"HOW ARE WE GOING TO GET A NEW PAIR OF STAIRS, IZUMO? TELL ME, PLEASE! ARTICULATE TO ME HOW YOU PLAN ON GETTING US UP TO THE OFFICE!" Kotetsu yelled, spitting a little in his fervor, staring at the recently destroyed staircase. Izumo had defensively argued that after heavy training sessions, his chakra control was a little off.

Izumo flourished his hands dramatically, holding them up defensively, before answering with a - false - air of wisdom: "Okay, I have a question to answer your question- why do we even need stairs? The piles of trash work just as well. We're ninja! We don't need stairs!"

"First off, you're the germaphobe, so I don't even need to get into why that is unhygienic as hell!" Kotetsu was drunk already, red-faced and eating everything in the kitchen that was remotely edible without cooking. Though Sasuke noted that most of it seemed to be on his face. So had the few customers that had already trickled in.

Iruka had left to pick up more files at his house, leaving Sasuke alone with two dunderheads that made Naruto look grounded and sensible.

"Second off, we're supposed to throw those out! For the garbage man to pick up! If we lose garbage Shizune will actually murder us! And get the health inspector to shut us down! We already owe Iruka like, a lot. I forget how much."

"Man, I didn't wanna tell you in front of him, but the garbage man figured out it was skunk that I gave him and now he doesn't wanna pick up our trash. We're already on thin ice with Shizune this week too, for hot boxing the Hokage's office."

Sasuke had a little notepad of questions to ask Iruka. Most of them were definitions. Kotetsu had drunkenly told him about the time they'd 'hot-boxed' the Hokage's office. Some of the numbers on his list were 'hot boxing', 'skunk', and the one that puzzled him the most, 'alphabet game' because the way they'd discussed it had left Sasuke certain that the phrase was most definitely not synonymous with a mnemonic device.

"She was already so trashed she didn't notice anyway!"

"Yeah, so Shizune picks up the slack, man. Anyway, she was already pissed about something else anyway. Did you see that fucking hole she punched in the wall?"

"Oh! Yeah, I remember that. It was because I smoked the last of that Kumo bud and sent a letter to Killer B begging for more. He accidentally sent it to the Hokage's office and it was so fucking fragrant that the council found out... and opened it."

"Psht, yeah. 'Confiscate', my ass. I bet those old farts smoked it. They need a chill pill."

They shared a chuckle. Sasuke glared at another customer, who ignored his incorrect drank and swallowed it down. Sasuke had no desire to try alcohol.

"Hey man, don't tell Iruka that." Kotetsu shot Sasuke a wary look.

Sasuke had been told to man the bar while Izumo had gathered 'supplies' from the office and Kotetsu got drunk in the kitchen.

A few more customers had begun trickling in more steadily, seemingly shinobi and kunoichi at an exclusive level, which he had expected.

They all asked for different things, but he just handed them shot glasses filled with sake. The last person who objected got an up-close view of Sasuke's mix-matched eyes. They all knew who he was. The recognition was pacifying. His hair had grown, and he liked to keep it over his Rinnegan. It was best if people did not know about it. Although he hadn't bothered here. All of the shinobi customers who got ready to give him another boring piece of their petty mind was frightened off by the dark purple rings in his eyes. They marked him, even more clearly than his Sharingan.

"It's whatever, dude." Izumo blew smoke out of his mouth, coughing a little. "Iruka always knows everything anyway. He's definitely like, psychic or some shit."

"I'm not psychic," Iruka objected. Since the pair constantly carried Tsunade's paperwork to-and-fro, they refused to do it after hours. Iruka really didn't mind. After being cooped up in the classroom all day, fresh air and exercise were the least of his dislikes. "You guys just happen to yell every other word you say."

"You see what I mean?" Izumo asked Sasuke seriously, eyes red-rimmed.

Sasuke, uncomfortable, fidgeted and did not know how to react, and remained silent. Izumo did not seem to notice. Another customer asked for something called a Perky Nippletini. Sasuke poured another shot of sake and glared at them for even daring use the word 'nipple' in his presence.

"Dude, are those my pants?"

"How the hell should I know? They all look the same," Kotetsu fell out of his chair, trying to examine the seat of his pants. "We're the same size anyway. Man, I've been tellin' you that we should just wear the exact same outfit everyday. Get like, seventeen pairs of the same pants."

"Dude, I don't want your nasty germs on me! You always put away dirty clothes on accident. I don't want your jizz all over me. That shit could impregnate people. You don't wash your clothes right."

"Okay, first off dude, you're cross-eyed right now. I can't take you seriously. Are you calling me a chronic masturbator?"

Izumo stared into space, ignoring him for a moment, mouth hanging open a little. "Dude. I fucking need chips right now. Like the shit the Akimichi clan makes. Someone fucking call Chouza for a restock."

Iruka shook his head. "Stop buying that imported stuff. It's too potent for him - you know what a lightweight he is."

Looking highly offended, Izumo shook the fat cigar in the younger man's face, while Sasuke watched, vaguely interested in the commotion. "I smoked this all by myself. I rolled this all by myself." He pointed for effect. "That's impressive!" He waved it around wildly. "This is an impressive-ass blunt!"

"Don't forget, this is Umino Iruka you're talking about." Kotetsu's tone was reverent.

"Someone put on Eye of the Tiger, quick." Izumo cracked.

"I feel as though that song would be more fitting for Sasuke." Iruka raised a brow.

Sasuke wondered what the hell they were talking about.

"Dude, I drank a bottle of cough syrup once," Kotetsu looked over at Sasuke seriously. "And ended up in a strip club. Iruka did that and now the Hokage Monument is guarded at night. By ANBU."

Sasuke shot Iruka a slightly disinterested gaze. Shrugging, Iruka began to go through the paperwork. "Oh, Sasuke, where is the rag? There seems to be some sake spilled here." He pointed to where the tip of his page had gotten wet.

"Don't listen to him changing the subject. Kid, we could tell you stories about Iruka."

Iruka smiled. "The two of you are my most loyal friends. I wouldn't be where I am today without the two of you."

The pair puffed up with pride. "We take care of our own, man!"

"Speaking of taking care, have either of you seen Naruto around?"

Sasuke visibly stiffened. The reason he was stuck in this mess was because of the dobe refusing to take him in. He ground his teeth. Iruka noticed, and sent him a sidelong glance.

"Yeah." Izumo snorted. "Got his work cut out for him this time. Even he can't be capable of this reformation. The entire village is going to explode in another week from her pent up rage."

Ignoring everything else, Sasuke focused on listening very carefully to this conversation. The dobe would feel his wrath - after he finished with this damn 'job' and got his full use of chakra back.

Somehow though, his 'teacher' noticed. Iruka's eyes were knowing, and it pissed him off.

"Yes. Sasuke, did you know that your friend Karin... applied for citizenship? Tsunade assigned Naruto to show her the ropes - and keep her under control until we know she's loyal."

Sasuke prided himself on his lack of emotions. It had saved his life many a time. He was dignified - an Uchiha. But the thought of Karin - annoying as she was - at Naruto's mercy was even enough to bring up the awakening of long-buried feelings: pity... and empathy. And from the way Iruka had to search for the proper word, he assumed that it had been less of a choice and more of a necessity on her part. He wondered where Suigetsu and Juugo were.

Kotetsu laughed, loudly enough to startle Sasuke. "He keeps going on about 'cousins' and the power of friendship and shit."

Blanching involuntarily, he almost choked on the air in his lungs. He could just imagine Naruto being excited to find 'real family' and attempting to win her over with disgustingly corny attempts at winning her over.

Suddenly, an entire legion of Konoha shinobi trooped through the doors, waving at the four of them, obviously already drunk. Sasuke groaned. "Does this happen every night?"

"Everyone who gets kicked out of the other bars comes here." Izumo explained lazily. "They aren't hard to please."

"That makes two of us." Kotetsu winked at him.

Izumo mock-glared. "Okay, so it would be more than two, since that's a group. And also, are you implying I'm shitty in bed? Because I'm not. I pull bitches. Ask any female around. I am one hundred percent heterosexual, all-beef, masculine man."

Holding up his hands and heading behind the bar to grab another bottle of something, Kotetsu lowered his head in a bow. "You are so sexy, man. I don't know how anyone keeps their hands off you. You are the epitome of hegemonic masculinity."

"'Tis the aura of the lord protecting me. My virtue must stay intact until marriage." His face was perfectly innocent - until he broke into very high-pitched giggles.

"I don't think I've met anyone more married than the two of you," Iruka gently jibed. "Also - Sasuke - Kakashi is stopping by later. To come and see how you're doing with all this."

About time, he thought to himself. His old 'sensei' had a tendency toward lateness that extended into every aspect of his life. Sasuke shrugged. "How do you know?" Second-guessing did not work with the Copy-nin.

Iruka smiled a little. "He and I have become close since your arrival - and he has been discussing your progress with me as of late.

He did not scowl. He did not spike his chakra high enough to send the limiters around his ankles into a shocking frenzy. He simply stared. What did his old 'friends' who tried to get him to return to desperately, even want from him? It was obvious from the beginning that nothing would ever be the same, after he left. Some of the arriving shinobi wandered to the bar and began asking for drinks, shit Sasuke had never even heard of.

"C'mon, I'll tutor you," Kotetsu smiled impishly, his breath smelling strongly of alcohol. "'Sides, I guess you're not technically supposed to serve... since you are underage... and you don't have a license... and aren't technically on payroll... but whatever."

Iruka rolled his eyes, but surprisingly, did not go on a self-righteous rant about child labor or something else Sasuke did not know or care to know about. The Hokage had probably decided that it was best to keep him under wraps anyway. The Uchiha name wasn't very popular in most crowds these days... nor was the name 'Sasuke'.

"Sasuke, the Academy is opening again tomorrow, so my hours will be longer. I probably won't see you until the night."

"We can pick him up when it's time for work!" Izumo sang.

"Izumo, put that out in here, the weed-fiends will ask for some and the whole place will stink of low-quality marijuana. And only if you promise to remember to get him. Sasuke, would you be able to make your way here by yourself? Or perhaps that's a bad idea... considering..." the young man mused to himself.

"I don't care." Sasuke answered blandly, pouring shots to everyone who held out a glass. There seemed to be virtually no rhyme or reason. Unlike the previous establishments he'd been forced to endure, this was unorganized. Surprisingly, despite the antics of the owners, his killing intent had flared down quite a bit.

"Perk up, kid!"

It was... he studied her without real interest, trying to summon her back into memory. The chuunin exams proctor. Anko - she had been a student of Orochimaru. But she had failed and had been unable to kill him. He shrugged.

"This is a sweet job for someone of your age and position," she said rudely, and Sasuke raised an eyebrow at her tone. She waggled a glass in front of his face. "Now, c'mon, refill!"

He poured some clear liquid on to her hand, missing the cup, and absent-mindedly wished he had enough free chakra to use a katon jutsu on her hand.

The cycle continued like this - while Izumo and Kotetsu half-heartedly made drinks, he poured shots, and Iruka did paper-work, occasionally reminding the other two of something they had missed - a bill, an outstanding charge, something about tabs... thinks Sasuke did not know about and had even less interest in. By the time the last drunkard had staggered home, the three of them were tired. Though Sasuke's exhaustion was more mental, from listening to the two flirting, and eventually, watching them dance shirtless on the bar, irritating Iruka, who had to migrate to a new table.

Kotetsu was asleep on the bar now, and Izumo seemed close to it, when the door quietly opened.

"We... closed!" Izumo yelled, but his voice lacked authority. Sasuke turned from where he was washing his sticky hands and nodded.

"Hello, Sasuke."

Even while Konoha had changed, it seemed that Kakashi had not.

Perhaps his steps were a little lighter, the lack of Sharingan opening both of his eyes that looked a little less forced into emotion... but other than that, he was the same. The mask was up, his vest was on, and his white hair spiked up in a way that Sasuke had always secretly thought was hair gel.

He acknowledged Kakashi with a nod. "Are you looking for Iruka?"

"No... I was actually looking for you."

"Took you long enough, didn't it?"

Sasuke swore to himself. That sounded quite a bit more bitter than he'd intended. Like he wanted Kakashi to think that he'd hurt his feelings. What was he, a thirteen year old genin under Orochimaru again? But Sasuke would never admit that it was... nice, almost, to not be running for his life on a daily basis. Especially since here, nobody was trying to attack him romantically, since Karin was wrapped up and Sakura... had changed.

Everything was different now, even if Kakashi looked the same. Even fighting in the war together hadn't made much of a difference. It wasn't the old days, no matter how hard Naruto tried to convince them of that.

Kakashi opened his mouth to reply, but instead, Iruka came down the steps. In a split second, the air changed from tense to relaxed, and Sasuke wondered why that was.

"Kakashi!" Iruka smiled delightedly. "I figured you wouldn't come until much later. What a pleasant surprise."

Since when did Iruka know about Kakashi's habits? Though he supposed that it was fairly common knowledge. Kakashi's eccentric ways were almost as well-known as Gai's. The thought of the huge bear of a man he hadn't seen in years surprised him. It was being back here. It brought things back.

Iruka walked up closer, and stood strangely near Kakashi. Sasuke wondered at that. Usually Kakashi would move away, subtly, or suddenly just appear in a new spot, or at the very least, whip out a book. But he did none of those things. Even Kotetsu's obnoxious snoring didn't break the strangeness between the three of them.

Smiling nervously, Iruka send glances between the two of them. "So... Kakashi... how is Naruto's ward coming along?"

"She's... not particularly receptive to Naruto's... brand of personality."

Sasuke did not laugh. It would be undignified, and Uchiha did not snort at bars with two of their old teachers while a man was passed out shirtless in front of them. This was not a situation where he should laugh.

Especially since he was a just a little grateful towards Iruka now. Despite his fury at the dobe leaving him behind, he also probably would've killed him in a week. Naruto always managed to get under his skin. And probably Karin's. It was sickening... but at the same time, almost amusing.

No.

Izumo and Kotetsu were probably rubbing off on him. Goofiness seemed to be contagious. And dangerous. He masked his face, and studied the two of them. It hit him, and he almost blinked from sheer surprise.

Their closeness. How Iruka knew so much about his situation. Kakashi's - almost - willing presence. So, neutrally, he leveled them both with an accusing gaze:

"Kakashi... Have you worked here, too?"