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Chapter Twenty
Dumbledore tried to calm down the two panicked adults before him. They were both out of their minds with worry. James wasn't even pacing the length of the room but just standing rooted to the spot near the door. That just showed how worried he was. Lily was also standing next to him, eyes red and puffy from crying.
"Both of you sit down. You have to calm down." Dumbledore watched as the two parents sat down but their faces were still tight with distress.
Dumbledore could understand why. Not only had Harry walked out on them, yet again, he also showed them something that could potentially land Harry in very serious trouble.
Dumbledore had his suspicions that Harry could manipulate the powerful wards surrounding Hogwarts, ever since Harry had flooed to attend Bella's funeral. Dumbledore didn't want to say anything about it or look into it more thoroughly. As inquisitive as he was about this remarkable power, Dumbledore didn't want to draw any unwanted attention towards Harry's powers. Especially after the so-called Dark Prince started attacking. One of the things saving Harry from the blame was the fact that at the times of these attacks, Harry was at Hogwarts. Everyone knew and believed that no one could apparate whilst inside Hogwarts. If the truth about Harry's abilities came out…well, it was safe to assume it would wreak havoc and Harry would find himself in the Ministry's custody in no time.
Dumbledore explained this very thing to James and Lily. He knew the parents wouldn't tell anyone but he had to enforce the seriousness of the issue.
"Hero or no hero, the Ministry would pin the Dark Prince attacks on Harry in a heartbeat. I am regretful to say that ever since the Valentine's Day attack, Fudge is even more fearful of Harry than before. Fear can only lead to him do one thing if the blame falls on Harry. He'll happily lock him away if he thinks that will keep him and others safe."
Both James and Lily held their breaths at that news. James knew that Fudge was never really on Harry's side in the first place. He was only staying away from Harry because of two things. First was fear and the second was Dumbledore.
"But, Dumbledore, I don't understand how he can manipulate the wards in the first place. I thought that was impossible." James asked, trying to distract his mind from the more pressing issues like Harry's whereabouts.
Dumbledore let out a sigh before answering.
"It's hard to explain. I told you once that Harry was the heir to two ancestral lines. Gryffindor and Slytherin." James and Lily couldn't help flinch at the mention of the second one. "I told you that once Harry came of age his powers would be legendary. I think this is a prime example of his powers."
James opened his mouth to ask another question but then shut it again. He couldn't think clearly right now. He wanted to ask Dumbledore's help, anyone's help in finding Harry, in dealing with Harry and his addiction. But James knew that Dumbledore couldn't help him. He would have to try and figure this out between Lily and himself.
"Don't tell anyone that Harry is away. I'll tell the Professors he's ill and needs to be looked after for a few days. Hopefully Harry will come back in time and no one will have to know he was away." Dumbledore was saying.
"What do we tell Damien and his friends?" Lily asked looking at the Headmaster as if he were mad.
"Tell them anything they will believe. If they find out that Harry's missing the news will spread. The Ministry will get suspicious as to why he left and where he went. Since we don't know when Harry will be back, we can't take any risks." Dumbledore explained.
James and Lily knew it was futile to hide the truth from Damien. James agreed with Dumbledore though. He didn't want Damien to know Harry had left. The fourteen year old depended on his brother too much. There was no saying how Damien would react.
James wished for the hundredth time he had not said those awful words to Harry. Why did he have to lose his temper with him? If he had kept his temper in check, they wouldn't be in this mess.
As soon as James and Lily left the Headmaster's office, James headed to Potter Manor. A faint hope that Harry may have gone to the Manor to cool off. He came back after an hour, shaking his head sadly at Lily. Harry wasn't there. Where could he be?
He prayed that Harry came back quickly. He couldn't deal his son's disappearance for much longer.
xxx
Remus was startled when there was a knock on his door. He grabbed his wand from the table and headed towards his front door. He lived alone in the small cottage and any visitors he had usually came by the floo. He didn't know any muggles that would come knocking at his door.
Remus opened the door cautiously and was more than surprised to see Harry standing at his door.
"Harry?"
Remus looked at the drained looking boy and found his heart speed up. What had happened? Why was Harry here?
"Can I come in?" Harry asked, his voice tired and defeated.
"Sure, Harry." he moved to let Harry come inside.
Harry walked inside and immediately collapsed onto the sofa, the pain in his head escalating so much it made him feel sick. Remus was at his side instantly.
"What is it, Harry? What's wrong?" he asked in concern.
"It's just a headache." Harry said willing himself not to throw up.
Remus went to his potion cabinet and pulled out a vial of pain relief. He handed it to Harry who drank it instantly.
Remus sat down opposite Harry and waited for him to explain why he was away from Hogwarts and what was wrong. After a few minutes of silence he realised that Harry was not going to explain anything.
"Have you had lunch yet?" he asked the raven haired boy.
Harry looked up at him, his bloodshot eyes focusing on the werewolf.
"No" he answered.
Remus got up, a smile on his face.
"I'll just whip something up. It's been a while since I've had someone over. Just give me a few minutes."
Harry managed a weak smile as Remus disappeared into the next room, probably the kitchen. Harry leaned back and rested his head, closing his eyes and savouring the first few moments of relief from his headache. He jumped slightly as his stomach growled loudly as the scent of food wafted over to him. He realised that he was in fact very, very hungry.
xxx
"So where did he go?" Damien asked again.
Lily felt her patience slip away at the constant questioning.
"Damien, I told you. He's with you dad. They were talking about something to do with the new Auror training and you dad wanted to show Harry the new defence material. They went to Diagon alley. They'll be back soon." Lily hoped Harry would come back soon. He had never left for more than a few hours. Hopefully he would be back by dinner time.
Damien looked at his mum with a sceptical look.
"Why didn't they take me with them?" he asked
"I don't know, sweetheart. Maybe they thought you wouldn't be interested." Lily said absentmindedly.
Damien looked at his mum with surprise.
"That makes no sense! Why wouldn't I be interested?"
"Damien, please. I don't know! Please just go." Lily said trying hard not to break down.
Damien immediately knew something was wrong.
"Mum? What's wrong? Why are you upset? What happened?" he asked at once but Lily shook her head and pushed back her tears.
"Nothing's wrong. I'm just really tired and I have a headache." She wasn't lying. The tension headache she had was killing her.
Damien knew something was wrong. He stayed with his mum trying to get her to open up but she refused. Finally, he left, casting a wary glance over at his mum's distressed looking figure.
xxx
The food was great but Harry found he could only manage to eat a small amount. He was hungry but a few mouthfuls were all he needed to feel full. Remus didn't comment but continued with the small talk as he finished his meal. Harry was quiet and didn't interrupt while Remus carried the conversation.
It was only when Remus had run out of things to talk about that Harry spoke.
"Aren't you going to ask me why I'm here?"
Remus studied the boy's sullen eyes before speaking.
"I figured you would tell me when you wanted to." He answered. "I may not be your Godfather, but I don't see any difference between you and Damien. You would always be welcome here, no explanation is necessary."
Maybe that was all Harry needed to hear. That he wasn't any different to his younger carefree brother. That he was going to be treated like family, true family. No explanations, no reasoning. The way he used to be with his father. Maybe it was this that made Harry open his heart and pour out everything that had happened to him the last few months.
He told Remus everything. He told him about the sleepless nights, the Dreamless sleep potion, the addiction, how his parents reacted and he finally he told him what James had said to drive him away.
"…take control. That's what he said to me! After everything I went through. Dad turns around to me and says he'll take control of me!" Harry finished angrily.
Remus had stayed silent throughout all of this. He wanted Harry to get everything off his chest. He noticed straight away that although Harry mentioned he couldn't sleep because of nightmares, he didn't explain what those nightmares were. He spoke about everything else in detail except for what was keeping him up at nights.
At hearing what his best friend had stupidly said, Remus felt a growing compassion for Harry and an equally growing annoyance at James. He should really think about what he was saying.
"I'm sure he didn't mean it like that, Harry. James would never want to control you." Remus said after Harry had finished.
Harry cocked up an eyebrow at him.
"How did he mean it then? To me there is only one understanding of the word control!" he said angrily.
Remus sighed and ran a hand through his hair.
"James is an idiot. A royal idiot at times but he's not going to control you. He probably meant he was going to make sure you got better from your addiction. He was referring to controlling your health issue not your actions."
Harry didn't respond. Deep down he knew that as well. He knew James wasn't like Dumbledore or like Voldemort. Both of them wanted to control him. Voldemort had been controlling him all his life. James wouldn't do that.
"I know, but at the time he said it, it was like an explosion went off inside of me. I couldn't believe he would say that to me. Use those actual words! All my life I was controlled. Everything I did, whether I was aware of it or not, was controlled by Voldemort! That was what I was to him! Just a soldier to control! A pawn in his game! It's what bothers me to this day that I couldn't see I was being used! I didn't think that my dad would say something so insulting to me." Harry's voice was choked with emotions. He was angry, annoyed, upset and hurt all at the same time.
Remus talked to Harry for a few hours, calming him down and explaining that James truly didn't mean anything by what he said. It was just an unfortunate use of words.
"Do you want to go back? I'll come with you if you want." Remus asked after Harry had calmed down.
Harry shook his head tiredly.
"Not yet. Maybe in the morning. I don't know yet. I'm really angry with him. I don't know if I'll be able to stop myself from cursing him if I see him." He said, his face screwed up in annoyance.
Remus smiled at Harry's expression.
"No, I don't think that would be a good start to patch things up." he joked.
Harry laughed as well but then suddenly realised what he had said. He looked horror stricken for a moment. He looked at Remus whose smile slipped of his face at seeing Harry's expression
"I shouldn't have said that. That was dumb of me. I shouldn't have said that." Harry bit his bottom lip and squeezed his eyes shut, like he was trying to keep a memory from resurfacing.
"Harry, what's wrong? You were only joking." Remus asked, not catching on why Harry got upset at his own statement.
Harry looked at Remus, a haunted look in his eyes.
"I've not forgotten all I did to him last year. I…I nearly…killed him." he whispered.
Remus suddenly felt very foolish. He should have remembered that. He got up and walked over to the floo.
"I better go and tell your dad you're safe. He'll be searching everywhere for you."
Harry nodded his head before pulling his robes tightly around himself. He was suddenly feeling very cold. 'Damn withdrawals!' he muttered to himself as his body began aching. He watched as Remus walked into the green flames, calling out the name of a pub. 'It's probably in Hogsmeade' Harry thought as his eyes slipped shut of their own accord.
xxx
When Remus finally arrived at Hogwarts, it was starting to get dark. Remus hurried inside and headed straight for James' room. He went inside to find James in an argument with Damien.
"Have you not had enough fighting with one son today that you have to start with the other one too?" he commented as he walked into the room.
The three occupants swirled around to face him.
"Uncle Moony!" Damien came running towards him. "Dad won't tell me where Harry is! Mum said they both went to Diagon alley but they obviously didn't! They won't tell me what happened!" he said, close to tears at this point.
Remus gave both James and Lily a stern look before turning his eyes to the dark haired boy before him.
"Harry's fine. He's with me, actually."
James and Lily both looked like they could collapse with relief.
"Why is he with you?" Damien asked a note of concern in his voice. Damien knew that Harry would only go to Remus' if there was a problem or a good reason.
Remus looked at James fixedly.
"I think your dad can explain that to you."
James looked taken aback by that statement and stared at his friend. Remus turned to Damien again.
"I need to speak to your parents. I'm sure they'll explain what happened after I leave."
Damien didn't want to leave but he knew that Remus wouldn't talk with him in the room so he begrudgingly left, promising his parents he would be back within the hour to find out the truth.
As soon as he left, Remus turned on James. He told him how Harry had appeared at his front door. He relayed everything Harry had told him. He berated James for his treatment of Harry, especially after learning about his health. The words James had spoken to Harry at the end were just appalling.
"I didn't mean it like that! I swear to God! I can't believe Harry thought I meant I was going to…oh, this is insane! Moony, you know I would never treat Harry like…like…he did!" James exclaimed.
"It doesn't matter what I know. The point is Harry doesn't know. James, you have to admit that Harry doesn't know you. He's still getting to know you and what you are or are not capable of is unknown to him." Remus explained.
Lily had sat down, head held in her hands.
"Is he okay?" she asked gently.
Remus looked over at her. His eyes softening as they took in her shaking form.
"He's fine. He's just got himself worked up. Once he's calm he'll come back." He said gently.
"What do you mean? Harry has to come back right now." James said, heading straight for the door. "I have to talk to him. I have to explain what I meant. I still have to speak to him regarding his addiction. This is serious and I need to talk to him about it." James explained as he got ready to leave with Remus.
"James, you can't…" Remus started but was cut off.
"Moony, I'm coming with you. If Harry is upset with me, I need to apologise. I need him back here. I can't tell you how strange it is to be away from him now." James said.
Remus backed down at that.
"Alright. But no arguing! Both of you are too similar. Your similar personalities mean that neither of you back down when in an argument. But you're the father so keep a tight grip on your temper." Remus said sternly.
James nodded his head in agreement. Remus was the only one who James would listen to seriously.
Both men left while Lily was left to deal with Damien and his questions.
xxx
Harry groggily opened his eyes. The unfamiliar surroundings confused him before he remembered that he was with Remus. He struggled to sit up but found he couldn't really move. His body felt heavy and sore. 'Strange' he thought to himself. His mind was fogged up and he wasn't quite fully awake yet. He rested his head back down and took a few deep breaths in an attempt to wake himself up. He heard the sound of footsteps and he forced his eyes to open. He saw his dad standing over him, looking at him.
"Dad?" he asked groggily.
James moved closer to Harry and knelt down so that he was only a few inches away. His eyes scanned Harry's face with such intensity that it made Harry recoil.
"Dad, why are you looking at me like that?" Harry asked in his scratchy voice.
James didn't answer. He straightened up and pulled something out of his robes. Harry's eyes widened as he saw James pull out his wand. A whispered incantation and the tip of the wand started glowing red before a small flame leapt out from it.
Harry tried to get up and realised with a horrid jolt that he was tied down. There were bonds across his wrists and ankles, effectively pinning him to the sofa.
"W-what's going on?" he asked panicked, pulling at the bonds in an effort to get free. "Dad! What are you doing?" he shouted, eyeing the wand with the flickering flame.
"Something I should have done long ago." James replied in a cold tone.
Harry started pulling at the bonds, trying desperately to get free. He didn't understand what was happening. Why was his dad acting like this?
"I should have taken control long ago. I was foolish to let you think you could do as you please." James continued making Harry's heart leap in his chest.
"Dad, please. Stop it!" Harry yelled, feeling awfully weak. Maybe his dad was only freaking him out as a way to punish him for walking out.
James moved closer, holding the wand threateningly close to Harry's restrained hand.
"You don't like being burned, do you, Harry?" he asked cruelly.
Harry's heart leapt at the words. How could his dad say something like that? How could he threaten him like that? This wasn't remotely funny.
"Let me go!" Harry yelled, anger and fear simultaneously pulsing through him.
James' hand connected with Harry's cheek, making Harry's head whip to the side. Harry looked at James in pained shock. He had hit him! His cheek burned from the blow. Suddenly James had grabbed Harry by the hair and brutally pulled his head back, while glaring at him. Harry was so shocked he couldn't even gasp in pain.
"I've had enough of you!" James snapped, tightening his grip in Harry's hair. "You've forgotten how to speak to your elders! Don't worry, I'll teach you again."
He moved his lit wand closer to Harry's hand and Harry let out a pained gasp as he felt the intensifying heat. The flame was dangerously close to his hand but wasn't touching the skin yet.
"Dad, please don't!" Harry whimpered, the words leaving him painfully.
James smirked at Harry, a smirk that Harry had never seen on his face before.
"Beg for mercy, Harry!" he said cruelly.
Harry shut his eyes in fear. Those were the words Harry had grown up with. In his all 'Potter' memories he remembered, his dad telling him to ask for mercy, to beg for it. He was usually punished regardless of whether he begged or not.
This was the worst thing his dad could say to him. 'But wait' a voice in his head said. 'That wasn't your dad that used to hurt you, that was Voldemort. Your dad doesn't know what happened to you.' Harry's eyes snapped open. This wasn't his dad. This wasn't James. He could never do something like this to him. And that was when he saw it. He saw James' hazel eyes growing fiercer. The hazel brown colour changed and became red, blood red.
'I'm dreaming!' Harry realised with a jolt. This wasn't happening. It was a dream. He felt the heat near his hand diminish and he found he could move again. He stared up at the face that still resembled James Potter but had Voldemorts ruby coloured eyes.
"Well done, Mr Potter!" Voldemort hissed at him as Harry felt himself being pulled violently away from the dream.
Harry woke up with a strangled yell and at once tried to sit up. The blanket that Remus had draped over him when he found him asleep had become tangled around him when he was having the nightmare. It was restricting him, making it impossible to get up.
"Harry!"
Harry looked up, eyes blurred by tears he wasn't aware of shedding. He saw the blurry outline of his dad and his heart leapt into his mouth. His horrifying dream still fresh in his mind made Harry recoil away from James' helping hands. James moved away, hurt by Harry's reaction. Harry managed to untangle himself from the blanket and quickly threw it away from himself. His breathing was erratic and his hair was sticking to his head from cold sweat. He hesitantly looked at James but found he couldn't look at him and not think about the recent dream, so he looked away.
The memory of the nightmare made bile rise in his throat. Without saying a word to the worried father, Harry bolted from the room heading to the bathroom. He made it just in time and threw up the food he had eaten earlier with Remus. He was shaking all over. His head pounding making him feel sicker.
"Harry?" James' voice called to him from behind the closed door.
"Go away!" Harry didn't mean to say it harshly but his scratchy throat made the request sound more like an instruction.
"Harry, I just want to see if you're okay!" James pleaded outside. Worry lacing his words.
"Just go, just go from here!" Harry said again, holding his head, willing the images of the horrid nightmare to go away. He couldn't face James just now. He just couldn't.
James turned from the door. His fingers itching to pull open the door and see for himself if his son was okay. He felt a hand on his shoulder and turned to see Remus.
"Maybe you should go. He's obviously not up to seeing you." Remus said sadly. He had thought that Harry would talk to James. Especially after how guilty Harry was feeling about how he had treated James last year.
James nodded his head miserably and left, not wanting to break down in front of his friend. He couldn't deal with Harry running away from him. He wanted to be close to Harry. Like the way he was with Damien. He walked slowly back to Hogwarts, wondering if Harry would ever have the close relationship with him that he craved so badly.
xxx
Damien hardly touched his food at breakfast. His mum had told him everything last night, after Remus had left. She told him about Harry's addiction to the sleeping potion, the argument between them and Harry's abrupt departure. Damien had to keep repeating the mantra 'he'll come back, he'll come back' over and over again in his head. It was the only thing keeping him sane right now. He had to tell the others about Harry as well, as Ginny was going berserk at Harry's disappearance. All four had sat silently after learning of Harry's addiction. Ron had looked a bit green.
"Don't worry, Damy. I'll look up everything there is on addiction and recovery. Harry will be fine." she had said to cheer him up.
At the moment, all four were sitting at the Gryffindor table. The students kept on questioning Harry's absence. The four kept on repeating that Harry was ill and was in the hospital wing. Poppy had even put up a curtained section, going along with the illusion that Harry was there.
Damien looked up to the staff table to see his mum and dad looking as miserable as they did last year. His dad had clearly not slept last night. His red and puffy looking eyes showed how upset he was. Damien had gone to see him this morning before breakfast. He hadn't seen him last night and had actually gone there to yell at him for driving Harry away. However, at seeing his dad so miserable, Damien decided not to say anything.
James had just flooed to speak to Remus. He wanted to know if Harry would be coming back today. Remus had told him he didn't think so. Harry was really, really upset over something. After James had left last night, Harry had eventually come out of the bathroom. He looked really ill. He told Remus he was going outside, he needed to clear his head. He hadn't come back until six in the morning. He wouldn't say where he went but had looked really exhausted.
James sat, deep in thought, wondering where Harry might have gone. Just as he reached for the jug of milk, a screeching sound filled the air. He looked up to see the owls flying in to deliver the morning mail.
Somehow he knew what had happened even before the newspaper hit the table. He had that terrible sense of foreboding. The horrified gasps that echoed around the hall as the newspaper was read confirmed James' fears.
The Dark Prince had attacked yet again, and this time he had killed one hundred and seventy people, most of them were muggleborns.
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