A/N: Annd this chapter is why it has an M rating. Not that it's that bad.
Damon was on his back staring at the ceiling when Elena got out of the shower. Elena crept onto the bed and crawled over to him. She perched across his body like a cat with her head on his chest and her knees at his waist. Damon was content to let her stay there. He put his hands on her sides and held her so she could not escape. He felt the bare skin of her stomach and knew she hadn't dressed. The room was warm despite the air conditioner's efforts and the cool drops of her hair felt good as they dripped.
"There was another letter from Stefan today." Elena said quietly.
"I know." She'd left it on the dresser and Damon had already read it.
It was the third he'd sent to Elena begging for forgiveness. She read each over and over. She also hadn't responded to one. "I don't know what to do." She sighed.
"How do you feel?" Damon said.
She wished she could see his face, but at the same time she couldn't even try to meet his eyes. "Scared. Hurt. Angry." Her fingers clenched in the fabric of his shirt. "Guilty because I'm not over it. It's been years." And there was a time when they'd been best friends.
"None of those are forgiveness." Damon said softly. "And you both deserve to have an honest understanding." His hand moved to her face and he forced her to meet his eyes. "And it's not something you just 'get over.' It may never happen." He caressed her face where the bruise had been. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. "He never should have touched you. I don't know if I'll ever forgive him, either."
"But he's your brother." Elena protested as she laid her head back on his chest. "We used to be so close."
Damon's hands dropped from her body and he tensed.
She rose her head up to look at him again. "Are you mad?" She asked in a small voice.
Damon hated the slight fear he saw in her eyes. "I would never hurt you, Elena." He sounded pained that she'd ever entertain the slightest idea that he might.
"I know." She said, but it didn't convince him. "Then why did you suddenly seem so mad at me?"
Damon bit the inside of his cheek. "I'm not…mad." He looked away. "I'm—jealous." He bit off the word as if it were hard for him to say.
"That Stefan hit me?" Elena raised her eyebrows.
"No!" Damon dismissed the ridiculous idea with one look.
"Then why?" Elena persisted. "We never had sex."
Damon gave a long suffering sigh. "I just don't like the thought of you with anyone who's not me. Doing anything. Ever." He said it easily as if it were perfectly reasonable.
"But with Caroline you— "
Damon tipped Elena from his stomach and turned so that they were both on their sides facing each other. He tugged her close for a kiss. "I've never felt this way about Caroline."
She nestled her head against him and his answers left her with a fuzzy feeling. "Still—" She continued. "Don't you think family's important?"
He pulled away and looked at her. "It's everything. And you're all the family I need." She blushed and looked away. "What is all this about?"
She looked at him through slanted eyes. "Maybe I'm just thinking about when our family gets a little bigger."
He swallowed and felt choked. "Are you saying that—" He couldn't say it.
She pulled the hand that was holding her face slowly down to her stomach. She gave him a scared smile. "Hey, Dad." A tear fell.
His other hand moved down and he cradled her stomach. "No way. We were careful." But he was smiling as if the thought filled him with joy.
"I guess not careful enough. I'm two weeks late. The four positive sticks were kind of a clue, too." She said lightly.
He pulled her close and held head her tight to his chest. "Baby." She wasn't sure if that was her or the little creature inside her. He rained little kisses all over her hair and she felt his chest shake. "I'm going to be a dad!" He said reverently.
His arms loosened suddenly. "What is it?" Elena asked.
"Oh my god, I'm going to be a dad. I'm going to be terrible. I'm the worst possible—"
Elena shut him up with a kiss. "You are going to be an amazing, sexy dad."
"I don't think sexy is exactly what's needed—"
"You won't be your dad." Elena said quietly. She knew what was really bothering him.
Damon bit his lip and looked away. "How can you possibly know that?"
She laughed. "Anyone who's known you for even a millisecond would know. You're good. You're good for me and you'll be good for the baby when he comes."
He smiled at her. "Oh, it's a boy?"
"Yeah," she nodded even though she didn't really know and smiled as she nuzzled him. Her lips moved to cover his. "Maybe it's these hormones, or maybe it's your face, but I'd really like to take advantage of you now."
"Oh, you'll be taking advantage of me when you're the pregnant one?" He smiled indulgently at her.
She nodded and pushed him onto his back. "Mmhmm," she mumbled as she crushed her lips into him and climbed on top of him to grind into his pelvis. She pulled away to get a better angle. "You and your delicate, new father-y feelings. You'll be helpless beneath me." She grabbed his hands and pulled them above his head.
He let himself be trapped by her and lifted his hips up. He grinned when he felt her gasp. "Is that so?"
She looked down and read the worry in his eyes. "Hey, stop that." He feigned confusion at her words. "Stop letting your abandonment issues or whatever get the better of you. We are going to be kick-ass parents."
He sighed. "I'm a little scared."
"You should be." Elena said. "But not about that. You're at my mercy as we speak."
"That is frightening." Damon agreed. "But the truth is that I've always been at your mercy. I'm used to that fear."
She smiled and pecked his mouth, but removed herself when he tried to kiss back. "Don't be scared about us. Be scared about the first time our kid breaks a bone or college tuition prices or something. Don't be scared about us, because we are going to give him all our love." She beamed down at him.
He broke free of her grasp. Before she got the chance to pout, he covered her mouth with his and used his hand to keep her still as he kissed her passionately. "Hey, I know you're in charge and all, but hurry up." He put his hand back over his head with the other and grinned at her.
She eagerly tugged his pants down and positioned herself so that he slid right home inside her. She sighed and slowly moved up and down. In this position, it was easy for her to make him hit just the right spot every time and as she started to move faster she knew it wouldn't take much longer.
"Isn't this how we got into this position in the first place?" Damon gasped as her hands dug into his wrists where she held them above his head.
"No," she panted, "This is how." And then she tightened and came around him.
Damon shouted and thrust hard into her as her reaction had him spilling all of himself into her.
She collapsed on top of him, still shaking. "I love you."
He nuzzled her neck. "I love you," he said, "and maybe it's a little premature, but I love our baby, too."
She grinned, obviously pleased at the confession, but decided to tease anyway. "I'm used to you being premature."
Damon held her away so he could look at her face. "Are you doubting my sexual prowess?"
Elena bit her lip and lowered her eyelids. "Never." She said coyly.
He smirked and flipped her over on her back. "Hmm." He rubbed his face against her chest before lightly kissing her nipple. "Seems like I'm going to have to do better to satisfy your inner urges." He bit firmly without warning and Elena shrieked.
Elena wasn't sure when those had become so tender. She panted when bit the other one. He slowly worked his way down, absolutely torturing her, until he got to her thighs.
He wasted no time spreading her and getting to work. "Mmmm," he groaned and he consumed her. There couldn't be another word for it, he was devouring and destroying her so completely as his lips expertly wrapped around her and his tongue dipped deep.
She was shaking and sweaty in no time and all. All it took was the brush of his teeth against her nub to have her call his name in satisfaction.
He teased her a little more before crawling back up her body. He gave her a smug look as he lay on his elbow, staring at her. "I'm the premature one?"
Elena still had shivers. "Shut up." She said without any menace and smiled sweetly when she looked at him. God, she loved his blue eyes. She didn't think it was possible to love them any more than she already had, but the love in them now had her completely melting.
She burrowed into his side smiling.
Her head was on his chest and his hand was tracing her naked back softly. "We should try." He finally said. She looked up at him. "We don't have to forgive them both right away, but maybe we can try to start."
She smiled through her tears. "Yeah." She said in a cracking voice. "I think it's time."
Caroline's hand was shaking as she held the letter.
Lexi was trying to apply makeup in the mirror and she really didn't appreciate her friend—her sponsee, really—barging into her apartment when she wasn't in immediate risk of taking a hit and falling off the wagon. "It's unorthodox for Sponsors to have such a close relationship with their charges, you know that, right?" She reminded her friend.
"Yeah, well, I don't want to fuck you, okay?" Caroline said, frazzled. "My sister just sent me this freaking letter and she wants to see me, so what the fuck do I do?"
"You've been waiting for this for ages, relax." Lexi said, still paying more attention to her lipstick than to the frazzled blond next to her. "You're in my light." She said, irritated, her eyes never moving from her reflection.
"Can you please pay attention to me for like a millisecond, Lexi? I am like this close to swallowing the nearest bucket of pills!" She said shrilly.
Lexi took the threat seriously, as she'd always promised she would. "Hey, girl. Calm down. Take a deep breath. You don't need any of that shit in your system. What you need is your sister." She rolled her eyes. "More specifically, her forgiveness. You know you can't move anywhere further in the program without some closure." She patted her friend's pretty curls.
"So what do I do?" Caroline said desperately.
Lexi took the invitation from Caroline's hands and inspected it. "A family reunion?" She snorted. "Aren't there like, four of you?"
"Why. Do. You. Think. I'm. Freaking. Out." She took a deep breath.
Lexi gave the invitation back. "So what? It's good, it's personal."
"That's exactly why it's bad! I don't know what to do!" She looked ready to rip her hair out.
Lexi looked her in the eye. "You go. You grovel. They get over it or you get gone. And then that's it. You get it off your chest."
Caroline was ready to cry. "But what if they don't forgive me?" Her lips wobbled.
"Then you have to live with it." Lexi said. She was a believer in tough love. "You have to move on and forgive them for not forgiving you. You weren't the best person to them, so now you have to be the bigger one. You'll be better off no matter what they decide."
"I don't know if I can be." She started to cry.
Lexi grimaced. "Look, could you please not? Not right now? I have that date with the accountant in like five minutes, and…" She looked at her friend, now steadily crying. "Now it is." She patted her friend's back through the tears.
"What if I can't do it?" She said panicky.
"Well you have to. End of story. Be confident, but contrite. You have to show them that you have wisdom and strength now."
"Oh my god, what am I going to wear?" Caroline gave a gasp of horror.
Lexi's eyes widened. "Please don't ask me that."
"You've got to help me!" Caroline pleaded. "My entire recovery could hinge on this one outfit!"
"I hardly think that's going to be the case." Lexi laughed.
"What if I wear something too slutty and Elena remembers how I used to fuck her boyfriend and not to mention also fuck around on him and ohmygod Stefan will be there, too how will I face any of them oh my god what am I going to do-?"
Lexi shook her. "Hey! Shut up! Stop being so damn neurotic. You control how it will go."
"I could really use some backup." Caroline said woefully.
"No no no no no. Nope. Not me. I'm your sponsor, not your cousin." She moved back to the mirror.
"Then I can't go." Caroline said decidedly.
Lexi grit her teeth. "You wouldn't really pass up on this opportunity because you're scared."
Caroline nodded sadly. "I would. If only I had someone who cared enough to help me through this difficult time."
Lexi sighed bone deep. "Caroline, sometimes I think you forget that I'm in recovery, too. I feel just as lost as you do." She ran a hand through her perfect hair and ruined it. "If I do this for you…you have to promise to find another sponsor." She looked to see her friend's mouth hanging open. She could tell Caroline was hurt. "Hey, this is really unprofessional, okay? You need to find someone else, because I care about you. And it's getting harder for me to support myself by always supporting you, you know?"
Caroline didn't meet her eyes. "Would we still be friends?" She asked sadly.
"Yes! Dear god, yes, Caroline! I would never just abandon you. I just can't handle this overtime duty, if that makes sense? I mean, I get that a sponsor must always be there, but a family reunion?" Lexi looked at reflection in the mirror like it would offer some sympathy.
Caroline nodded. "So you'll come with me?"
"If that's really what you want." Lexi said, resigned.
Caroline gave a cry of joy and hugged her friend around her neck. "Now," she said cheerily, pulling away, "you really do have to help me figure out what to wear."
Lexi sighed.
Tyler was just cleaning the counters and ready to close when he noticed a lone customer nursing a drink at the end of the bar. He sighed and walked over to him. "Hey, kid. That better be a Shirley Temple."
His charge gave him a dry look. "It is. And I'm not a kid. You really think I'd mess this up?" He held up a shiny coin that said '1 year.' The drugs had been easy. It was the alcohol that really kicked his ass. But it had been part of the deal he'd made. Elena wouldn't press charges-which by all rights, she should've-if he went to rehab. It didn't take the first couple thousand times. God knows he fell off the wagon often enough at first, but eventually he got clean. Same deal for Caroline, probably. But he wouldn't know. He hadn't seen her in years. She was kinda the first step.
"Lame, you carry that around with you?" Tyler said without thinking. He regretted the words instantly. He knew he wasn't support material. He'd vehemently been against taking on someone to mentor, but the kid hadn't had any other options and the person who held their support group was an expert at guilting survivors, as she called them. 'It'll help not only him, but you, too,' She'd promised. So far all that Stefan had done was stress him out a whole hell of a lot more than he needed to be.
The bartender ran a hand through his hair when he looked back at poor guy. "Sorry, Stefan. It's been a long day."
Stefan nodded as if he knew the feeling. He took another slow sip.
"You know, bars really aren't the best places for recovering addicts." Tyler rubbed the counter with a dirty cloth.
"So you keep saying. Why do you work here, then?" Stefan asked.
"Puts food on the table." He said shortly. He would have liked to tell Stefan that it was the last place he wanted to be, that every single day he struggled with decision to stay clean and the temptation of all the drinks he supplied to other people. But it was his job to help Stefan, not complain about his own fucked up mess of a life. "Why are you here, that's the question."
"My brother wants to—to get together, I guess." Stefan pulled out what looked like an invitation from his pocket.
"That's great!" Tyler said with as much enthusiasm as he could muster after a long day of hell and temptation. Stefan gave him a look like he knew the exclamation was less than sincere. Tyler rolled his head and gave up the falsity. "You have to go." He said simply.
"I know." Stefan said, dejected. "Elena's gonna be there."
Tyler whistled under his breath. "Sorry, man, uh, that sucks."
Stefan smiled a little. "Is it sick to say I kind of want to see her? I mean, I don't deserve it, but I miss her. And I have to tell her—how sorry I am."
Tyler nodded. "You really do." He turned away like the conversion was over, but Stefan's next words stopped him in his tracks.
"And you have to come with me."
Tyler turned around quickly with a desperate look on his face. "No. Man, no. Family stuff? Not my territory. Nope. Can't."
Stefan remained unconvinced. "You owe me." He said strongly.
"Hey, who's the one who's being your rock?" Tyler pointed out.
"Dude, you suck as a mentor. I don't even know what the last steps are." Stefan complained.
Tyler gave a dismissing wave of his hand. "Jesus stuff. Would you have really listened if I'd told you?"
Stefan ignored that. "Plus, who got you a date to your ex's wedding?"
Tyler gave him a disgusted look. "Oh, you're counting that? It was a complete disaster. She almost ate the entire wedding cake. Vicki was so pissed."
"And who drove there and picked you up when you were on the verge of a relapse even though you are supposed to be the wise, experienced one?" Stefan continued logically.
Tyler groaned. "Fine, dude, but it is going to be awkward as hell. I'll be the only one there who hasn't dated both of the sisters. Or even met them."
Stefan gave him a dark look before finishing his glass.
Tyler took it to clean and put away. "So, you coming by the place to see the game on Sunday?"
"Yeah." Stefan said casually.
Tyler nodded with satisfaction. Sometimes the program sponsor thing wasn't so bad. Watching a football game without beer was hard enough, let alone trying to do it alone. But sometimes it really sucked. He grimaced thinking of the reunion mentioned on the invitation still clenched in Stefan's hand, not even a month away.