A/N: Okay, so here's a brand new Phoey-oneshot. This one will be centering around TOW Joey speaks French, cause it's always endearing how those two try to help out one another. Also: this one's going to be containing a little more dialogue from the episode, as opposed to the other oneshots, since it proved a little more tricky to really get the Phoey-feel in, with just the one scene. Anyways, have fun reading the following:

" Je m'apelle Claude," Phoebe attempted to teach Joey, for the gazilionth time that day. She'd agreed to help him sharpen up his French, for his audition, but was already regretting giving in, since her best friend didn't really seem to be catching on all that well.

" Je decode blue!" the actor yelled, desperately trying to convince her that he did possess the skill to speak a foreign language, but faltering horribly, in the process.

" Nooo!" his blonde friend yelled, prompting Joey to slam his hand down onto the counter, heave a frustrated sigh and nearly give up.

" Okay, maybe if we just break it down. Okay, let's just, let's try it one syllable at a time. Okay, so repeat after me: je, " Phoebe tried making things easier for him, so he would finally see the light.

" Je."

" M'a."

" M'a."

" Pelle."

" Pelle."

" Great, okay faster," the masseuse declared hopefully, repeating each syllable one more time, really believing he'd finally understood it, when he got them all out successfully.

" Je m'apelle."

" Me poupou!" Joey burst out some random drivel proudly.

Phoebe then looked at him for a minute, afraid that she would hurt his feelings, if she were to speak out. Then, she ultimately got up from her seat and went to get her jacket.

" Okay, it's too hard, I can't teach you!"

" What are you doin'?" Joey asked, out of genuine curiosity, a hint of panic lacing his tone.

" I… I have to go, before I put your head through a wall," the feisty blonde clarified, right before disappearing through the door.

" Noo, don't go! I need you! My audition is tomorrow! Je blue bla! Me la peeh! Oh bla... pooh," Joey finally exclaimed, in an utterly defeated fashion, as he headed back into his own apartment, after fruitlessly chasing after Phoebe.

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The next day, Joey was sitting in his barcalounger, with a wide smirk plastered on his face. He'd just counted to five, in what he assumed was impeccable French, with the help of a book and accompanying tape. He was feeling especially satisfied, since the guy on the recording, had just complimented him on a job well done.

He smiled once more, and was just about to head up to the next chapter, when all of a sudden the door opened.

" Hey, Joey," Phoebe brought out, as she came walking into the apartment. After thinking over Joey's little situation again, she'd experienced a change of heart, as she'd come to the conclusion that maybe she'd been way too hard on him, the day before. In the end she still felt that, as his friend, it was her duty to help him to the best of her abilities. Even if it might take hours. And since Joey had already proved, plenty of times that he was there for her, when she needed him the most, she figured she could just as well do him this tiny favor.

" Hey."

" Listen, I feel really badly about yesterday, and I thought about it a lot…no. I was too impatient, so let's try it again."

" Oh no, that's okay: I don't need your help. I worked on it myself and I gotta say I am pretty good," Joey stated confidently.

" Really, can I hear some of it?" Phoebe queried, excited to hear about his progress.

" Sure, sure, okay… hmm: bleh de la bleh de blue bla bleh… see!" Joey got out cheerfully, truly believing he was speaking some top notch French, indeed.

" Right… you're not… You're not… again: you're, you're not speaking French!" the feisty blonde hollered, really losing her patience now.

" Oh well, I think I am, yeah! And I think I'm definitely going to get the part!" the Italian defended himself eagerly.

" How could you possibly think that?!"

" Well, for one thing: the guy on the tape said I was doing a good job!" Joey defended himself, matter-of-factly. How could she keep doubting him like this, after all? They were best friends and it frustrated him to no end, that he apparently wasn't able to please her. He always loved to put that unique, proud smile, which seemed reserved only for him on her face.

Phoebe then let out a loud sigh and softly stated: " Joseph Francis, when will you get it through your thick skull, that all that gibberish you spouted out both yesterday and today, doesn't even remotely resemble French… in any way?"

" Oh, it so totally does resemble it! Ya know what, Pheebs? I'm really getting sick of this little attitude you've got goin' on! Why do you keep saying that I'm doin' it wrong, when the opposite is true?! The tape-guy, for one, was very encouraging! Why can't you just act like him?! I mean: I know I might not be as fluent at it as you are, but you're also like… way smarter than me!"

" Joey… I'm going to try one more time and… again, I'm only, only saying this for your own good: you. were. not. speaking… French!" the masseuse roared, no longer able to contain an upcoming surge of anger. Why wouldn't he just listen to her? It would be so much easier, if he just were to listen.

" I was!" her actor friend threw back heatedly, as he got right into her face.

Phoebe didn't say anything, just shook her head, then finally declared: " Well, if you just HAVE to go and make a complete fool out of yourself, Joey, than that's up to you, okay. Just don't expect any more help from me, alright? I… I can't deal with this… with you, when you're being needlessly stubborn."

" Fine! I don't need your help anyways, as I'm sure I said before! I'll just keep on rehearsing with my new best friend: the tape-guy! Yeah… I mean: he's definitely a LOT nicer than you are!" the Italian man dished out cruelly, while picking up his radio and holding it out in front of him, to prove a point.

" Well, okay then: fine!" his best friend retorted, after having emitted a soft gasp, at the sheer boldness of his statement.

" Fine!"

" Fine!" Phoebe shouted, through gritted teeth, right before storming out the door in a fit of pure rage.

For a few more minutes, Joey just stood there, staring at the closed door. Then, he slowly made his way over to the counter, grabbed a hold of his phone and began dialing.

" Awh, answering-machine… goddamnit… Yeah, Chan... or Mon.: if any of the two of you happen to catch this: could you like, please explain to me what " stubborn" means?

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It was only a few hours later though, that Phoebe sneaked right into the very theatre, where Joey's audition was being held. She now felt real dismal about declining him more assistance and arguing with him, earlier on. Even if some of the fighting they'd done, was completely his fault, she still wanted to support him and see him perform in the end. She wasn't entirely coldhearted, after all.

As she had of course foreseen, her actor friend was currently doing a terrible job and she involuntarily cringed, embarrassed on his behalf: he was messing up… badly… The scene in front of her, almost made her want to scream: here he was, making himself look like a full-blown ass and all that just shouldn't have happened.

' Well, it wouldn't have happened, if he'd just taken the time to listen and properly learn!' she found herself thinking, with some resentment towards her best friend.

' Alright, I can't take this any longer… ugh, he looks so unhappy,' she pondered, after the director of the play had predictably rejected him.

" Uh, excuse me: uh, I am Regine Philange. I… I was passing by, when I 'eard this man speaking the regional dialect, of my French town of… Estée Lauder," she subsequently undertook a weak attempt at saving Joey, as she introduced herself to the guy that called the shots. Maybe, just maybe… she would be able to spare her friend more unnecessary humiliation, this way.

" You really think this man is speaking French?" the director inquired, in sheer disbelief.

It was at the utterance of these words, that the blonde realized she needed to opt for a different approach, if she wanted this to work out. Then, after giving it a little more thought, she finally put up a scarce story, about how Joey was somewhat retarded and that she wanted the guy opposite her to humor him, which he compassionately agreed to… luckily.

' Oh, it's so good to see him smiling again,' she then mused joyfully, noting the broad grin on her best friend's face, as they walked out of the theatre together.

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" So, you pretty much saved my ass back there, huh. What did you say to that fella, anyway?" Joey asked curiously, with a little smirk, after they'd gone back to his place.

" What are you talking about? He liked your French. I didn't say anything that really mattered. It turns out you were right after all, haha. Silly me: doubting you," Phoebe retorted unconvincingly, swallowing her pride as she felt that her friend's happiness was more important to her, at this very moment.

" Awh, come on, Pheebs. I can tell from your face, that you're lyin'. I always can! I wasn't born tomorrow, ya know."

" Yesterday," the masseuse offered, prompting the actor to fire a puzzled glance her way.

" What about it?"

" I wasn't born YESTERDAY."

" Right, I know! Who said you were? I gotta tell ya, Phoebe: sometimes you say the weirdest stuff," Joey chuckled ignorantly, while walking up to the fridge to retrieve a bucket of fried chicken.

" Ew, Joey: how can you still eat that? It's gone all cold and soggy," Phoebe queried, as she crinkled her nose in utter disgust. Meat was gross anyway, but not having it when it was still the right temperature, was even more unsettling to her, in a way.

" So? It's chicken… it's meat: good meat. I'm not throwin' it out, cause it's a little bit colder than before, come on. That would be crazy!" her best friend defended his approach, with a full mouth. Then, once he'd swallowed it all, he got a playful grin on his face, as he slowly began walking towards the blonde.

" You don't know what you're missing, with the whole veggie-thing, you know. This is reeaal tasty. Here, take a whiff: it smells amazing," he subsequently teased, while holding the bucket right up underneath her nose.

" Joey, ew… no. Get that thing out of my face. Get it out of my face, now, Joseph! I'm warning you!" the woman in question protested, as she closed her eyes, turned her head away and blindly started flailing her hands, in the general direction of said bucket.

" Oh, just smell it, please just smell it. It ain't that bad, come on. It's only a bit of chicken," the good-looking Italian pressed, while laughing heartily, at her overdramatic behavior.

' Darn, she looks so cute like that. Her hair's pretty nice too. I wouldn't mind kissin' her,' his mind suddenly presented him, with a most wondrous reflection.

Joey kept on smiling dreamily, for a little while longer, until it finally seemed like his previous, improper thought had caught up with him, as his eyes abruptly snapped open. What was that all about? Kissing her? She looks CUTE? What?!

' This is Phoebe, your best friend Phoebe, goddamnit: focus!' he inwardly chided himself. God, what was it with him having completely inappropriate thoughts about women, who were either pregnant or hitched… or FRIENDS for that matter?

" No, I won't… I will not…" Phoebe panted, quickly calling a halt to her sentence, once she'd opened her eyes and detected the odd look on her friend's face.

" Joey, uhm… are you like, feeling okay?" she asked, out of sheer worry, while gently grazing a thumb over his cheek, hereby causing him to shiver, as his eyes fluttered shut, at the pleasant touch.

" Uhm… yeah, sure, fine. Same old Joey, ya know: Knicks, sex… food!" the actor ultimately exclaimed nervously, as he swiftly took a few steps back from her and proudly showed her his bucket.

' Damn, what do they put into those little wings, nowadays?' he then found himself thinking, while he held up one of the chicken-bits and intently started eyeing it, with a grand expression of suspicion, overruling his features.

" Joseph, are you positive that you're doing okay? You're acting kind of floopy," the blonde urged, feeling really confused, as she watched him grabbing onto random pieces of chicken, holding them up, while he turned them around and observed them, in the utmost fascination.

" Huh?"

" Okay, so let's put this away, shall we?" she subsequently suggested, trying to get his attention by taking his beloved snack from him and setting it atop the counter.

" So, what's up?"

" Nothin', Pheebs. I'm tellin' ya. I'm fine!... But hey, actually: there's something I still need to do, now that you're here anyway," Joey suddenly muttered sincerely, while looking her in the eyes… oh those gorgeous eyes of hers.

' Eyes, since when do I ever look at a girl's eyes?' he then wondered in utter bafflement, as he fiercely scratched at the back of his head. What the heck was going on here?

" Yeah, what's that?"

" I uh… I really wanna say thanks, you know, for trying to help me and comin' to watch the audition, and… and talking to that director… even, even if I treated you like dirt earlier," he began to explain, lowering his gaze to the floor, in apparent embarrassment.

" Oh, Joey: that's okay! I was glad to help out. That's what friends are for, right?" the masseuse chirped, as she tilted his chin and cupped both of his cheeks.

" Yeah, friends…" Joey trailed on, giving out an uneasy chuckle, in the process.

" So, you do admit it then?"

What?" Phoebe queried, in genuine curiosity.

" That you said something to that guy, to make me look good?"

" Oh yeah, well… whatever I said, it was only in your best interest, ya know. I couldn't let you lose face. I love you way too much for that," the blonde then offered with a little smile, friskily pinching his shoulder, once she took in how grateful he really was. He could just be so adorable, at times.

" Aawh, I love you too, Pheebs."

" Well, duh: of course you do. I mean: out of all of the six of us, we get along the best by far."

" Yeah, er… so, Phoebe?"

" Uhu?"

" Did you like… ever wonder… why that is… us getting along so well, I mean?" Joey asked uncertainly.

" Oh, I dunno… maybe because we're both hot and like, crazily attractive?" the blonde joked, while beaming at him.

" Yeah, that's probably it. I'm hot, obviously and you… well you're smokin'," the actor suddenly brought out, really rather too serious.

Phoebe however, was blissfully unaware of this, as she spiritedly ruffled his hair with the words: " Oh you."

" So, uh… but anyway, thanks," he expressed his gratitude once more, before leaning forward, to place a chaste peck on her lips, as he'd done plenty of times before.

This time however… there was something different, about the way her lips felt against his. This time… he didn't want to stop at just the one little, friendly peck. With all this, reeling feverishly through his mystified head, he didn't know what possessed him, when he suddenly wound his arms around her delicate waist, fiercely gripping onto her with all his might, as he started to kiss her more intensely, his hand slowly travelling up to her face, to brush back a lost lock of silky blonde hair.

" Joey, no! What are you doing?!" his friend's voice pulled him out of his lust-fueled reverie, after she'd had to use all of her force to push him away.

" Well?!" Phoebe demanded, a stern expression splayed out over her face, as she stood there, glaring at him with her arms crossed in front of her chest. What had gotten into him, just now? Kissing her like that? So wild and… passionate… and good.

' Good?! Ugh really: GOOD?! Would you listen to yourself, Phoebe Buffay! You are a married woman, now! Yeah, AND you only just came back from your honeymoon, with MIKE! And that dumb crush you had on Joey, was years ago! You don't feel that way about him anymore now, surely?! Oh, I don't know: do I? Yes, do you? Oh aargh!...'

" Well?! I asked you a damn question!" she then repeated herself, attempting to distract herself from her foolish musings. God, she really hated having all these different voices in her head, sometimes.

" I uh… uhm… oh jesus, Pheebs: I'm sorry. I… I don't know what got into me just now. It's just all this time you've been here, I..."

" You what?!"

" Well, I don't know. I just… I…"

" Today please, Joseph," the masseuse prompted, while impatiently tapping her foot.

" I er… I've been feeling funny," her best friend ultimately mumbled awkwardly.

" Funny how?"

I'm kinda seeing you in a different light. That IS an expression, right?" the actor squeaked helplessly, as he aimlessly began to rub at his forearm, desperately trying to regain his composure.

" Urgh, well it's a little late for that, don't ya think? For the record, Joey, just in case you forgot: I'm married, hitched, tied, joined through vows! Whatever you want to call it! I should think you would've remembered that, since, oh… I don't know: you were the minister, you know the guy that goes: yadda yadda yadda… you may now kiss the bride!"

" I know!" I just… I don't think Mike's the right guy for you, Phoebe!"

" Oho, excuse me?! Sorry, I thought you just said that my HUSBAND wasn't suited for me! But, I'm sure that was just a glitch. Heck, I probably have water in my ears again or something!" Phoebe bellowed indignantly, her voice gaining a dangerous pitch, while her best friend winced and put a hand over his ear.

" No, I mean it! I mean: I'm very sorry about this, Phoebe, but somewhere in the back of my head, I think I've always… thought that. Ever since I set you up on that date with him."

" Oh, right: that awesome date, where I picked out one of my more risqué friends, you know, to do you a favor and you set me up with a total stranger! You know, sometimes I'm still half-mad at you for that! you're only lucky me and said stranger hit it off so well and that we got married in the end!"

" Well, have you ever stopped to wonder that maybe there's a reason, why I didn't pick out one of my friends for you?!" Joey threw back, no longer able to keep things in, as they suddenly all seemed to connect in his head.

" No! Wait… what are you… what are you saying?" Phoebe prompted, finding herself to be perplexed by his words.

" I'm saying that the few male friends I have outside of our little circle, are nowhere near good enough for ya, Pheebs! I… I didn't want any of 'em having a chance with you, cause they'd only end up breakin' your heart! And I... I would never forgive myself, wouldn't be able to live with myself, if I had to think you had your heart broken and… and that it was all because of me! You know why?! Because you mean the world to me and I care about you! You are like the only girl ever, that I've cared so much about!"

" I… I care about you," he then repeated softly, after a while of tense silence, as his fingertips slowly traced an imaginary line, all the way from her temple, down to her chin and lips.

" Jo… Joey?" his blonde friend whispered, feeling herself growing weak, both at the feather-light touch to her skin, as at the wide array of beautiful words he'd just bombarded her with. Who would ever even have thought, that Joey Tribbiani was in fact quite the closeted poet? SHE certainly wouldn't have seen it coming.

" I care about you," the actor whispered once more, while he now pressed his forehead right up against hers, his dark eyes boring themselves straight into her lighter ones.

" Joey, please..." Phoebe pleaded faintly, desperately trying to fight the inevitable, as she now felt a light, but definite flame beginning to spark in her gut, the little waves of fire reaching an alarming crescendo, once she felt herself getting more and more addicted, to that yearning glint in his chocolate-brown orbs.

" I care about you, I. care. about. you.," he kept repeating, emphasizing each syllable, as he started showering her luscious, inviting lips with the lightest wisps of kisses and began running both his hands through the silky tresses of blonde hair, to further intensify his goal: his goal of kissing her… of worshipping her with everything he had been building up inside for years, of showing her just how breathtakingly beautiful, how unbelievably amazing, how exceptionally valuable he truly believed her to be.

" Oh, oh, Joey, ooh," the object of his affection groaned, once she experienced the sensation of a skilled tongue, gently flicking itself over the bob of her throat.

" Joey, don't stop, oh don't… ever, Joey, unh Jo… ey, ah," she spurred him on with little moans, while madly beginning to muss his hair about. Neither Mike, nor any other guy for that matter, had ever made her feel like THIS.

From then on, it wasn't too long till she'd deftly wrapped both of her legs around his waist, as he slowly carried her over to the counter and continued his invigorating journey, of the wonderland that was her body: nipping, kissing, licking, biting… at her shoulder, at her neck, her collarbone: nothing truly seemed off limits and this was a thought that excited him tremendously: to perceive that she might let him have her, after all.

It now finally rang through his head, that he'd never desired a woman more than her: the very woman who'd been right in front of his nose, for all this time. God, how could he ever have been so stupid, as not to see it?

" Are you… are you sure you wanna do this?" he finally inquired, face flushed and breath still mingling with hers, after he'd gathered up the will to break away from her. He didn't want to take this any further, unless she gave him her full consent. He would never do anything, without her approval.

" Yes. I've never… I've never been more sure about anything in my life, ever, Joey," Phoebe panted, as she hungrily gazed into his eyes and grabbed a tight hold of his hand.

" What… what about Mike?" the dreaded question slowly made its way over the actor's lips. He was currently fighting a battle to keep focus, as she dotted tender pecks across the entirety of his jawline.

" Shh… no Mike. Let's… let's not talk about Mike. Tonight is just for us, my sweet," his love interest whispered into his ear, before giving it a few nips, causing Joey to shudder.

" Tonight is for us," she repeated, swiftly positioning his hand on her bra-clad breast, as she passionately began to probe his mouth, smiling when one of his grunts vibrated against her bottom lip.

Before this amazing encounter had started, Phoebe would have never ever even thought about cheating on Mike, but now, now… with all these new thrills coursing through her very being, she wondered why in the world her and Joey had never done this before. It all just felt so right… so natural, so… magical. Like everything fell into place, after years of aimlessly searching.

" Let's take this somewhere more private," she ultimately urged, swiftly hopping of the counter and guiding an half-naked Joey into the bedroom with her, where they lived out their every fantasy, thinking of nothing but each other, while doing so.

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" Wow baby: messin' up some French lines, was definitely the best thing I ever did," Joey whistled, as he lay alongside Phoebe, their legs still intertwined from their previous activities.

" Yeah: it was great, I was great… you were… sorta good too," the masseuse commented teasingly, chuckling when her former friend threw her a glare.

" Okay: you were top-notch quality, is that what you wanna hear? You, Joseph Francis Tribbiani, are without a doubt the best sex a girl could ever have."

" Why thank you, I've had a lot of practice. I got perfect just for you," Joey retorted, smiling sweetly at her, before he began combing his fingers through her hair and intently started studying her stunning face.

" Well, I'd like to think I deserve perfection at the very least."

" Yeah, you do," the actor giggled, his hand finding hers under the sheet and squeezing it tightly.

" But hey, Pheebs?" he subsequently asked, his voice taking on a more serious edge.

" Yeah?"

" What does this mean, for us? I mean I can't expect ya to leave Mike, so…"

" But Joey: I WANT to leave Mike. I mean… I still care about him a lot, obviously, but after… after what we did last night, I just… I don't think, that I can ever get truly happy with him again. Not… not when the guy I really want and love is so close."

" Wow, wait a minute: what guy might that be, huh?! Cause I'ma track him down and do some serious punchin'!" Joey suddenly declared heatedly, as he balled up a fist.

" Ugh, for the love of god, Joseph: I'm talking about you!"

" Oh… really? You love me, seriously?" he queried, beaming at her.

" Well, duh: I just said I did, didn't I? I'm really dreading breaking the news to Mike, though," Phoebe sighed, as she slowly turned to lie on her back and stared up at the ceiling.

" Awh, don't worry: I'll… I'll do it with you. We'll do it together. Like: I can start off with one of Chandler's jokes, or somethin'," her former friend offered, hereby causing her to give him an irritated look.

" Or… ya know, we could just tell him without the jokes," Joey shrugged, as the blonde beside him nodded her approval.

Then, there was a long silence, as they just gazed into one another's eyes for a while, before Phoebe finally decided to break it.

" Thanks Joey, for offering your help. It really means a lot."

" Hey, that's okay: we're in this together, right? And besides… I'd kill for you if needed. I love ya, Pheebs and nothing in the world is ever going to change that," the actor proclaimed quietly, right before reaching over to place another gentle peck to her lips.

" Oh you," his love interest cooed, before allowing herself to be swept up in his embrace, as they further indulged in the privileges of their new-found, blooming affections.