Chapter 5
It was noon and the lair was dark and silent. Since we could only really go top-side at night we ran on a nocturnal cycle. Casey had left hours ago after we finally ate the pizza he brought while we watched Ocean's Eleven. Mikey had then played some video game until ten and then finally dragged his butt to his room to pass out. Leo, ever the first of us to wake, went to bed at the reasonable time of eight. He would be up at four sharp (a good few hours before Mikey would reappear again). Don and April had worked until almost eleven when April finally announced defeat saying she couldn't think straight after being awake for more than thirty hours straight. I sent April to my room to catch some Z's. She tried to argue that she didn't mind going home, but I told her she was too tired to drive and I couldn't use my room so someone may as well enjoy it. Goodness knows I couldn't help but think about how much I missed my hammock as I lay on the lair's hard concrete floor. Before she turned in, she had forced Don to his room. She insisted he get at least a few hours of rest, but I knew Don. He'd be up just after Leo. Don had no reservations in pumping insane quantities of caffeine into his bloodstream if it would allow him to run on only a couple hours of sleep. When a project overtook him, sleep became a nuisance instead of a priority. However, with April staying at the lair, Don now had no other option but to go to bed lest he incur April's fury. I was now the only one awake and I knew sleep was nowhere near.
Even though my family slept deeply I knew that they still shared my worry, but my fear ran deeper than their anxiety. If this went as badly as Donnie predicted I risked losing not just myself but my family as well. I was terrified about what this second mass mutation was going to do to me. The first one was bad enough, but another? In a lot of ways I had been lucky the first time. Yeah I was huge freak, but at least I was still essentially Raphael. My thoughts, my memories, my emotions, my mind were all still mine. There was no guarantee my luck would last through the next mutation. Worse yet, if I turned into an even more terrible monster and lost control of my mind… I could barely entertain the thought. I would no longer be my family's protector, but instead I would be their destruction.
Even just lying on the lair floor trying to summon sleep made me nervous. What if I changed in my sleep? What if this was the last time that I would see my life through my eyes? I knew Don was trying his best and if anyone was up for the challenge he was, but I couldn't help but think, as he took skin, blood, saliva, and all other imaginable chunks of my body for sampling, it was a lost cause.
A major reason I hadn't returned directly to the lair in the first place was because I refused to be a threat to my family. I had come back only because my brothers had convinced me that I wouldn't be a danger, but now that I knew I was a ticking time bomb I was even more of a threat. Yes, Donnie was my only hope for a cure, but I just couldn't stick around and wait for him to find one as my mutation-day drew ever closer. I am not afraid to take risks but I only ever gamble what I believe I can afford to lose. I'd willing risk myself but never my family. They were the only thing of true value in my life.
I only had one real option.
I began to feel around the inside of my shell near the spot where Mikey had subtly placed Don's tracker. It took a few minutes of digging but I finally managed to find it and pull it out. As soon as it was in my claws I squished it. This time I would not let my brothers find me. I took one last look around what was once my home preparing to leave, but before I left, an idea struck me. I slid my hand over the inside of my shell and found the bump, which was the handle of my sai. I smoothly pulled it out and gazed at it a moment, my eyes watering. I stood up and quietly placed it at the base of Leo's bedroom door. I did not look back as I began my journey. This time I would not return.