A/N: Couldn't wait any longer to write a bit of explicit slashy fun, but take heed: next chapter will have plot. Other characters. That sort of thing.

If you dig the story, please let me know! If you have ideas about what you'd like to see in it, say something. I definitely want feedback. I'll post again soon...

Wilson waited until they were in his car and he was driving – even House, he figured, would not be crazy enough to jump from a moving vehicle. "So, are we going to talk about it?" he asked.

House was facing the window. "If I say no, will you let it be?"

"How can you– House, you can't do this to me! I'm your best friend. I have to know you're not going to do it again."

"It was… an experiment," House said brightly. Too brightly – the way he sounded on those rare occasions when somebody had caught him off guard and managed to hurt his feelings. "Forget it, okay?"

"Forget it? I cannot forget that you tried to kill yourself!"

House turned fast to face him. "That?"

"Oh." Long pause. "Uh… you were talking about… the other…?" He got no answer, and cleared his throat. "Was that also a one-time thing, or do you plan on doing that again?"

"Light's green. Drive," House ordered. Once they were no longer making eye contact, he asked, "Do you want me to do it again?"

"We're no longer talking about the killing-yourself thing, right?" Wilson thought it over. "You know what? I don't know. I'll admit I did not, at all, in any way, shape, or form, see it coming. But on the other hand… I did kiss back." He paused, thought fast, decided to keep the mood light. "Quite well, if I do say so myself."

"And he's so modest, too." They pulled up in front of House's place and sat with the car idling. After a bit House reached over and killed the engine, tsk-tsking loudly. "You're wasting gasoline."

They had been to enough bars together for Wilson to recognize his friend's MO. "Are you… flirting with me?" he asked, incredulous.

"Do you want me to be flirting with you?"

If House answered a question with a question one more time, Wilson was going to kill him. "Enough is enough," he huffed instead. House wouldn't give him a straight answer? Fine – there were other ways. He leaned in, grabbed him by the chin and kissed him hard.

House responded enthusiastically. Fun as it might be to sit steaming up the car like a couple of teenagers, though, he knew his leg couldn't really handle the contortions and so pulled away pretty fast. "Wanna come inside?"

Already halfway out of his seatbelt, Wilson couldn't resist going: "Do you want me to want to come inside?"

But of course he couldn't get the last word. "Do you always answer questions with questions?" House asked on the way up the path. "It's annoying."

Before Wilson could think up an answer to that, the door was open and he was stepping inside.

And once the door had closed behind them, there was no more time to chat – rather than give themselves time to chicken out, they were on each other so fast it was hard to say who kissed who first.

Wilson pulled back a little. "House… have you ever…"

"Nope. But neither of us rides the short bus... I'll bet we can figure something out." He went back to kissing and made a playful grab for his friend's package. "Hmm. I think I might know where this goes…"

Wilson laughed nervously, but allowed himself to be turned around and hugged from behind. He sucked in his breath when teeth found his neck. Hands ran across his chest, into his shirt, over the bulge in his pants.

He was already breathing heavy and worried that he might get flak for being so desperate, but fortunately House was too busy kissing to taunt. They stumbled over to fall, still entangled, on the couch. "Are we squishing your-"

"Quiet," House ordered, cupping Wilson's jaw with one hand and teasing over his crotch with the other. He cocked his head as though asking for permission.

"Yeah- yes. Definitely yes."

So House bent to kiss him, deeply and with a lot of confidence. Figuring he had the whole making-out-with-a-guy thing down by now, he decided it was time to move on. He rubbed Wilson through his pants and murmured, "Good?" He got a jerky nod in response and leaned in close again. This time, while they were kissing, he felt around for the belt buckle and opened up the unfamiliar fly.

He sat up after a bit to look the situation over.

Wilson blinked. Rendered unusually sarcastic by the sudden neglect of his body, he said: "It's called penis. You've got one, too. It's actually useful for a number of things, one of which being-"

"Oh, shut up. I'm working out logistics."

"Logistics?" Wilson ached. "It's not hard, I promise you. You take your hand…" he wiggled his around for emphasis, "And you put it right back where it was. Right there."

House's eyes gleamed. "Show me."

"Show…you?"

"Show me. I want to see how you do it."

Wilson protested at first, but as usual, he ended up caving in the end. He closed his eyes and started jerking himself off, enjoying the feel of the warm strong arms around him. When he finally got up the nerve to open his eyes, House tore his attention away from the demonstration and looked him in the face. "My turn?" He took over, mimicking Wilson's speed and rhythm of choice.

At first Wilson was quiet, other than the occasional hisses and gasps… but when it occurred to him that House would probably stop too soon just to torment him, he started begging preemptively. "Please – like that. Keep doing… just don't stop..."

"Wasn't planning on it," House assured him, although he had in fact been toying with the idea. He was having fun. At first he'd thought that touching his best friend's dick would be the absolute weirdest thing he was prepared to do today, but on a whim he found himself bending down and closing his lips around just the very tip.

Wilson surged up with a strange noise that sounded something like oh God.

They made eye contact, and the bright flash of blue drove home the fact that it was House – House – who that wet warm mouth belonged to, and Wilson was suddenly almost there.

House slid off to the floor to get a better angle. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. Do you have any idea…"

"Yep, in fact I do." House alternated the speaking with sucking. "I do it to myself… basically every day… Sometimes more than once a day." He paused, hand and all, for effect and added, "Well, not the licking part, I don't think I could actually-"

"House!"

"Oh, right. Sorry." He started up again, firm and fast, and it wasn't long. Just in time, he pulled away and introduced a handful of Kleenex. He looked very pleased with himself.

They watched each other warily as Wilson caught his breath. "That better not have been a used tissue," he said at last.

House gave a pretend guilty look and dragged himself slowly up onto the couch while Wilson wiped off.

They sat quietly for a bit, til Wilson thought to ask, "Um, do you want me to…?"

"Why is it always about sex with you?" House whined, pitching his voice high. "Maybe I just want to cuddle!" He scooted closer and put his arm around Wilson's shoulders.

With his other hand he found the remote. He turned on a porno flick and opened up his pants. "Mind?" he asked as he started to stroke himself.

"Hmm? No, of course not," Wilson said, still a little groggy. "But if you want, I could…"

"It's okay, I got it."

Ordinarily Wilson might think that nothing could possibly warrant looking away from twin blonde lesbians making out with each other, but at that moment he found himself considering House the far more fascinating option. He was jerking off slowly, calmly, not self-conscious at all. In fact, he looked more relaxed than Wilson could remember seeing him in a very long time.

Wilson realized that if he didn't watch himself he was liable to start feeling all warm and fuzzy, and then that would really freak everyone out.

So he turned his attention to the screen and asked, "If they can do that to each other, why do you think they need guys at all?"

"Wait for it..." House laughed as a hairy, burly male entered the scene. "See? That's why. Smoking babes they are indeed, but they don't have one of those."

"Ah." Wilson looked back and forth between the movie's one of those that was being inserted energetically into one orifice after another, and the one of those that his friend was rubbing right beside him. "I've always liked when women do that," he said after a bit.

"Do which?" House sounded breathless, eyes on the TV.

Wilson's eyes flickered once more to the screen before settling on what was in front of him. "This." He reached beneath House's pistoning hand to cup his balls and massage gently.

House sped up. "Ooh- yeah, me too." He watched the onscreen lesbians and Wilson watched him, soaking up the rare sight of House with his guard down.

"Feels good?" he asked cautiously.

"You bet." A bit later: "Almost- Gimme tissue-"

Wilson could feel the sac tightening in his hand. "House, look at me," he ordered suddenly.

House turned just as oh someone better have a kleenex fuck-

His eyes rolled up, then drifted blissfully closed. When he finally opened them again, Wilson was still watching him. "Yes?" he said hoarsely.

Wilson laughed a little. "Nothing, House. Nothing." Figuring the lesbians no longer had anything much to interest them, he reached for the remote and changed the channel. "Want to watch the game?"

TBC.

What do you like / not like / want to see? So far we have a very large hit count and a very small number of comments. Don't make me bust out that rectal thermometer!