"He's at the arcade," she repeated in disbelief. "Robots marching around the city killing people and he's playing Tekken."

The bugs gave her a blank look, obviously missing her clever pop culture reference. She sighed. "Where is this `arcade?'"

"I'll show you."

Smoky got up, leading her through the sludge to a raised area branching off in a series of tunnels.

As her feet squished unpleasantly on the spongy surface, she became frustrated at her barefootedness. "Where are my shoes?"

The bug opened the cover on a cubbyhole set in the wall, handing her a pair of neon orange crocs.

She frowned. "No thanks. I was wearing tennis shoes when I came here."

The bug gave her a shrug. "The coverings for your feet were filthy and worn looking. We placed them in a material recycler along with your clothing."

"You recycled my clothes!" she shouted.

"Where do you think we got your outfit from?"

"Of course," said Otvaqna. "We did have to stretch the material with our body silks..."

Kaluki blanched. "Body...silks? From where?"

Smoky pointed to a wall and a string of webbing spewed out. "Your people make vests out of worm and spider silk. Ours is much finer and stronger."

She shuddered. "I guess it'll have to do."

The mention of silk caused her to look inside her kimono. What she saw made her face take on a cherry mahogany tint. "What the hell is this!"

"It's called a `teddy'. I thought it appropriate sleeping attire for humans," said Otvaqna. "You like it?"

"No!" she cried, tugging the neckline closed. "It's creepy!"

More blank looks.

"I don't understand. I have seen many pictures of humans wearing those."

Another shudder passed through her body. "Never mind."

She put on the crocs, following the bug through a convoluted white tunnel reminiscent of the tubes in an ant farm. After walking a few yards in this bewildering hive, she found herself in a five tiered complex that looked like a combination between a mall and a mushroom forest. The only note of familiarity was the skylight overlooking the swirling planet, and to her its meaning as a landmark was as significant as a nondescript McDonalds in McDonaldland.

She frowned at the parade of strange creatures, goat people with eyes in their mouths instead of their faces, deer people, bat people with pet floating jellyfish, a character that looked like Shamu in a robe.

In such a sea of weirdness, nobody seemed to care what she was wearing. The creatures stared at her with the same kind of mild interest an Arab might have when seeing a Texan with a ten gallon hat at an airport.

Without warning, her guide stepped behind her, wrapping two arms around her chest and two around her waist, its third set of arms supporting her seat in a way that made her feel violated.

"Hey!" she shouted. "Keep your grubby pincers to yourself!"

"Apologies," Smoky said. "But our expedient method of transport requires you to overcome certain physical contact phobias."

"Ugh!" she cried. "Just shut up and let go of me!"

"If you knew what I was about to embark upon, asking me to release you would be the last thing you'd want to do."

"What?"

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw something silvery and thin exploding from the creature's back, then they were airborne.

To Kaluki, it felt like being pulled across a zip cord above a circus. The freak show part of the circus.

A moment later, she was zooming over a balcony on one of the tall mushroom things, descending on a crowded landing full of machines with flat computer monitors equipped with a wide assortment of peripherals.

Rodent creatures pushed buttons on some of the machines with the dull expression you generally saw on video poker players. Armored rhinos engaged in sword battles with robotic sparring partners, and a green furry woman ran through a painful looking obstacle course that bore a striking resemblance to Nintendo platform games.

Kaluki followed the bug through this noisy, distracting chaos, across a flashing dance floor full of fast dancing three eyed lemurs, ignoring the holographic instructors and rapidly moving bird and insect footprints they were coached to step on.

She bumped into a hairy blue thing that looked like Cousin Itt from the Addams Family, causing it to gibber at her angrily. She apologized, but it didn't help. She kept going.

She found IT Guy standing inside a long glass room with a glowing white floor, aiming a shiny oddly shaped gun at one of those metal robots that had been chasing her earlier. Cybermen.

The sloth-like man casually fired at the thing, which seemed to be marching at half the speed she was used to seeing them move. The shots did nothing.

Although she hesitated outside the box, the bug was indifferent, opening an automatic sliding door on the far end.

"Is it safe?" Kaluki asked.

"We wouldn't keep a real Cyberman in there."

Breathing a sigh of relief, she marched in, frowning at her slack jawed acquaintance.

She put both hands on her hips. "What are you doing!"

He gave her an impassive sideways glance. "Stuff."

He turned his head. "Nice outfit."

"Shut up."