A/N: Sundays seem to be the days for updates lately, so I'm trying to keep this posting schedule.
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Chapter Twelve: Zero
Tony sighed and shifted in his cheap plastic chair. He was hurting all over, he was stiff but he still didn't want to leave the hospital room for only one second. He was scared shitless just thinking about it. It wasn't even the worry about Gibbs taking his time to wake up or that something could happen while Tony was gone. No, it was because he simply didn't want to meet people. He was scared of being wrong about Gibbs, was scared of meeting that one person he was supposed to be with right at that moment when he thought he finally realized that Gibbs had to be the one.
It wasn't like he was suddenly having the hots for him because he wasn't. He didn't just want to jump him, it was something much more profound than that. Not that the thought of having actual sex with Gibbs was revolting. He had just never thought about it. It didn't matter at the moment anyway. All what Tony wanted to do was sit there on this uncomfortable chair and wait for Gibbs to finally wake up – and pray to God that nobody would show up, making his soul mate nightmare come true.
So Tony sat – and waited.
It took nearly three more hours before Gibbs finally opened his eyes for the second time since he had been out of surgery. His blue eyes darted across the room for a few moments before they settled on Tony who had sat up a little straighter when he realized that the other man was about to wake up.
"Hey," he just said, giving his boss a small smile. "How you feeling?"
"Groggy," Gibbs replied, blinking away the remainders of his sleep. "How long have I been out?"
"Almost four hours actually. You were pretty out of it. Surgery was a success, though. You'll be out of here in no time."
Gibbs just nodded, using his uninjured hand to run it through his hair as he sighed loudly.
"You didn't have to wait."
"Yeah, I did," Tony replied sheepishly. "Case closed. I thought it'd be nice if someone was here when you wake up."
"Okay," Gibbs said, nodding once and Tony was almost sure that the corners of his mouth had just twitched, too, as if he had just been about to smile.
They remained silent for a little while after that with Tony watching Gibbs fighting the last of his sleep as he tried to come up with a safe topic to talk about. It seemed, though, as if there wasn't anything safe at the moment. He couldn't possibly talk about his goddamn clock now, wasn't keen on talking about the shooting and he sure as hell didn't want to tell him just how scared he had been for a moment there. He really hoped that Gibbs hadn't noticed how much Tony's hands had shaken when he had tried to put pressure on his wound earlier. McGee had noticed for sure, he had taken over the task after all, but he hadn't commented on it, knowing only too well when not to say something to Tony.
The younger man ran a hand through his hair, wondering if he could pull off sneaking out of the room to get a coffee without someone actually seeing him. He discarded it pretty quickly, though. There were too many people out there and Abby would surely make him stop in order to get the latest news, too. Speaking of Abby… she was a safe topic, wasn't she?
"Abby sends her best and would like me to remind you that you can't keep getting shot. It'll break her heart."
Tony had expected some sort of acknowledgement from Gibbs, a grunt maybe, a smile or a chuckle, but there was nothing. He finally looked up from where he had been watching his feet, only to see the older man staring intently at his arm that was halfway on its way back to the armrest.
Tony sighed inwardly as he had hoped not to have to talk about his clock. Gibbs wouldn't do him the favor, though.
"Two more hours?" Gibbs finally said, barely above a whisper, his eyes suddenly locking on Tony's.
The younger man just nodded, trying to come up with something to say to diffuse the sudden tension in the air but coming up empty for the time being. What was it lately anyway that he couldn't use his movie references anymore? It wasn't like there weren't any. He just couldn't say them. Not now, not to Gibbs.
"Why are you still here, Tony?" Gibbs asked now, his eyes never leaving the other man's.
"Like I said, I didn't want you to be alone when you wake up."
"Bullshit," Gibbs replied with much more force than Tony would have thought he had after just coming out of surgery. "You're hiding."
Tony stared at him, feeling his heart sink at the furious expression on Gibbs' face. Did he really not see it? Did he really want to get rid of Tony that quickly? Deep down, Tony knew that the latter one was nonsense, knew that Gibbs had even told him that he didn't want to miss their talks, their time together. So, why was he staring so angrily at him now?
That was when he realized that Gibbs didn't want to get rid of him, but wanted him to get out and find his someone, to become happy. Didn't he realize that Tony was here because of him? He had thought that Gibbs had seen through him this very morning, had basically told him so, too, but maybe Tony had imagined it all… He felt his heart sink even more. Maybe his clock hadn't been wrong after all. Maybe it was actually still ticking away until he met someone – maybe a pretty nurse right here in this hospital.
"Why?" Gibbs interrupted his thoughts. "Why are you hiding in here?"
Tony still didn't say anything, pondering what he was supposed to say now. He couldn't possibly tell him the truth. Hell, he didn't even know how he would start up this kind of conversation. It all simply didn't make any sense. How could he persuade Gibbs that his thoughts weren't completely crazy when they probably were exactly that? How was he supposed to tell him that his clock must have made a mistake all these years back? There simply wasn't a way and yet Tony knew that he had to say something before it was too late, before it was too late to run away, before it was too late to tell him.
"I'm not hiding," he finally said in a much steadier voice than he thought possible. "I want to be here – with you."
Gibbs' expression softened ever so slightly, though his stare didn't waver. Nobody spoke for a long time and Tony was sure that he didn't want to be the one to break the silence this time. Gibbs continued to look at him from where he was still lying in the hospital bed, not even trying to sit up. Tony felt his heart throb in his chest almost painfully, felt his own pulse rush loudly through his ears as he realized that Gibbs had apparently really heard what he had been telling him. He hadn't actually said it, hadn't said much of anything at all and yet Gibbs was looking at him like he had just told him every single thought that had plagued him over these last couple of days.
"Tony…," Gibbs started, his voice soft and somehow small. "It's not… you're not thinking…"
Before he could form a coherent sentence, though, there was a knock on the door and Tony felt his heart speed up as a nurse entered the room. He hadn't seen her before and his glance instinctively went to his arm, making sure that it hadn't suddenly turned to zero.
It hadn't.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Tony looked up again, only to find Gibbs doing the very same thing. He was staring at Tony's arm as if it held all the world's secrets.
"Agent Gibbs," the nurse diverted both of their thoughts. "You're awake, good. We'll have to run some tests now."
"Okay," Gibbs nodded, his glance never leaving Tony. "How long will they take?"
"Not too long. One and a half hour tops."
Tony quickly looked at his clock again. 94 minutes were still left. He knew that it wasn't likely for Gibbs to come back in time, but there wasn't anything he could do. Gibbs' health was more important. As much as it hurt, as much as it ripped his heart apart, it was as simple as that.
Disappointment settled within him. But maybe it wasn't too late. There could still be time. There had to be time.
"Any chance you can speed these tests up?" Gibbs asked now, voicing Tony's only question.
"Not sure," the nurse answered, her glance wandering from Tony to Gibbs, apparently realizing that she had interrupted something earlier. "I can try."
"Thanks," Tony replied and then nodded at Gibbs, giving him a probably very unconvincing smile. "See you later."
"Yeah," Gibbs replied, his voice suddenly a bit stronger than before. "See you later."
With that, the nurse wheeled Gibbs' bed out the room.
#
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Seven minutes left. Only seven goddamn minutes. And he was still alone.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Six minutes left. Only six goddamn minutes. And Gibbs still wasn't there and Tony still hadn't been able to tell him, talk to him, do something.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Five minutes left. Only five goddamn minutes. And still Tony couldn't bring himself to stand up and search for Gibbs. Someone else could see him…
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Four minutes left. Only four goddamn minutes. And fear was starting to settle in.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Three minutes left. Only three goddamn minutes. And his heart was pounding so hard he could hear it as dread was washing over him.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
Two minutes left. Only two goddamn minutes. And it was all over. Someone would just waltz in here any second now and crush his hopes. He couldn't imagine ever loving someone he hated so much right at this moment.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
One minute left. Only one goddamn minute. And nothing was happening. It was as if even the birds had stopped chirping outside. He felt empty.
Tick. Tick. Tick.
And the door opened, but Tony didn't look up, too afraid of whom he might be facing. His clock was still counting down the last of the seconds.
3… 2… 1… Zero.
With a pounding heart Tony looked up and saw Gibbs standing there, still hooked up on his IV, his cheeks slightly red. He was breathing heavily as if he had just been running to get here…
Yet still, Tony didn't feel a thing.