Rating: M (language, illegal substances)
Genre: Humor
Pairing: The pack
Word-count: 503
Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
Prompt: This week's prompt was a little wacky: A meme of SpongeBob SquarePants with the caption, "I'm here to fuck bitches." LOL
A/N: Thanks to all of you who voted for me in the TPAs! I was so honored by the nomination and am excited to have tied for 2nd place in the "Cherry Poppin'" category with the lovely and talented jarms!
Speaking of jarms...a big shout-out to her for giving me the idea for this drabble, and of course a shout-out to ChrissiHR for providing the prompt inspiration!
"Guys … is- isn't this illegal?" Taking the joint between his thumb and forefinger, Seth crinkled his nose at the thin trail of acrid smoke tingeing his nostrils.
"Whatsa mattah, widdle Seffie? Dick too small for the big boy pants?" Just skirting the barrier of straight, Quil slapped his hand on this thigh and laughed.
Rolling her eyes, Leah gave him a shove as she strode past the fire pit and crouched next to Seth in the sand. She pulled the blunt from his fingers and took a long drag. "Oh, baby brother. What're we gonna do with you? It just got legalized in Washington. Not that the rez police would care, anyway." She blew a smoke ring in his face and grinned.
"Tell those assholes to fuck off, Seth. That shit won't even give you a buzz. This, on the other hand …" Paul reached in his backpack and pulled out a brown paper bag. "This will get you good and fucked up."
"Paul. What is that?" Embry crossed his arms over his chest, giving his packmate a skeptical eye.
Removing a glass bottle from the bag, Paul twirled the ruby liquid inside and laughed. "Just a little moonshine. Got the recipe from Old Quil. Guaranteed to get a wolf plastered."
"How come he never shared that with me?" Quil looked indignant.
"Because Old Quil probably doesn't know he 'shared' the recipe. Am I right, Paul?" Shaking his head, Sam threw another log on the fire.
"Guys, relax. It's all good." Paul held up the bottle. "Who wants some Kool-Aid?"
"You gotta be kidding me."
"Nope."
"No way, dude. I'm not touching that shit."
"Seth, what about you?" Paul grinned. "Show these guys you got some balls."
"I don't—" Seth looked nervously around the group, finally landing on Quil, who winked.
That was all it took.
Jaw set, he reached out his hand. "Give it to me."
A murmur of surprise rumbled through the pack. "Oh, I can't wait to see this," Leah muttered.
Snickering, Paul handed over the red drink. With rapt attention, they watched as Seth tipped it back and chugged—all of it.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Paul grabbed his arm and yanked the bottle away. "You weren't supposed to drink the whole thing! Just take a shot. Jesus, man."
"Oh … I don't … I don't feel so good." Stumbling, Seth plopped down in the sand, staring blankly into the distance.
"Paul, I swear to fucking God, if you send my little brother to the hospital …"
"It's not my fault he drank the whole goddamned thing!"
"SpongeBob. SpongeBob SquarePants."
A hush blanketed the pack.
Sam leaned forward. "Seth … what did you just say?"
"SpongeBob … I'm here to fuck bitches!" Seth keeled over in the sand, giggling hysterically.
"Great, Paul. Just great."
"Did he say, 'I'm here to fuck bitches' or 'I'm here to fuck, bitches'?
"Quil, SHUT UP!"
"Just asking! Commas make a difference!"
"Come on." Sam sighed. "Let's go see if Old Quil has a hangover recipe."
A/N: Public service announcement for all of you BooBoo fans: Get yourselves to the theater ASAP to see the new X-Men movie! He doesn't have much screen time, but what he does have is completely ogle-worthy. I think his voice finally changed, too, which makes me feel much less guilty about said ogling. LOL ;-)
Also, I'm now on Twitter! Follow me TheWolfGirl7411. I always follow back!