Hello citizens,

I sincerely apologize for my messy scrawl; it cannot be helped since I am still learning to adapt to writing with my non dominant hand. Typing is truly out of question for now. It is not often that I can find time in my schedule to respond, so please excuse my tardiness. I am informed by Coporal Levi that there have been "sacrilege of the soldier's code of honor and privacy", hence I am writing to you this very moment. I believe in freedom of every kind, be it speech or thought. But when it is misused to spread false rumors about any of our soldiers for mere sexual gratification, I believe that it is indeed a problem. In fact, the whole squad have been in uproar for the past few weeks, and complain mail from every division have poured in without ceasing. It has been distracting our soldiers, as well as our leaders to focus on the more severe issues at hand; titans. I believe that if this distraction is not put to a stop immediately; it may cause havoc in the future. I am writing this to you, with respect and earnestly, to urge you with great ardor that you lower your thirst for homosexual activity, bondage and sexual desires regarding our soldiers. Especially stories concerning Corporal Levi, as he requested that I should be the one to convince you to stop maligning his character. I thank you for your time on this matter, and I hope that you will take it to heart.

Sincerely,

Commander Erwin Smith

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P.S: I would also like to know what the definition of "eruri lemon". Every time I ask a squad member, they refuse to tell me.

A/N: Short, I know. Don't kill me. FINALS ARE HERE. Meh.

Okay, here are a few short requests-don't worry, I'll write a full letter response when I have time.

Jean's reaction to horse face jokes: You bastards. You're just jealous of my good looks. *falls into depression while looking in the mirror and finding out that he does kind of look like a horse*

Levi's reaction to Rivetra:…..*walks away*

Petra's reaction to Rivetra: …..*blushes*

TELL ME….WHO SHALL BE NEXT TO FACE THE HORRORS OF THE SNK FANDOM?