Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter and everything recognisable belongs to J K Rowling.
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I know it's short, but it's all I could manage. I will try and update soon. Enjoy!
Chapter Eight
Lily watched as her classroom filled with her seventh year students. Her green eyes rested on Harry for a moment before shifting to Ron and Hermione who sat on either side of her son. She felt her heart skip a beat as she saw a rare smile flit over Harry's face before he hid it again. It seemed Ron had commented on something that Harry found very amusing. It had been two weeks now, since Bella's death and Harry was starting to show signs of recovery. Of course, Lily knew that Harry was far from healed over that particular incident, but at least he was smiling and talking to his friends again.
Lily had tried very hard to get Harry to talk about Bella. She knew that he needed to talk about his feelings regarding her death, but Harry had not succumbed to her attempts. Reluctantly she had given up but she had made Damien promise that he would try and get Harry to open up. How well that attempt was going, she didn't know. She did have more faith in the fact that Damien might be able to get Harry to open up better than her and James.
As Lily moved over to stand before her class, she couldn't help but notice how tired Harry looked. She had noticed it before but had put it down to what he had gone through, dealing with depression over Bella's death. Now as she got a good look at him, she noticed how pale he was. His vivid green eyes seemed to lack their usual shine. She decided to keep him back at the end of class and make sure he was okay.
She ran through the lecture, noticing throughout the lack of attention Harry was paying. He seemed to be fighting to keep his eyes open. Lily knew that Harry liked Potions class. He was extremely talented when it came to potion brewing and always seemed to enjoy her class. Today, however he was not paying her the slightest of attention. He wasn't bored, Lily could tell that much. He just looked completely fatigued.
She ran through the list of potions they were going to study in the next few weeks. She noticed Ron sitting up straight in his chair, his undivided attention was focused on her as she ran thorough the common potions used in Healing. Lily knew that Ron wanted to be a healer. Molly had told her that in passing.
"There are many potions used but we will only go through the ones used most frequently. The everyday potions used on most patients are the most well known ones, like, Dreamless Sleep potion, Muscle replenish potion, and many different types of pain relief potions. We will look at these in particular." Lily moved to stand behind her desk.
She went through the lecture, casting small chance glances at Harry. She knew that Harry enjoyed Potions; he was very talented in potion brewing and since he started attending her classed he made appoint of paying attention to her, so it was odd that Harry seemed so uninterested in the lecture. On closer inspection it seemed as if he was having trouble keeping his eyes open.
Ron on the other hand, had never looked so absorbed in a lecture. His eyes never left Lily and he was jotting down the notes with an enthusiastic vigour.
"There are many potent and notorious potions used in healing. Potions such as, Hatalum Potion, Sedare Potion and Comae potion are all used in healing but only in extreme and unusual cases. These potions are only used sparingly and only in small doses as to prevent other unfortunate complications. We will cover them very briefly in due course but that's enough for today."
Lily watched as the class packed up and got ready to leave. She called Harry over just as he got up from his seat.
"Any plans for tonight?" she asked as casually as she could.
Harry ran a hand through his messy locks before answering.
"Big plans, Hermione's made us study schedules that we have to stick to."
"But I thought you didn't study." Lily asked, knowing how Harry made a point to show how behind Hogwarts was with its education curriculum by not studying for any class.
"I don't, but Hermione can be a little scary when she gets on her high horse about studying and exams. Anything for a quiet life." Harry joked.
Lily smiled at Harry's words, glad that he was starting to open up again. He had been so quiet lately. Lily examined the boy standing before her. His eyes had dark circles under them and he was paler than usual. He had definitely not been sleeping well, that much was obvious. Lily tried to sound as casual as she could when she spoke, not wanting Harry to close up again.
"Well, since it sounds like you could do with a break from your 'study schedule' why don't you and Damien come over to spend some time with me and your dad tonight." Lily hurried on seeing that Harry was about to refuse her offer.
"It's been so long since your dad and I got a chance to spend some time with you boys. It'll be fun."
Harry took a moment to think it over. It had been a while since he got a chance to really talk with his parents. If Damien was going to be there as well then it would probably be best for him to join them. It wouldn't do him any harm.
"Sure, okay." Harry finally replied.
Lily smiled brightly and began to tidy up her desk, glad that she could have some time to talk to Harry later that evening.
xxx
Damien threw down his bag with an angry huff as he collapsed in the armchair near the fireplace. Ginny looked over at him, startled with his uncharacteristic foul mood.
"What's wrong with you?" she asked as the teen sat grumpily in the chair.
"Angelina! That's what's wrong with me!" Damien said fists clenched in anger.
"Angelina? What did she do?" Ginny asked, moving closer to Damien.
"She totally came down on me when I told her that I couldn't make practise this week. It's not my fault I got detention! If it wasn't for Mrs Norris, I would have totally gotten away with creating a swamp in the middle of that corridor. Angelina told me off, like I was a little boy or something!"
Ginny had to hold back her grin.
"Well, you could have held back from pranking this week. If you had done it after this week's practise, it would have worked out so much nicer." Ginny joked, causing Damien to throw her a glare.
The door to the common room opened and Ginny saw Harry, Hermione and Ron walk inside. She locked eyes with Harry and felt the usual tingle make its way down her spine when Harry smiled at her.
Harry came and sat down opposite Damien while Ron and Hermione sat on the sofa near them.
"What's wrong with you?" Harry asked as he noticed his brother's sulking expression.
"Nothing" Damien answered before Ginny said anything.
"Are you going to see mum and dad today?" Damien asked, changing the topic.
"Yeah" Harry answered.
Ron got up and walked over to the small cabinet near the wall. He pulled out five bottles of butterbeer before handing them to his friends. Harry took his bottle took a long sip. The others cast a chilling charm on their drinks before opening them. Harry was he only one who didn't like his drinks chilled.
The butterbeers were meant for Damien's party but since the party was ruined with the search for Harry they never got used. Lily had taken them to the Gryffindor common room, telling them that they could use them up. There were plenty of bottles there to last them a good while. It seemed Lily got a little carried away when she bought them for the party. Other food and drinks were brought up and left for the Gryffindors as well. Most of the cakes and sweets were gone by now.
"So, seriously, what's wrong with you?" Ron asked as he looked at Damien.
Damien ran through his account of what happened with Angelina.
"She totally embarrassed me." he finished, looking quite miserable.
Ron and Ginny continued to cheer him up while Hermione sent a 'you totally deserve it' look his way. Suddenly Harry remembered he had something for Damien which would cheer him up.
"Wait here" Harry instructed to Damien as he got up and headed for the boys dormitory. Damien looked puzzled as eh watched Harry disappear up the stairs and return momentarily, clutching a small parcel.
Harry handed over the wrapped up parcel to Damien, looking a bit awkward.
"Here, this should cheer you up." Harry said as he handed over the parcel.
"What is it?" Damien asked as he took the package from him and then winced as he remembered how Harry usually responded to that question.
Sure enough, Harry was giving him a mock glare and refused to give any sort of answer.
Damien read the small tag on the side of the parcel.
'Damy, Happy Birthday, Use this well, from your brother.'
Damien looked up at Harry, a grin spread wide on his face. It was his birthday present. Damien was looking forward to his present from Harry the most, but after the events that took place after his birthday party, Damien didn't think it was very sensitive of him to ask for his present from Harry. After all, Harry had lost someone who was close to him as his own mother. Damien had figured that Harry would give him whatever he had bought for him when her felt it was best to do so. It was now two weeks later and judging by the blush on Harry's face, he had just remembered he had yet to give his younger brother his present.
"Thanks Harry." Damien said quietly before he quickly started unwrapping his present.
The other three Gryffindors moved closer to see what Harry had got for Damien. It was curiosity more than anything else.
Damien eagerly ripped open the paper and an average sized black book fell onto his lap. Damien looked at the book for a moment before carefully picking it up. He looked up at Harry and then back at the book again. 'He's got to be joking!' he thought to himself. The book had nothing written on the cover. There was not a single mark on the book. Damien looked at the leather cover of the book and turned it over to see the back of it. It was just as plain and boring looking as the front. It looked like it was a diary of some sort.
"A book." Damien said out loud as if to confirm that that was indeed what everyone else was seeing as well. Harry looked like he was quite enjoying the confusion and disbelief on Damien's face.
"Okay, last year you got me a life saving pendant and this year you got me a book. I got to say, Harry, when it comes to cool gifts, you've definitely gone downhill" Damien said holding up the boring gift.
"Just open it." Harry instructed.
Damien did as Harry asked and flipped the book opened. The other three gathered around him as the book opened to reveal a strange sight. All the pages on the left hand side were blank. Not a single mark was on them. The pages on the right hand side, however, were marked with what looked like an open bowl of some sort. Damien ran his hand over the bowl and saw that it was just an image on the page, nothing special about it. He looked up at Harry, wordlessly asking him to explain.
Satisfied that he had created enough confusion around him, Harry moved forward to explain the curious looking book.
"It really is very simple. It gives you what any good book should. Knowledge."
As Harry was speaking he leaned over and let three drops of his butterbeer drop into the open bowl. At once the image of the bowl seemed to spring to life. A silver shimmer ran over the surface of the bowl sending a ripple through it. As Damien watched in amazement, the page opposite the bowl began to fill up with words. Within a matter of seconds the page was filled with the ingredients and method of making butterbeer. Damien looked up at Harry, astounded with his presents. Harry nodded his head towards the book before taking another drink from his bottle, gesturing for Damien to keep looking at the page. Damien watched as the pages filled with additional information about butterbeer, when it was first formed, who founded it, all the different properties of it and lastly what potions had butterbeer as their ingredient.
"Oh Merlin! This is so cool! It's a potion book." Ron exclaimed.
"Actually it isn't. It can work for potions but it is meant to be used for other things, transfigured objects, properties of different plants, charms and runes. It can in effect work for anything." Harry started to explain.
"You can drop pretty much anything into the bowl and the book with provide you with all the information regarding that object." Harry finished.
"It really is very useful. Think about all the help it can give you for your homework. You can use it for anything." Hermione told a much dazed looking Damien.
Harry shared a look with Damien before replying.
"Yeah, homework. That's why I got you this." Harry said in his usual sarcastic tone.
"So what am I supposed to use it for?" Damien asked as Hermione huffed at Harry's remark.
Harry smirked and pulled out a small object from his pocket. The breath caught in Damien's chest as Harry held up a small knife. Ron, Hermione and Ginny all went deathly silent as Harry held up the knife. Without saying anything, Harry dropped the knife into the bowl. The bowl swallowed the knife at once and like before, writing appeared on the opposite page. This time though, Damien noticed that small animated figures appeared on the page, acting out what were undoubtedly combat moves.
"See, I figured that while we're at Hogwarts you can't continue with your training practise. So I thought you could research the other part of your training. How to use weapons." Harry explained.
Damien could only look at the small black figurines on the page, going through different moves. He looked up at Harry with a stunned expression. He had wanted to learn how to fight like Harry did. He admired his brother's skill to fight and wanted to learn that. Never in his life did he expect Harry to teach him how to kill.
Gathering up the right words, Damien tried to get his dazed mind to work.
"Harry, this is…wow, I can't even think what to say. It's awesome." He stopped as Harry's face broke out into a grin.
"But, I don't want to learn how to use a knife. I don't want to learn how to use any kinds of weapons. I wanted to learn how to fight so that I could defend myself, like you did with those Daywalkers. I don't want to learn how to kill someone." Damien said the words carefully, hoping that Harry would understand.
The smile slipped of Harry's face and for a moment Harry just stared at his younger brother in confusion.
"But you said you wanted to learn how to fight. This is a part of it. You have to learn how to use a weapon, just like you learnt how to use a wand. There's no difference. Learn to defend yourself. The choice to actually use that knowledge is yours." Harry tried to see what the big deal was. It wasn't as if he was asking Damien to go out and kill someone. All he was saying was that it was ideal to know how to protect yourself under all circumstances.
Damien looked really uncomfortable and chanced a glance at his friends. The three of them were looking quite pale and it was apparent that none of them wanted to get involved with the discussion.
"Look, Damy, you don't need to get yourself all worked up about it. It's only a suggestion. If you want to use the book for other things then fine, go for it. It's yours; you can do as you please. I just thought that it was a good idea to learn fighting skills with weapons. And I'm not asking for you to learn to kill someone, it's actually the opposite. If you learn how to use a weapon properly, you can defend yourself and not kill the enemy." Harry watched the relief pour back to his brother's face.
"Probably just maim them really badly." Harry added in such a nonchalant way that it made Damien gulp nervously.
"I don't want to maim anyone!" Damien said in a voice that was too loud, and got him a few stares from the other occupants of the common room.
Harry looked at him in puzzlement.
"So when you say that you want to fight, what sort of damage are we talking? Because it sounds to me like you want to give the enemy a slap on the hand for attacking you and let them off." Harry asked.
Damien didn't have an answer. He looked at Harry uncomfortably, squirming a little under his stare. Harry moved forward and leant on the arm of the chair, green eyes fixed directly on Damien.
"Listen to me Damy, either you want to learn how to defend yourself, or you don't. You can't have a happy medium. If you're going to protect yourself, you have to be prepared to do anything. Sometimes you don't get a choice! If you want to protect, you have to kill." Harry told him in a harsh tone.
Harry's eyes lingered on the black stoned pendant, still around Damien's neck before his eyes locked into Damien's again. That was when Harry saw the alarm on Damien's face.
Harry moved away and stood still. He hadn't meant for the conversation to get so intense. He looked around at the panicked looking faces of his friends and realised with a jolt that he had been pressurising his brother to do something that he didn't want to do.
Harry tried to say something but found that he didn't know what to say. He picked up the book and closed it over, feeling that he should have gotten him something else for his birthday. He had totally screwed this up. He wanted to give Damien something really cool and useful, instead he got his brother all freaked out and worked up.
"I'll get you something else, if you don't want this." Harry said in a quiet voice, feeling really stupid for getting the book in the first place.
Harry made to throw the book into the fire since it was useless to him, but was stopped by Damien as he grabbed his arm. Harry stopped and watched as Damien took the book from Harry's grip. Damien tucked it in his robes before turning to look at Harry.
"I love the book, Harry. It really is cool. Thank you." he said with sincerity.
"I know that I'll use the book. Just not in the way you suggested. But like you said. The book is mine. I can do as I please. Right?" Damien asked, wanting Harry to understand.
Harry struggled to smile back at him and quickly moved away.
"I've changed my mind. I'm just going to call it a night. Tell mum I'll catch up with her later." Harry didn't wait for an answer. He headed to the stairs and disappeared into his room.
He headed for his bed and collapsed on it face down. 'What the hell is wrong with me?' he thought to himself. He didn't know why he was pushing Damien to agree to learn how to kill anyway. In all honesty, Harry didn't want Damien to kill. With a horrid jolt Harry realised that he was repeating what he had been taught when he was a kid. He remembered similar words being said to him by Bella and Lucius. How he needed to protect Lord Voldemort and that he had to kill in order to protect him. Harry felt his chest ache as all sorts of emotions ran through him. He never realised how deep the message to kill was embedded within him. In his world it was simple, kill or be killed.
He knew that Damien wouldn't hold what happened today against him. He never held anything against him, but what about the others. Ginny had looked quite pale when Harry was talking. What did she think about him now?
Harry sat up in his bed and reached for the small bedside drawer. He opened it and took out a small vial of Dreamless Sleep potion. Poppy had given him a few bottles and they were the only things that were saving him. He had managed a few nights of sleep with them. That was what he needed right now, sleep. He didn't want to think about what he had said and how he had acted right now. He figured he could deal with it all later.
The thing that bothered him was not what he had said. It was the fact that Harry still firmly believed in what he had said. He really didn't see what was wrong with learning how to kill so that you can defend yourself and others. Harry had grown up believing this, it wasn't easy to change your way of thinking so quickly.
Harry rolled over onto his side and felt his exhausted mind relax as the potion took its effect and Harry slipped into much needed sleep.
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Again, I want to reassure you guys that the story does have an actual plot. Remember that everything you read has a purpose. It will hopefully come together soon. The main plot will come soon, in the next two chappies or so!! Please Review.
P.S. Since so many of you asked, I've named my baby girl, Zara.