Dear Authors,

Hello, everybody. A few days ago, I found Eren throwing up in the bathroom, when I brought him some water and asked him, he told me to look for myself. Entering this portal where all can "unleash their imagination", I had to admit; some of the things in here are over-imaginative. There is so much false information regarding me! Some of which made me cough, and some that made me turn my head away. One thing that embarrassed me was a few stories regarding me and Eren. Being one of his closest friends, I could not feel uncomfortable at some of the "lemons" you write about us, even though they were written well, it's just that the content was too much for me to take. Eren is a very noble person with an equally wide heart, and I do believe that he is straight. You will get the both of us in deep trouble if Mikasa finds out about you pairing us together! Please take this into consideration, but do not take this to be too offensive.

And some of you also wrote very mature-themed stories about me and Annie; it's very embarrassing and awkward. For one, up until now, I've never considered Annie's feelings-as you say she has-for me, because she doesn't. We share a bond of mutual admiration, and I am very grateful that she spared my life. I do believe she is kind inside, and one day we will be close friends. And as for those of you who expect romance from me and Krista, it will probably not happen. She's an angel for helping us, but nearly everyone crushes hard on her (I do believe Reiner will hurt me if I did, not that I do), I only value her as a trustworthy partner alongside all of us. She has had a really tough past, but it is all of our responsibilities to become the family she's never had. So naturally, you might see me talking with her, but it will not be romantic in any way.

Admitting all these girls you do expect me to reciprocate feelings if at all, they are pretty, but I do not love them. Thank you.

There were also many other girls you wrote with me, and I'll let that slide for now. I may write back again to you if the stories including us double in numbers.

Please also, to those of you who are writing me as "sick, pale or weakly", I do not appreciate it. I have fought and killed my shares of Titans, and I assure you that I do not get the flu every day! And although I possess an above-average intelligence please do not over-exasperate my abilities as to say I am the most powerful. And please do not make me speak vulgar language in your stories; I don't believe I do that. And even if you must write a homosexual story concerning me, please do not make me into a he-she, for I am 100% male. And as for those of you who pair me up with other boys, please do not turn me into a girl somehow, whether it's a story saying I was always a girl hiding her identity or I have just turned into a girl to date...uh, Eren..., by some means of magic, it is not possible. We use divided public dorm showers, with the exception of Captain Levi, and we do have to give our gender before we even enroll in the Corps.

But I do feel flattered to a degree, that many of you wrote very positive and clean stories about me. I enjoyed reading some of them, but for future reference, please take my feelings into consideration.

Sincerely,

Armin Arlert

P.S This is Mikasa Ackerman writing. I do not love Armin in a romantic kind of manner. Refrain from writing such impotence immediately.

He was the most difficult to write...

Ugh. This is for you, Hipster Armin, since you requested it first. Is Armin in character? Omo, I don't know...please give me feedback on this chapter especially!

Now tell me, whose next?