Hope grimaced as she caught sight of herself in the mirror, she didn't pull off the tight cat-suit like Natasha. Natasha had curves and well Hope didn't have much too speak of.
She tied her hair back into a tight ponytail as she briefly wondered why she grew it out so long, it was brushing the end of her shoulder blades, and her gaze paused on the tarnished silver chain around her neck.
Mum.
She shook of the memories, she couldn't afford to get distracted after all.
A whistle behind her made her roll her eyes as she saw Tony standing in his beat-up armour with his helmet tucked under his arm.
"Nice," he gave an overly done wink at her.
"Really?" she gave him a look that said 'seriously?' and Tony smirked.
"I'm helping your ego," he told her.
"My ego doesn't need helping," she countered. "Why are you here?"
"I'm about to head off to Loki and wondered if you wanted me to do anything, like take a certain DS to safety?" he raised her eyebrows.
"Keep it in your bar," she told him as she handed over the sticker covered DS. "Your bar survives everything."
He mockingly saluted and left her.
She sighed and grabbed a belt of knives, Bucky and Logan had taught her to get close and personal in her fights and she hated the loud bang of guns so she preferred her knives.
"Here,"
A belt was shoved under her nose and she blinked up at Steve.
"What?" she asked and Steve rolled his eyes—one of the modern gestures he had picked up easily it seemed.
"It's for you, put it on," he near ordered making her roll her eyes as she reached out for it and her breath caught in her throat as the light made the silver around the black X wink. "I asked the Professor for one, you should be one of them and it's only right that you wear that symbol in battle."
"Perhaps I can get them some good news-time," she half smiled as she clipped it around her.
"You'll ruin it by opening your mouth," Clint automatically shot at her, breaking out of his funk of woe at being mind-controlled by Loki, and both Steve and Natasha laughed—the traitors.
Charles Xavier steeled his fingers in front of his mouth as the screen filled of images of New York—thanks to Jones for hacking through into the cameras that filled New York.
His sharp blue gaze moved to where Logan was brooding, his mind whirling with different ways of going and helping Hope. James flanked him, strong hand clasped in Clarice's as her green gaze seemed glued to the screen as the Quinjet that they all knew that Hope was in crash-landed.
"Not very good flier, huh?" Eric asked softly, smiling at the angry glare that Logan shot at him across the room and Charles bit back a sigh—truly Eric enjoyed baiting his X-Men too much, especially Logan.
"Is she okay?" Rogue's whisper carried through the tightly packed room as she pressed closer to Bobby with Jimmy close beside her—Jimmy had formed a quick friendship with Rogue as his powers stopped hers and slowly they were both learning how to control them together.
"She's fine," Blindfold answered though she reached out to grip one of the triples' hands—it was still strange for Charles to look into the faces of three of his young students and see the proud face of Emma Frost stare back at him with her glacier blue gaze. "Hardly a bump."
"Elf," Logan's gruffly asked and Kurt, Nightcrawler as he was once called in the circus, looked up with curious golden eyes at Logan's usual nickname for him. "If things go too south, you better go and get her."
Kurt nodded just as one of the children gasped as one of the aliens blasted Hope in the chest.
Xavier just caught sight of the small object—a necklace he knew—fall to the ground and almost pitied the alien as Hope looked at it with murder in her gaze—she was very protective of the pictures of her mother.
Hope ignored the metallic scrapping sound that came from her left arm—she had tucked her broken necklace into the freeze-space for safe-keeping—and ripped the gun from one of the alien's—frankly she didn't think the deserved her even thinking their name—and stabbed him brutally in the throat with the blade left hand.
Natasha may have almost easily figured out how to fire the damn gun, but Hope was perfectly happy with using it as a club or bat as she battered the aliens into bloody messes.
She held it in her right hand and brutally made her way through the dumb aliens that dared to challenge her or attempt to kill her—she ignored the screaming of the civilians and questioned why people wanted to be heroes as all they had to deal with was screaming civilians, dangerous villains, being accused by the very public that they saved, end up with huge property-damage debt and normally died young.
"Tony," she grunted as she twisted her left hand into the back of the neck of one of the alien. "Better keep an eye out for the Council making a stupid-ass decision like sending a nuke."
"They wouldn't sent a nuke," Steve automatically protested while Natasha and Clint kept their silence as they took down multiple opponents—both of the agents knew the extremes that the Council would go in the name of peace.
"Right, we'll do," came Tony's answer and Hope was glad to know that he knew that she was serious in her warning.
Clarice was almost fully bitten through her lower lip as she stared at the screen, hands itching to help the woman that had saved her and James so many years ago.
A straggled sound left her throat as she saw one of the things—aliens apparently—throw their gun-staff over Hope's head and pulled her back tightly against them with the gun-staff tight against her throat.
Automatically Hope's right hand dropped the gun-staff she had stolen and had been using as a bat and reached up to claw at the gun-staff attempting to cut off her air as her left swung back and stabbed at any bit of body she could reached.
The raging green monster—the Hulk apparently and Hope's teammate—appeared and reached out rip the alien off her back, gun-staff breaking the skin of her throat—revealing muscle, silver bone and blood—and Hope cut off one of his hands so that the Hulk could properly throw it to its death without taking her head with it.
Hope turned with a grin to the towering beast, blood-stained teeth bared in the grin of thrill of battle, and he grinned back, carefully patting her on top her head with two of his large fingers, with the same feelings.
Logan grunted, looking vaguely approving, and crossed his muscular arms across his broad-chest.
"What the hell is this?" Hope poked at the food, that had been delivered to them on paper-plates as the owners of the little take-out brushed up broken glass and such, in disgust.
"Shawarma," Tony asked with a tired smirk on his battered face as he took a bite of the meaty dish.
"Why couldn't we go for Chinese? I like Chinese," Hope asked as she grimaced at all the different meats she could see.
"I wanted shawarma and as the only one that died today, I think I should have my wish fulfilled," Tony declared with only a trace of his usual arrogance making Steve shake his head and Natasha rolled her eyes.
"I probably should have died over a dozen times today," Hope countered as she lifted her paper-plate and handed it to Thor, who smiled as he took it.
"You're supposed deaths don't count," Tony sniffed making her bark out a laugh as she tiredly leaned against Steve.
Bruce quietly ate his own meal, his face tired but slightly amused at the banter that Tony and Hope exchanged so the meal wasn't completely awkward.
Hope seemed set on doing nothing as they ate, leaning tiredly against Steve with her eyes closed. Steve moved very carefully as he ate so he wouldn't dislodge his partner that was almost asleep.
Clint thought that when Hope was almost asleep that she looked like the young woman that they had found and saved, the girl that laughed at his weak pokémon as she won each battle and slapped away his hands from her fries.
Loki glared down at the petite woman as she fixed a sign around his neck as Thor gave goodbyes to his new friends.
Hope just smiled up at him after she made sure her sign was straight and stepped back, Steve's gaze trained on her back like they are still on a mission and he was ready to defend her back if she needed it—it was kind of cute having a partner really.
She read the sign once more and gave a firm nod before she went to say goodbye to Thor.
Thor swept her up in a large hug and she almost could feel her metal-cased bones groan from the strength he was using so hugged him back with almost equal strength.
He let her drop to her feet and smiled.
"We'll see each other again," he declared and Hope believed him.
"Be careful of Elves," she warned him seriously and a look crossed his face that told her he would be taking her seriously before he laughed like she just said a joke.
He turned to go to his brother and her hands shot out to grip his arm which made him look at her in question as he took in the tension that tightened her face.
"Tell your mother that you love her, you'll never know how much time you have left with her," she told him and Thor looked over his shoulder and took in the sign that Hope had made sure to hang around his brother's neck.
'I'm sorry and I still love you Mum' it read in bold and clear handwriting and nodded his head seriously to his friend as he knew that she was warning him for a reason.
Thor knew that Hope knew more about things then she let on and she was fearful of speaking of them, it was clear in the way she spoke to him the first time they met, and knew it was important if she broke her oath of silence.
Then again, Mothers were a sensitive subject for her.
"I will," he vowed and her face relaxed as she let go of his arm, she stepped back and Steve's hand rested on her shoulder in silent comfort.
Hope watched as Thor and Loki left earth and they were all saying their own goodbyes, Natasha handed Bruce his bag and he placed it in Tony's car.
The billionaire had said he would drive the doctor to the airport though Hope knew that he would really be taking him back to Stark Tower.
Natasha and Clint were going to stop in and visit Coulson before they cashed in their holidays for some relaxation far away from America and the demanding press.
Steve was finally going to go see old friends though he was dropping her off at Xavier's first, she had told him that she could go with him if he wanted and he had smiled—that horribly innocent boy scout smile—and said he would call her if he needed her but she should have time with her family.
She had fallen silent at that touched that he had called them her family, something she thought and felt but had never told him, and realised that this was what it meant to be in a partnership like Natasha's and Clint's and how it was probably loads of peoples' dreams to be Captain America's partner.
I like to think I'm not a coward, how could I be a coward after all that I lived through and the battles I had thrown myself into like a reckless person—being basically immortal seemed to make one reckless—and yet sometimes I felt like a coward.
I feel like a coward when I look at Rogue and Bobby, so happy and in love and able to touch as Rogue learnt to keep her power in her hands, and I realised that sometime in the next eleven odd years that Rogue would be dead and Bobby would be fighting an endless war against killer robots.
I feel like a coward when I see Logan standing in front of Jean's and Scott's graves and know I could have done something.
I feel like a coward every time that Steve falls silent, deep pain in his bright blue eyes, and know he's thinking about Bucky and I don't tell him that he's still alive, that he's mostly okay despite being in Hydra's hands, that the people we worked with could be Hydra, that in two short years he was going to be confronted with his once believed dead best friend as he attempts to kill him.
I feel like a coward when I dream of Wanda and Pietro and I realise I haven't once searched for them, my first friends in this life, and I realise that I have no idea what their fate is.
I feel like a coward when I see bombings being put down as Terrorists and know that it's really A.I.M and I know the crap that's heading Tony's way and I know that I won't interfere in case I accidently get him or Pepper or Rhodey killed.
I feel like a coward when I stare into Clarice's bright green eyes and James' dark eyes and realise that their lives would be hell in the next eleven years.
It's worse to look in to their eyes and know their fates, know how many times they should have been killed but are only save because of Kitty. Clarice and James were mine, they were my kids like Rogue and I was Logan's kids, and they had been mine from the moment I saw them as pre-teens and saw how fearful they were, how James was willingly to protect Clarice with his life if he needed too, and how they almost reminded me of myself.
I took them, rescued them like I had hoped someone would rescue me before SHIELD turned up and saved me.
I feel like a coward when I look at them and wish that I wouldn't have to watch them run for their lives and freedom, when I wish that I'm long gone so I don't have to watch their fear come back into their eyes.
"'ello Professor," she greeted as she watched the kids play tag making it more fun and challenging by running through Clarice's portals.
"Hope," he greeted warmly as she had to smile as this reminded her of their talk so long ago.
"Another private chat?" she asked as she glanced up at him.
"I couldn't help overhearing your worries," he admitted and she almost laughed. "You're not being a coward Hope."
A bitter smile twisted her lips as she returned her gaze to the playing kids.
"Yes I am," was her simple reply.
"You know my history with Eric, probably better that Logan does, and you know I did little to stop him walk down his path," he glanced down at her seated form, one leg stretched out in front of her and one leg tucked against her chest with her arms circling it, with bright blue eyes. "I knew what he was doing, I could have attempted to stop him but I didn't. Does that make me a coward?"
"Some people would say yes,"
"I'm asking what you think Hope,"
"You and Eric were close, you saved each other's lives, helped each other grow, you two were the start of all this," she waved her hand to the freely running children and teens, all mutants some physically mutated as well as gifted. "To not be able to stop him, and we both knew until now he would have to be killed to be stopped, is so understandable that I can't think of you as a coward for not wanting to kill your friend, your brother."
"You look at Clarice and James, and you see your children staring back," he said softly. "You have watched over them as much as you were able to with SHIELD limiting you, you saved them and made sure they would continue to be safe. You know their fates and like any mother you don't want to see such hard fates fall upon them, you fear trying to stop it in case you make everything worse by trying to help them and I can understand that, I knew how you feel.
Because of you, I knew what would befall Jean and Scott and yet I did nothing with that knowledge as I was as fearful as you that I could make it worse and I regret that. It is not a crime to fear, Hope, and in the end it's up to you what you do with your knowledge."
"I'll regret not helping them but if I do, I'll fear every day that I made it worse for them."
"I cannot tell you want to do, it has to be your choice,"
Hope let out a sigh.
"Either way I'm damning them," she looked up at him, frustration clear on her face. "I am selfish enough to wish that I didn't have the choice, that I was told or given a sign to show what I should do."
"We chose our own fate, Hope," he told her. "It's what makes us human."
Humans have free-will, it gives us choices on how we live our lives.
Free-will was something that I had always believed in, mostly because I believed there was no higher power that bent us to its whims. But that was before this, before this hell, and I can't help but wonder if there are really higher beings that aren't aliens like Thor and the Asgardians.
Probably because of my love of Percy Jackson and fondness of the old Greek myths, I can't help but think of the three fates spinning their tapestries filled of threads of peoples' lives and I wonder if I could actually change things at all if there was higher beings like them planning and weaving everyone's' lives.
Bad things happened to those that tried to fight against fate.
How could I live with myself if I did something and doomed everyone I loved because of it?
I guess in the end, I'm still the coward that hadn't wanted to wake up and face my new reality.
AN: I have a poll on my profile for Hope's powers in her X-Men life, you have till the end of this story which will probably be in a few more chapters to vote.