A/N: Thanks for your feedback! :) You guys are awesome... my updating schedule seems to be improving, luckily, and this chapter is a bit longer than usual, too... hope you like it! :)

Chapter Sixteen: Four

Tony had called his ex-fiancée late that night. Ever since they had met two years previously he had had her number again, but never called her. He never had a reason to before now. She seemed positively surprised to be hearing his voice again, but that subsided quickly when Tony told her that he wanted to talk to her about his clock. He hadn't said anything about Gibbs or their newly formed bond, feeling like she would say no if he did. She had readily agreed to meet up with him, though, so they had made a date for the next day to grab a bite for dinner.

After that, he and Gibbs hadn't talked much – not about the serious stuff – but had generally just enjoyed some downtime. They had kissed, had watched a movie together but when it was time to go to bed, Tony couldn't help but feel slightly nervous. He knew that nothing could happen tonight, Jethro was still fresh out of surgery and his shoulder wasn't exactly mobile after all.

"Ready to go to bed?" he asked, trying not to think about having to sleep next to the older man and not touch him – at least not like he wanted him to.

It was too early for that – for both Jethro's shoulder and their relationship – but he suddenly couldn't seem to stop these thoughts. They quickly faded away though, when he took a look at the older man. He had maybe expected some reluctance from the older man, maybe some heated look in those beautiful blue eyes, but he certainly hadn't foreseen the spike of fear that he could suddenly see on his face. The older man rubbed a hand over his chin as he sat up a bit straighter and looked at Tony.

"I'm not… you know I suck at stuff like this, but I will try… for you."

"Try what?" Tony asked, feeling more confused than before.

"Talk to you… about stuff. The wives never understood, for obvious reasons."

"Jethro," Tony interrupted him, taking the older man's hand into his own. "Whatever it is… whoever… I mean… I know about Shannon and Kelly," he watched Gibbs with wary eyes, but got some sort of recognition in return, so he knew that he was on the right track. "You couldn't tell me anything that would hurt me. They'll always be there," he stopped and touched a finger to Jethro's heart. "I'm not going run from you – not because of them or because of anything else."

Gibbs stared back at him and Tony saw it again, the little spike of fear, something he had never seen on the other man before. But suddenly Tony just understood. It was the fear that he would screw it up because of Shannon and maybe even the fear of loving someone – Tony – again.

"You got that, Jethro?" Tony inquired, trying to make Gibbs see that he wasn't going anywhere.

He got another nod in return and he was sure that Gibbs really did understand, but there was still something else lingering between them.

"What is it?" he asked, feeling slightly anxious all of a sudden.

Why was it that every time anything good came along there was something bad getting in the way? He didn't know exactly what it was, but Gibbs suddenly seemed so far away again even though they had just basically confessed to each other that they were stuck with each other – in a really good way, too.

"Like I said, I'm not good at this," Gibbs finally replied calmly, keeping Tony from freaking out too thoroughly. "I haven't… slept in that bed upstairs in a really long time. With the wives, I used to sleep in the guest room, but that's not there anymore…"

"You don't want me to sleep in the bed you've once shared with Shannon?" Tony asked so quietly that he wasn't even sure the other man had heard him.

"No, I do want you to sleep there," Jethro replied even quieter, his eyes locking into Tony's again. "I do want that. I just… I need you to know that this really is it. You know? Once we've shared this bed, this room… there's no turning back. Neither for you, nor for me."

Tony nodded mutely, trying to come up with something that sounded even remotely convincing enough. There wasn't a doubt in his mind that he wanted to stay with the older man forever, but he wasn't sure that Jethro knew that, too. It didn't seem like it at least.

"Listen, Gibbs," Tony gauged Jethro's reaction, but there wasn't really one. He just stared right back at him, a look of defeat in his eyes. "For a really long time you belonged to that beautiful red-headed lady and that pretty little girl and you always will. Maybe I'm not measuring up to them, but I'll try my hardest to make it happen. Look, you are my soul mate, even if we're damn late to realize that. But you are and I'm not going anywhere. You said you wanted me to move in with you and I will eventually. If you don't want me to sleep up in the bedroom with you just yet, that's fine with me. I'll sleep on the couch until you feel it's right. No pressure here. Not going anywhere."

Jethro didn't say anything, just continued to stare at him. The fear in his eyes had subsided, though, and Tony couldn't help but breathe a sigh of relief. He knew that they probably still had a long way to go – he hadn't expected the sudden insecurity on Gibbs' part at all, had thought that Gibbs just knew that he would be alright with it all - but he was willing to work through it all.

They stayed silent for a really long time and just when Tony was about to get a little antsy – and probably angsty, too – Jethro finally stood up and reached out his uninjured arm to pull Tony up to his feet.

"Come on," he said, determination in his voice. "Let's go to bed."

"Okay," Tony replied, trying not to read too much into it, but felt a huge smile appear on his lips anyway. "Let's go to bed."

##

A couple of hours later, Tony couldn't help but curse himself for overthinking stuff again. Here he was lying next to Jethro in his bed, listening to the other man's too controlled breathing. They had simply kissed good night when they had lain down and hadn't talked anymore, but while Jethro had apparently fallen asleep quickly afterwards, he wasn't fooling Tony. He was lying there far too stiffly and his breathing was far too even – hell, he didn't even snore and Tony knew damn well from too many stakeouts over the years that older man snored liked a drunken sailor most of the time.

Tony knew that he could simply turn around and confront him about it, but then what would he say? He was lying there pretending to sleep just as much as Jethro was. He knew that there was still something unspoken between them, but he hadn't figured out yet what exactly it was. He wanted to be mad at the other man for not telling him but then realized that he was being stupid. Jethro had just taken a big step in letting him sleep up here with him. He wouldn't jeopardize that gigantic step for Gibbs for some gut feeling he couldn't get rid of. Maybe Jethro just couldn't sleep because his shoulder was hurting and he was too proud to get up and talk to him about it. It was what Tony would've done after all and he damn well knew that. So, Tony turned around so that he was lying on his stomach and let out sigh, trying to fall asleep. A couple of minutes later, his body did him the favor.

##

They sat in the restaurant the next evening in a rather uncomfortable silence. Both of them had acted like nothing had happened in bed the night before – and it really hadn't as both of them hadn't spoken up – but Tony was sure that they would talk about it sooner or later. They simply had to. But for now there was more important questions to be answered and Tony felt himself gulp as he watched Wendy walk towards them, a look of unpleasant surprise on her face as she saw Gibbs sitting there with him. The other man had noticed it, too, but just shrugged before he stood up to shake her hand. Tony did the same. After a couple of minutes of small talk with talking about Wendy's kid and Tony telling one bad joke after another, Wendy finally cut to the chase.

"What is it that you really wanted to talk about, Tony?" she asked, not even looking at Gibbs as if it pained her to just look at him for too long.

"I'm sorry for dragging you into this like that," Tony apologized, casting a quick glance at Jethro who was in return starting at Wendy. "I… uh… okay, the truth is… my clock has finally turned to zero this week."

"Oh!" Wendy said, genuine joy suddenly visible in her eyes, which confused Tony more than it should have, but he brushed it aside for the time being. "Congrats," his ex-fiancée continued. "Who's the lucky one?"

"Me," Gibbs all but grunted, having changed back into the gruff boss mode, Tony realized.

"You?" Wendy checked back incredulously and Tony felt his heart sink at her surprise. Maybe she hadn't known or sensed anything before after all. "How is that even possible?"

"We don't know," Tony replied. "That is where you come in."

"How so?" Wendy replied, clearly intrigued by now as she stared at Gibbs' numbers ticking up.

"Well," Tony started awkwardly. "Back when we were still engaged, you always said that I was like a puppy with Gibbs." He cleared his throat, not looking at the older man as he realized that he hadn't told him that before.

"You kind of were," Wendy replied, a rueful smile on her lips. "You followed his every move. I never quite understood that. I didn't think you two were soul mates, though."

"You didn't?" Tony asked, feeling his insides freeze.

If she didn't know, no one would and he'd always have that tiny sliver of doubt within him.

He felt Gibbs' eyes on him, felt his impatience to say something, to touch him maybe, but he didn't dare to look at him. He just couldn't.

"No, not really," Wendy replied thoughtfully. "I knew you had that… crush on him, but Gibbs never seemed to really notice you." At Gibbs' grunt of disapproval, she hurried to continue. "I mean, you didn't notice the way he always looked at you, the way he would talk about you. You just didn't care, there was always this wall you kept around you. Obviously it's none of my business, but I can see that's gone now. But back then it was always there, that's why you never noticed him, I guess. I did, though. I saw how much you changed, Tony," she said quietly, turning back to him and looking him into the eyes. "I knew you loved me, knew you wanted to defy fate and run away with me from our soul mates and there was a time I would have, but that was before you met him. You kept changing to keep up with him and while I can see that you're a better man now because of him, it also made me realize that you weren't it for me anymore. He just changed everything… But no, I didn't break up with you because I thought you two belonged together. The thought never occurred to me."

Tony let out a sigh and ran a hand through his hair, trying to keep actual tears at bay. He really had hoped that Wendy could give them some insight, but here they were sitting now, awkwardly spilling their feelings. He had always despised Wendy for leaving him the way she did, but suddenly it seemed like he had been the one that had let her down – and maybe she was right, too. He did think Gibbs had been more important back then – and now, too.

He finally chanced a look at Jethro and found the other man staring right back at him, the blue in his eyes slightly darker than usual. It wasn't the fear from last night, though. It was something completely different, but Tony could place it, so he quickly looked away again.

"Thanks for coming," he finally said, not knowing what else to say to the woman sitting across from him. "And sorry for everything I did back then."

"Nothing to be sorry for," Wendy gave him an unexpected smile as she stood up. "All worked out in the end, right?" she asked and only now did Tony realize that her numbers were counting up, too. They read a little over two months.

"Yeah, I guess it did," Tony smiled back at her and with that Wendy left the restaurant and most possibly their lives, too.

Gibbs and Tony remained silent for a while after that, both of them not looking at each other and Tony could almost feel the figurative wall that Wendy had just talked about being pulled up between them. He didn't know what the hell was suddenly so wrong.

"You want to talk?" he finally asked when he couldn't stand the silence any longer.

"Yeah, but not here."

##

The ride to Gibbs' house was even more awkward than the talk with Wendy had been, but Tony couldn't help but stay quiet. He knew that Gibbs wanted to talk, but he knew that the man was a driving hazard on a good day, so he didn't want to start that kind of conversation with him behind the wheel.

Once they let themselves into the house, though, he could suddenly feel the nervous energy radiating from the other man.

"Okay, what's wrong?" he blurted out, flinging his jacket over the back of the couch, bringing his hands to his hips.

"Nothing's wrong," Gibbs replied, shedding his coat, too, his eyes glaring daggers at him and Tony felt something inside of him freeze.

Where had that insecure and open Jethro from last night gone to? Who had him replaced with that not talking version of him again? Tony stepped closer, but he had no clue how to deal with it. He knew, though, that he had to start talking eventually. So he did.

"Look, Jethro," he started much calmer than he actually felt. "I'm sorry Wendy couldn't solve the problem, okay? I really thought that she could give us a clue. I just really want to know what it's all about. I want to understand it. It makes no sense and I'm not letting the unknown eat me up. I can't stand believing in something just to have it ripped away from me because the goddamn clocks fucked up again."

"Stop it, Tony," Jethro interrupted his rambling that had grown louder with every word he said, so that he had actually shouted the last couple of them at the older man who had seemed to shrink away from with every little thing he said. "Just stop it."

"Stop what?" Tony replied angrily and he had no idea where the frustration suddenly came from. He just really wanted to know.

"Everything," Jethro said, now getting into his face. "Stop this."

"What?"

"Stop this," Jethro repeated, looking defeated all of a sudden before he stepped back, his eyes never once leaving Tony's.

"What's wrong?" Tony wanted to reach out to him, but felt like Jethro wouldn't want to be touched right now, so he refrained. He didn't get it, didn't understand what had Gibbs acting like that all of a sudden. "What can I do?"

Blue eyes pierced his own as if they were urging him onward to figure it out on his own, but Tony just didn't know, didn't know what to do.

"I want the old Tony back," Jethro finally whispered.

Tony stared at him, feeling deflated. And empty.

What? Did he want the old Tony back, the one who was just his second in command?