This one-shot is a sort of AU take on Piper leaving Alex in Paris. I felt that with the show, we didn't really get to see a whole lot of their actual break up and I imagine that there was a lot more too it than what we saw. I also wanted to explore what could have happened had Alex went after Piper. I've read lots of stories where Piper has been the one to go after Alex so I thought that I'd switch it up. I was a little skeptical of this one and still am so feedback would be much appreciated! Also please keep in mind that I wrote this rather quickly and very late at night so I apologize in advance for any spelling or grammatical errors, as I am sure that there are many.

Also I own nothing in regards to the characters.

Numbness overtakes her body as her eyes shut tightly, tirelessly attempting to fight back the tears that gently began to slide down her pale cheeks. She has never felt so weak, so vulnerable, in her entire life.

Alex Vause isn't the type of woman to display emotions. She has a hard exterior, masked by confidence and an air of superiority. But, on the inside, she is soft and vulnerable, full of emotions bubbling at the surface and just waiting to escape.

She clutches the bottle tighter to her chest, taking another violent swig, the alcohol burning her insides in the most desirable of ways. This was her coping mechanism. Whenever life got hard, whenever she was so fucking stressed, whenever she was running from something that scared the hell out of her, that was when she drank excessively. To avoid feeling any emotions.

But, for the first time in her life, it wasn't working.

All she could think about was the blonde that she had let go.

Her mother was dead. The love of her life had escape beneath her fingers.

She had nothing.

Yet, the only thing on her mind was the blonde who had massacred her heart.

She still felt. She still craved and yearned. It didn't matter how many meaningless one night stands she had, nothing could ever fill the void in her heart that Piper had left when she exited that hotel room.

Flashback

"Alex, I can't be your girlfriend anymore…"

The words ring through her mind like a film reel on repeat.

She stares out the window harshly, watching the rain pour down on the asphalt. All signs of any emotion seemed to be void from the dark-haired beauty's lifeless eyes.

Her whole world has just come crashing down around her.

"Alex… Hello..." Piper was waving her hand in front of Alex's face. "Earth to Alex."

"What?" Alex snaps, her eyes darkening as they bore into Piper's.

"I said I can't be…"

"I know what you fucking said Piper," Alex cuts in harshly, her eyes continuing to stare into the rain that pelts the streets of Paris below them.

"Al…"

"I can't fucking believe you."

"You have to understand why I'm doing this Alex. It what's best for us. We are bad for each other, like really fucking bad for each other. An unhealthy addiction if you will…" Piper's voice was firm but her eyes were full of regret and sorrow, perfectly capturing the emotions that she was feeling.

"Then leave. Get out. I don't fucking care," Alex lies, brushing Piper off with the wave of her hand. "Go live your boring ass life."

"You know what your problem is Alex?" Alex opens her mouth to respond but Piper doesn't even give her a chance to answer. "You have done everything in your power to sabotage this relationship because you're afraid of feeling. You're afraid of the way that I make you feel," Piper dares, challenging Alex with her eyes. She is standing dangerously close to Alex right now.

"Is that what you think it is?" she snorts with an irritated chuckle. "You're the one breaking up with me… I love you Piper, and yes, it scares the fucking hell out of me because I have never felt the way that I feel about you with anyone else before. I opened my heart up to you and gave you everything that I fucking had because you were different than the others. I am who I am Piper and I change for no one. You knew what you were getting into when you entered this relationship." The words are cold and harsh as they flow from her mouth. "I thought you were different but you're not… you're just the same as the others."

"I can't do this anymore, Alex. I am so sick and tired of fighting with you. I am so sick and tired of coming second to your work, which is highly illegal and very dangerous might I add, and I am so sick and tired of you looking for ways to guard yourself from me. You keep pushing me away and refusing to let me in!"

Alex doesn't say anything for a moment. Silence consumes them as Alex continues to stare blankly out the window. This all seems so unreal.

"What do you want from me Piper?"

Piper takes in a deep breath and exhales. "What do I want from you Alex? I want you to fight for me, for us! When I picture my life in five years, I want to be settled down, maybe with a family. My vision for the future is so different than yours, Al. But, yet, I always imagined that in five years it would be you that I settled down with. And, I still want that, but we can't… I mean we can't do that with the job that you have and the life that we are living right now. It's time to snap out of this fairy-tale and back to reality. But, you…" she shakes her finger daringly at Alex, her hazel orbs growing cold. "You don't want to fight for our love. And that makes me doubt our future together."

It all happened so fast. One minute they were together and in love. Then the next minute, they were fighting and their passionate love affair was over, soon to be faded to dust.

"I can't do this right now," Piper mutters breathlessly, a tear escaping the corner of her eye. She looks at Alex pleadingly, as if to give the brunette one more chance to make things right.

Alex doesn't move.

Piper does.

She's out the door, presumably to grab a breath of fresh air and probably book herself a plane ticket back to the United States.

The next few hours are hell.

Alex finds out that her mom has just passed away. That is exactly what she needed to hear on top of the love of her fucking life leaving her. God, the world was a cruel and cold place. What the hell did she ever do to deserve this kind of pain?

When Piper returns she informs Alex, more calmly this time, that she is still leaving… even though Alex's mom is dead.

Alex can't fucking believe her.

She fucking hates Piper Chapman.

And then, without mercy, Piper Chapman leaves. She exits Alex's life just as quickly and messily as she had entered it all of those years ago.

End Flashback

It's been six months. The most torturous six months of her life.

Although dealing with emotions has never been her strong suit, Alex Vause knows that she has to make things right.

She has to see if there is still a spark between them.

She is ready to let Piper Chapman all the way in. Because, Piper is the only person that she can even imagine spending the rest of her life with. And she is miserable without her.

Hands shaking, Alex picks up her phone, closing her eyes tightly and letting a deep breath escape her lips, before blinking her eyes open. She has to end this all. It's the only way that she will be able to live her life again.

She's tired of feeling empty.

She's tired of living yet being dead on the inside.

She's on a plane… a plane that is heading back to the United States. She stares out the window deadly, her heart nearly thumping out of her chest as the plane nears its landing.

Kubra wasn't happy with her. He made sure that Alex knew this when she gave her resignation. Leaving the drug cartel was hard. Because, working for an international drug cartel is like selling your soul to the devil. But, Alex had been one of his top importers for such a long time that he made it a little easier on her. She was able to pay him out and walk away safely.

Alex is standing outside of Piper's apartment, nervously jamming her hands in the pockets of her skinny jeans and tightly pulling her leather jacket against her chest. She feels like a nervous teenager falling in love for the first time.

Alex had managed to track Polly down and after much convincing, retrieved Piper's address.

She knew that Polly disliked her. But, Piper must have been miserable without her too, otherwise Polly wouldn't have given her the crumpled up piece of paper with Piper's address scrawled in loopy handwriting across it.

This was it. The moment of truth.

It was late and she felt bad for imposing. But, she didn't know what else to do. She was so broken. And she needed to know if Piper was too.

Her hands were shaking uncontrollably as she lifted her hand and pressed her knuckles against the wooden door.

Alex tapped her foot impatiently as she waited. A few minutes passed and Alex sighed… maybe it wasn't meant to be.

As she was about to turn and leave, the sound of light footsteps stopped her dead in her tracks. The sound of the lock jingling filled her ears and soon the door was pushed open.

Piper stood on the other side, clad in her pyjamas, looking just as beautiful as the day that she had left Alex in Paris.

Alex had replayed this moment over and over in her head on the plane. And now here she was, standing a few feet away from the woman who had ripped her heart out and stomped on it.

Piper looked tired; her eyes sunken, dark circles gathering underneath them. Her golden blond locks stood up in every direction and she did not look impressed.

Alex let out a small breath; one that she hadn't even realized she'd been holding.

"A-Alex… W-what the fuck are y-you doing h-here?" the blonde stutters sleepily. For a second, Piper thinks that she might be hallucinating, with the lack of the sleep she's had.

"Pipes…" she whispers, reaching forward and tangling her fingers in the blonde hair, resting her head against her chest, which is beating rapidly at the moment.

"No!" Piper shakes her head furiously and pulls away. "You don't get to do this… You don't get to show up on my door step at two o'clock in the morning after six months of nothing."

"I need you," Alex whispers breathlessly, emotion swirling in the depths of her dark green eyes. "I love you. I'm sorry… fuck Pipes… "

"Alex I can't do this. I'm sorry," Piper whispers, tears flowing from her eyes as she goes to shut the door.

Alex blocks the door with her hand. "I'm done," she whispers. "I quit the cartel."

"What?" Piper looks at her with wide eyes.

"I'm really fucking good at moving large amounts of heroin. And I loved my life, I really did," a ghost of a smile appears on her face. "But, none of it is worth it without you. My life… it has no purpose without you in it. And I am always a better person when I'm with you."

"Alex, you can't…" Piper backs away slowly when she sees Alex coming towards her. "You can't come to my house after six months without a word and tell me those things. You just can't!"

"I tried so hard to forget about you Piper," Alex whispers quietly. "I tried so fucking hard. I threw myself at every woman that I could but I never felt anything. None of them were even remotely close to being you. I started drinking heavily because then I could temporarily forget about you and the hole you stabbed right through the middle of my fucking heart. Then, I turned to heroin. I hated the drug but I loved the high. It was the best girlfriend I ever had because it never fucked me over and it always made me feel better…"

"You turned to heroin?" Piper looks at her incredulously. "Jesus Alex… you know how bad that shit is for you."

"Yeah, well… I was really fucked up. I didn't know what else to do Pipes. I have been a complete mess these past six months. I've barely had the motivation to get out of bed most days…"

"Alex, I'm sorry that I hurt you. I really am… But you have to understand why I did what I had to do. We are so bad for each other Alex and we always hurt each other. It wasn't right to stay with each other when all we did was fight and hurt one another. I couldn't be in a relationship like that and neither could you… even if you can't see it right now."

Alex can see the pain that hides behind Piper's hazel orbs. "I fucked up, I know that. I did some pretty shitty things and I'm sorry. But, I always loved you Piper. And I always will. I'm sorry that I could never be the woman that you wanted me to be." In her heart Alex knows that she probably never deserved someone like Piper. But she wants to try and live up to that expectation. She wants to be that woman that deserves to be loved by someone like Piper.

"I'm sorry this was a mistake, I should go…" Alex mutters embarrassedly, her eyes casting a glance at the ground, when Piper doesn't respond. She rests her hand gently on Piper's cheek. "Take care of yourself Kid… and remember that I'll always love you."

"Alex…" Piper's eyes soften as she grabs Alex's wrist and examines it with her eyes. "Wait… What… what is this?" she hesitates, running her fingers along the scars that adorn Alex's arm.

"Like I said… I'm sorry I couldn't be the woman that you wanted me to be."

"I just wanted you to be yourself Alex…" Piper whispers. "I wanted you to be real with me and stop hiding behind that stupid hard ass exterior you put up. Because, when those walls broke down, the person behind them was simply amazing…"

As she stared into Alex's eyes, Piper could see just how badly she had broken the brunette. "I missed you…" she whispered. "more than you'll ever know. And, it means so much to me that you gave up the life that you loved for me. That's all I ever wanted for you. I couldn't stand to see you ruining your life anymore." Alex nods silently. "The truth is… I missed you every day that we were apart, Al. I never stopped thinking about, and I sure as hell never stopped loving you either."

"Pipes, do you think there's a chance that we could ever… you know… be together again?" Alex hesitates slowly. She sounds so vulnerable and Piper thinks that it's absolutely beautiful.

"Sometimes when you love someone you have to set them free and if they come back to you then you know it's meant to be," Piper smiles, taking Alex's hand with her own. "I think that we have a long way to go before we get back to the way things used to be. But, I do believe that you came into my life for a reason, and I also think that you came back into my life for a reason too."

The two ex-lovers stand there for a brief moment, staring at one another, the spark that once burned so immensely between them starting to ignite again.

"Fix me," Alex whispers, closing her eyes tightly and letting herself fall into Piper's embrace. "I'm so broken…"

"Okay," Piper whispers without fail.

Alex sighs as she feels the tears gently slide down her cheeks. She has never felt more comfortable in her life. She has completely stripped her soul and let Piper see the broken parts of her that she usually conceals.

She doesn't know what will happen to them in the future but she'd like to think that they will be okay. They have to be. They've already been through more in five short years than most people go through in a lifetime.

Everything in life happens for a reason. Every heart ache is meant to make you stronger and every mistake is meant to teach you a lesson.

If anything, Piper taught her the immensity and the meaning of love.

So much angst! I promise that I have two works in the process that are a lot fluffier. I know that I haven't updated in so long but I recently started a new job that is very stressful and requires me to work insanely long hours so I just won't have the time to update as frequently as I would like. However, I will do my best to update as frequently as I can! Both of the one-shots I'm currently working on are fairly close to being done so y'all can expect some much quicker updates, I'm hoping, as I have some days off coming up and will have some time to finish those up! Thanks for being patient with me guys, and don't forget to review, as it serves as motivation and helps me update even quicker!