Disclaimer I do not own Harry Potter and everything recognisable belongs to J K Rowling.
Hey guys! Thanks so much for all your reviews. Here is the next chappie! Enjoy!!
Chapter Nineteen
Poppy stood in her office, staring at the results of the blood test. It couldn't be right! She had already run the test three times, refusing to accept the results. She bit her bottom lip as she always did when extremely upset. Her hand shook so much she had to put the vial down. She collapsed onto her chair and lowered her head into her hands.
How could this have happened? Harry was not careless. He wasn't someone who could let something let this happen to himself. Poppy stood up on shaking legs and walked out of her office. She saw Harry lying on the bed, fast asleep. His visitors had all left. She bit her bottom lip again and willed the tears to go away. She went over to him and gave a quick check over. As predicted the fever still hadn't broken and it would probably be morning before it would break. Biting back the emotions, she left Harry in his fevered condition. After all there wasn't anything she could do for him.
As soon as it was morning, Poppy hurried over to see Harry. She wanted to speak to him about the test results as soon as possible. As soon as she walked in, she saw to her surprise that Harry wasn't alone. She saw Harry sitting up in bed, fully awake with James was sitting next to him. Both were conversing quietly. Poppy noticed how much more relaxed Harry was now that he was with his father. She watched as Harry laughed at whatever comment James had made.
Poppy walked over to him, watching as Harry's face broke into a tired smile at the sight of her.
"Madame Pomfrey. Any idea what caused Harry to get sick?" James asked calmly as the school nurse approached them.
Poppy looked at the Auror and felt her heart jump at the thought. How was he going to react? As much as she wanted to, she knew she couldn't tell James or Lily until she had told Harry first. After her argument with Lily a few months ago, she wasn't exactly looking forward to telling her.
Instead of answering, Poppy decided to check Harry again. She took his temperature and let out a sigh of relief. The dreaded fever had at last broke. She ran her wand up and down Harry's body, relieved that he was in no longer in pain.
"The fever's gone. I just need to check over a few other things then you'll be able to leave." Poppy told him as calmly as she could.
"Great" Harry responded.
"Alright, I better get going. I don't want to let my class wait like yesterday." James said as he got up.
"Yeah, they'll be really disappointed." Harry mocked.
James' only response was to throw him a playful glare before heading out the door.
Poppy went over to stand next to Harry, her heart beating wildly in her chest.
"How are you feeling?" she asked, stalling for time.
"I feel fine." Harry responded, failing to notice the nervousness in her voice.
Poppy couldn't find the right way to start the conversation. She was trying very hard to push to anger down. It wasn't Harry's fault. He hadn't done this on purpose. But on the other hand, someone who was as talented as Harry was and knew so much about magic should have been more careful.
"Poppy?"
The nurse looked up to see Harry staring at her.
"Are you alright?" he asked.
'No' her mind screamed. She took a deep breath to calm herself before sitting on the side of his bed.
"Harry, I'm going to ask you something and I want an honest answer." She started.
Harry nodded to show he understood. He would have made a joke about the way she was acting but something about her voice made him stop.
"Other than yesterday, when did you last take the dreamless sleeping potion?"
The question threw Harry and he was left gaping at her. Poppy's face hardened at the reaction as she clearly got her answer.
"I see." She muttered.
"What's the sleeping potion got to do with anything?" Harry asked, feeling the slow panic creeping up inside of him.
Poppy looked at him carefully before answering in a steady voice. She wasn't going to show how effected she was at this.
"I had a suspicion last night as to your illness. The blood sample I took from you was used to run a test. It was confirmed as positive. All the symptoms you showed, persistent fever, lack of response to potions and your loss of appetite. It all points to one thing." She looked at him directly, holding his gaze before continuing.
"It confirms that you are in Phase one of addiction to sleeping potion."
Harry could only stare at her. Her words ringing in his ears but not really sinking in. When they did finally sink in, Harry immediately rejected them.
"That's not possible." He said, his voice surprisingly shaky.
"Harry, I carried out the test. It confirms that you are addicted." Poppy tried to tell him.
"Then do it again! You're mistaken." Harry said.
Poppy didn't know what to say that would make him believe her.
"Harry, I carried out the test three times just to make sure. I wouldn't say anything if I wasn't one hundred percent certain. I'm sorry." she added emotionally.
Harry pulled himself out of the bed, this wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening. He couldn't have become addicted. He was so careful. He suffered sleepless nights just so that he didn't run the risk to addiction. How could this have happened?
"Harry, please sit down." Poppy said trying to calm Harry down.
"I don't understand! This couldn't have happened! I can't be addicted. I did everything right! I took the required breaks from the doses. I stayed away from the potion for two weeks at a time! This couldn't have happened." Harry said, voicing his thoughts. He was pacing the floor, hands shaking.
"Tell me honestly. How often did you take the potion?" Poppy asked.
Harry looked at her, his eyes trying to focus on her.
"I…I don't really know. I took the potion only when it became too much. If I did take it regularly I gave myself two weeks break. I just don't understand!" Harry said again.
"Did you ever take the potion consecutively for more than a week?" Poppy asked, already knowing the answer.
Harry's head snapped up to look at her.
"Once, I…I did only once. I knew I shouldn't have but…but once couldn't possibly lead to addiction!" Harry exclaimed.
"Think about it, Harry! It couldn't have been only once. It must have been many times!" Poppy was beginning to lose her temper.
Harry shook his head.
"No, no I only took it once." He argued.
."It doesn't really matter now. There's not much you can do about it. Harry, you have to listen to me very carefully." Poppy walked over and stood directly in front of Harry. She took a deep breath. This was the hard part, telling him what was going to happen
"You are in Phase one. Things haven't gone far enough yet. You have a chance to fix this. Now, listen to me. You can not under any circumstance, take any more sleeping potion! Do you understand me?"
Harry nodded his head, he already knew that. Poppy continued.
"If you stay away from the sleeping potion, you body will adjust itself back to normal. It's gong to be a nightmare. Your body will crave for the potion but you have to resist. It will be painful but that's nothing compared to the pain you'll go through if you don't give it up." Poppy had to calm herself before explaining further. The thought of Harry possibly going through this was killing her.
"If you enter Phase two, you will get sick. Really sick. The sleeping potion will start to become toxic for you. Your addiction will force you to keep on consuming it and the more you consume the more ill you will get. It starts to affect the lungs first, then other organs. You will get weak and no amount of magic will be able to save you. Phase three is when it becomes fatal. You'll be so ill you won't be able to move around. Your weight will fall and your bones will become brittle. Your magic will also suffer as your core becomes weak. The potion will destroy everything internally before…before killing you." she whispered the last few words.
Poppy watched as her words had the effect on Harry. His eyes were clouded with fear. He didn't want that to happen to him. He was too proud a person to let himself get that weak or vulnerable. He looked up at Poppy.
"I won't touch it again. I promise." He said sincerely.
"I really hope you stay true to that promise." Poppy said with some relief.
"Isn't there something you can give me, something that can cancel out the effects of the potion?" Harry asked. He knew the answer in the back of his mind but he wanted to ask Poppy just in case.
"No, Harry. The sleeping potion is actually the only potion that can't be cancelled out. That is why no other potion was working on you yesterday, because you had too much sleeping potion in you. Once your system is clear of the sleeping potion, other potions can work on you." she told him.
Harry nodded his head. This was really messed up. He couldn't sleep for even a few minutes without the sleeping potion and now he couldn't take anymore potions unless he wanted to sign his life away. He was trembling at the thought of what he would have to endure night after night because of this.
Poppy mistook his trembling as fear of becoming ill. She put a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"You can do this, Harry. You can fight this." she assured him. "Now, I don't know how to tell your parents. They're going to be really upset…" Poppy started.
Harry stood up quickly, heart about to explode in his chest at the thought.
"Poppy, please don't tell them just yet! Let me figure out a way to tell them." he pleaded. He had only just started to have a somewhat normal relationship with his dad. If he were to find out about this, he would so angry with Harry that he would never trust him again.
"Harry, I'm sorry. I'm bound by law to tell them that you have an addiction. I'm sorry." she said sympathetically.
Harry collapsed onto the bed, a defeated look on his face.
'He's going to kill me.' he thought to himself.
Poppy looked on in pity. She hated seeing Harry like this. She reached out and squeezed his shoulder comfortingly.
"I'll let you tell them." she said softly.
Harry looked at her gratefully.
"Thanks, Poppy." he replied.
"Just make sure you tell them in the next few days. If you don't then I'm afraid I'll have to." Poppy explained.
Harry nodded his head, miserable at the mere thought of how he was going to tell them.
He sat with Poppy in silence, trying to come to terms what was happening to him.
xxx
Harry didn't go to any classes that day. After leaving the hospital wing he went straight for his dorm and sat on his bed, the drapes pulled tightly around his bed shielding him from the rest of the castle.
He was completely overwhelmed with what he had learnt. How on earth had he managed to get himself addicted? It wasn't like him to do something like this. He had given himself the required breaks regularly. For two weeks at a time he suffered with minimal sleep just so that he didn't overdose. He had suffered all that in vain. He still managed to become addicted.
Harry opened his trunk and eyed the potions he and Draco had brewed. He should destroy them all. He wasn't going t be able to drink any of them. Harry pulled out his wand and pointed it at the stack of potions. He knew he should destroy them. There was no point in keeping them but something in Harry didn't want to destroy them. He sat pointing his wand at the potions for a few minutes, willing himself to say the hex and be done with it.
"This is ridiculous!" he exclaimed loudly as he pulled his wand away.
'They're not of anymore use to me. I can't take any of this stuff!' he thought, willing himself to destroy them.
Finally he dropped his hand away from his trunk. He couldn't do it. Just seeing the potions there, in front of him was giving him some weird sense of relief. As if he could sleep knowing the potions were there. Even though he knew he couldn't actually take any.
Sighing in frustration, Harry slammed his trunk shut and pushed it under his bed again. 'This can't be good!' he thought to himself as he lay on his back, eyeing his ceiling angrily.
xxx
Harry was walking down the darkened corridor. He didn't know where he going. Maybe he was heading to the Great Hall for dinner? Yes, that was it. He was going to have something to eat. After that he would do the impossible task of telling his parents what he had got himself into.
Harry let out a shaky breath and continued walking. He was all alone, walking down the narrowed corridor. 'I wonder where everyone is?' he thought. He looked around himself and suddenly stopped in his tracks. The walls were dark, very dark. He didn't remember Hogwarts having corridors this dark. He eyed the walls again and let out a gasp of horror. He was standing in Riddle Manor.
"No, no, no! not now, please not now!" he whispered under his breath. He whirled around and started going back up the way he came. He was dreaming. He must have fallen asleep. He had to wake up! He had to wake up before he came. He couldn't stand seeing him again. Watching him burn again!
Harry looked around in desperation. He had to wake up. How could he wake himself up?
Just as Harry turned the corridor he saw him. He stopped in his tracks, eyes wide with fear and pain. Voldemort was standing before him. Dressed in his usual black robes, red eyes fixed on him. Harry stood rooted to the spot. He felt like someone had performed the 'Pertificus Totalus' curse on him. He couldn't move, couldn't turn away.
The smoke started coming out of Voldemort's robes and Harry let out an anguished moan.
"Please, no, no!" he cried as he saw flames leap out and lick their way across Voldemort's chest. Voldemort's pained gaze was fixed on Harry. His eyes never leaving the crying figure.
"Harry…!"
Harry shot up in his bed, tears clinging to his face. His breathing was harsh and heavy and he was trembling from head to foot.
"Harry! Mate, are you alright?"
Harry looked around to locate the worried voice and saw Ron standing at the foot of his bed. Harry tried to stop his trembling and look somewhat normal but it was in vain. He was shaken up by the familiar nightmare and Ron had seen it.
"I'm fine." Harry managed to say, cursing his voice for shaking so much.
Ron looked at him in disbelief. He turned to face the door and locked it in a swift move. He sat down on Harry's bed after handing him a glass of water. Harry took it gratefully and downed it in one shaky go.
"I came to see if you wanted any dinner." Ron explained.
Harry shook his head, he couldn't eat anything. Not right now.
"Was it…is it Voldemort?" Ron asked a nervous tinge to his voice.
Harry looked up at him in surprise.
"What?" he asked.
"Your nightmares? Are they about Voldemort?" Ron asked again.
Harry's immediate response was to deny having nightmares. But as he was currently sitting on his bed, drenched in sweat, trembling from head to foot, he had no other option but to answer truthfully.
"You can't tell anyone." Harry said at once.
Ron was taken back. He had never heard Harry sounding so…vulnerable. Ron had always thought of Harry as the strongest person he had ever met. He had gone through so much and Ron knew deep down that there were very few people in this world that would be able to go through everything he had.
"I would never tell anyone. It's not my place to say anything." Ron assured him. Harry looked relieved. "You can tell me if you like, about your nightmares. I swear I won't breathe a word of it to anyone." Ron said in an uncertain voice.
Harry looked like he was seriously contemplating telling his friend. But just as quick as the thought came to him, it disappeared again. Ron wouldn't understand. Voldemort had hurt him, hurt his brother. Ron wouldn't have any sympathy. Harry could tell by the tone of voice Ron had used that he didn't really want to discuss Voldemort. He was just offering support like a good friend would.
"Its okay, Ron. It's not really that big a deal. I'll handle it." Harry said.
Before Ron could say anymore, Harry threw his legs over the bed and got up. "You want to go and get some food?" Harry said. He wasn't going to eat anything but he knew his friend had a big appetite.
Ron opened his mouth to speak. Now was the perfect time to talk to Harry about the sleep potion.
"Harry, before we go I want to tell you something. I saw you, a few nights ago." Ron took a deep breath before going on. "I saw you take the Dreamless Sleeping potion."
Harry's eyes widened with that statement. Ron was staring at him with concern.
"Look, mate. I know you're probably more aware of the risks than me…" Harry squirmed at that. "…but I just thought I should say that I saw you taking it twice in the space of ten days. I just want to say that if you're talking the potion because of the…the nightmares then you should tell someone."
"Really? Like who?" Harry snapped back.
He was sick of this. Sick of the empty offers to talk to him about his problems. Nobody was really willing to speak to him about Voldemort. Not his parents, not his friends. Harry knew without a doubt that even Damien wouldn't want to talk to him about Voldemort.
Ron shifted his weight uncomfortably. He didn't want Harry to get mad at him.
"You could talk to your parents. If not then, then I'm…I'm here. You know, you can talk to me, or maybe Hermione." Ron offered.
Harry rolled his eyes at the feeble offer.
"I'm fine and I don't need to talk to anyone. Don't worry about the potion. I won't be taking anymore." Harry left it at that and headed out the door with Ron behind him.
Ron let out a sigh of relief. That went better than he had expected.
xxx
Harry rubbed at his tired eyes and willed himself not to fall asleep at the table. It had been two weeks since Poppy had told him about his addiction. Harry had stayed true to his word and had not touched the potion. But that meant that since that day, Harry hadn't slept. Not even for a moment. Before he used to be able to sleep for an hour or two before the nightmares woke him up but now he found the nightmares started as soon as he closed his eyes.
Harry found his nightmares getting worse. He couldn't cope with them. His friends and brother had noticed the dark circles under his eyes and his unusual lethargic behaviour. Ginny had asked him repeatedly what was wrong but like always, Harry told her it was nothing. Ron was the only one who knew part of the truth. He knew Harry wasn't taking the sleeping potion and now was suffering lack of sleep because of that.
Harry was still giving Hermione and Damien the cold shoulder after they both had sold him out to Poppy and his mum. Damien, as usual didn't let Harry's cold behaviour bother him. He treated him like normal. Hermione on the other hand was trying to not let herself be bothered by it but was losing the fighting battle.
Harry knew they would find out about the addiction soon as would his parents but he couldn't find it in himself to tell them. Poppy had stopped him in the corridor yesterday and asked him if he had spoken to them yet. She had threatened to tell them herself if he didn't do it soon. Harry decided that he would do it tomorrow. It was a Saturday and he would get the chance to talk to them without anyone disturbing them.
He trudged up the stairs feeling the headache worsen. He found that his body was slowly going through the withdrawals from the lack of the potion. Poppy was right, it was painful. He felt like his headache never went away. He could barely keep his eyes open and had tried everything to keep himself awake.
Harry felt the desire to pull out the potion from his trunk and drink it. 'Just one more time. One last time to get me through. I can handle it, Ill quit it after that.' Harry shook his head at the thought. He remembered what Poppy had told him. He wouldn't let himself get any worse. He wasn't going to be vulnerable. He wasn't weak.
He closed his eyes, wishing he could just sleep. Even for just a few minutes. That would be bliss.
xxx
Harry walked into the small room that served as Lily's living quarters and sat down on the sofa. He was exhausted. Another night of virtually no sleep had taken its toll on him.
Lily closed the door and sat down opposite her tired looking son.
"Are you alright?" she asked as she took in the dark circles under his eyes and the fatigued look on his face.
Harry nodded his head.
"Yeah, I'm fine."
Lily looked at him, scrutinising him with her eyes. He was far from okay. He was not sleeping. That much was obvious. She had noticed the last few days how exhausted he was looking. She was actually planning on talking to him when he had arrived at her door.
Lily had spoken to James about Harry and had failed yet again to convince him to talk to Harry about his obvious sleepless nights. She had decided last night that if he wasn't going to do it, then she would.
"Harry, I really need to talk to you about something." She started, putting down her teacup.
Harry looked at her through bloodshot eyes.
"Yeah, um…I wanted to talk to you as well." He said, pushing his untouched teacup away.
"Can I go first?" Lily asked quickly.
"Yeah sure." Harry answered. The more he could stall telling her about his health the better.
Lily looked uncomfortably at him. How was the best way to start this conversation? She decided to start with how she found the empty potion vial and her talk with Poppy.
"Harry, I know about your sleeping problem and the sleeping potion." She said in a heavy voice.
Harry's head snapped up to look at her. She already knew?
"How?" he managed to ask.
"Poppy told me." Lily answered truthfully.
Harry felt his heart flip in his chest. Poppy had told her! She had promised to let him be the one to tell his parents. He had met her the other day. She had threatened to tell James and Lily but Harry didn't seriously think she would do that. Not this quickly anyway.
Of course, unknown to Harry, Lily was referring to the time she had confronted Poppy about the empty potion vial she found in Harry's room. Poppy had told her that Harry was having trouble sleeping and had gone to her for help.
"Harry, I'm really upset about this." Lily went on. Harry looked at her with a very guilty expression. "I can't believe you were suffering and you chose to keep that to yourself."
"I can't believe she told you." he whispered. Lily looked at him in surprise.
"Why not? I am your mother. She should have told me this from the very beginning, the first time you took a dreamless sleeping potion." Lily reprimanded.
Harry looked away from his mum in shame.
"Why didn't you come to me? Why didn't you tell me you were going through…through all of this?" she asked gently. She was referring to the nightmares that he was suffering from.
"I wanted to. I just figured there wasn't anything you could do." Harry answered truthfully. Lily looked at him with deep emotions in her eyes.
"I could have done something. Sometimes just having someone there to listen to you can be half the battle." Lily replied.
Harry was so relieved his mum was taking his addiction problem really well. He had expected her to be inconsolably emotional. He was really thankful she was so cool.
"Look, mum. I know that I messed up. I honestly still don't know how it all happened but I promise I'll fix this."
Lily looked at Harry in confusion. 'What's he talking about? Fix what? What has he messed up?' she thought to herself.
"I won't let the addiction get any worse. I won't touch the stuff again, I swear."
At Harry's words Lily felt her world come crashing down. Addiction? Harry was addicted? She saw the fatigue on Harry face and it all suddenly became very clear.
Harry was taking all those sleeping potions. He hadn't spoken to anyone regarding his nightmares and so they continued tormenting him. Somehow, he had overdosed on the potion and now he was addicted. Lily was shaking. Harry was addicted to the sleeping potion! She had seen firsthand what potion addiction did to people and their families. It wasn't something to take on easily. It destroyed the sufferer from the inside out.
"You…you're addicted?" she asked painfully.
Harry stopped talking and looked at her. It was clear from her shocked expression that she didn't know.
"You said that you had spoken to Poppy." Harry said, confused to what was happening.
"Yes, I spoke to her a few weeks back about you taking Dreamless sleeping potion! She didn't say anything about you being addicted!" Lily said heatedly, her face growing red.
Harry closed his eyes and groaned. Great, this was just great. What a brilliant way to tell your mum that your health was at risk.
"Mum…"
But Lily was too far gone to hear Harry. She had got up from the chair and was pacing the floor, much like James.
"I can't believe this…you're…you're…addicted! How can you be addicted? How much did you take?" she asked turning to him.
"I don't really know. A lot." Harry answered truthfully.
Lily let out a moan and collapsed in her chair, head held in her hands.
"Did Poppy tell you what Phase you were in?" she asked after regaining control.
"First." Harry answered quietly.
Lily looked a little relieved.
"First phase? Okay, that means that you have a chance to fix this. Now, listen Harry, you can't take anymore potion! Do you understand? Not even one single drop! Okay?"
Harry bit his tongue to stop himself from answering angrily. He hated it when he was spoken to like he were five years old. Poppy had done the same. Instead Harry kept a strong grip on his temper and turned to his mum.
"Yes, mum." He managed to say through gritted teeth.
Lily didn't notice. She was up pacing the room again, wringing her hands in worry.
"I'll call your dad. He's in his room talking with Moody."
"Moody?" Harry asked in surprise.
"He's here to take over the Duelling club." Lily answered distractedly. "Stay here." she ordered before disappearing from the room.
Harry let out a frustrated breath. This was going to be a long and very painful talk. He could just tell.
xxx
Harry sat with his eyes diverted away from the two angry adults. He didn't know what he could say that would make things better so he just kept quiet and let them do all the talking.
James and Lily were beyond angry. They were distraught after learning about the addiction. Harry was strong, they knew that. There was a chance that Harry could get rid of this addiction as he was only in the first Phase. But Harry had been through a lot already in his life. This wasn't something he should have to deal with as well. It was a very painful thing to go through. The withdrawals itself could make you very ill. Subconsciously they blamed themselves for Harry's condition. They knew he was taking the potion to sleep. If they had reacted earlier maybe Harry wouldn't be in this situation. However, as was human nature, they couldn't separate the anger they felt at themselves with the anger they felt towards Harry. He, above everyone else, should have known better.
James and Lily sat down, trying very hard to control their emotions.
"Are you going to at least try and explain your actions?" James asked, biting back the anger he felt.
Harry didn't look at them. He kept his head down, holding his tongue. It would do no good to fight with them. This was his fault. Even though he had tried to be so careful he had still somehow managed to get himself addicted.
"Harry?"
Harry sighed and looked up to meet his mother's gaze. The emotionless mask drifted into place without him consciously aware.
"What?" he asked.
"Are you going to tell us how this happened? What compelled you to keep taking that potion and not come to any of us for help?" Lily asked again.
Harry rubbed at his head. His headache had come back with a vengeance.
"What do you want me to say?" Harry asked, looking at them blankly.
"Drop the attitude, Harry!" James snapped, unable to hold back the anger any longer.
In response, Harry only looked at him before dropping his gaze.
"Dad…" he started.
But James wasn't ready to listen to him. He stood up and started pacing the floor, hands shaking at his sides.
"I can't believe this! How stupid can you be, Harry? Everyone, absolutely everyone knows the dangers of overdosing! The youngest first year could tell you how dangerous addiction can be but you just went ahead and decided that normal laws don't apply to you!" James was beside himself with fury.
"James, please…" Lily started but was cut off again.
"Don't, Lily! Don't bother taking his side. There is no excuse for his behaviour!" James stopped his pacing and glared directly at Harry. "You act like you know everything about magic! You don't bother paying attention in any class and take every opportunity to show off your knowledge. Explain to me how you didn't know what overdosing could do to you!" James demanded.
Harry was surprisingly sitting quietly. His anger was boiling furiously inside him but he kept his mouth clamped shut. James had every right to be angry with him. He was right. For someone who claimed to have better knowledge than most regarding most aspects of magic, Harry had really messed up.
"I still don't know how it happened." Harry said after a few moments.
"How it happened!?!" James erupted again. "For Merlin's sake, Harry! You took the potion nearly every night! Didn't that strike you as excessive?" he asked.
Harry glared up at James, desperately trying to control his temper.
"I didn't take it every night! I only took it when I needed it. And if I did need to take it for a few nights at a time I always gave myself two weeks break!" Harry shouted back.
"Stop it, Harry! Stop lying! You have to admit what you did. You did take the potion every night. That explains the addiction!" James yelled at him.
Harry glared at him.
"If you've already decided what I did or not do then I don't really need to be here. I really appreciate your support at a time like this but I think I'll just leave now!" Harry got up to head for the door but Lily grabbed his arm before he could leave.
"Harry, please sit down." she said. Harry would have left but the pleading look in his mother's eyes made him sit down.
Lily turned to face James.
"If you're going to act like this you can leave!" she told him heatedly.
James stared at her but something in her eyes made him calm down and sank into the nearest chair, holding his head.
Lily sat next to Harry, emerald eyes fixed at her son's tired looking face.
"Harry, please. Be honest with us. What's done is done. There's no point denying it now." She tried.
Harry shook his head in response.
"I'm not lying. I didn't take the potion every night." he argued back. Lily decided not to fight this point. It wouldn't change anything.
"Okay, fine. I believe you." she said tiredly even though it was clear from her tone that she didn't. "I want you to understand that no matter what happens, you can't take the potion again. Understand?"
Finally Harry snapped.
"Okay! God, I get it! You don't have to keep drumming that into my head. I'm not a bloody kid!" he yelled.
"Well, you're certainly not an adult! You don't act like one!" James snapped.
"James, please…" Lily tried but was cut off.
"I wasn't talking to you!" Harry spat, his temper well and truly out of control now.
"I thought I told you to drop the attitude! You're in no position to act like this. You haven't even acknowledged the fact that you made a mistake! A mistake that you could very well pay for with your life!" James was on his feet by now, glaring at Harry.
"What the hell do you want me to say? I messed up! I'm only human and I made a mistake! I'm not denying it!" Harry spat back, on his feet now as well.
"A mistake? You seriously regard this as a mistake? A mistake is done unknowingly. You knew what an overdose would do and yet you failed to stay away from the potion or come to us for help!" James said.
"I don't need your help!" Harry hissed through clenched teeth.
Lily cut across James and spoke to Harry.
"Yes you do! This is a clear example that you can't deal with everything on your own. I know you weren't taking the potion because of the taste. You were taking it because you couldn't sleep! Because you were suffering from nightmares and I can tell that you are still suffering!"
Harry opened his mouth to argue but nothing came out. He couldn't disagree with her.
"You have to let us in, Harry. You have to let us help you." Lily forced the words out gently, fighting the tears to stay at bay.
Harry shook his head, looking away from her. He couldn't talk about Voldemort. He couldn't explain all the complicated feelings he still had. He couldn't understand them himself so how could he possibly make someone else understand.
James saw Harry shake his head and lost his temper completely.
"You can disagree all you want! You're not in control anymore. We are. If you're going to put your health at risk then we'll have to step in and take control." James told him angrily.
Harry looked at his dad incredulously.
"Take control?" he asked, his emerald eyes flaring up at once at the words.
Suddenly Harry tore his way across the room.
"Harry! Harry stop!" James yelled as Harry ripped the door open and rushed out. James and Lily ran after Harry.
"Where are you going?" Lily called after him.
Harry stopped in his tracks and looked over at her. His eyes were swimming with anger and hurt.
"I can't deal with all this right now. I've had enough!"
With that said, Harry disapparated from Hogwarts, leaving his shell shocked parents standing alone in the corridor.
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