Chapter 5

A lot of Lu's time was now spent looking at her family. From her home in Forks she'd sort of taken that family picture. The one of all of them happy, hanging off each other, just moved in. While she always planned that after six months she would move, it had been only one weeks into the fifth when she decided she couldn't take her life in San Francisco any more.

She hadn't intended to make this decision, either, but Andrew was coming over and it just hit her like a ton of bricks that this had to end. It was sad, breaking up with someone one week after their birthday, but she had to do it. When he let himself in, she almost didn't hear it, focusing on the family picture she'd framed.

Still she hadn't jumped when he wrapped his arms around her from behind as she sat on the couch. "Is that your family?" He asked.

They still hadn't talked about it. She avoided it like an expert by talking about his and his birthday more frequently.

"Yeah. I found this picture when I went home." Lu put it down.

But Andrew picked it back up when he came around the couch to sit next to her. "Who are they all?"

She took it back, holding it but pointing out the people. "That's Esme and Carlisle. Our parents – we're all adopted." Then she pointed out the two blondes. "Rosalie and Jasper are twins and they are related to Esme, so when their parents died it was only natural that they took them in. Alice was a foster kid, but Edward was Carlisle's first foster kid until he adopted them both.

She pointed to Emmett and went with the lie they told everyone. "Emmett is my cousin, or second cousin, I'm not sure. He was already adopted by them so when my parents died he was all I really had so they took me in as well. I'm the newest, and the last."

"What about Bella? The girl in the car accident."

It slipped her mind and the girl's name made her stiffen. "She's actually a girlfriend, not family, but it was tough on my siblings. They're… close."

"It's a big family." He commented. "How come you never told me about them? It seems like a lot to leave out."

"I was already seventeen when they adopted me so I was barely with them and it seemed less important to mention it." She lied further. It was second nature now. Lying to Andrew was the easiest thing she'd ever done.

He hugged her close and didn't notice her not reciprocating. "So what do you want to do tonight, honey?"

She hated being called honey and slowly shrugged him off. "I actually have to talk to you." Lu admitted. "And it's pretty important."

"Of course." He agreed but didn't catch the seriousness of her tone if his partial smile was anything to go by.

Lu felt a sliver of guilt, but more relieved than anything as she came up with the words. How awful did that make her?

"Going home made me realize what I did when I left and how hard life here is without them." She began. "There's nothing in San Francisco for me save for you, and that's been great but my life isn't here."

That made him frown, finally. It may be the first time she'd ever seen him serious. "But what about your writing job?"

"I can write anywhere, and frankly I'm not that great at it." She told him in amusement, then felt awful for thinking it funny. "Andrew, I'm really sorry. I guess I kept a lot from you because I knew I could never stay here. There's really a lot you don't know, the more I think about it, and that's not a relationship that you deserve."

"What else is there? Lu, there's nothing you could say that could make me stop loving you." He tried to plea to her.

She shook her head. "Andrew, it doesn't matter. Even if you accept it all, I can't stay here. You know no matter how much you've said it, I've never told you I love you. And while I care about you plenty, it's not enough to make me forget who I am. I need to go home."

He looked devastated, more like she'd just told him he had two weeks to live rather than break up with him. Andrew ran his hands over his face, taking a long moment. Lu couldn't bring herself to say anything else, waiting on him.

"So, five months and you just want to end it?" He questioned airily. "You don't even want to try long distance? Or anything? You're just done with me."

Lu wet her lips and looked away. "It's not like that. I just know better than to assume it'd work. I am not the marrying kind." Mostly, though there was one person she'd marry over and over, if things were different. "You are. And you're perfect. A thousand other women who don't lie and want to settle down will love you, but I'm not one of them."

He stood suddenly and paced a few steps before turning around. "I need to think. Just- Lu, let me call you tomorrow and we'll work through this."

"No." She denied softly. "Nothing will change. I'm leaving in a matter of days."

"Leaving for where? I don't even know where they live or what their last name is!" He rambled. "How can I talk to you? Why can't I convince you to stay?"

"It's best if you know nothing, and you can't convince me to stay because I'm stubborn and annoying." Lu claimed. "Andrew, you should go now. I have a lot to do."

He let out a disappointed sound before gathering his coat and leaving the way he came. Lu waited until she could pin point him at his own home before she got up. Instantly, she disconnected her home phone and started to pack. It was a decent life, being away, but apparently she wasn't as made for it as she assumed.

It took two days to pack. In that time Andrew called her cell a dozen times at the least and came over once. She'd sat in the dark ignoring his knocking for a while, knowing it was locked and he had no key. It took five minutes for him to give up.

Then when it came time to decide to go, she was stilled in the process. Everyone asked her back and said they missed her but her reason for leaving remained wordless. And now Edward was dating a human girl – at least, he probably still was. There were other places she could go if she couldn't stomach it. The Denali clan liked her well enough, or she could catch up with Peter and Charlotte, though that might mean a change in diet.

As she debated fifty other ways to move forward, Lu knew it wasn't even about her own hesitance. She wanted to go home not for Edward or anything more than herself and Rose. What held her back, however, was that man. How would he react?

All her boxes ready to be shipped or thrown out, Lu dialled a number that hadn't been rung in a year. It went through, chirped three times, and then picked up with a slow click.

"You're the last person I expected to call me." Edward spoke softly.

She was chewing her fingernail but stopped to check the clock. He'd be in school, third period. He probably stepped out into the hall to take this call, which explained the three rings when she'd never had to wait more than one before.

"Sorry for the bad timing." She apologized, closing her eyes as she focused on her grid. She did in fact place his just outside his classroom door.

"I had the sound on so I had to say it was Carlisle's hospital." He spoke in an amused tone. "Nobody else would call me."

Lu smiled. Of course the kids only ever got calls from other Cullens. Anyone else, from an outside coven or due to business, would call Carlisle or Esme. "What class?"

"Calculus." He claimed. "Lu, we both know you're not calling to talk about my math class. As much as I love to hear your voice, is there something wrong?"

She shook her head even though he couldn't see. "No, it's not like that. I… Can I come home?" Her voice sounded weak and shocking even to her own ears.

There was a pause but she could hear him walking down the hall as well as see it on her grid. He was getting away from the class to talk more. "Lu, you know that when you left Carlisle told you that you could always come back. You have a life here."

"My life there sort of fell to bits, though, didn't it?" She commented.

"That will always be my fault, and just because things changed doesn't mean it's gone." Edward spoke with promise and gently. "But why ask me? I'd think I'm the last person whose approval you'd want."

A hand ran through her light hair. "It's not about approval. I don't want to come if not everyone accepts it, and after my visit and what I did I didn't think you'd like me coming back."

"You just want to know I'm okay, then."

"In a way."

He took in a slow, unnecessary breath. "I miss you. I don't care how much Rose claims it – I've missed you more than anyone else. I know that… Bella: she complicates things, but I could not for the life of me tell you why this is happening. So don't come back for me because I have no clue what I'm doing with myself, but come back because we all love and miss you."

It was as good as it gets. Lu smiled to herself, her knees pressed into her chest as she curled around herself.

"Lu?" Edward questioned in her silence. "How are you? I never asked you honestly how things were; just infiltrated your mind."

"I'm actually decent, just not as good as I thought I'd be at living alone." She answered. "When Rose visited me and we talked all night it sort of reminded me what I'd lost. She asked me to come home and I haven't stopped thinking about it since."

"So you will?"

There was nothing else to hold her back. "Soon. I have to fake some papers for school transfer and tell Carlisle. Two, three days at the latest."

"And knowing you, I'm not telling anyone so it'll be a surprise." He mocked her.

That was exactly her style, actually. "Thank you." She said, referring to something else. "I think I needed to talk to you."

"We used to always talk. For a few weeks after you left I kept forgetting you were gone and say your name. The entire house pitied me."

"We can go back to that. The friendship bit, while you try and discover yourself, because admittedly I have no damn clue what I'm going to do either."

"Oh yeah?"

"Yes. I just hid in my own apartment from my now ex-boyfriend while he knocked for five minutes and I have to go back from Lucy to Columbia on top of returning to high school for the fourth time." She explained. "I don't understand how our lives never change and yet it gets harder."

Edward gave a chuckle. "You'll find it easier, even as monotonous as a dreamless sleep, in maybe another twenty years."

"That is undoubtedly the most unhelpful thing you've ever told me." She complained. "Go back to class. I'll see you in a few days."

"You have three before I file a missing persons report."

She rolled her eyes. "Bye." They both hung up and that amusement fell away.

She still, incredibly, loved him.

And Edward truly didn't tell anyone that she was coming. Carlisle arranged her transfer and she shipped her few things off that she wanted before taking the rest to donate somewhere and travelled home. Nobody knew but the mind reader and their father.

This became eternally apparent when she stepped into Forks High School midday. He transfer would be finalized by Monday, but it being Friday she just wanted to visit and no teacher would mind. She used to go there after all.

She arrived at lunch due to careful planning and a little bit of waiting outside. That way when she walked into the cafeteria all her siblings would already be there. Lu missed one thing that she had never liked before – the Cullen flair. Dressing nicely and being stared at solely for her name which sort of made walking into a room dramatic and empowering. Which it very much was as she stepped in wearing a short dress from San Francisco, a long coat, and heeled boots.

The whispers began in an instant and she had to pull back her grin slightly as she set her sights on the usual table in the corner. The first two to look up were Edward and Alice, who both seemed to expect it, likely because of a vision. Then Rose, Emmett, and Jasper turned along with the rest of the student body.

She couldn't stop the grin anymore when Rose jumped up with a gleeful little shriek that most likely didn't hear. They walked quickly to each other and came together in the tightest embrace they'd ever shared. Lu kissed the blonde's cheek as she pulled back.

"Is this for good?" Rose asked hopefully, holding her arms.

"Oh yeah." She agreed vigorously. Her friend looked about ready to sob as she gave a laugh. "I can't make it without you."

Rose pulled her to the table just like that. She hugged all the others just like when she visited, not even reacting when Emmett lifted her off the ground. The last in this line was Edward. He stood up from his seat and gave her a small smile before wrapping her in his arms. Lu hugged back, sighing softly and just thinking about how much she hoped this was the right choice.

It suddenly didn't feel like it when she could see Bella over Edward's shoulder, at a table with Jessica and Mike and that group, almost glaring. Right, they had their spat. Ignoring it, Lu pulled back from the hug and rapped her knuckles on the table top.

"I'll be right back."

She went over to the table Bella occupied. Not for her, but for the group. Hands shoved deep into her pockets where she had hand warmers, she prepared for any hand shake/high five/fist bump that they threw at her. The moment she stepped up, Eric put his fist out and she immediately reacted, having everyone's attention but Bella's.

"How's it going?" She asked them with a smile. She was the only Cullen, for the most part, that socialized because she understood how to do it and keep everyone very distant.

"Uh, awesome?" Eric told her like it should be obvious. "If you're coming back for good then this is going to be front page news, you know? I might need an interview."

"Come Monday, and it's yours. At least minor details – there's too much to go over for your paper to handle." She teased. "And a little quid pro quo might be appreciated. I feel like I missed a lot and I want to hear all your best headlines this school year."

He scoffed, waving a hand in the air. "No problem! I've got you covered."

"Perfect. Hey, has anyone seen JT?" JT was a boy a year below her who was deaf. They used to sit together often and sign because she was possibly the only one in school who knew, but he was more important than just a friend. "I haven't been able to place him and I want to say hey."

But their reactions were suddenly dark, save for the confused Bella who looked at their faces as Lu did. A rock hit the bottom of her stomach, heavy and foreboding. She heard a chair scrape back in the direction of the Cullen table but waited for an answer rather than look.

"Uh, Lu, JT sort of had a mental break at the end of last summer." Jessica answered delicately, the kindest anyone had ever heard her voice.

Mike ruffled his hair and gave her the real bad news. "He, um, he stole his mother's car and got into a really bad wreck driving towards Seattle. He didn't make it."

She felt her still heart break and her shoulders shake. All she wanted to do was run away but as she turned it was a surprise when it was Emmett who grabbed her. He led her at a kind pace out of the cafeteria as she was racked with dry, quiet sobs.

Bella hadn't seen anyone look that broken in all her life, but it didn't stop her from being a little angry. However, she curiously turned to her friends. "Who's JT?"

They still seemed awkwardly sympathetic. Angela answered. "He was a freshman last year. They were friends, I think. She spent a lot of her time with him."

"Maybe they were dating." Bella offered lightly. At least it would get Lu away from Edward.

"No, I don't think it was like that." Tyler shook his head. "The guy was deaf. I don't know if she knew sign language or learned it but all of a sudden they're talking, or whatever you want to call it. It was just nice."

"Can we change the subject?" Jessica asked uncomfortably. "I was like officially over his death like forever ago but it gives me a creepy feeling to think about it."

They didn't mention it again. At least, not at the table. Once the bell rang and they were going to class, Bella went about finding Edward before they were stuck in Biology. He was just outside the door with Emmett. She got near enough to hear the end of their conversation.

"Is she alright?" Edward asked.

Emmett gave a nod. "Yeah, she's cool. Rose is taking her to the cemetery and then hunting. You know how it is."

Bella's boyfriend gave a nod and the brother left. She walked over and Edward forced a small smile, but she could tell he wasn't all there.

"What was that, at lunch?" She asked. "And now Lu's suddenly back? I thought she was gone for good."

He places a cold hand on her arm, making them step off to the side. "She's a Cullen, she's never going to be gone for good. And I knew she was coming back days ago." He addressed first.

"But what's the deal with JT? I thought you guys didn't care about people that way."

With clenched teeth he looked not only defensive, but upset. "You don't understand." Edward told her. "Growing up, Lu's best friend was her cousin, and JT was his son. Everyone else died and JT was the last living member of her family and Carlisle did all he could to have his foster parents move here so he could treat him, so Lu could know him. She has every right to mourn."

Bella was awed that Lu was technically still young but everyone had died so soon after she was turned. "Then how come nobody told her when it happened?" She wondered, not that she would sympathise for the girl who was so rude to her.

"At the time, I thought she was never coming back. I didn't want to break her heart when she was already upset."

That was the definitive end of the conversation because Edward turned and walked into the classroom before she could ask anything more.