A/N: I know, I know, it's taken forever, again. Real life is such an inconvenience; don't they understand that all I want to do is write fanfiction and eat cake all day?
Thanks to The Red Dove for being my go-to advisor on all things Mormon. It's been a real blessing in disguise having someone to tell me how the church works and all the little intricacies that generally make it up. I shall be using this information at some point during this fic, I promise!
I hope you enjoy this; please review if you have any feedback.
"Alright, what's going on?"
Christian didn't reply, staring instead at the tray of cutlery he was sorting through. Andrew's nostrils flared in irritation and he kissed his teeth, eyelids narrowing as he leant back against the wall and glared at Christian.
"Are you deaf or plain ignorant today?"
"Leave it alone."
Andrew stared intently at the side of Christian's head, teeth grinding as he tried to figure out just what in hell was going on.
"Lover boy done the dirty?" he asked after a moment, relieved in spite of himself when Christian looked at him in disgust.
"Fuck you. He wouldn't do that."
"Well, something's obviously eating you, right? Otherwise you wouldn't be pouting like a goddamn diva instead of sorting the forks out."
Christian shrugged half-heartedly, the residual anger in his stomach now tinged with a sick feeling of anxious regret.
"His mom called yesterday."
"I thought they didn't talk? What'd he say to her?"
"Nothing, she left a message. I only picked it up when I got back."
Andrew nodded, understanding written on his face.
"He pissed about it?"
Christian exhaled heavily and threw down the fork he'd been holding.
"I tried to be all understanding and that crap, you know; tried to get him to talk about how he was feeling and shit, but he just clammed up and we had some big fight about it. What the hell can I even do?"
Andrew's face softened a little and he laid a hand on Christian's shoulder, squeezing firmly.
"You just gotta let him know that when he does wanna talk about it, you'll be there. Ain't no use trying to pull him the way you think he should be going. He's a big boy. He needs to get there by himself."
Christian took a deep breath, picked up the dishcloth and cutlery and started wiping. Last night he'd purposely dragged out the clean-up at the end of his shift, only getting back to the apartment at one in the morning. Aaron had been asleep, curled tightly around a bundle of bedsheet, and Christian had simply kicked off his clothes and lay down on the couch.
This morning he'd got up earlier than usual and gone for a run. By the time he was back Aaron had left for work. There had been no texts, phonecalls or IM's between them for over twelve hours. And God, thought Christian, doesn't that make me sound like some crazy chick?
"Hey, try to put a smile on that face," Andrew said, elbowing him gently. "You'll scare off all the customers."
In spite of himself, Christian managed a small grin and Andrew chuckled as they made their way into the restaurant.
The bench by the hospital was empty, and Aaron perched himself in the patch of feeble January sun, pulling his jacket a little closer. As much as he was enjoying getting to know his co-workers, the smell of Serena's homemade falafel was a little overpowering when thrust in front of his face. And besides, a little one-on-one with Mother Nature was always good. As he un-wrapped his sandwich he became aware of an approaching figure and looked up. Lila, face clad in large sunglasses, walked down the path toward him, high heeled shoes clacking against the paving stones.
As she drew nearer she peered a little closer at him, smiling in recognition.
"Aaron; what are you doing here?"
"It's lunchtime ma-am, I'm just getting a breath of fresh air out of the office."
Lila slid her sunglasses down her nose and looked at the sky in surprise.
"Lunch already? I felt sure it could only be eleven thirty at the latest. Still," she said, moving the glasses back, "It means time is moving relatively quickly, doesn't it?"
Aaron smiled politely and took a bite from his sandwich. Lila sat down with a sigh at the other end of the bench with a sigh and fumbled around in her bag, coming out with a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. She took one out, lit it and drew in deeply. They sat in silence for a full minute before she looked over in horror at him. Switching the cigarette to the other hand she made a hasty attempt to fan the smoke away from him.
"You're eating. How rude of me; you don't mind, do you? It's not something I make a habit of, but sometimes it seems necessary."
"Not at all, go ahead."
During the following silence she considered him from behind her glasses.
"So, you're a permanent fixture now, I suppose?"
"Yes ma'am, I hope so."
"Quite the charmer, aren't you? No offense, my dear boy, but calling me ma'am makes me feel quite a lot older than I am."
Aaron grinned and sat back against the bench, the cool wind bringing up goose bumps on the skin of his neck. Lila arched her neck gracefully and blew the smoke away over her shoulder.
"What are you doing these days?"
"I, uh, just finished my second day at a new job."
"Oh, congratulations. I take it you aren't bartending, then?"
Aaron smiled and shook his head.
"No, it's actually a faith-based charity, just a few blocks away."
"Gosh, you are a paragon of virtue, aren't you? Slow down, dear, you're making us all look bad."
"I'm no saint."
Lila smiled fondly, dropped the cigarette to the floor and crushed it beneath her heel.
"Compared to everybody else you are."
"Well, perhaps people just need to not think about themselves so much. Perhaps society could get on better then."
"Don't take this the wrong way, and it is the most charming concept I've heard all day, but that is just a little naïve. Human nature is inherently selfish. We all want things that bolster our self-confidence, pad out our own ego. Our relationships become what we can drag from the other person; and we call that love. Nobody is willing to fight or die for anyone anymore. No heroes, no chivalry. Just a lot of bastards out to get what they can."
"That's a very bitter way of looking at things, don't you think?"
"That's the way I see them at the moment." She paused for a second before forcing a tight smile. "I'm sorry, it is interminably rude of me to sit here and spout all this negativity at you. I obviously woke up on the wrong side of the bed."
"Oh no, no need to apologise at all. I've not had such a great day of it myself."
Her concern tempered only slightly by nosiness, Lila took her sunglasses off and turned to face him fully, head tilted to one side.
"A problem with your new job?"
"Ah, no. I wish it were that easy. Christian and I had a heated discussion yesterday about something I wish hadn't happened." Lila's face dropped and she sighed sadly.
"He's not been…playing away has he?"
Aaron shook his head ruefully and looked down at the ant making its slow progress along the stones; a twig five times its size balanced tenuously on its back.
"No, nothing like that. He gave me some news I wasn't ready for, and I just went crazy, I guess."
"You aren't ill, I hope?"
"Gosh, no. It sounds so stupid when I think about it now, but I had contact from a member of my family."
Comprehension dawned on Lila's face and she nodded wisely.
"I see. Dare I ask what the content of the conversation was?"
Aaron shrugged non-comittally. "It was a message from my mother. I didn't listen to it."
"Why not?"
"What is there to say? I'm not going to get a grovelling apology about what happened, am I? They think I'm sick, I think they're wrong. It's a no-win situation."
Lila leant back, folding her arms under her breasts.
"So do you think she was calling you to tell you that?"
Aaron shrugged.
"I don't know, and right now, I don't care. I've got something better, more meaningful now. I have a job, somewhere to live, somebody who…who loves me. What do I need from them now?"
Any reply from Lila was cut off by the sound of her cellphone ringing.
"I'm so sorry. You must excuse me; I have to take this."
Aaron shook his head, "No, not at all. I'd better get back anyway."
Lila brushed a strand of hair behind her ear and stood, handbag once more in place on her shoulder. As she turned to walk away, finger poised to answer the call, she turned her head and called, "Don't be so quick to condemn your mother, Aaron; there are two sides to every story."
The machine blinked at him as he glared at it intently. Tentatively he reached his hand toward it and pressed the button down.
He'd replayed it about five times, and every time he heard something different. This time Aaron had noticed the panicked hitch of breath when the footsteps approached, just before the phone went down.
He ground the heels of his hands into his eyes, exhaling slowly through his nose. His head was beginning to feel like the pins at the end of a bowling alley, and the weight of the past few hurtful, wonderful, confusing months was pressing down on his chest, and even the simple act of breathing seemed too much.
"Hey." Said Christian from the doorway, and Aaron thought he nodded in acknowledgement. "I…I wanted to say I'm sorry if I pushed you yesterday. She's your mom, and you gotta do what you gotta do."
The answering shudder of breath from Aaron was obviously enough to raise Christian's suspicions, and he took a step into the room, fingers twitching slightly.
"You okay?"
Not really, Aaron thought, and he tried to shrug casually, but suddenly his shoulders were shaking and a lump the size of a baseball kept trying to rise in his throat and this was all just stupid.
He didn't pull away when he felt Christian's arms go about him, and a warm nose press up against his temple.
"Hey, come on. I hate it when you cry. I know I'm an asshole sometimes, but I don't want…"
"No, no, it isn't you." Aaron said, furiously swiping at his eyes, "I listened to the message."
Against the fine hairs of his ear he heard the soft hmmm of understanding from Christian, and the arms tightened a little, while lips took little pecks at his cheekbones.
The reassurance was almost more than Aaron could bear, and turning toward Christian he captured his lips; teeth pulling at the skin and hands clutching at his neck. Christian froze; caught by surprise, but quickly recovered, shifting closer still, grabbing at strong arms clad in blue cotton.
The fire in Aaron's belly that had been well and truly doused by the stress of the past couple of weeks flickered to life, and he wanted nothing more than to show his so called family that whatever they thought, he and Christian weren't fags or fairies, or any of those shame-inducing names. I'm as strong as any of you.
Pulling back as suddenly as he'd approached, Aaron reached up to pull his loosened tie off completely, fumbling for his buttons. Christian's eyes widened, and a delighted grin bloomed across his face. Without waiting for him to second guess it, Christian's shirt also left his pants, and he wasted no time pressing Aaron downdowndown into the cushions and running his fingers softlysoftlysoft down his emerging torso.
"I want you." Aaron murmured against Christian's fingers as they traced his lips, and breathed in a little gasp of pleasure at the sight of Christian's dilating pupils.
"You have no idea how much I love hearing that."
Aaron laughed a little breathlessly and reached up to cup Christian's face in his palm, stroking gently.
"I always think it, even I don't tell you. Sometimes you're all I can think about in the office…"
Christian smiled, a hint of red stealing across the skin of his cheeks.
"Hmmm, I never had you down as having a dirty talker…"
Rolling his eyes, Aaron reached up to pull Christian down for another kiss.
"Shut up." he whispered against his mouth, and Christian shuddered, teeth pulling at the skin of his lower lip. Swinging his leg back over Aaron's body, he knelt down by the couch and kissed away the little pout of surprise and disappointment.
"You wanna take this somewhere else?"
Aaron met Christian's eyes and grinned.
"Sounds good to me."
I hope you all liked it. In many ways this isn't perfect, and I daresay it never will be. Still, if you liked it please r/r.
p.s. Also, because I've got one of those sorts of brains, would anybody be at all interested in knowing what exactly happens after this? If you are, I can write a little one-shot and put it under an M rating so as not to upset anybody who doesn't like that. If not, that's fine with me.