And now the thrilling conclusion, except this time, it's for real. Well probably. There's always the chance that I'll put up another chapter if I'm feeling particularly self-loathing in the future.
I mean, seriously, there is no coherence in any of this. It's to be expected I suppose, I am just stringing together a bunch of unrelated Omegle chat logs in fan fic form, but sweet Sera Gamble, is it awful or what?
(The only acceptable answer is a resounding "Yes. Hell Yes. Hell Fucking Yes.")
"Your conversation partner has disconnected," noted Dean wryly.
Sam raised an eyebrow disbelievingly. Surely this couldn't be the case. He had only started talked to Dean.
"But Dean, we need to deal with Castiel's new plan to redo his old plan."
"Your conversation partner has disconnected."
"Dean, don't you even care that Castiel is going to re-open Purgatory? What he lets something else out and we have to fight both Leviathans and something else, like Behemoths? Sure they'll probably all take human form because every monster we fight takes human form for budget reasons, but what if it's really powerful despite said human form?"
"Tl; dr," scoffed Dean.
"Your conversation partner has disconnected," retaliated Sam.
"You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!"
"Your conversational partner has disconnected."
"Start a new conversation."
Castiel marched down the hall, pulling off an impressive goose-step. North Korea would have been proud of him.
Eventually he ran into the angel he had been looking for, the brilliant but incredibly foreign Alcatrazazazazazazazael. Cas just called him Alcatraz for short.
"Alcatraz, I need your help to open up Purgatory again," Castiel blurted loudly.
"I don't know what you think in both the recently launched," pouted Alcatraz in the strange garbled English he always spoke. Castiel could only guess he was a little confused.
"Look Alcatraz, it worked great last time except for the fact I had too many souls in me. Like that one time in Sodom before… you know. Anyway, I think without the Leviathans all up in my business, I could control it this time."
Alcatraz sighed heavily.
"I fear, not being allowed to attend school. Another see célebres Vice President. All criminal law, Democrats, Republicans have horses Griffin, Licorne, Assistant production and Dementors. I am convince terror it."
Castiel stared blankly at the angel.
"You… fear not being allowed to attend school? But you've never showed an interest in learning until now. Unless you're finally trying to learn English?"
"Unfortunately, the emotions must be stopped."
"You are so right," smiled Castiel, "Emotion always seems to get in the way of logical decision making. I'm glad I see that now. Thank you Alcatrazazaz-"
But Castiel never finished that sentence because at that exact moment, the Doctor had ridden a truck into his face.
"Truck in the face, no asshole is walking away from that," chuckled the Doctor uncharacteristically, "So long as you have your trucking license, it's easy to pull off."
Meanwhile, on Omegle, the author asked some people how to end this fan fiction with the following responses.
Stranger 1 has disconnected.
Stranger 1 has disconnected.
Stranger 2 has disconnected.
Stranger 2: Death
Stranger 2: Because thats how al supernatural everything ends.
Stranger 2: D:
Stranger 2 has disconnected.
And then the author asked some other people with more interesting ideas.
"Hey bitch you look kawaii," Dean smiled sexily at a girl who was drinking at the bar.
The girl turned around and then Dean gasped. That was no girl that was a space station.
"Have you even seen Supernatural? It's like a horror series, not science fiction you idjit," sighed Bobby.
"Dude, just go along with it. Im making it better."
"How is your nerd space show ref. going to make it better?"
"Oh hell naw. You didn't diss Star Wars. Star Wars is awesome."
"Go suck off Jar Jar."
"You baka!"
They then proceeded to have a massive fight scene. There were swords and shit everywehere and then Bobby looked like he was going to win, but then…
He took an arrow to the knee.
"Oh god, I took an arrow to the knee."
"Your conversation partner has disconnected," his opponent remarked smugly as he walked into the distance, his cape swaying behind him in the breeze.
"Castiel-san," Dean asked kind-heartedly, "what do you plan on doing with all this cake?"
"I am reuniting with you Dean. In the most physical way imaginable," he said raising his eyebrow and also he popped a boner.
Dean and Cas then bent over and began shovelling cake into each other's mouths and then into each other's pants. If a Destiel fan girl had been nearby, she would have exploded with joy.
But then, just as things were getting hot, steamy and angelic all up in Dean's pants, Stranger 1 burst into the room!
"Nobody move! One of you is an imposter," he smiled pulling out a Winchester rifle.
"That cake was made by my ancestors."
Stranger 2 burst through the window, shattering the glass and cutting himself open in many places. He pulled out a Rainbow Dash figurine.
"I love ponies, dammit."
Dean and Castiel were swiftly arrested. They shared meaningful glances and also touched each other in the police ride over.
Once in jail (gaol?), they tried to escape with spoons.
"We should have a spoon fight," giggled Dean smuttily.
He went to say something else, but suddenly there was too much of Castiel's cock in his mouth to speak.
They then proceeded to fuck until their deaths. And then God revived them both so they could continued to fuck for the rest of eternity.
Sam just kind of watched from the side like a creep.
AND THEY ALL LIVED HAPPILY EVER AFTER.