A/N: Okay, next up: TOW Phoebe's wedding. This is also the one that gave me the quote to use as the title for this fic, so it's gonna be something a little more special… at least to me. That hug at the beginning of the episode really made my day. This is also gonna be a bit longer, than the other chapters. Now, enough rambling, more writing:
Joey was just sitting on the familiar orange couch in the coffeehouse, flipping through time magazine, when the door opened to reveal Phoebe.
" Oh, hey Joey," she greeted, while taking her place next to him, hereby finally making the actor look up.
" Uh, hey," he then retorted nervously, gazing into her sparkling green eyes. ' God, she's beautiful, why does she have to be so beautiful?' he found himself thinking, a pang of pain shooting itself straight up to his heart.
" Listen, I need to ask you something. Okay, you know how my step dad's in prison?" the blonde asked.
" Yeah," Joey replied compassionately, wondering where all of this was going.
" Yeah. Well, uhm... listen he was supposed to get a weekend furlough, so he'd come to the wedding tomorrow, but he just called and... uhm... well, apparently stabbing Iceman in the exercise yard just couldn't wait till Monday," Phoebe went on in annoyance.
" So, he can't come?"
" No, and so there's no one to walk me down the aisle and... well, I would just really love it if you would do it," she explained on a sincere tone.
" Seriously?" the Italian asked, feeling honored that she'd ask him to do that for her, yet feeling a little bit sad, at the same time. He really didn't like the prospect of giving the love of his life away to another man.
" Yeah, you've... you know, sort of been like a dad to me. I mean, you've always, you know, looked out for me and shared your wisdom..."
" I am pretty wisdomous," Joey agreed, while desperately trying to ignore the terrible feeling he got, when she said he was like a dad to her. That was not… that was never how he saw their relationship.
" So... what do you say?" his friend asked, looking at him expectantly. He couldn't do this, he couldn't say no to her, not when she was looking at him like that. He couldn't bear to reject the offer and see her sad.
" Are you kidding? Phoebe, I would be honored," he gave in, faking a smile. Phoebe subsequently rewarded him with a big hug, making him feel all fuzzy inside.
" Oh, thank you. I hope... I hope you know how much you mean to me," she muttered into his ear, almost making him tear up. He knew they had a close friendship and it always made him feel special, whenever she acknowledged it. It always made him happy, even though he knew he was never going to get what he really wanted, which was a relationship with her.
He then took the opportunity to grab a gentle hold of her soft hand and look her in the eye.
" Listen, I hope... that you know..." he began, losing his courage when he saw that wonderful smile of hers. He choked up, knowing he'd never be able to tell her about his real feelings.
" I don't want you to see your father cry, go to your room!" he finally finished, turning away from her.
" Oh, you're so sweet, you," Phoebe smiled, as she rubbed his back in comforting circles.
Then, the actor suddenly surprised her, when he quickly flipped around and pulled her in for an intense hug.
" I love you, Phoebe," he brought out between sobs, as he clung on to her tightly, never wanting to let her go.
" I love you too, Joey, you know that right?" she retorted, chuckling slightly, at the way he was suddenly behaving.
" Yeah," he stated sadly, knowing deep in his heart, that she'd always mean just that little more to him, than he did to her.
" I… uh, I'm gonna go, I have stuff… to do," he declared softly after he'd released her. He'd seen her husband-to-be through the window and he didn't really feel like dealing with him, at the moment.
" Oh… okay, bye, see you around."
" Yeah, bye," he muttered, right before walking out the door.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
It was only a few hours later, at the rehearsal dinner, that Joey was storming out the door in a terrible mood. He'd just seen Mike kissing Phoebe rather passionately and it had proved to be enough to get him really worked up. He didn't understand, because the more he tried to ignore his feelings for his best friend, the stronger they seemed to be getting. A few weeks ago, he'd been upset to watch her be all cuddly with her fiancé sure, but back then he hadn't felt the intense need to break them apart and yell at Mike to just leave her the hell alone.
" I hate this… Oh god, how I hate this," he muttered aloud, burying his head in his hands.
" Hate what, Joey?" came a sudden very familiar voice from behind him. ' Oh god, she can't see me like this,' the actor thought, right before he lifted his head and furiously began to wipe at his tears.
" Oh nothin', I… there wasn't enough to eat back there, is all," he explained weakly, still staring straight ahead, not being able to look directly at her.
" Joey, I'm not stupid, you know. Please tell me what's going on," Phoebe urged softly, as she took her place next to him.
" Nothing, Pheebs, there's nothing going on. Everything's fine, I promise," he almost snapped.
" So, that's why you were crying? Because everything's fine. Come on, Joseph, tell me what's up!" the blonde tried again, while reaching out to brush a stray tear from his cheek.
" I can't tell you, okay?! I can't!" he suddenly bellowed, as he flinched from her touch and hastily rose back up.
" Joey! Joey, no, come back!" Phoebe shouted, racing after him and grabbing a hold of his wrist.
" No, Pheebs… I… you don't need me here. You… you have to get back to h… to Mike," he bit back more cruelly, than he'd intended, while forcefully pulling himself from her grip.
" But… but Joey, I… I don't understand."
Joey only shook his head, then retorted: " You don't need to understand, I just have to go, before I end up doing something I might regret. Something I know would cause you to hate me so bad, that you'd never want to talk to me again. I… I have to go, bye Pheebs, see ya at the wedding," the actor explained, right before turning around and walking away.
" Joey, but, but, Joey, you can't just… Joey!" Phoebe yelled desperately, as she attempted to go after him, giving up the chase, when she saw him getting into his car.
" Hey, honey, what's up?" came a voice from behind her.
" It's Joey, he… he just left, I don't, I… I don't…" the blonde stuttered, fighting to hold back the tears. How could he do this to her? It was just like that time, when he'd missed her birthday party to be with Ursula. Only this was a million times worse. He must have known, how important it was, that he'd be present at her wedding rehearsal surely. Sure, it wasn't the actual wedding, but still… She wanted him here. He was her best friend, after all.
" Oh, sweetie, it'll be okay, come on, let's go back in. Everybody's wondering where you are, especially Monica. She's been firing questions at me like crazy."
Phoebe only shook her head in response, then said: " No, no, I don't want to. I'm sorry, Mike, but I have to find out what his problem is."
' What? But, Phoebe… we… they're setting things up for the big dinner, you can't just…" Mike tried, grabbing a gentle hold of her arm.
" No, I can. I have to get after him, I'm very sorry, but this is what I have to do right now," she retorted, while freeing herself from his grip and promptly strolling over to her car.
F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S. F.R.I.E.N.D.S.
Joey had only just returned to his apartment, when he heard three loud knocks at the door. He let out a loud sigh, before he reluctantly went to open it.
" Oh, Phoebe, what are you doing he… ow!" he began, but got cut off, when the blonde forcefully struck him in the face, with the palm of her hand.
" What the hell was all that about?!" she demanded angrily, as she closed the door, grabbed him by the collar and pressed him up against it.
" Pheebs…," he tried, finding it difficult to think of something to say, when she was having him in a near chokehold.
" No, no, don't you call me that, don't you dare call me that, cause that name is reserved for friends, Joey! Anyone walking out on me, during something that is dead important to me, is no friend of mine!" she spat angrily, finally loosening her grip and turning away. Joey slightly regained his composure, then went from scared to guilty, when he heard how she softly started to sob.
" Aw come on, Phoebe… Pheebs, please don't cry," he stated quietly, as he reached out, to place a comforting hand on her arm.
" No, no, you don't get to touch me… leave me alone," she brought out angrily, while moving away from him, attempting to stay strong.
" Phoebe, please, I don't want you to cry, I never meant for you to cry, it's just… It's… I, oh god, I'm so stupid," he muttered, gritting his teeth and forcefully slamming his head up against the door. He kept this up for quite some time, prompting Phoebe to finally react.
" Joey, Joey, no, stop doing that! You're going to get yourself hurt, you goon!" she shouted, while reaching out to pull him away from the door.
" No leave me be, Phoebe. I deserve it for being such a stupid fool and ruining your big night! I deserve it for being a big, dumb idiot! I mean, I could've told you years ago, it would've spared us all of this goddamn mess!" he suddenly blurted out, looking directly into her eyes, as she softly held his hands in hers.
" What… what are you talking about? You could've told me what?" Phoebe demanded earnestly, tightening her grip on him.
" Oh… oh shoot! No, no, nothing, nothing, I swear," he mumbled hastily, breaking their contact and turning his back to her.
" No, Joey, you're not getting off this easy! Told me what years ago?!" the blonde urged, as she quickly grabbed onto his wrist and flipped him back around.
The Italian let out a loud, desperate sigh, then softly stated: " Just go back to Mike, Pheebs. This… this thing I'm talking about, it doesn't matter. It's done, I missed my chance to tell you and it's gonna be hard for me, but I'll live with it. Just please… you… you shouldn't be here."
" No, I'm not leaving until you tell me!"
" Phoebe…"
" No, I demand to know, if this is about me, I fucking have a right to know!"
" Well, I can't tell you!"
" And why the hell not?!"
" Because it's too damn hard okay, I mean… god, I can hardly tell my soon to-be-married friend that I'm in love with her!" he blurted out, only realizing afterwards, the impact of the words he had spoken.
" You… you love me?" Phoebe asked softly.
" Yes, yes… I do," he muttered quietly, while fixing his gaze on the floor.
" Oh… oh my god, you… you love me? You really... seriously you love me?"
" Yes, Phoebe, I love you, I love you so freaking much and I have for years. I… I'm so glad I finally told you, cause god… it's been killing me inside," Joey went on passionately, as he took her hand in both of his and looked her right in the eye.
" Joey… I don't know what to say, I just… I…"
" Then, maybe you shouldn't say anything," the actor suddenly stated, in a moment of sheer confidence.
" Joey…"
" Shh," he cooed softly, before lunging forward and subjecting her to a tender, yet intense kiss, hereby pouring out all the emotions that had been building up inside of him for years, butterflies rising in his stomach, the minute his lips came into contact with hers.
But then, as soon as it had begun, the kiss had already ended, as Phoebe hastily pushed him away.
" Joey, no, we can't do this… you can't do this. It's all wrong. I am getting married, I'm getting married tomorrow."
" Yeah, you're right, I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry. Oh god, what have I done? Phoebe, please, don't be mad at me."
" I have to go now, Joseph. You can understand that, right?"
" Yes, but… I… I'm gonna miss you," the Italian muttered, while attempting to swallow the large lump, which was currently lodged in his throat, a single tear already blurring his vision, as it shined in his eye.
" Yeah, right, okay, bye," the blonde mumbled hastily, right before opening the door and promptly leaving the flat.
Joey allowed another sigh to escape his lips, as he leaned his back against his door, inwardly scolding himself for being stupid enough to give into his urge to kiss her. But he couldn't have helped himself if he tried, not when he was holding her in his arms. Never when he got the chance to gaze into her gorgeous eyes. Never when her whole presence was invading his senses, like never before.
Then, much to his dismay, there was the sound of another gentle knock. Hesitantly, he flipped back around and opened up the door, pleasantly surprised at seeing the sight in front of him.
" Joey," Phoebe whispered, as she looked up into his handsome face.
" Phoebe," he retorted almost expectantly.
" I just wanted to say that… that I'm gonna miss you too," she went on, a single tear making its way down her cheek.
Joey said nothing, only reached out to wipe away the salty droplets with his thumb, while Phoebe closed her eyes, nearly gasping, from the simple touch alone.
" Joey."
" What is it, Pheebs?" he urged, lightly brushing his fingers down her cheek.
" I… I love you," the blonde stated sincerely, moving her face ever closer to his. And then, it was like time had stopped, when they both reached forward, their lips meeting in a heated, passionate kiss. From there, it didn't take too long for Joey, to lift her up into his strong arms and carry her into his bedroom, showering every exposed part of her skin with loving pecks all the way. And once they'd arrived at their destination, they did everything they had ever dreamt of doing for ages, the experience so intense for the both of them, that it felt like their first time all over again.
Then, when their fiery lovemaking had finally come to its end, Joey embraced the love of his life tightly, never wanting to let her go again.
" I… I… hope you're not regretting this," he brought out shyly, while caressing her arm up and down.
" No, Joey, never, never with you," she whispered, before reaching out to peck him on his unbelievably soft lips.
The actor smiled warmly in response, then declared: " Now you know how much you mean to me."
" Yeah… and you know how much you mean to me."
" Yeah… you're staying, right?"
" Of course I'm staying."
" What about Mike?"
Phoebe sighed and shifted in his arms, then retorted: " I… I never loved him, Joey. I like him, sure, but I've only been in love once and my first love is right here lying next to me. I'm gonna tell him we're over in the morning, as harsh as that may sound."
" You were my first love too, Pheebs. It was always you," Joey whispered sincerely, while lifting her hand and kissing it tenderly.
" Oh Joseph," she smiled, then moved back on top of him, enthusiastically claiming his lips, fully ready to prove her love to him once again.