Set between the Grand Magic Games and the Sun Village arc.
Imagine you wake up
with a second chance: The blue jay
hawks his pretty wares
and the oak still stands, spreading
glorious shade. If you don't look back,
.
the future never happens.
How good to rise in sunlight,
in the prodigal smell of biscuits -
eggs and sausage on the grill.
The whole sky is yours
.
to write on, blown open
to a blank page. Come on,
shake a leg! You'll never know
who's down there, frying those eggs,
if you don't get up and see.
"Dawn Revisited" by Rita Dove
The poem rang through his mind like an alarm clock. He didn't think he would ever take those words so literal. Gray lay on the roof of his guildhall, watching the sun rise over the mountain range. His mind flashed back to when the words were first recited to him.
He could still hear the screams of his pink-haired rival as he unlocked his Second Origin. Smiling to himself, Gray walked down to the beach and found his cloaked friend sat with her back against a rock, eyes peeled on a small piece of paper.
'What'cha reading?' He asked.
'Gray.' She lifted her head and smiled sadly. 'Nothing special. Just this poem I found in the library a few years back.'
'What's it about?' Gray dropped down next to her, digging his sandals into the sand.
Ultear recited the poem and Gray hung onto every word.
'I guess I can relate to it in a way,' Ultear said. 'I've been given a second chance to make up for my sins by helping to take down Zeref and be rid of the darkness in this world.'
Gray smiled. He opened his mouth to speak but was cut short when Ultear continued.
'When I saw Acnologia destroy Tenrou Island, I thought there was no hope that you would survive. I guess we all should have really seen this coming. Fairy Tail's not a guild to give up lightly.'
Gray laughed.
'I want to meet Lyon one day. Maybe after the games, we could go and visit him?'
'I'm sure he'd like that,' Gray said.
Ultear finally met his gaze. Her eyes flared with a sudden spark that sent shivers down his spine.
'Come on. It's about time we unlock you Second Origin.'
Gray paled and Ultear chuckled, reaching for her orb.
A tear trailed down Gray's face at the memory. His mind travelled to the vision he'd seen during the dragonling battle. More tears blurred his vision. I shouldn't be here, he thought. I shouldn't be alive. Why do people keep trading their own lives for my own? What makes me worth it?
Gray was no stranger to death; he'd lost more than most people knew. With every person that was taken Gray grew closer and closer to his breaking point. How many more people would have to die before people would realise, he wasn't worth the sacrifice? Gray's thoughts were interrupted with the loud, obnoxious voices of two people he could really do without.
'Gray?' Natsu yelled.
'Gray, where are you?' Happy said.
Gray groaned, silently praying that the pair would give up their search and leave.
'Gray, are you alright?' Happy said. The Exceed had flown up to the roof and hovered over him, brow furrowing in concern.
Gray sighed and rubbed his eyes clear. When he looked up, Natsu was standing on the roof beside Happy.
'Gray,' Natsu muttered at the state of him.
'What do you want, Fire Freak?' Gray said.
'There's a job request that asks for us two. Gramps insists we go. He thinks it'll be good for us to spend time together without the girls. He's probably drunk if you ask me.'
Gray sat up and ran a hand through his hair, but remained silent.
'So, you gonna tell me what's wrong or are you just gonna lie here and cry like a little girl?'
Gray gritted his teeth and hauled himself to his feet. 'Would you for once just leave me alone?' He walks towards the edge of the roof, ready to jump back down into the guild when he felt a weight on his shoulder.
Happy curled his tail around Gray's neck as a silent comfort. 'You know Gray, usually in situations like this, the one thing you shouldn't do is be alone.'
'He's right, Gray,' Natsu said.
Gray turned to face Natsu, lip quivering. There was a moment of silence before Gray found himself doing something he'd never thought possible.
He talked to Natsu.
Told him everything. From the moment he'd met Ultear on Tenrou Island to the moment she'd given her life to save him and many more. For the most part, Natsu remained stoic, until Gray's confession ceased and he clenched his fist, slamming it into Gray's cheek.
'Why the hell didn't you tell us you died?' He said.
'Because it didn't actually happen,' Gray said, cradling his cheek in his hand.
'That's not the point, bastard. We're your friends, Gray. You're not supposed to hide stuff like this. The last time you kept secrets, you got yourself stabbed and tried to off yourself with Iced Shell.'
'What do you want me to say, Natsu? Too many people around me keep dying. My parents, Ur, Ultear. I can't take this shit anymore. Who's gonna be next?' More tears rolled down his face like tire tracks.
Happy looked to Natsu, too afraid of saying the wrong thing to speak up.
'Gray, I can't say I know what you're going through, but you gotta keep moving forward with the rest of us. And, yeah, it's gonna suck, but you owe it to the people who aren't here to keep living for them, or else their sacrifices were for nothing.'
'I'm not worth it.'
'Well, they seemed to think you are. Do you really wanna prove them wrong?'
Gray exhaled a shaky breath. He looked down at his feet and fumbled with the chain hanging from his belt. He took a moment to rub his eyes clean and steady his breathing. Then he turned back to Natsu. 'What's the job?'
Happy smiled, albeit warily. 'We have to take down a beast that's been harassing a village to the south of Fiore. It shouldn't take too long.'
Gray nodded and they jumped down from the roof. They each grabbed their bags from the guildhall and set off for the train station, remaining in silence. Gray knew he would never fully recover from Ultear's death, it would weigh down on him just as heavy as the losses that came before. But he had his friends to help carry that weight and pick him up when he would fall. A small smile crept over his face and Natsu gave him a toothy grin. Despite what the rest of the guild may think, Natsu and Gray did care for one another. They were brothers. He could always count on Natsu literally knock some sense back into him.
Little did Gray realise that in a few short days, his past would come back to haunt him yet again.
I had to study the poem in my English class and it reminded me so much of Ultear that I just had to write something down. Hope you enjoyed it!
First uploaded: 19/10/2014
Updated: 18/05/2019