Dislcaimer: Don't own Fruits Basket.
Author's Note: Thanks to Year Of The Cat 678 for the idea of this chapter's bout of Ha'ri-torture. Ayame was the one originally behind this entire fic. Have fun!

The Joys of Driving

"HAAAA'RIIIII-SAAAAMAAAA!" squealed Ayame happily, flying out of his shop the instant Hatori got out of his car. The snake glomped himself onto Hatori and clung happily as the doctor struggled to remain upright. For such a skinny guy, Ayame weighed a lot.

"Yes. Hello. Don't call me -sama. Get in the car."

Hatori... was not in a good mood today. Ayame got in the car and gripped the wheel hard, trembling with excitement. "I practiced and practiced my driving because I knew that Hatori-sama would be teaching me!" he gushed as Hatori got into the car. The doctor first strapped the seatbelt that had come with the car, and then the five others that he had installed. "I played 'Need For Speed' and 'Road Rage' and a game with yellow people driving through town in a taxi!"

"Racing video games at the arcade do not count as practice, Ayame."

"Pish, I rented them and played them at home."

"Still don't count. Put the car in drive. Then put your foot in the gas pedal and keep the wheel steady."

"I know how to drive!" Ayame whined, like a dog begging to be complimented. Hatori, in a rare display of bad judgement, decided that Ayame probably knew at least the basics and that he should trust the snake.

"Fine. I'll just sit here. Ask my advice if you need it."

Ayame, instead of replying, squealed happily and glomped Hatori. He started driving.

After thirty seconds, Hatori realized his mistake. Ayame had most definitely learned to drive from racing video games where the objective is to go as fast as possible, heedless of pedestrians, mailboxes, stop signs, wildlife, and everything else. Either that or Shigure. Hatori wasn't sure which was worse. And, so, he prepared himself to be completely out of character again. It was coming. He just knew it.

Unfortunately, at the time, he had no idea how bad 'it' would be. Ignorance is indeed bliss...

Ayame drove - no, too mild a word. Let's try again. Ayame careened through the streets, skidding around corners and, more times than Hatori wished to count, just managing to miss pedestrians. Hatori's eyes widened when he saw the fast-approaching junk yard, also known as a place where poor, cheap, or just plain stupid people take bikes and cars to practice all sorts of stunts that will probably kill them.

As I said, ignorance is bliss.

Hatori swore. Loudly. And repeatedly. And violently. And I'm afraid that I'll have to up the rating a few times if I go into any more depth. Hatori didn't stop the loud barrage until Ayame had barely managed to survive flying off the top of a huge pile of junk, flipping through the air on the way down, and driving the trunk into the dirt. Hatori's already battered car groaned loudly as it thudded back onto its wheels.

"That was fun!" Ayame said happily. Hatori swore a few more times for posterity which, in case you don't have a government teacher who cares enough to tell you what this word that 'you will never ever see again' means, is just a fancy word for future generations. He unbuckled his seat belts, all six of them, opened the door, and more-or-less flung himself out of the car.

He landed on a pile of rotting fruits and vegetables. Oh, there were also some foul eggs in there as well. Ayame took the opportunity to glomp him.