Letters to Johanna

by Sanctuaria

"The world used to turn when you were here. Things used to happen. Without you…everything's just stopped." A collection of letters Kate wrote to her mother, starting the day Johanna died.

11. February 12, 1999

A/N: Bit of a downer, but I think it speaks to the intense pain Kate's going through at this point.

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February 12, 1999

Dear Mom,

There are glass shards in the carpet, and every photo of you that hadn't already been hidden has been smashed. It wasn't me. And I don't want to talk about it.

College's going fine. My friends are fine. Everything is fine. The fact that I have to repeat this in my head like a mantra is fine too.

Classes are fine.

Even the ones that remind me of you.

College life is fine.

Even though I don't participate in it much.

Home is fine.

Dad is fine.

Life is fine.

I am fine.

How I wish anything in the last ten sentences was true.

This is, though: I would give anything to have you back. Including my life.

Kate