbow and leant over her Bondmate, examining her features. She looked troubled, as if battling a nightmare. Ultimately, however she would be safe, if given time to play it out in her head. The distant crying picked up again, reminding the Commander of her wakefulness. Giving the Asari by her side a quick peck, a good luck charm in her fight against the monsters, Shepard stood, stretching her muscles into a workable condition and set off down the hall in search of her quarry.
She entered the child's room silently and approached the side of the cot. No more than a few months old, the little Asari was just beginning to get an understanding of her own movements. Rocking gently from side to side, the child's large, emerald eyes locked onto her father's, tears staining her face and a glistening on the edge of her nose. Taking pity on the child almost immediately, Shepard lifted the young Asari and held her to her chest. Shepard paced gently around the room, patting the child on the back and murmuring sweet nothings into her ear. As the child's whimpering settled down, Shepard sat the pair on the chair in the corner and cradled the little blue bundle in her lap.
"So what's the matter, kiddo? Nightmare?" She paused, as if expecting the child to respond. Instead, she was only met by large eyes that, while sharing her father's colour, were filled to the brim with the delicate inquisitiveness of her mother. In the shadow of the doorway, said Mother looked on, her mouth quirking at the Human's eccentricities. Taking the silence as a 'yes', Shepard continued, her eyes glued to the child.
"Your Mama had one too, you know? You both make this small, little scrunchy face that makes me smile every time I see it. Mama woke up in the middle of one, once; saw me grinning at her like a loon. She didn't find it so amusing." Shepard smiled fondly at the memory, before returning her gaze to the child, a soft seriousness falling over her features.
"But you know something? Every time you, or Mama, have one, I'm gonna be just around the corner, ready to chase those monsters away. Commander Daddy. It's what I do. And even when I'm not, I'll still be here," She gave a gentle prod to the child's chest, before trailing her finger upwards, bopping her on the nose and moving to caress the child's forehead. "Or here." She gave a small smile at the grin that splayed across the little Asari's face, her gums glistening in the soft light.
"And when that time comes, and it will come, I want you to be a big girl for your Mama and make sure she keeps safe and happy. Make sure she stays away from any Yahg. Once is enough, I think." She gave a wistful smile as she trailed off into silence for a moment, before returning to the present, forcing a hint of levity in her voice.
"But that won't happen for a while. By that time, you'll have a ton of sisters around to help out. And I'll still be here to scare away any high school boyfriends. Or girlfriends." She quirked an eyebrow, looking off into the distance. "Or Elcor." She glanced back down to her child, a mock sternness in her face. "Now I know Asari tend to take things slower than most of the Galaxy, but I think an Elcor would be just a touch too much, don't you?" The child gave a small giggle, unafraid of the Commander's firm gaze. Shepard's shoulders slumped, unamused by her daughter's reaction.
"You know, I looked down the barrel of a Reaper and shot it down from orbit. I managed to talk two people out of indoctrination. And now look at me. Can't even scare a baby. You've ruined me, kiddo."
Shepard sat, letting the child wrap her fingers around the Human's thumb as she continued to examine the child, smiling at all the little familiar features that comprised her face. While the freckles and nose were Shepard's, the former slightly darker than her Mother's own, the child's mouth was quintessentially Liara, constantly puckered in that adorable seriousness Shepard had fallen in love with upon seeing the suspended Doctor back on Therum several years before. The child interrupted Shepard's musings as she extended her hands, clenching, indicating she wanted to be held closer. Lifting her up to chest level, Shepard raised an eyebrow as the child looked up at her forlornly, pawing at the Commander's breast.
"Hungry, kiddo? Or is this another thing you inherited from Mama?"
The flash of understanding in her eyes was answer enough. Chuckling, Shepard stood, supporting the child's back with a hand. In the doorway, Liara shied back as foolishness began to replace the guilt in her system.
"Unfortunately for you, these are off limits and I don't want to wake up Mama. God knows she hasn't been getting enough sleep lately. But," She added, seeing the beginnings of a petulant pout springing up on the child's face. "We just might have some in the fridge. So you can just chill. Heh. Get it?" Shepard features flattened as unbeknownst to her, two sets of eyes rolled at the quip. "Bah. Too much like your Mother sometimes, I'm telling you."
Diving into the doorway of the guest room, Liara waited for Shepard and her daughter to descend the stairs before following. Entering the kitchen, Shepard placed the child in her high chair before rummaging in the fridge, drawing out a small bottle and setting it to heat. Returning to her daughter, Shepard picked her up and placed her on the counter, playing games with her. She would tickle before going to kiss each point of the little Asari's small crest, counting them off, causing the child to giggle further. When the child attempted to copy her by placing bundles of the Human's hair into her mouth, Shepard removed it, gently chiding the child.
"Nuh uh. That's a choking a hazard, sweetie. Plus I'd hate to see the look on Li's face when you start coughing up a hairball like a cat."
When the bottle dinged that it was ready, Shepard took it and perched herself up on a nearby bunker lifting a finger to her lips.
"Don't be telling Mama, okay? She doesn't let me put my feet up on the coffee table. I don't think she'd be too happy knowing I had my ass up here. No matter how delicious it is." She gave a coy smirk as she looked off into the distance, before returning her gaze to the child. "Also, if she ever asks where that word came from? Blame it on Nana 'Thetes, okay?"
Only being met with the child's dead pan expression, Shepard quickly rescinded. "Alright, alright, here, take your stupid bottle."
They sat in silence for several minutes, the quiet only punctuated by the soft suckling coming from the child's throat. Enraptured by the little Asari, Shepard was compelled to speak up once again.
"You know, I've seen a lot of bad things in my time. Hell, I've done a lot of bad things. Even before Saren and the Collectors and the Reapers, there are a lot of moments that I'm not proud of. And when the war started? Well, that was probably the worst time of my life. There were moments when I felt like just giving up, throwing in the towel. The Reapers just kept taking and taking and I didn't know how we would fight that, recover from it. But then I'd look at your Mama and I'd imagine little times like this. And I wanted that so bad. I'd do anything for it. And I did."
She paused, frowning a moment, as the child continued to look up at her, enthralled as Liara looked on from the cover of the stairs.
"What I - what everyone -went through, what we saw; I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. But you know something? If I knew that I would see you and Mama smiling at the end, I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. You two mean everything to me, and truth be told, that sorta scares me." She paused, thinking. "It's a good scary though. The best, I think."
She lapsed into silence once more, glancing down at her child to see those large green eyes shut, her small chest rising and falling in a gentle rhythm. Shepard let out a soft snort.
"Finally managed to bore you to sleep, huh? Well, come on, then." She stood up, placing the discarded bottle in the sink. "Beddy-Byes for Baby Blue."
Liara hurried up the stairs and dived into bed, resuming her faux sleeping position. She lay still for a minute, trying in vain to regulate her breathing before she heard Shepard slip back under the covers. Slowly, she felt an arm wind its way around her waist, gently pulling her closer. Liara allowed it, attempting her best sleepy movement impressions, snuggling into the Commander. She lay contented for a few moments before she heard the Human speak.
"Sweetie, you know it's rude to stare, right? You could've joined us if you wanted."
Liara's stomach sank.
"I was that obvious?"
"No, but I was an N7, for, like, ten years. It was kinda my job to know if people were sneaking about around me."
"I'll be sure to work on my technique for next time."
She smiled at the muffled chuckle she received in response. Melting into the Commander's embrace further, it was several moments before Liara spoke again.
"Did you mean what you said?"
"Every word."
"Even the part abou-?"
"Every." A kiss. "Word." Shepard pecked the Asari on the nose a second time. Liara snuggled in closer, mulling the words over. Her brow knit slightly.
"You don't think I was being a little... silly?"
"Of course you were. But that's alright. Everyone's a little bit silly sometimes."
Liara laughed, before muttering. "You are wise beyond your years Shepard. Are you sure you're not a Matriarch?"
"You saying I look old?" Liara didn't miss the mock affront in the Human's increasingly sleepy tones.
"Perhaps." The Asari teased back, before tucking her head into the hollow of Shepard's neck, allowing the Commander to sleep before she slipped off herself, more contented than she had been in a long time.