Disclaimer: Wait I OWN South Park now? Really? Hold on, I gotta go down there and check!

Warning: lemony kissing scene!

Chapter Four

Friends with Benefits

Stan awoke laying out on the porch. He exhaled deeply and stressed wincing at his hurt back. Why the hell am I on the porch? He thought to himself. He then noticed someone had put a blanket around him to keep him warm. How thoughtful. But they should've just woke me up! Stan pushed those thoughts out of his head and collected his things. Somehow throughout the night Stan had got drunk and lost some articles of clothing.

He search throughout the house, filled with sleeping drunks, for his clothes. Stan checked the clock seeing it almost noon now and everyone was still here. He smiled to himself at how wild that party was last night as he found his shoe in the empty fish bowl. He also notice Clyde was hung upside down and the fuckers didn't even untie him. Craig probably did it.

All Stan needed was his shirt and the last place he remembered taking it off was in the bathroom. Stan trudged up the stairs his body feeling heavy and dead and made his way to the bathroom. Damn he hated hangovers he had the weakest stomach and now he would spend the day barfing into a toilet. He opened the door to find Kyle actually awake.

"OH Shi- sorry man!" Stan apologized. Kyle stood there blushing. He was only washing his hands but Stan made it seem like he walked in on him taking a piss or something.

"Um…it's alright I'm done so…." Kyle couldn't blush any more than he already was. He noticed Stan was shirtless and suddenly last night's events flashed though his mind. He attempted to slip by but he ended up getting press against Stan in the narrow room. Kyle looked up meeting Stan's down casted eyes. They stood close together in each other's presence. Caught in their intense gaze. Stan began to wonder would they kiss again. He can feel it, just like he felt last night. It's like he can't help himself it just happens and he can't stop it.

"Good morning fellas," Kenny yawned his eyes half open. He was scratching his aching head standing in the door way with no pants on. He had woke up in one of the guest rooms with a bunch of naked people, both men and women, and apparently he had sex with all of them…

"ACK!" Kyle yelped pushing Stan at least 10 feet away and then made a quick escape leaving Stan behind. Great. Make it obvious.

"Oh..." Kenny smirked knowingly. Stan ignored him hoping he would keep his fat mouth shut. Thank god it wasn't Wendy who walked in on them otherwise its game over. "So didn' get enough last night, huh?" Kenny started.

"Shut it, it's not like anything happened ok?"

"Stan," Kenny gave an incredulous look. "Please continue lying to me."

"Have you seen my shirt?" Stan pointed out changing the conversation completely. He was not in the mood for Kenny's lectures. Kenny groaned at his friend's thick headedness. Must he continue to repeat it? It gets annoying like this.

"Clyde ending up wearing it…I don't think you want to wear it now seeing as it's ruined," Kenny pointed out. Stan saw the teen tied up wearing a barf covered shirt. His shirt.

"Shit." Stan crinkled his nose. "Fucking gross." Stan decided it he was fine enough to drive and just needed to stop by his house to pick up a shirt and then take his ass to school. Of course he would be extremely tired. Just as he was heading out Kyle came out after him.

"Um…uh…mind if I get a ride?" Kyle's face was on fire.

"Uh sure…" Stan really didn't mind. He was just worried of what would happen when they are alone again. The ride was silent as they made a quick stop at Stan's house to get a shirt and another stop at the corner store to buy what Stan called breakfast. It was awkward and uncomfortable. Before they would chat about everything now they stutter out mindless words that make no sense and in the end they blabber on and on about things irrelevant. Making it to school during fourth period they felt going to class was almost useless since the bell would ring and they would be going to lunch next.

"Fancy seeing you again," Stan smiled crookedly at Kyle as they entered the lunchroom together. Kyle snorted laughing lightly. Stan found that his heart tend to flutter when Kyle made that sound. He always wanted to hear his best friend laughing. They greeted everyone at the table. Everyone who went to the party looked like the dead or just didn't show up at school today. What would possess Bebe to have a party on a school night? Probably because her parents wouldn't think she would even consider throwing something as massive as last night.

For the rest of the period there was the normal conversation. Occasionally, Kenny would give Stan looks that made Stan want to punch him in the face. The bell rang and Stan waved goodbye to all of his friends before setting off to chemistry. Kyle was following after him which was strange since Kyle had AP World History. Stan thought to just ignore it and turned to give a nod and smile. Kyle's face lit up, in turn making Stan share the same blush. Did he do something wrong? The red head sure was acting strange.

Once the hallway thinned out a little bit Stan was suddenly pushed into a janitor's closet. The surprising force scared the ever loving shit out of him.

"YO WHO THE FUCK-"

Before the revenette could respond a pair of soft lips silenced him. He was captivated by those lips the way they twisted against his. He couldn't help but place his arms against the small of the person's back. The way that person moaned instantly he knew it was Kyle. Stan continued kissing the smaller man more pressing against the door. He let his knee fall between Kyle's thighs. Stan pushed Kyle up encasing him between himself and the door so that he could get better access to Kyle's mouth. Quickly and almost hungrily Kyle wanted more. It was like he was addicted like he couldn't help it. Just body just wanted it. The feeling of time stopping he didn't have to think at this time he just felt. No worries of Stan leaving when he had the man in his arms, moaning his name, it was perfect and Kyle wanted more.

"Kyle," Stan could feel the boy tense up at the mention of his name against hid lips. He probably thought he could get away with this surprise attack anonymously but of course if you know someone for that long they'll know it's you instantly. "Kyle why are you doing this?" Stan broke the kiss setting Kyle back down to the ground. After a while the kosher man still did not answer. Being the worry wart he is Stan asked if Kyle was ok but the red head still did not reply. Stan grabbed the light switch, which was controlled by a string. Once the lights were on he could clearly see Kyle's face. He was crying. Light tears dripping down his cheeks. His eyes scrunched up and brows furrowed. Stan didn't know what to say. He didn't know what he did wrong. What do you do in a situation like this?

All Stan could do was wrap his arms around Kyle lovingly. Holding him securely like always. Hushing his tears and kissing him tenderly. It was wrong they both knew it was wrong but they wanted to do it all the time. After a while of kissing Stan smiled to himself at the way Kyle stood on his tippy toes and desperately kissed Stan's cheek. Really, this boy was too cute for his own good.

"Stan…" Kyle unintentionally moaned his best friend's name causing his blush to deepen. Stan caressed his cheek admiring the rink color that adorned it along with his many light freckles that all stood out against his wide emerald eyes. Stan lifted up Kyle's chin for another kiss but the kosher man spoke before that happened.

"Let's become sex friends."

Everything stopped in that moment. Stan stood there trying to process the sentence he just heard however it never made any sense. Sex friends became the only thing he could think of. Did my Kyle really just say that? Stan pulled Kyle away from him to stare at him as if he had giving birth to precious alien babies.

"Wha…" Stan's voice came out breathless and shaky.

"Well not so much as sex friends as really kissing buddies…" Kyle corrected blushing shyly.

"Oh what the shit, Kyle?" Stan swore he couldn't believe his ears where hearing. The worst part of it all was Stan had got a little happy when Kyle said that.

"Look, Stan between what just happened and what happened last night do you really think I'll just forget it? You have a girlfriend….yet you kiss me and hold me like this…do you really think that my body will forget that? I don't know how to feel in this situation but I know one thing: my body wants you," Stan gulped god that sounded inappropriate he thought as his face heated. "If we don't do things like this every once and a while then I can't be around you for a while."

"What do you mean?" Stan choked a little bit. Did Kyle want to stop being super best friends? Why did he have to up and kiss him? Fucking idiot.

"Don't worry, it's not like I don't wanna be friends anymore it's just…I can't be around you because all I think about is us kissing and then I just want to kiss you but then I realize that we can't kiss and then I get sad…"

"Kyle, you're so…cute…." Stan muttered. It was true how the Jew could say something so inviting like that it made Stan want to jump him right then and there. But he couldn't do that Kyle was right this needs to stop before their bodies crave this feeling. "Look, Kyle you're my super best friend and I don't want to lose you let's just forget this all happened, ok?"

"Stan did you even listen to me? I can't forget," he won't forget. How Stan was full of passion and how he felt so safe and warm in his arms. How being with Stan in this way made him feel like he was floating or how his eyes sparkled a little bit. Wow that sounded sooo gay Kyle scoffed. But it really did make Kyle feel better it made him weak in the knees and light on his feet. Kyle remembered this feeling as he leaned in closer to Stan. Their faces close and their breath intermingling Kyle wanted to kiss Stan so bad. Stan wanted to let Kyle kiss him so bad.

"I just don't want you to be hurt…" Stan worried.

"I won't be," Kyle replied in all seriousness he was prepared. He knew what friends with benefits meant and he was willing to risk it if that meant he could kiss Stan. The person he worried about the most however, was Wendy.

"….fine." dammit Stan gave in. He felt like he made the biggest mistake of his life but at this point he just didn't care anymore.

"Really!?" Kyle smiled as he got his way. He hugged Stan and placed a big ol' kiss on the less thrilled man's lips. He giggled and ran out of the closet before Stan could change his mind.

"What the fuck have you gotten yourself into, Stan?" the noriette curse his inability to say no to those pure green eyes. Before he knew it the bell rang for the next class and Stan decided he should get out of this closet before someone finds him. How embarrassing would that would be?

Stan went all his classes afterwards. Well there was only about two classes left anyway. He made a note to not skip again his teachers were getting really were getting suspicious of his absence. After the final bell he ran out of class and to his locker. He knew Kyle had something after school and he didn't have practice so he wanted to leave as soon as possible before he gets stuck in the parking lot.

He briskly walked to his car unlocking it and jumping in the front seat and started warming up the car. He was then startled by a sudden voice, letting out a "very manly" scream.

"Thank god you have heat!"

"Ugh what the fuck how did you two losers get in my car?" Stan questioned the two. One being Clyde and the other a certain annoying blonde. Oh and Token was there too! He had brought a peace offering, a can of beer. Stan smiled and nodded at him, Token was alright.

"Listen to this!" Clyde raved excitedly grabbing Stan by his collar. "Craig has a job!" He spit out. Clyde had a strong football player's grip. Stan almost couldn't pry his hands off.

"Ugh...gah...so-so what I already knew that," Stan massaged his sore neck.

"Not his job at his dad's auto shop," Kenny chimed in. Everyone knew Craig worked there.

"His dad bet that he wouldn't be able to get a job anywhere else with his attitude," Token explained.

"And he didn't tell us where he worked but Kenny found out!" Clyde interrupted. Stan saw that as no surprise Kenny knew everything about everyone. He probably knew about his and Kyle's agreement earlier. You can never keep a secret away from Kenny. Stan looked at all of them sideways for a while wondering how the hell did they get into his car in the first place?

"Let's go," Stan smirked. Oh he was gonna annoy the shit out of Craig. They all cheered and Clyde wiggled his slightly chubby body into the front seat and Stan started driving. During the drive "Girlfriend" by Avril Lavign started to play. Of course the two dorks demanded it to be turned up so they could jam out to it. Stan could help but laugh at their sermonized hand movements. Did they really make up a dance to this song?

"Where are we going anyway?" Stan quizzed the blonde dancing man.

"You'll see just go to this address," mysterious….

They made it to Dixxy's Disco Dinner and they all began to laugh extremely hard.

"Di-Dixxy's haha DISCO! Haha," Clyde cried out his cheeks killing him. Even Token was grabbing at his gut and snickering to himself.

Entering the disco themed restaurant they were greeted by Red at the door. Stan then realized that's how Kenny knew Craig worked here. She instantly cracked a huge smile and pointed them to their seats in Craig's section. They held back their laughs and walked red faced over to their booth. Kenny and Stan on one side Clyde and Token on the other. They stayed silent for a while. At first it seemed like a long time before someone finally came over to ask for their drinks.

"What the fuck," Craig cursed aloud as he stood pen in hand and dressed in a 70's disco outfit. Similar to Red and her hippie look with peace glasses. Although the funniest part was that he was wearing an Afro. The teens stared in awe. Then they looked at one another.

"T-that's the funniest thing...I have ever seen," this sentence staggered out of Stan's mouth and the whole table exploded with obnoxious laughter.

"Who told you about where I work?" Craig scowled and flipped them off. He then decided that a little red birdie told them and he would exact his revenge later. He demanded their drink orders.

"Hmm...I wonder...maybe I'll get...no, no I get that all the time...hmmm..." Kenny stalled.

"OI! Order something fuck face," Craig spoke up.

"Hey! I'm a paying customer! I don't deserve to be spoken to in that tone!" Kenny laughed disgustingly.

"Hey Craig do you guys have Pepsi?" Stan asked.

"Does it say pepsi?" Craig pinched the bridge of his nose. He hated his friends.

"No."

"Then there's your damn answer!" Craig slammed his hand down on the table some of the other tables stared at him and he quickly apologized. "Just order and get out."

"How does the water taste?" Clyde inquired his face all serious. Now they're just fucking with him well they have been all along but this is just cruel. Craig almost made an angry face but kept his face straight. He needed this job he bet his dad a grand that he could keep this job for a month and dammit he was going to get that money out of his old man!

"Ok ok guys let's stop messing with him," Craig smirked at Token. The only sensible one at the table. "We all will have a Pepsi," and just like that Craig face palmed and lost all hope in his beacon of light, Token Black. He walked away and later returned with kiddie cups full of apple juice.

"Here ya go kids," Craig basically slammed them down making sure to spill most of the content so that they only had a sip left. "Are you ready to order?"

"Uh...well just take the boogey on down special," Kenny smirked as Craig's very own smirk fell. That dreaded special. He began to wonder why he would work at a cheesy place and then remembered that all his previous bosses fired him because he flipped them off at the interview and this was the only boss who thought he had guts and hired him.

"Very well then..." Craig knew that resistance was futile. After Craig left the rest of them asked Kenny why he had asked for that special and why did Craig look like that.

"Don't you all know? Craig has to dance to disco music for a full minute!" Once explained everyone smiled wide and patted Kenny in the back. He did a good job.

All throughout the night Craig avoided their table even though it was hard since they continued to bother him. Finally their food arrived. A big ass buffet. The lights dimmed and a disco ball came down from the ceiling. Craig sighed as "Town of Funk" came on and he moved his hips and hand in a cliché disco move.

The immature teens laughed so hard they were now crying. Craig was absolutely not amused. In fact he was planning their demise as they laughed unknowingly. Once it was over he stomped away his so called friends still laughing their faces off.

Worse was that they stayed the whole time and bugged the hell out of him. Once Craig's shift was over they convinced him to ride with them. They promised to make up for being douche bags the whole day. Red also tagged along for a bit but they dropped her off later on.

"You got a text, Stan" Clyde passed back Stan's phone he had it because he wanted to play flappy bird and be able to throw it whenever he died. Stan grabbed his phone to see a text from Kyle.

Hey, come over- Kyle

Um...now? What's wrong?- Stan

Just bring your ass here- Kyle

"Hey look guys, I gotta go are you guys going to need a ride?"

"Naw, our houses are pretty close, have fun on your booty call," Kenny teased.

"Har har whatever, whore," Stan replied flicking everyone off and driving off towards Kyle.

Kyle on the other hand was sitting at his desk staring at his phone. He mentally beat himself up. The hell was I thinking?! Kissing buddies? What the FUCK Kyle? Kyle's internal conflict felt like a smack down as he tried to reason with himself. At that moment those word just flew out of his mouth. He didn't think it would end up like this. He needs to tell Stan it was a misunderstanding or something because he can't do this!

After a few minutes he heard his front door open followed by Stan calling out his name. "Shit," Kyle swore he still didn't have a plan of what he was going to say.

"Kyle?"

"I'm in my room…" Kyle informed. Stan entered the purple walled room finding the red head standing in the middle of the room hands clasped and a pleading look on his face. He looked….damn fuckable. Okay so maybe this was a booty call after all. Stan shook his head there was NO way he would sleep with his best fri- kissing buddy this was just strictly making out.

"Kyle," was all Stan could say before walking over to the shorter freckled ginger and holding him once again in his arms. Kyle let out a few sounds wanting to tell Stan what he planned to say but his voice failing him. He felt so stupid why every time Stan comes around he gets mute and weak kneed and he gets this burning need to kiss Stan.

Kyle looked up at Stan wetting his lips silently asking for a kiss. Stan finding him not able to resist gave in and placed his lips to Kyle's. They took no time and began to kiss fiercely their mouths moving sloppily and out of unison. Drool escaping the sides of their mouths as they moaned and grunted in pure delight. They rolled and massaged their tongues rapidly and aggressively losing themselves in the sweet sin. Forgetting everything Stan pressed Kyle on the bed experimenting. He really, really wanted to touch Kyle.

The football player let his hands roam Kyle's sides bringing up his shirt along with them exposing Kyle's pale chest and hardening pink nipples.

"Wah…what're ya doin'?" Kyle blushed bringing his hand up to cover his chest. Even though he was male he was still self-conscious about his body especially his nipples. "Don't touch them!" Kyle snapped pushing Stan's hand away. However, the football player wasn't giving up. Kyle was going to use his strong legs to just kick Stan off but his body just wasn't responding.

"But, they're so cute," Stan teased groping more aggressively.

"Stan. Stahhh!" Kyle whined as Stan rolled his sensitive nipple between his fingers.

"You like it," Stan smirked he loved seeing Kyle like this the blush in his cheeks a deep crimson his body twisting and writhing beneath him. He kissed Kyle to quiet his loud erotic protests. Their mouths now kissing more shamefully, tongue moving languidly and messily. Stan removed his shirt drawing Kyle's half lidded eyes to his tan abs. The kosher hand shot up to touch the football player's midsection. Stan shivered with every feather light touch. He watched as Kyle traced his happy trail and played with the hem of his pants.

Kyle was mesmerized by the more built teen's form his hands squeezed Stan's hips and admired his v lines. The ginger never realized he had a thing for muscles or men's bodies but he was so turned on it hurt. He could also see Stan's pants straining and Kyle's lustful, hungry gaze was only making worse.

Stan made hast unzipping his pants and firmly introducing Kyle's hand to his dick. The red head gasped. His heart pounded at the touch, so warm so thick even clothe in his boxers he could still tell Stan was only getting bigger. For a while it stayed quiet only occasional whimpers and love bites on each other necks making the only sound in the whole house. That was until the click of the front door threw them out of their stupor.

"KYLE! WERE BAAACK! ARE YOU ASLEEP?" Sheila yelled from the front. Stan and Kyle scrambled around in a panic frenzy trying to hide all evidence they could. Stan decided it was best for him to leave. He opened the window.

"What're you doing?" Kyle walked over to the window questioning him. "You don't have to leave you know?"

"Naw I gotta get going I don't think I'd be able to stay here and not want to touch you and with all the noise you make that's not possible with your mom home."

"Sh-shuddap! I'm not the only one who makes noise!" Kyle blushed making Stan smile and kiss him tenderly on his rosey cheek. Kyle glared up at him still blushing.

"If you're gonna kiss me, do it on the mouth, fuck face," Kyle kissed him aggressively with once more on lips.

"Kyle?" Sheila knocked on the door frightening both boys. Stan leaped out the window landing with a somewhat loud thud.

"Um h-hey mom just going to get ready for bed," Kyle nervously spat from the window seal. He looked out to check and see if Stan was okay. Stan gave big thumbs up after he fortunately landed in the bushes okay with only a few scrapes.

"Alright, dear, are you sure you're okay?" she seemed wary of opening the door scared she'd find her son with a dildo in his ass or something.

"Yes, Mah. Just peachy," Kyle rolled his eyes.

"O-okay…" and with that the red headed mother left.

Stan waved goodbye and started on home before someone saw him. Kyle grinned helplessly while watching Stan walk away. Then realization had set in. Oh he was such a fucking idiot. He forgot to stop this whole thing before it got dangerous

But it seemed to already get that way.

Author's Notes: Okay you guys should totally let me know if this chapter is any good I feel way to self conscious about it. Except for the Craig part I couldn't help but laugh at the idea of that Craig in an afro! Anyway is there something confusing in this chapter? I didn't really check it I usually write these at 3 a.m. so don't be afraid to tell me I fucked up! I want to get better at this writing thing.

((Kenny is a butt huh? I mean he could've just went there by himself but no he brought a whole crew around. btw after Stan left they just smoked weed in the park so yeah...friendship?))

((I promise I didn't make Kyle cry on purpose it just kind of happened I wanted to show how frustrated he was shy of punching a whole in the wall so I did the next best thing...crying.))