My Coltfriend is a Doctor
Chapter 4: Derpy & Carrot Top
"Ohnononono!" Ditzy sobbed. In the Market today, Ditzy had an unfortunate run-in a Spell Punk, nasty little creatures, and had picked up a Cake Curse. Any food she touched, be it apple pie, dandelion sandwich or hay-fries, turned into chocolate cake. If she was really lucky, it was Victoria Sponge.
The wouldn't be too bad, except she really wanted a muffin right now, but it kept turning into cake.
She cried a little bit. She was alone in the house, Dinky had not yet returned from school, so Ditzy could sob over trivial matters without being told off.
Her sobbing was interrupted by a green flash at the door. A big smile grew on her face. Green was the colour of time!
She galloped to the door, swung it open, and was very disappointed.
It was Carrot Top.
"Hey Derpy, check out this magic stick I just bought." Carrot Top said, as she knocked the stick she was holding against Ditzy's doorframe, creating a brilliant green flash.
Ditzy's head fell. She was really hoping for it to be The Doctor. But it was still her best friend, an acceptable shoulder to cry on.
"CARROT TOP!" Ditzy wailed, sobbing on her friend's shoulder.
Carrot Top was used to these outbursts from Derpy. She was a "special" mare and sobbed over minor inconveniences. God help her if she was subjected to actual tragedy, or heartbreak.
"Carrot Top, will you feed me?" Ditzy whimpered.
"What? No!" Carrot Top snapped. "You're not a foal, Derpy!"
"But-I-Really-Wanna-Muffin-But-Everytime-I-Touch-One-It-Turns-Into-Chocolate-Cake-And-I-Don't-Like-Chocolate-Cake!" Ditzy wailed, in a manner it resembled blubbers and sniffles more that actual words.
"What?" Carrot Top said, only registering guttural sounds.
Ditzy did something really cheeky. She used her power over souls. An orange aura surrounded Carrot Top, the colour of souls. All the love in Carrot Top's heart, which was a lot, surged towards the surface. Carrot Top began to smile.
"Of course I'll feed you Derpy." Carrot Top said. This relieved Ditzy greatly.
"Come inside then." Ditzy said, her tears drying slightly. "Oh and Carrot Top, thank you."
Inside, Carrot Top had tried to feed Ditzy Doo her muffin, but the moment the confection touched her lips, it just became to delicious, warm, gooey, fudgey chocolate cake. Two layers of chocolate cake glued together by warm chocolate icing, topped with nuts and an occasional malteser, buried like treasure. But Ditzy didn't want delicious, warm, gooey, fudgey chocolate cake. She didn't want two layers of chocolate cake glued together by warm chocolate icing, topped with nuts, nor did she want the occasional malteser, buried like treasure.
She wanted a MUFFIN!
"Oh No!" Ditzy wailed, spitting the cake out. She began to weep, but paused when she watched a brilliant green flash shine outside her door.
"Oh Jeez, is this thing broken already?" Carrot Top groaned, inspecting her magic stick.
Ditzy wasn't going to be fooled twice. She galloped to the door and swung it open. It was the Doctor, smiling as ever.
"Hello Miss Hooves, I've come to fix you're mouth." The Doctor said, waving this weird screwdriver-like thing.
"What?" Carrot Top yelped in confusion.
Ditzy looked both relieved and overjoyed. She loved watching the Doctor do his thing. And now, he had come to save her from a terrible curse, and as far as she knew, there was only one way to end curses.
"Um, Miss Hooves, why are you making a kissy face?" The Doctor asked, eyebrow raised.
Ditzy's eyes snapped open as the Doctor trotted towards her bubbly rump. Ditzy dribbled slightly as the Doctor pressed his hooves against random areas of her posterior, seemingly looking for a certain spot.
Then she screamed when the Doctor rammed his screwdriver into her crack.
Carrot Top fell to floor, rolling around in hysteric laughter.
The Doctor turn it on, and left it to jiggle in Ditzy's flank. He then trotted to her front and began to play patty cake with her front hooves, while reading out some strange incantation.
"Cake is Lovely, Cake is Gooey, But Ditzy Doo Wants Something Else to Chewy."
The Foctor took the screwdriver out of Ditzy's bottom, and spanked her.
"And for the record, that was just for the comedy."
Suddenly an ethereal and semi-demonic fish sprang out of Ditzy's mouth and flew out of the window at top speed.
"Thank you." Ditzy said, grabbing a muffin. She was over the moon that it stayed a muffin.
"Where'd the fish go?" Carrot Top asked, still not quite sure what was going on.
"I dunno." The Doctor said. "But it's be laugh to find out."
Elsewhere in Ponyville, Octavia was beginning her diet.
"It's a good thing the Doctor warned me about this 750 lbs business. I need to start watch my weight."
She grabbed an apple, not realizing it transformed into cake.
"Mm. I never knew apples could taste this good." Octavia smiled.
The Doctor was preparing to leave, but Carrot Top stopped him. Carrot Top was well away of the Doctor's "parlour trick" and was also aware of the current love triangle.
"Look, I'm only gonna ask you once. You're too old to be our Doctor, so when do you come from."
"I'm from nine years in the future." The Doctor smiled. His hooves began to glow green, a sign he was about to go back.
"And, out of Vinyl and Derpy, who wins?"
"Oh that's easy. I fall in love with Miss…"
Carrot Top looked up, only to see the remnants of a brilliant green flash.