Chapter 2. Embitterment

"Is Kyo still sleeping?" Tohru asked innocently as she placed two rice omelette in front of two subdued men. Tohru wiped her hands against the rag before glancing out of the window briefly. "The rain always makes him so tired."

"I better wake him before he becomes late for school." Tohru started to make her way up the stairs, but Shigure called out to her.

"He already left." Shigure picked up his chopsticks with Yuki following suite.

"Without breakfast?"

Shigure nodded as he tried to change into a more chipper personality, but what happened with Kyo earlier this morning was putting its toll on him. Shigure's fingers twitched slightly as he recalled the words that Kyo had said to him.

"Oh, no." Tohru frowned as she clasped her hands in front of her breast. "I hope he's not getting sick. Mom always said that skipping meals could make you sick."

"I'm sure the stupid cat is fine, Ms. Honda." Yuki quickly inferred for the sake of everybody in the house.

Yuki already knew that Shigure was worried if the lack of teasing toward Tohru was any sign of it. He had to admit, he was worried, too, and he'd rather not add Ms. Honda to the list of other people he had to worry about either.

Tohru remained standing against the base of the stairs, her hands wringing themselves in worry. She was possibly contemplating on whether or not she should go out and find Kyo for herself.

"Come, Ms. Honda. You don't want to miss breakfast, too, do you?"

After a few seconds of internal battling, Tohru sank hesitantly down next to Yuki and started her meal as well.

Yuki ate about half of his breakfast before he deemed he had eaten enough to not pass off as rude.

Yuki stood. "I think I'll go ahead. I have some Student Council business I would like to attend to before school starts."

Tohru and Shigure nodded, the former wishing him to be safe and reminding him to bring his umbrella.

He was already at the door, ready to go, when Tohru approached him with a wrapped obento.

"Yuki, if isn't much trouble, could you," Tohru fumbled with her words slightly as she clung to the obento tighter and unconsciously held it out to him a little more. "Could you give this to Kyo if you see him before school? He didn't eat breakfast and I'm worried."

Yuki took the obento from her and smiled at her. "Of course I will, Ms. Honda."

Tohru gave him a relieved smile before thinking of something and panicking again. "Are you sure? I mean, if you don't want to, that's okay. It would be so much trouble for you carrying that around. I can always give it to him later or maybe if I finish my breakfast fast then I can-"

"Ms. Honda," Yuki shushed her quickly as he slipped the obento in his bag. "It's fine. I'll make sure that the stupid cat gets this."

"Thank you, Yuki." She gave him a big goofy smile.

Yuki slid the door open and was about to open his umbrella when Tohru called out to him again.

"Yes, Ms. Honda?"

"Can you make sure that he's okay?" There was a blush on her cheeks, but she was determined to ask Yuki the question. "He just seemed kind of down lately."

"Of course."

She didn't even have to ask.

After all, he was leaving early for the cat, not for Student Council.

Despair.

He trudged in slowly, the whole area clear of no other soul than his. His wet sneakers squeaked against the tiles while water ran down his body in lengths.

He was so tired.

So tired of life.

So tired of himself.

He bent down and slipped his shoes off before placing them haphazardly in a cubby while aligning his dripping umbrella next to it. The hallways were desolate and cold with only the sound of his feet padding softly against the floor. Darkness hugged the corners of some of the hallways, telling him that he was probably earlier than the janitors. He slid his homeroom door open and sludged off toward his assigned seat next to the window.

Kyo pillowed his arms on top of each other before he allowed his cheeks to sit upon them and his eyes drift toward the window.

It was still raining.

He never enjoyed the rain; hated it to its every entity and to the smallest of its seams. It made him achy, weary, fatigue, and so absolutely weak. Recently, though, he had another reason to add to the list.

Unconsciously, his mind slithered back to that horrid memory many months ago. It was raining that day, too. When she saw him. The true him. The monster. His damned soul.

His shoulders shook as he tried to get rid of Tohru's horrified face. He plugged his ears, trying to block the sound of the rain out, but it was in vain; the sound of the rain still drummed loudly against the school's oldened frame.

He could hear her gasp, he could hear the dead weight of her umbrella falling beside her, he could hear her quickened heartbeat, he could hear her slippery feet fading away from him, he could hear her puking.

He could hear her disgust.

Sitting up weakly, he pulled his wrist in front of him and stared at his beads. His hands were shaking with an effort unknown to him.

He rolled the beads slightly up and he could see red indentions on his skin from the beads.

He never knew how heavy those beads felt on his wrist before.

Or maybe he did know. Unconsciously, he probably did know, but had always turned a blind eye toward them. He just never wanted to face the truth of it-the truth of having to depend on these beads to hide him.

The real him.

He removed his fingers, causing the beads to drop back down into place and covering the red markings. His wrist didn't feel right. They were drumming with a dull ache, but it hurt less when he didn't have to see those ugly, red markings.

He should have died that night.

Akito should have chained him that night.

Kennel him like the monster that he truly was.

After all, he deserved it.

Suddenly, Kyo's wrist slammed roughly against the top of the table as Kyo sank within himself and tried to retain his gasp as he felt pain erupt in his stomach. Kyo winced as he felt his stomach spasm tightly; his hand automatically shot down and held his stomach as he waited for the pain to pass.

"What the hell?" Kyo cursed weakly as he felt the pain in his stomach starting to slowly ebb. There were white lines dancing across his vision from the spontaneous attack. He had never felt a pain like that before. Kyo stared down at his sweaty palm and realized that his nails had broken through his skin when he fisted it too tightly. "What's wrong with me?"

Something didn't sound right.

"What's wrong with me?" Kyo repeated again. "What's wrong with me? What's wrong with me?"

Kyo started to chuckle at his own question as he tilted his chair back onto two legs. What a stupid question. He knew that answer to that question a long time ago - so, did his mother. But here he was asking the same damn question to himself.

His laugh was so coarse that he could feel his throat protesting.

Outside, he could hear the creak of the gates as some of the early-bird students started to bustle in. Oddly enough, a weary looking Yuki was one of them. He didn't know how he noticed, but somehow Yuki's usually fluid steps were stiffer than usual. By no means were they any less magnificent, they didn't even falter, really. His steps just looked stiffer to Kyo. Of course, many people wouldn't notice it unless they knew Yuki as long as he did.

The laughter in Kyo's throat died abruptly as he watched Yuki from the window.

As soon as some of the students sighted the prince of their school, Yuki was instantly flocked by other students asking him about his weekend. Being the amiable person that he was, Yuki stopped to indulge them with answers and periodically reciprocated the gesture by asking them questions.

The heels of Kyo's chair slammed loudly back into its regular position of four feet.

"What's wrong with me?" Kyo asked softly to himself as he watched the quickly growing crowd down below.

Some of the students swooned when Yuki gave them a charming smile - something Kyo was sure that he would never be capable of doing. Kyo felt another small spasm of pain go off in his stomach, but he ignored it this time.

"Everything."

A/N: I know it's been a really long time since I've updated this, but, at least, I updated right! Sorry, this chapter was really short.

I was feeling really depressed today so I wanted to write angst to help me cope some.

Of course, thank you to those who reviewed/ favorited/ followed!

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8/14/2014