Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter and everything recognisable belongs to J K Rowling.
Thanks for all the great reviews! Here's the next instalment. Enjoy!!
Chapter Seventeen
The silence in the Great Hall was one that no one had ever experienced before. Every student sat in their seats, deep in thought. The food before them was hardly touched. Most were no strangers when it came to attacks. They were attacked last year by these very same creatures. That time though, everyone had managed to get back to Hogwarts in time, before anyone got hurt. Shortly after that the Hogwarts Express was attacked. Again, no student was hurt and as scary as it was at the time, they realised that watching wizards duel was nothing compared to watching people being devoured by vampires. Most students were still trembling at the memory.
The Hufflepuff table was the most solemn of the lot. Friends of Sara sat in mourning for the loss of little Bella. In fact, most of the seventh year students were holding back tears for the little girl. She had died before their eyes.
A lot of students were injured, nothing serious, mostly injuries sustained when they were trying to get away from the vampires. Very few were seriously injured when bitten by the Daywalkers but had been saved by the Aurors in time. All of them were currently in St Mungos hospital. Sara had been taken away by her devastated parents.
But there was something else to blame for the students shaken behaviour. It wasn't the vampires or even the death of Bella. It was what happened after Bella had been killed. The way Harry had reacted.
Hermione shuddered again as the memory swam before her eyes. She had seen Harry's eyes turn black before, when he destroyed Voldemort's Horcruxes. That wasn't what scared her but she knew it was what bothered most students. No, what bothered her was the fear that he radiated when he was fighting. The presence that he had brought around him when he stepped out to kill the leader Daywalker. It was terrifying. She had seen Harry in battle before. Many times actually but never before had she detected the darkness surrounding him.
'Maybe it's got something to do with his full powers?' she thought silently to herself.
Her eyes settled on the empty chair opposite from her. Harry had not come down for dinner. Not that she blamed him. She wished that she hadn't bothered coming down as well. She couldn't stomach the mere thought of food right now.
Hermione shared a look with Ron who held her hand for a short moment, in a reassuring way. She wasn't sure what he was reassuring but it was enough to warm up the cold spot in her stomach.
She shook her head to clear away the disturbing images of Harry killing the vampires. She knew she was going to have nightmares of this. Probably everyone who witnessed this was going to have a few sleepless nights.
But no one knew that this event was going to take whatever peace Harry had left. The few moments he could catch sleep before Voldemort tormented him, was going to be snatched away by the death of the first innocent Harry had failed to save.
xxx
James had just come out of his bathroom after having a shower when he spotted his two friends sitting in his room. James pulled the towel away from his damp hair and looked at Remus and Sirius. Lily was sitting in the chair next to them, her feet drawn up and her arms wrapped around her knees.
"We thought you might want some food." Remus pointed at the two plates of food lying on the table.
"No thanks. Can't eat right now." James said as he sat down next to Lily. They had skipped dinner since they didn't feel like eating.
"James, this is bad." Sirius decided to jump straight to the point.
"I know, Sirius." James sighed. He really didn't want to talk about this right now.
As if reading his mind, Remus leaned forward and patted his shoulder.
"It's not going to go away, Prongs. We have to address this issue as soon as we can."
James looked up at him and nodded his head miserably.
The hot shower had just managed to wash away the images that were twisting James' insides into knots. Why did he have to think about it again?
"James, you have to talk to Harry! He had to understand what happened!" Sirius was finding it hard to keep his emotions in check.
They had messed up, really messed up. When Harry had looked over at them, after killing the leader Vampire he had looked completely heartbroken at their expression. They hadn't meant to look at Harry like that. They didn't want Harry to think they didn't trust him, or worse, that they feared him. They knew that Harry would never hurt them. It was just that at that time, Harry was, well, not himself. He had reminded them strongly of someone they did fear, even if they spent their whole life pretending that they didn't.
"I think you should talk to him first. After he calms down and realises that we don't all…hate him, he'll be fine." Remus said softly.
"I don't think he'll talk to us. Not now anyway." James responded.
"Don't you remember Christmas? Don't you remember how torn up he was about being accused of being untrustworthy? He already thinks that people regard him as evil and cruel and that no one can trust him! Think what he'll be thinking now that his own father and godfathers looked at him with fear!" Lily erupted. She had seen what Harry had done as well. The fear had risen in her as well but she was quick to block it and throw it away. This was her son before her. Her son! Not Voldemort's.
"Lily, it was involuntary. We didn't mean to look at him like that." Remus argued.
"Yeah, and it wasn't just us. You could tell that everyone was shocked. He looked just like Vol…"
"Don't say it!" James cut Sirius off.
The other three stared at him. They could see clearly how much this was torturing him. Sirius, Remus and Lily all calmed down and addressed him.
"Not saying it out loud isn't going to change it from being true." Remus stated quietly.
"Maybe we're all just over reacting. I mean, h-he did raise him. He taught Harry how to duel and as much as I hate to admit it, he did transfer some of his powers to Harry. Maybe it's just inevitable that Harry fights like…like him." Lily suggested.
"It's not the fighting." James said quietly. He raised his eyes to look at her.
"It's not as simple as the fighting style. It was the more than that. For a moment it was like…like he had come back!" James stopped talking and ran a shaky hand through his hair.
"It was more the essence of dark magic that came from him, not to mention the magic he performed was dark as well. Burning those creatures from the inside. That isn't light magic!" James got up and started pacing the floor, hands clasped tightly behind him.
"And to make matters worse, the Ministry Aurors were there, and the Minister himself was watching from the window as well! They all saw him! And while they can't do anything about the dark magic he performed since it was used in a life or death situation and it was against vampires, it won't stop them from discriminating against him in the future!" James was now yelling in frustration.
"James, what are you talking about? The Ministry won't do anything to Harry. They know better than that!" Sirius responded.
"Don't be stupid, Sirius! They haven't done anything to Harry yet because they are reluctant to destroy the image of him as a hero. A Light side wizard who destroyed Voldemort! But now that Harry showed what he's actually capable of, they won't be able to paint him like a hero anymore. Harry has unintentionally put himself in a very dangerous position! Now no one can deny that Harry is capable of very dark magic!" James shouted.
"But they knew that about him from the beginning. Harry's true past hasn't been kept from anyone. Everyone knows he's been brought up learning dark magic!" Remus argued.
James stopped pacing and turned to look at Remus. His eyes showing the fear he was feeling at the moment.
"Yes, but everyone had chosen to ignore that fact. Think about Harry's behaviour today! After this how many people will continue to believe that Harry's not the Dark Prince anymore? That he's not the one carrying out these recent attacks!" James' words rang in the room.
xxx
Damien stood with his arms crossed, his eyes glues to the door before him.
"I'm not going away, Harry! You're going to have to talk to me sooner or later!" he yelled for the sixth time.
There was no answer.
"Fine! Have it your way! I'm just going to sit here and wait for you."
Damien sat down, legs crossed, in the middle of the corridor, facing the door that was the room of Requirement in which Harry had locked himself.
He sat silently for a few minutes. He knew that Harry wouldn't let him sit there, on the freezing floor in the middle of the corridor for long. Just as he suspected, there was a loud click, indicating the room had now been unlocked.
Damien stood up and hurried inside, before Harry changed his mind. He walked inside to find Harry standing with his back towards him, staring out of the magically placed window.
"Harry, you've got to stop this." Damien said as he walked over to him.
Harry had literally locked himself inside the Room of Requirement since yesterday. After they all had come back to Hogwarts from the disastrous day in Hogsmeade, Harry had locked himself inside and had refused to speak to anyone. James, Lily, Ron, Hermione and even Ginny pleaded for him to come out but Harry wouldn't listen to them or let them come inside. Damien felt the smug satisfaction he always felt when Harry showed favouritism to him.
"You have to come outside. Mum and dad are going berserk! They even went to Professor Dumbledore to see if he could somehow force you out…" Damien stopped at Harry's annoyed look.
"…but Professor Dumbledore actually stood up for you and told them to leave you alone. But really, Harry, this isn't healthy! Please come outside and talk to them." Damien watched as his words had no effect on Harry whatsoever.
"Please, Harry, at least come and get some food. You've had nothing to eat since yesterday morning." Damien tried again.
Harry shook his head a fraction and went back at staring out the window.
"Why are you tormenting yourself? It wasn't your fault! You couldn't have stopped it, Harry." Damien said, getting immensely annoyed with his brother.
"It was my fault."
Damien looked at Harry in surprise. He wasn't expecting him to talk.
"How can you say that? How is it your fault?" he asked outraged that Harry could take the blame.
"I could have saved her. I would have managed to get to her if I hadn't taken so long in helping. I should have helped sooner."
Damien noticed how Harry's hands had curled into fists. His eyes were clouded with so much regret it was making Damien's heart break.
"Everything bad that happens isn't your fault, Harry. No one asked for you to save her. Dad actually told you to stay inside the pub. No one blames you for yesterday. You tried to help her, but you couldn't." Damien was keeping his eyes fixed to Harry's, to show him that he was sincere in what he was saying.
"You weren't the only one there. The entire seventh year was there. Other witches and wizards your age. They don't blame themselves. Why are you beating yourself up about this?" Damien continued.
"No one else knew how to fight the Daywalkers." Harry interrupted.
"So? That isn't your fault!" Damien knew he was being selfish but right now he desperately wanted Harry to understand that Bella's death wasn't his fault.
"You didn't see her before she…" Harry broke off, not able to finish his sentence.
"She was only five years old! The way she looked at me…her eyes…" Harry squeezed his eyes shut to drive away the memory of the pleading look the child had sent him.
"No child should have that much fear in her eyes. She looked at me, Damy. She looked at me and her eyes…she thought I was going to save her. I could see it in her expression." Harry let out a shaky breath, fighting to control his emotions.
"I failed. I had sworn to myself that I would never let any innocent child suffer. Not after what I went through. I promised to myself that I would save any child, if it were in my power to do so. I was right there! Only a few feet away and I couldn't do anything. She died in front of me and I couldn't do anything!" Harry's eyes were fixed to the ground, his hands trembling.
Damien opened his mouth but found he didn't have anything to say that could make Harry feel better. He had never asked Harry or his parents about the abuse Harry went through. He honestly didn't want to know. He knew now though that it was something that affected Harry even to this day. He had never mentioned that part of his past to anyone. Not since the day he had attempted to kill their dad. Damien quickly forced that memory away. He didn't want to remember that day. It was still too painful.
Damien spent the next hour or so trying to get Harry to come back to the dorm. He needed to sleep. At last, he convinced Harry to leave the sanctuary of the Room of Requirement and head back to his dorm. He really needed his bed.
Harry followed Damien, too tired to argue anymore. He was silently glad the common room was empty. Damien led Harry to his dorm. Ron was still awake, he leapt from his bed at the sight of Harry but at the look Damien threw at him, he remained silent. He let Damien guide Harry to his bed. Harry just fell into bed and turned his back to the two boys. Damien left, whispering to Ron to 'keep quiet and don't talk to him'.
Harry felt his eyes close of their own accord. They snapped open a few minutes later. Harry stifled his groans of horror as he woke up with a jolt. He had seen the innocent blue eyes, staring at him, pleading for help. The blue eyes changed suddenly to red. Fiery red eyes that looked at him with such hatred it tore his heart apart.
Harry sat up in his bed, rubbing at his eyes furiously. He couldn't deal with nightmares. Not tonight. He hadn't slept the night before. Not even for a single moment. He was shattered. He needed to sleep. Knowing he shouldn't do this but failing to see what else he could do, Harry reached for his bedside drawer. There was only one vial of Dreamless Seeping potion left. Harry held it in his hand for a moment. He really should wait for another three days before taking this. He had to give himself two weeks break between doses. Feeling his sleep deprived body ache, Harry closed his eyes and not caring about the consequences, he put the vial to his lips and swallowed the potion.
He fell asleep as soon as he lay back down. He was already asleep so he didn't notice Ron staring at him worriedly from the next bed.
xxx
James knocked on the door once and then entered. The room was empty. 'Damn!' he thought. He had wanted to see Harry before classes started. He had already visited the Room of Requirement first thing this morning. He was actually relieved at first when the handle turned in his hand and he was allowed to go inside. He rushed in to find the room empty. He had then rushed to the Gryffindor dorms. He had not spoken to Harry since Hogsmeade. He didn't class the words he had shouted at Harry through the wooden door all day yesterday as 'talking'.
James had seen most of the students heading downstairs for breakfast and had hurried along to see if he could catch Harry first. He really needed to talk to him and see if he was okay. Now he was standing in the empty room, staring at the vacant bed. He really hoped Harry was okay. He would have to wait for the end of the day before speaking to him properly. There would be no time today in between classes and at meal times.
He turned around to leave and almost jumped back in fright. Harry had just walked back inside and had caught him off guard.
"Harry!" James said, trying to disguise his jump.
"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you." Harry said looking at James fixedly.
James had to force himself to believe that Harry was being genuine. But he knew that Harry was taking a dig at what had happened at Hogsmeade.
"You, you didn't scare me." James said with much more force than he intended.
"What are you doing here?" Harry said as he walked further into his room. He opened his trunk and started fishing out his books. He had seemingly forgotten them.
"I came to see you." James said, watching Harry's kneeling figure.
"I had worked that much out myself. Why did you want to see me?" Harry expanded.
"I just wanted to see if you were okay?" James said, feeling his heart speed up at the lack of emotion Harry was showing. He knew that meant he was really mad.
Harry snapped his trunk closed and stood up, facing James.
"I'm fine. Why shouldn't I be?" he asked.
James knew he had to stay patient with him.
"I'm sorry about what happened in Hogsmeade." He started. Harry visibly bristled but was quick to blank his expression.
"I want to talk to you about…"
"I don't." Harry interrupted.
James looked at Harry in surprise.
"Excuse me?" he asked.
"I don't want to talk about Hogsmeade. There's nothing to talk about. Now, if you excuse me I have to get to class." Harry turned to leave.
"Harry!" James stopped him from leaving.
"Come and see me this evening." He said, keeping his eyes fixed on his son.
Harry studied his dad's face before shaking his head.
"I have too much work to do." He lied.
"It won't take long. I just need to talk and you're right. We don't have the time right now. Come and see me at eight." James said, walking towards him so both could leave.
"I won't come…" Harry responded but this time James was the one to cut him off.
"You will. Eight sharp! Don't be late."
With that said, James left leaving Harry standing alone in the room.
xxx
Harry couldn't eat. He sat and played with the food on his plate. It felt like his appetite had gone to sleep and hadn't woken up yet. After futilely trying to make himself eat some breakfast he gave up and pushed his plate away.
"Have something to eat, Harry. You haven't eaten anything for the last two days." Hermione scolded.
Harry looked up at her.
"Hermione, my mum's only sitting a few feet away. You don't have to act like her!" he snapped.
Hermione ignored him and pushed his plate closer to him.
Ginny giggled at the look Harry threw at the bushy haired girl. His friends were treating him like they would normal. It was an unspoken deal between them. When Harry was upset about something, no one would bring that topic up unless Harry did. So that meant that everything was to be as normal as possible between the friends.
The rest of the students were quiet around him which actually suited Harry fine. He didn't want to talk to them, any of them.
He skipped lunch as the mere thought of food was making him feel queasy. Ron kept looking at him funny but he didn't say anything to him. Again, at dinner, Harry opted to head to the library under the pretence that he had to look up some things for homework.
At eight sharp, Harry knocked on his dad's doors. James opened the door and let Harry come inside. Harry stood in the middle of the familiar room.
"You can sit, you aren't in trouble." James said as he pointed to the chair.
"It sounded like that this morning." Harry said without being able to hold back the response.
James ran a hand through his hair as he muttered a 'sorry'.
"So, why did you want to see me?" Harry asked, still refusing to sit down.
"I wanted to see if you were okay. You locked yourself in that room and refused to speak to me. I know you're angry with me…"
"I'm not angry with you." Harry interrupted.
James looked at Harry and could see the exasperation in the familiar emerald eyes.
"Harry…"
"Why would I be angry with you?" Harry asked, his voice getting bitter with each word.
James dropped his head in shame and sat down in his chair.
"I'm sorry." he said simply.
Harry seemed to get angrier at this.
"What are you apologising about? For embarrassing me in front of all the Aurors! Or for making me feel like I had done something wrong in killing that filthy creature!" Harry shouted, the mask slipping away to reveal how hurt he actually was.
James looked at him, horrified at the accusation.
"Harry, I didn't mean to upset you. I'm sorry if you think I embarrassed you. I didn't intend to." James said sincerely.
"Looking at me like I was bomb about to go off is pretty embarrassing!" Harry retorted.
"I didn't mean to embarrass you in front of anyone! What happened…it was just so sudden. I had never seen you…you like that." James knew he wasn't making any sense. He took a deep breath and started again.
"I was caught off guard. The only time I had seen you turn like that was in one of Snape's memories. I had almost forgotten that your eyes can change colour."
Harry didn't look any calmer. He raised an eyebrow at the mention of Snape and his memory but he didn't question it.
"You didn't look or act like yourself and it threw me. Same with Remus and Sirius. We could never fear you, Harry. You're my son." James finished emotionally.
If he thought that would calm Harry he was dreadfully wrong. Harry was looking at him with barely suppressed anger.
"I didn't 'act or look' like myself?" Harry repeated.
James looked taken aback. What had he said wrong?
"Really, dad? So tell me, who did I act like? Who did I look like?" he asked icily.
Harry already knew the answer. He had seen it the very moment his eyes had met his dad's fearful eyes in Hogsmeade. When James didn't answer Harry looked away, shaking his head slightly.
"Harry…" James started, swallowing the shame.
"No, just forget it! It doesn't matter. I sometimes forget that you don't know me at all! You seemingly can't recognise your own son." Harry said and headed towards the door. James however wasn't finished yet.
"Hold on a minute! That's not fair! You can't accuse me of that! You had completely changed. What with your eyes changing and everything! You didn't look like your normal self at all."
"That is my normal self! I didn't change into anything! That was me, a part of me!" Harry yelled, angry at his dad for not accepting this truth of his.
James stood blocking the door, staring at Harry's hurt expression.
"I…I know that. I know that it was still you. I just meant that it threw everyone because we've never seen you change like that." James explained.
Harry didn't respond but looked away from James angrily.
"And don't say things like, 'I don't know you' Harry because that's just not true." James said, struggling to keep the hurt out of his voice.
"It is true!" Harry said, not caring to keep his emotions in check any longer.
"You only met me a year ago. You hardly know me at all!" Harry stated.
"Yes, but that wasn't my fault!" James raised his voice, letting go of the grip he had on his emotions as well.
Harry stared at him hard.
"Well it's not my bloody fault! Maybe if you had chosen your friends more carefully, we wouldn't be in this problem!"
Harry wished he could have stopped himself from saying that. He stood numbly, watching the expression James wore change from annoyed to deeply hurt. Harry felt his own anger diminish as he saw how much his words had hurt his dad.
"I…I didn't…" Harry couldn't find the words to say that would make the situation any better.
Harry walked around James and left quickly, afraid he would make the situation worse if he stayed. James stood in numb disbelief. He had blamed himself for years for trusting Peter. But never before had someone else blamed him.
xxx
James raced to the astronomy tower. He had looked for Harry everywhere. The common room, the Great Hall, the Room of Requirement and even the kitchens. He wasn't anywhere. He had to force Damien to look at the marauders map. It showed Harry's sole form sitting at the top of the astronomy tower.
James ran up the last steps leading to the roof. He took a few moments to catch his breath. He looked up and saw Harry sitting on the roof, staring out at the sight before him. It was still rather chilly and Harry wasn't wearing his outdoor cloak. James waked over and sat down next to him. Harry made no move to acknowledge him.
A few minutes passed in silence. James kept his eyes fixed straight in front of him. It was easier to talk sometimes when you didn't have to look at the person.
"You're right." He said simply.
Harry didn't react. He didn't even look in James' direction.
"About a lot of things. You're right about me not knowing you. You're right about that."
Harry turned his head and looked at James, but James kept his sight fixed ahead.
"I know that everything that happened was my fault." he swallowed heavily, gathering all his strength to keep talking.
Harry opened his mouth to interrupt but James cut him off.
"Let me finish, please."
Harry complied and looked ahead of him again.
"If I had figured Peter out, I wouldn't have lost you. If I had listened to my heart and looked for you, I might have found you. If I had only tried harder to talk to you when you came back last year, I would have found out about all those lies you were brought up with."
Harry's expression softened and he was looking in James' direction.
"I don't want to make anymore mistakes with you. I don't want to mess up again." James finally looked at Harry.
"I really don't want to lose you again!" he finished emotionally.
Harry watched his dad struggle with his words and felt sorry for him. He didn't want to lose him either. He reached out and gave him an awkward pat on the shoulder.
"You won't lose me." he reassured him.
"I felt like I did." James admitted quietly.
"When I saw you walk out of Three Broomsticks, you didn't look like my Harry at all. I thought I had lost you. I felt like I was watching someone else. Someone who I never want to even think about again in my life!"
No one spoke for a few minutes. Both sat in silence looking out at the night sky, trembling partly because of the cold and partly because of their conversation. Finally, Harry broke the silence.
"He's a part of me."
James looked at him abruptly.
"Voldemort. He's a part of me. He is and always will be. There's nothing you or I can do to change that. The sooner you accept that, the better it will be." Harry said in a calm voice.
James couldn't hide the shock and hurt at his words.
"Even if he did it more for his own reasons, he did bring me up. I called him father for nearly sixteen years. Just because he didn't love me like a son, it doesn't mean that I didn't love him like a father. Everything I am today, whether it be good or bad, is because of him. I learnt everything I know from him. So it's inevitable that he became a part of me." Harry watched as James struggled to respond.
"Dad, you don't have to say anything. I understand. You saw him in me and that freaked you out. I get it. You don't have to say anymore. You just have to get used to the idea that I'm like him…"
"No! Harry. You're not like him!" James suddenly interrupted.
"You are not like Voldemort! He was cruel and vicious and he didn't care about anyone but himself! You're not like that! You're not!" James told him heatedly.
"You don't know what I go through when you refer to him as 'father'. He took you away from me! He's our enemy and I can't understand why you sill love him." James stopped as he saw the look on Harry's face harden.
"Harry, I don't understand. He hurt you! He hurt you when you were only a child. He lied to you and used you! When you walked away from him he haunted you down. He blackmailed you into giving yourself up and then he tortured you. He would have killed you if you didn't defend yourself! How can you still love him?" James desperately wanted an answer.
Harry looked at him, a sad smile on his face.
"If I could answer that question dad, I would finally be at peace."
James looked at him in surprise. He wasn't expecting that answer.
"I don't know why I love him. Maybe it's because I spent the last fifteen years of my life loving him as a father. Maybe it's because I don't know what else to feel for him." Harry traced his scar slowly.
"There are somethings you can't control. I guess this is one of them." he dropped his hand away from his scar.
James sat in silence. He didn't know how to deal with this situation now. He couldn't understand the feelings Harry still had for Voldemort. He wanted to forget what Harry had just said and pretend it never happened.
"I really am sorry about Hogsmeade." James said, trying to distract his mind from Harry's words.
Harry looked over at him and after giving him a scrutinising look, he dropped his gaze.
"It's okay." he said.
"Really? I'm forgiven?" James asked.
"I wasn't really that mad with you." Harry lied again.
"Yeah, you were." James said with a small smile.
Harry shrugged his shoulders in response.
"Okay, can we go from here now, I'm freezing." James said as he stood up.
"You go. I want to stay for a while longer." Harry said, making no effort to look at his dad.
James stared at him for a second, debating in his mind what he should do. With a sigh he sat back down. Harry looked at him.
"You can go." he said.
"I know, but I know you're still upset so I'm going to stay." James said, rubbing his hands together to keep warm.
"But, can we go inside and talk there. It really is cold." James said with a playful whimper.
Harry glared at him and pulled out his wand.
"I don't know about you, but I happen to be a wizard."
With a complicated wave of his wand, Harry conjured a ball of fire that floated in the air before them. James laughed and instantly began warming his hands before the fire.
"That's more like it!" he joked. Harry smiled and pocketed his wand.
"So, what do you want to talk about?" James asked, hoping Harry wouldn't bring up Voldemort again.
Harry seemed to detect the reluctance in his dad's voice. He knew James couldn't stand the mention of Voldemort's name let alone the topic of what Harry still felt about him. In any case, Harry didn't want to talk about Voldemort. His dad wouldn't be able to understand it anyway. Harry couldn't think of anyone who could possibly understand how he felt.
For a fleeting moment Harry felt the urge to tell James about his nightmares. But he suppressed it. It would only make things worse. What could James do about the nightmares? Nothing.
So Harry just smiled. The familiar smile he wore to mask his distress and started talking about useless things. It was nice that James was taking the time to talk to him. For now, that was enough.
xxx
It was quite late at night and most of the students had gone to bed. Ron couldn't shake away the unsettling feelings he had. It was now more than one week since he caught Harry taking the Dreamless sleeping potion and he still hadn't told anyone. The main reason was because he wanted to speak to Harry about it. But that was much easier said than done. Harry didn't give him any chance to be alone with him. Whenever Ron went to bed, Harry would already be asleep. Or he pretended to be asleep in any case. Ron didn't want to talk to Harry with Neville, Seamus and Dean in the same room.
He was glad that Harry was his normal self again after the Hogsmeade incident. Most of the students had started talking to him again but were visibly wary of him. It was clear to see how much they feared him now that they saw what he was actually capable of. Harry didn't seem that bothered about them though. As long as if friends and family were okay with him, he was happy.
The red haired boy gave a sigh and got up. He left with Damien and headed to bed, Hermione and Ginny trailing behind them. He had just gotten a few steps up when he realised he had left his bag with his school books back in the common room. Cursing his forgetfulness, he walked back to pick them up.
He walked back into the common room and stopped dead in his tracks. He let out a surprised gasp as he saw the blond haired Slytherin standing near the small cabinet which held the few Butterbeers now left. Draco Malfoy looked in the direction of the sound and his grey eyes narrowed at the Gryffindor standing at the foot of the stairs.
"If it isn't Weasley!" he said with a sneer.
"Malfoy!" Ron yelled and bolted in his direction, throwing him an angry glare.
"What the hell do you think you're doing!?!" he shouted as he came to stand before him.
Draco just stood where he was, looking at the red faced Weasley with calm.
"I don't think it's got anything to do with you." he responded.
"Like hell it doesn't! You're in our common room. It has everything to do with me!" Ron yelled again.
"Trust me, I'm the one who is suffering by being in the Gryffindor common room." Draco said as he cast a disapproving glance at the room.
"Honestly, how can you stand so much red around you?" he sneered again.
Before Ron could respond he heard similar gasps. He looked around and saw Damien, Hermione and Ginny standing behind him. They must have heard him yelling.
"How did you come in here?" Hermione asked before Ron could say anything.
Draco looked at Hermione and the dislike he had for her was evident in his grey eyes.
"It's rather obvious." he said.
"I walked in through the door."
"Yes, I gathered that much. I meant how could you come in through the door. You don't have our password." Hermione said, ignoring the hurtful looks he was giving her.
Draco smirked at her and turned away from her. He opened the cabinet door and took out a bottle of butterbeer.
"As a matter of fact, Granger, I do know your password. That is how I came in." Draco announced, a smug look on his face now.
He opened the bottle and took a swig, nearly spitting it back out again.
"Good God! It's not even chilled! How can you drink this crap?" he said looking at the bottle with disgust.
"Actually, Malfoy! Those are Harry's. He likes his drinks like that. The ones on the top shelf are chilled." Ginny said, her arms crossed.
Malfoy opened the door again and pulled out a bottle from the top shelf. He could tell just by holding it that it was chilled. He looked at Hermione, a smirk on his face again.
"I bet this was your idea! Always the brain box!"
Hermione would have thought that was a compliment if he hadn't said it with such venom.
"Of course it was Hermione's idea! But after you're done drinking our drinks you could tell us how you know our password? Who told you?" Ron asked icily.
"I did."
The five looked around and saw Harry standing at the staircase. He had walked down without them noticing.
"You?" Ron asked now wearing a very bemused expression.
"Yeah" Harry confirmed as he walked over to the group.
"But…why? Why did you tell him?" it was Ginny who asked the question.
"Why not? It's not like it's against the rules or anything." Harry said nonchalantly.
"Actually, Harry, it is. You can't have anyone from another house in your common room. It's the whole point for having separate common rooms and passwords." Hermione told him.
"Oh, didn't know, don't care!" Harry said giving her one of his trademark smirks.
"But, Harry…" Damien started.
"What?" the question cut Damien off.
Truth was that Damien still didn't like Malfoy but he was eternally grateful to him for helping them save Harry from Voldemort. He shut his mouth and looked away.
"Actually I meant to ask you something?" Ron suddenly said advancing on Malfoy.
"I don't remember seeing you in the Three Broomsticks during the attack last week."
Draco continued to look calmly at him but his jaw suddenly clenched.
"Where were you?" Ron asked.
"And why should I tell you?" Draco asked, menace clear in his voice.
"It doesn't matter to you where I was!" he finished, his pale face twisted with annoyance.
"What are you doing here?" Hermione asked before Ron could ask anymore questions.
Draco shared a look with Harry but neither boy answered the question. Instead Draco turned to speak to Harry.
"Are you ready to go?" he asked, his voice returning to its usual tone.
"Yeah" Harry answered.
A wave of panic went through the other four.
"Harry, where…where are you going?" Damien asked.
"Nowhere. I'm right here." Harry said but started walking towards the door.
"Harry!" Ginny called out to him.
"Just relax guys. I'm not leaving Hogwarts." Harry said smirking, enjoying the looks of distress on their faces.
With a final wink at them, he walked out of the common room with Draco.
Damien instantly went to pull out the map from his pocket. If Harry was staying inside Hogwarts, he would see where he was going. His eyes widened in horror as he realised that the map was missing.
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Note: Hopefully this chapter should make it clear that Harry is not a Horcrux. Voldemort is truly gone and won't be coming back. Just thought I would put that speculation to rest. The title refers to what Harry feels about Voldemort. Okay, let me know what you think! Cheers!