"RIGHT WHERE IS THAT SHONKY BLOKE RUSSEL!" Velvet roared with wet green hair clinging to her friend as she fumed "When I find him I'm going to play Aerial Ping Pong with his goolies!" the bunny Faunus roared "That's after he's flat out like a lizard drink running for his life, better hope I don't make him cark it"
"Velly, sweetie you're speaking Aussie again" Cardin said "So what di you say?"
"Do you want me to break it down for you sweetie?"
"Yes please" Cardin said
"Okay Russel is a Shonky Bloke, means he's a dubious man" Velvet said
"Shonky being dubious?" Cardin asked
"Yep, next I threatened to play aerial ping pong with his goolies, in other words I was going to use his balls for a game of Aussie Rules football" she evilly smirked while Cardin covered himself.
"And Flat out like a lizard drinking means busy I take it?" Cardin asked
"Yep" Velvet said "So up for a Stubby this Arvo?"
"A what this what?"
"A stubbie this Arvo, basically a beer this afternoon" Velvet said swaying her hip
"Wait you drink?" Cardin asked
"come on" she laughed dragging him away
"Struth" Cardin said
"Now you're getting it" she giggled.
"Okay so I'm a Bluey because I have red hair?" Cardin asked chowing down on some scones.
"Yep, nwo when I say She'll be right it means?" Velvet asked
"Its no problem right?" Cardin asked
"Correct" Velvet nodded as Cardin thought about something
"What did you mean when you said: why don't you point Percy to the porcelain before you piss you dacks?"
"Oh basically take a piss before you wet you pants" Velvet blushed
"Ph and you're like an ashtray on a motorcycle?" Cardin said as she curled up in his lap
"You're useless or incompetent" Velvet said before kissing him "But now I think you're a top bloke"
"That's a good thing I take it?"
"It is, its a fair dinkum compliment"
"Cheers" Cardin said kissing her back.
"So you want to pash huh?" Velvet asked
"I take it a pash is making out?" Cardin asked before Velvet kissed him passionately
"Struth, that was tops"
"Dinky Di sweetie, its dinky di, you lovable Boofhead"
"Coem here" Cardin said as Vel snuggled up to him
"Want to watch a flick?"
"A Flick?" Cardin puzzled asked
"Movie" Velvet explained
"Sure" Cardin said
Tne next day Russel run a foul of Velvet once again
"Oh crap" he whimpered
"Get Back here you bastard!" Velvet shouted
"Oh m,an, Velvet" Cardin shouted
"Not this time, this Ratbag is getting what's coming to him" Velvet roared
"Oh coem Russ, its all just stop running" Cardin shouted
"Do you think I'm stupid?" Russel asked
"Yes, please just stop she won't hurt you" Cardin begged
"Are you kidding after I'm done with him he'll need a nappy!" Velvet shouted
"A what?"
"A diaper you drongo" Cardin said
"Where's a thong when you need it" Velvet said
"VELVET!" Cardin freaked
"I forgot our definition of thong is different, to you a thong is a skimpy bit of underwear, while to me a thong is a flip-flop" Velvet explained
"Oh okay," Cardin smiled
"Great the dropkick pissed off!" Velvet stomped her foot down
"Come on" Cardin sighed pulling Velvet off
"Why?" Velvt huffed
"Simple we're chucking a sickie" Cardin said
"Sweet, no classes until tomorra" Velvet said happily before climbing on Cardin's back.
Thank you for joining this series from its humble oneshot origins to now eight chapters later! but now it is time to finish the series but that does not mean that Ozzie Velvet will stop existing, oh no! she'll be back better then ever
Now to my Australian fans I say cheers for joining me on this bonza ride and to my international fans I say: Thanks for joining me on this awesome ride. Seriously do you know how happy I feel when I read how much you guys laughed at this series.
So until next time I'll see you on the flipside Down Under