Disclaimer: I can only fantasize about owning Reign
AN: Hey all! Thank you so much for the reviews, follows, and favourites! It inspires confidence!
In the weeks that followed Catherine worked to distract herself from the agony of worrying over her child. She threw herself with exceptional vigor, even for her, into directing the household staff and dealing with affairs of the nation. This tactic did not escape Henry's notice and, although he was still unsure how to comfort and assure her, he made an attempt.
"Catherine, I would like to speak with you privately."
"Is it regarding the approaching visit of His Majesty James V? Your father and I have been discussing the entertainment for the banquet celebrating his arrival. I would like your opinion on the selection of music. What about a hunt? You could host-"
"Catherine!" he interjected, "I want to discuss our daughter."
"I have no news on her condition, but I did hear back from the Duke of-"
"I know you're concerned for her. I could arrange for a visit, Nostredame lives in a village not far from here."
"No!" She took a cleansing breath, "No, Henry, we can do nothing for her, except pray. She is receiving the best care money can buy. If… When Clarissa is well enough to return-"
"When she gets well you and I will go reclaim her together. I want to be a good father to Clarissa and a good husband to you."
Catherine's ladies had readied her for bed and she dismissed them. Despite the late hour, sleep would not come. She lay staring at the ceiling, pondering the fate of her little girl, when her lady slipped through the door.
"Elaine! What news of Clarissa? What did Nostredame say?"
"Milady, she… your daughter is… gone…"
"Gone." She repeated the word, not fully grasping its meaning.
"I am so sorry, milady. He said she died peacefully. Nostredame sends his condolences."
"You may go."
She did not sleep that night, nor many nights that followed. Catherine fought to calm the conflicting emotions arising as a result of the loss of her firstborn. She was devastated, that sweet little life that she carried for months, that she held against her chest, that life was gone. It was hardly the first blow that life had dealt her, but she felt it deeply, piercingly. On the other hand, she felt a small sense of relief. The child who bore the mark of her sin was gone to rest in peace. Catherine was quickly engulfed in guilt over her sense of relief. What kind of mother was she? What kind of mother could feel anything but anguish over the loss of a child? How could she live with this? But she would. She was the consummate survivor.
To MariaPurt: Thank you for your review. I took some liberties in my interpretation of Catherine's character. I feel that despite her composed exterior, she is constantly battling with guilt and fear. Although she makes the necessary tough decisions without hesitation, it doesn't sit well with her. She believes that Clarissa was God's punishment for the sin of her adultery. Seducing Henry settled the matter of her pregnancy, but the appearance of the child (even before she knew of the birthmark) may raise questions that she cannot answer. Thanks again for reading!