Tara paced back and forth in front of her bedroom window, waiting for Jax to return. He would change his mind. He had to. It had been a crazy day and emotions were running high. That's all it was. He would realize how insane the idea that he wasn't good enough for her was, and he would come back.

But what if he didn't? The more time that passed, the more worried Tara became that Jax's words weren't idle threats. What if he meant it all? She felt sick to her stomach. She'd cried so much and for so long that her eyes were red and puffy, her nose swollen, and her throat raw. What if what he really meant was that she wasn't good enough for him, and that he no longer wanted to be burdened with some goody-two-shoes masquerading as a biker's girlfriend? That made more sense than anything else.

Tara sat down on the edge of her bed and closed her eyes, taking deep, uneven breaths. Think. She remembered the look on Jax's face as he ended their relationship- the deep pain in his eyes. No, he truly believed that he'd ruined and corrupted her, and that if she stayed with him, she would regret it. She had to show him that wasn't true. She had to do something- something big.

With shaking hands, she reached for the phone on her nightstand. She could page Jax again, but he wouldn't respond. She could call his house, but Gemma would most likely answer. And if Gemma knew about Tara's fight at school, she'd be furious with her for causing trouble for Jax. Like Gemma really needed another reason to dislike her. Instead, she dialed a number that she'd only called a couple times before.

Donna picked up on the first ring. "Hello?"

"Donna, it's Tara. I need your help."

The sun was just starting to set as Tara and Donna pulled up to an apartment building on the east side of town. Tara parked her dad's car in a nearby alley, in the off chance that he'd reported it stolen. Hopefully, he was too drunk to notice that she, and it, was gone.

"So this is where Bobby Elvis lives?" she mused. The building was old, but not run down- red brick with white trim, with identical windows in dozens of neat rows. In the center of the building was a set of glass double doors. Sitting on the stoop outside of them was Bobby, staring up at the clouds and smoking something that likely was not a cigarette.

Donna grabbed the small brown bag sitting beside her and stuffed it in her purse before getting out of the car. Tara pretended not to notice. Donna had asked her to stop at a pharmacy on the way to Bobby's place, but insisted on going inside alone. After a few minutes, she came out with a small paper sack clutched tightly to her chest. She didn't tell Tara what was in it, but Tara had an idea.

"Ladies," Bobby crooned, giving them both big, creepy hugs. One whiff of his earthly scent confirmed that he definitely wasn't smoking a cigarette. "We ready to get crackin'?" Tara smiled, nodding excitedly. She should have been more nervous, but she was too determined.

The inside of Bobby's apartment was much smaller than Tara expected, but the décor was spot-on what she'd pictured. She felt as if she'd stepped into the 1970s. She took a seat on a red velvet sofa against the back wall of the living room. Donna sat down beside her.

"I got my tools all set up in the kitchen," Bobby said. "Who's goin' first?" Tara stood up.

"I'm not doing it today, Bobby. I told you that on the phone," Donna reminded him.

"Alright, alright," he chuckled. He turned to Tara. "You sure about this, Doc?" He began calling her "Doc" soon after she told him about her desire to go to medical school. It made her feel a little silly, but it was nice that he had such confidence in her.

Tara sighed, smiling. "I'm sure. It won't hurt too badly, will it?"

"Not too bad," Bobby assured her.

Bobby Elvis was a liar. Tara wiped tears from her eyes, the skin on her lower back on fire. Her teeth hurt from her clenching them together so tightly, and she had indentations in the palms of her hands from balling them into fists for so long. It was over, but she still felt as if she was being attacked by a thousand hornets with stingers of steel.

Bobby was outside smoking again, and Donna had been in the bathroom for an oddly long amount of time. Impatient, Tara knocked on the door.

"You alright in there?" Bobby's only full-sized mirror was in the bathroom, and Tara couldn't wait to put it to use.

"Come in," Donna said, sounding like she'd been crying. Tara slowly turned the knob and pushed open the door. Donna was using the toilet as a chair, the lid down, and had her elbows resting on her knees, her face held up by her hands.

"Everything okay?" Tara tried not to look at the small white stick sitting on the counter near the sink, but Donna made no attempt to hide it.

"It's not the flu." Donna's voice broke, and she buried her face in her hands. Sometimes, Tara hated being right. This was one of those times.

"I had a feeling," she said, resting a comforting hand on Donna's back. "Is there anything I can do?" Donna looked up at her, her eyes full of tears.

"Just don't tell Jax, okay? Don't tell anybody."

Tara nodded. "Of course." Donna pressed her hands to her face and took a deep breath, wiping away her tears, stretching her skin far out to the sides in the process. Under different circumstances, Tara might have laughed.

"Aaaaaaah," Donna half sighed, half screamed. "Okay, let's see it. How's it look?

Tara positioned herself in front of the mirror on the back of the bathroom door, turning around. She lifted up her shirt and craned her neck around so that she could see her reflection. On the small of her back was a black crow, its wings outstretched, holding two arrows in its talons, with a heart around its neck and a scroll across its midsection that said, "FOREVER." Forever. It certainly was.

"Bad ass," Donna laughed, her voice lighter. Tara beamed with pride.

"I'm an old lady," she said, mostly to herself.

"And I'm pregnant," Donna added. The two girls locked eyes in the mirror. They were stuck together for life now.

Tara shifted uncomfortably behind the steering wheel, trying to keep her back from touching the seat. Bobby had given her some Ibuprofen, so what was once a searing pain was more of a dull ache now. She'd dropped Donna off at home after promising she would keep her secret no less than a hundred times. Jax's house was just around the corner. It was time to put phase two of her plan into action.

She parked a couple of houses down from Jax's and snuck to his bedroom window, the same way he'd done at her house earlier in the day. She prayed Gemma wouldn't catch her. That was about the worst thing she could imagine. There were lights on throughout the house, but Jax's room was dark. She looked at her watch. 10:00. He either wasn't home, or went to bed uncharacteristically early. She hoped the latter was true.

She knocked lightly on the window, which was closed. She squinted through the sheer curtains, looking for any signs of movement. Nothing. She knocked again. After a minute or two, she saw someone rise from the bed. She smiled. She'd know that silhouette anywhere.

Jax stumbled to the window, rubbing his hands sleepily over his face. He was still fully clothed. It appeared his early bedtime wasn't planned. His brow furrowed when he saw Tara. He pushed open the window.

"The hell you doing here?" he grumbled. "What time is it?"

"It's only 10:00, Jax."

That took his outrage down a peg. "Oh."

"And I need to talk to you."

"Tara…" It was more of a sigh than a word.

She crossed her arms. "I'm not leaving, Jax. You said your piece, now it's my turn to say mine." Exhausted and dejected, Jax looked in no mood to fight. He reached one arm out to Tara and easily pulled her into his room. They were close for a moment, and she had the urge to hug him, but he backed away too quickly. He shuffled back to his bed and plopped down. "May I sit?" she asked.

"Sure."

Tara seated herself beside him, but not too close. She felt an ache in her chest. She didn't like the space between them, physical or otherwise. "Gemma here?"

"No. She's out celebrating with her new fiancée," Jax said coldly.

"Her what?!" Tara was just as suspicious of Gemma and Clay as Jax was, but she didn't see that coming.

"Don't wanna talk about it." Jax set his jaw, closing the subject.

"So," she began. "I thought about everything you said, and I understand why you feel the way you do. But I want you to know, it's complete and utter bullshit." She kept her voice strong, even though her resolve was wavering. There was still a part of her, not as small as she would have liked, that was afraid Jax's true motive behind breaking up with her was that he simply didn't want her anymore, but was trying to let her down gently.

"What?" Jax's voice was still heavy with sleep. He yawned, stretching his arms above his head. Tara admired the way his muscles flexed and bulged as he moved. She cleared her throat, determined not to lose her train of thought.

"I said it's bullshit. Your logic that if I stay with you, all I'll ever be is an old lady, is based solely on the fact that the title 'old lady' defines the rest of them, right?" She didn't wait for an answer. "But most of those women were crow eaters at one point. Which means that their goal in life was to become old ladies. That's all they are, because that's all they ever wanted to be."

"Wait, what?" Jax's face contorted in confusion. He was not awake enough, and Tara was talking too fast.

"I'm going to be a doctor," she said. "It's going to happen. Being with you is not going to stop me, because I would never let it. And neither would you. Maybe I went a little off the rails, and I'm sorry. It's just…this is all new to me. And it's crazy. Like, 'I gotta be with you every minute or I'm gonna kill myself' crazy. But today was a wake-up call. I do need to put my focus back on school, but I can do that and still be with you. I can handle both. The only thing I can't handle is if you leave me. So don't. Please."

"Tara…" Jax was awake now, and his eyes were fixed on hers. He looked conflicted- which was good, because it meant his position was changeable, but bad, because it meant she hadn't convinced him yet. And she'd already used everything she had. Well, almost. "We can't…?" He worded it almost like a question.

"Why?" Tara choked back a sob. "Why not, Jax? Unless…" she closed her eyes, unable to look at him as she said the words. She was too embarrassed.

"Unless what?"

"Unless that's not the real reason. Unless you really just don't want me. Which, well, I guess I can't do anything about that." She could feel the hotness in her cheeks, the shame in her posture. Jax began to laugh, digging the knife in deeper.

"Is that what you think?" His voice was sharp, almost angry. "Tell me you don't really believe that. Tara, I lo…I love being with you." The fact that he stopped himself mid-sentence was not lost on Tara. Was he about to tell her he loved her? "But I know how this plays out. Something's gonna happen and you're gonna wind up stuck here." Tara's thoughts shifted to Donna. She averted her eyes from Jax's, hoping he didn't see. "And then you're gonna wind up hating me, this town, the club…I don't want that. You need to get out while you still can." Now. Do it now. Tara obeyed the voice in her head. She stood up, her back to Jax, and took a deep breath.

"Something already happened," she said. She lifted up her shirt, revealing her fresh tattoo. Jax inhaled sharply through his teeth. Tara smiled. It was sort of breathtaking. Bobby did great work.

"What. The. Hell. Is. That." Each word was its own sentence. Jax was definitely surprised, but not in a good way. "Tara, what did you do?!" He jumped up from the bed and grabbed her by the arm, spinning her around. Her eyes went wide, her heart in her throat. She'd never seen him like this before. "You got a tattoo?! Who did it? Bobby? I'm going to kick his ass!"

"Jax, I-" The words stuck in her throat, which was nearly swollen shut. "I just wanted to show you that I'm here. I'm not going anywhere."

"That tattoo is for old ladies, Tara. You are not my old lady. I'm not even an official member yet!"

"But you will be," Tara protested quietly. "And when you are, I'll be there with you. I'm going to be your old lady, Jax. It's what I want. You're what I want." They were standing nose to nose. Tara could feel Jax's breath on her face, but there was nothing intimate about their closeness. He leaned into her, leaving no space between them. His hand was still clenched tightly around her arm. If he squeezed much harder, it would leave a bruise.

"Oh, this is what you want? Is it? You wanna be an old lady? You wanna pledge your life, at sixeen, to me, to this club?" The harshness in Jax's voice sent chills down Tara's spine.

"Stop it, Jax!" she insisted, false bravery in her tone. She couldn't let him know she was frightened. It was what he wanted, to scare her away. It wouldn't work.

"Old ladies don't mouth off to their men," Jax said. "If you want to be one, I suggest you learn your place." With her free hand, Tara slapped him across the face. It surprised her as much as it did him. He pressed his body into hers, pinning her against the wall. He kissed her, a hard, angry kiss. Even though she was afraid, she kissed him back. He let go of her arm, moving his hands to the collar of her shirt. The buttons gave way easily as he tugged from both sides, exposing Tara's bare flesh.

Goosebumps began to rise on her stomach and chest as Jax moved his lips to her neck, kissing hungrily. Tara grabbed two handfuls of his hair, twisting and pulling it as she pushed against him, biting his lower lip, almost too hard. She matched his aggression, move for move. He lifted her up with a heated grunt. She wrapped her legs around his waist, ignoring the tight pull of the raw skin on her back. He carried her to the bed, tossing her into the center with ease. He climbed onto the bed and stalked toward her, predatory. He paused, hovering over her, watching the rise and fall of her nearly bare breasts as she took labored, nervous breaths.

The fire in his eyes began to dissipate, his expression changing. He lowered his face to hers, slowly.

"Tara," he breathed. He was back. He reached one gentle hand to her face, brushing his knuckles against her cheekbone.

"Jax," she whispered, breathless. "I love you." He kissed her again, this time softer and with more emotion. He slid his hands to her back, unhooking her bra. Tara shivered involuntarily, arching her back toward Jax. She held her breath as he unbuttoned her jeans, the fabric rubbing against her raw skin.

"Sorry," he murmured. "I forgot." With careful hands, he slid Tara's jeans off, admiring her naked legs. She almost always wore long pants, so he very rarely got to see them. He pulled off his shirt, and then unbuckled his belt and let his jeans and his boxers fall to the floor. Tara was suddenly very aware that she and Jax were both completely naked. She wasn't sure where to focus her eyes. On his face. Definitely on his face.

"Hi," he said softly, smiling as he kissed her.

"Hi," she replied, her voice rough.

"You sure you wanna do this?" he asked. She nodded. "You nervous?" She nodded again. He took her hand and pressed it to his heart. He kissed her again, this time pushing his body against hers, his leg between her thighs. She tried not to worry about what was going to happen, and instead focus on what was happening- Jax's lips on her neck, her collarbone, her chest; his hands sliding down her torso, between her legs. When he touched her, she gasped. The sensation was foreign and erotic at the same time.

She ran her fingernails up and down his back, memorizing the contour of each muscle. She tasted the salty skin on his neck, and drank in the sight of his glorious body. He moved against her slowly, pushing her legs further and further apart. He placed one hand on each side of her head, using his arms to support his weight. His legs were between hers now, and she could feel his impressive girth against her.

She knew she should be afraid, but her body ached to have Jax inside her. She craved him. Needed him. Slowly, carefully, he eased himself inside of her. She dug her nails into his shoulders, waiting for the pain she was always told accompanied the first time. There was an unfamiliar pressure at first, then a warmth that spread outward from deep within her belly, everywhere, everywhere. No pain. Only ecstasy. She gasped, matching her rhythm to Jax's as she rocked her hips back and forth.

"You okay?" he asked, still moving with caution, as if she were a china doll and he was about to break her.

"Mmmhmmm," she moaned, pulling him toward her so that she could feel his lips on hers. He pushed deeper inside her, occupying a space she didn't know existed. She tilted her head back, exposing the delicate skin under her chin. Jax grazed it with his teeth. Tara shuddered.

"I love you," Jax whispered, his lips against her ear. He loved her. She knew that now. And as he climaxed, letting out a long, low growl, she knew that nothing would ever come between them again.