-Just the Gang- ### = 'Commercial Break'
Hey so here's the Swarkles wedding reception we didn't get I hope I did a Ted enough toast… Warning there is mention of divorce but just bare with me!
After the ceremony, Barney and Robin new happily married couple it was time from the reception. And reception toasts.
Ted readily stood tapping his glass for everyone's attention, "Hello everyone I'm Ted Mosby, Barney's best man." Ted began.
"Wow it's so amazing to be here today at this wedding! For these two people, I've known both Robin and Barney to describe themselves as lone wolves. When I met Barney he told me he was going to teach me how to live, that we were going to be each other's wingmen… and also to get a suit." Ted paused while everyone laughed. "When I first met Robin she told me that she didn't know if she ever wanted to get married at all. And today, this weekend there were so many ups and downs to get them to the end of the aisle I didn't know if she would either. But every hurdle they went through this weekend they went and came through together. Because they're a team, I think they always were, even when they would say they were lone wolves, even after they had a rough patches. All the mishaps they've endured and adventures that lead them to today…" he paused again. "Are what helped them to become who they needed for each other to continue being a team and keep having new mishaps and new adventures to help each other continue grow…" he stopped to look at Robin.
"Robin you're so intuitive, courageous, and one of the most stubborn… and compassionate woman I've ever met. I'm glad you've found a teammate to continue being awesome with… And Barney you'll always be legen-wait for it… dary." Ted said in his best Barney impersonation, and everyone laughed again.
"Because you're funny, helpful, you go above and beyond expectations for the people you care about, maybe you're not longer my wingman, but you'll always be my best friend. You guys are awesome, I love both of you, and wish nothing but the best." Ted said then leaned in giving them both a hug & kiss. "Go tear it up! For the rest of your lives, monogamy style!" he joked, and the room laughed again while they clapped and held up their glasses. "To Robin and Barney!" he finished.
Then after Ted's toast Barney started tearing up.
"Oh my god are you crying?!" Robin teased.
"What?! No I'm not crying- you're crying!" Barney denied.
"You're such a sap, Ted's not even crying, and those are sooo tears!" Robin countered.
"Just admit it dude, you're crying over my beautifully well written toast." Ted jested, as he nodded and took a bow.
"I am not! And I will never admit it!" he paused, then continued, "In fact on my gravestone you'll read: Here lies Barney Stinson, Loving Husband, Laser Tag Champion of the Universe, Ted's best friend-"
"I'm his best friend." "Wow Ted gets a name drop but your wife doesn't." Marshall and Robin say at the same time, but Barney just continues, "… quote: 'And I was not crying.' End quote because I was not crying!"
[He did cry. Your aunt Lily even took pictures, and every year she and Marshall send them to him on their wedding anniversary via text, those odd music e-mails uncle Marshall makes, once they even sent them to both of them on a cake! Robin immediately texted them back, 'Still a lame sap. And is this cake from Kimberly's?']
"Okay Barney whatever you say." Lily says.
"Crying. You're so lame! I can't believe I married you." Robin says but is looking at him lovingly and then leans in for another kiss. Ted looks at them smiling, remembered what Lily had said earlier, and she was right seeing his best friends together happy did make him happy.
"That reminds me. Pay up!" Lily exclaimed to Marshall. He sighed, "Yeah, you won." Marshall said, handing over the five bucks defeated but also couldn't help but smile.
"Oh it's time to cut the cake!" Ted said to them then laughed and said, "You guys remember how much you both liked-" cue the roadrunner soundtrack because they were already over to the cake. Quickly slicing into it cutely for the photos then in a blink of an eye they were back at the table, even knocking a small child over in the process.
"-it at the taste-testing?" Ted finished, and they were already digging in.
"Oh my god this cake! If I wasn't already married to you I'd marry this cake!" Barney exclaimed moaning.
"I know right! I think we've made a mistake we have to get a divorce…" Robin paused for affect, "Just so we can both marry this cake! I mean I never thought I'd say this… but I want to make this into a threesome!" she said. Then they both took another bite and let out another moan of delight together and joined hands.
[Kids as you know your uncle Barney and aunt Robin still talks about that cake to this very day.]
"Yeah it is good! What bakery is it from?" Lily asks, as they've now been served.
"Yeah I need to know who thank!" Marshall said with a mouthful of cake.
"Javier the baker. From surprisingly Kimberly's Bakery." Ted said knowing the answer since he helped pick the bakery.
[It was named after Javier's daughter, which Robin and Barney ended up helping put through college by recommending his bakery so often.]
###
After everyone was satisfied with the cake, "Well I guess it's time for the bride and groom's first dance!" Barney announces excitedly.
"Yeah you guys better go get into your seats." Robin says pointing over to a long rectangular table positioned in front of a three-stacked stage.
"Huh? I don't remember that stage being there a second ago…" Marshall remarked.
"Yeah guys that was never on the seating chart… Guys?" Ted stated as he, Lily and Marshall turned back to see Robin and Barney had disappeared again.
They relocated to the rectangular table in front and sat accordingly to the nametags Marshall, Ted, and then Lily.
The lights dimmed and then there was a spotlight on the stage, on either sides of the stage were showgirls dressed in tuxedo leotards and fishnets. Then Barney and Robin entered atop the stage, Robin's bottom half of her wedding dress was gone, her vale was missing, and her hair down, both of them wearing sunglasses.
A sound comes through the speakers Robin and Barney start by slowly lowering their sunglasses off, then toss them aside while trading positions. Then the beat hits and their hands are together but they're arms length apart, and start stepping back and forth to the beat of the Michael Jackson's song "Smooth Criminal." Robin turns and Barney dips as she kicks her left leg into the air and then she crouches and he begins to spin her.
The showgirls are all doing similar movements off to the side but everyone is focused on Robin and Barney.
They're back up and dashing across the stage, she then jumps, and splits into the air. They do more spins, jumps, other quick dips, and movements to the beat. Then they separate, and Barney leaps off the stage into a ballerina-like spin, and then soon there after he lifts Robin off and next to him as well. Several more quick motions spinning around each other, and then canons of confetti go off as they jump off the next step! Then they're on the floor pounding the confetti back into the air, jumping, and splashing it around like it was water! Standing back up, jumping around, then back down, one cartwheel in the air, and then the last beat hit and Robin was in a one armed dip!
Before anyone can so much as bring their hands together to clap the lights go out and back on again! And then the showgirls are gone... and there are suddenly two fully set tables on both ends of the stage.
Barney enters and goes to one then pulls the tablecloth so quickly that nothing on the table is startled. Everyone claps at this as he holds the tablecloth up and begins spinning around with it, the music begins as he hoists it up and starts waving it around. Robin enters does the with the other table and then wraps that cloth around her waist somehow, making it into a tail of a skirt. Then comes behind him and he spins into a crouching position she kicks her right leg up and around. The music beats then goes slow, Barney dips Robin like he did before the last part of the previous dance, and then gently places her on the floor. She rolls over, out immediately, and stands, he holds onto her and they both pull back balancing with each other's weight. Then the beat hits again and the music quickens as do their movements as then begin pacing, and spinning around. Then the still pounding their fists into their palms to the beat, and then Robin summersaults up and over Barney's head. Next they're waltzing around, leaping, lifting, and more kicks, as the music gets more intense. Then Barney leaping into a quick split in the air and off the stage, with Robin quickly following, then the music speeds up again they dash around then back on the stage. Several quick formations, then Barney spins Robin around dropping her into a final dramatic dip!
Everyone breaks into applause again and Barney and Robin smile towards 'the audience' while they breathe heavily.
"Wow! That was so… You two were just so…Wow!" Lily said in to the microphone that happened to be in from of all three of them.
"Yeah… I mean you two… There was… Just like your movements…" Ted scrambled.
"I think what Ted is trying to say is that you were so in sync. It was impressive." Marshall said smoothly.
"Thank you that means a lot coming from you Marshall!" Barney laughed nervously into a mic that just appeared into his hand.
"From all of you really! Thank you, thank you so much!" Robin leaned into the mic to say.
###
Following the bride & groom's first dance the stages, judge's table mysteriously disappeared, the band appeared in their place, and then everyone began to flood the dance floor. Barney started swinging Lily across and Marshall danced with Robin. Ted watched and smiled from afar then made his way through the crowd and tapped Marshall's shoulder and said, "May I?" Marshall willingly stepped aside and left the exes alone to dance.
"Hard to follow that first dance and that table trick!? What an awesome shock!" Ted started, breaking the silence.
"You're really surprised that at Barney Stinson's wedding there was magic?" Robin replied giggling, and looked over his shoulder. Ted looked too, and now unsurprised to see Barney, Lily and Marshall dancing all over the place wildly. Robin's stare lingered as Ted looked back at her, and smiled in his loving Ted Mosby look.
"Whatcha thinking about Teddy?" Robin inquired.
"I was just remembering back when we had just met, that night we first kissed and I felt like a jackass-" Robin interrupted, "Ted…"
"-And you had played 'Haaave you met Ted?' with that girl and I came back telling you it didn't work out…" Ted continued away.
"Oh yeah… and then Barney got all defensive like, 'Whoa, whoa, whoa Roxanne you played 'Haaave you met Ted?' in my bar with my Ted?!' and then made a joke about Canada." Robin recalled.
"Yeah! And then afterwards Lily declared you were part of a gang now and then you went a got the next round… Well when you left she also told us that neither of us could bang you because she wanted you to stay apart of our lives…" Ted paused to glance back at Robin to see her compassionate smile about Lily's loyal-ness.
"And we only could if we married you, and then Barney wiped his hands of the notion and said, 'Too rich for my blood.' But the son-of-a-bitch really did it!" Ted finished.
"Yeah he did…" Robin looked down and smiled to herself.
Did I scare ya? Yep look at the title 'the divorce' was 'All Because of the Cake' lol Anyways I highly recommend you go watch these two videos from youtube that I based the dances on:
youtubecom/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=aMV7NsWo67s#t=70
youtubecom/watch?v=ws2rVo00ZuQ&feature=player_detailpage#t=73
I described them as best as I could trying not to make it too long…