March 11, 1999
Dear Mom,
Two days ago Lanie asked if I would accompany her to her sister's recital in Manhattan. At first I was hesitant but she seemed really adamant that she wanted me to go. Originally I thought it had something to do with trying to get me out in the world more or see a smile on my face, but later I got the impression it was more about her than me. I agreed to attend the event with her, but I finally confronted her about her true motives last night.
She's told me before that she had a younger sister. She's seventeen now, a junior in high school. She plays the violin beautifully according to Lanie, and she's more of a bookworm than a party girl. Lanie jokes that she loves music more than life itself.
What she didn't mention before is that Lanie and her mom don't get along. I don't know why she didn't mention it, because when she was talking about it it sounded like it dominated most of her childhood. Maybe she didn't think it fair to complain about her relationship with her mom when mine is gone? Anyway, her father left when she was young and her mother basically took care of both of them since Lanie was four. Apparently Lanie got interested in the medicinal field in high school, but felt like her mother didn't support her passion at all because she constantly suggested other possible careers and took every opportunity to list off all the less pleasant lifestyle choices that have to be made as a doctor. She claimed that she barely could scrape together enough money for four years of college, and med school on top of that was unreasonable. She is the type of person who cannot stand being on debt to anybody and forbid Lanie from taking out student loans to achieve her dream. When Lanie realized her love of forensic science as a senior, her mother was further angered by the morbid and, in her words, "unsuitable" shift in career destination that would still require all the extra schooling. After being the first person ever to score perfectly on her AP Biology final, her teacher offered her a paid internship with a friend of his in the industry, and Lanie earned enough money to put herself through her first year of college so that she could turn eighteen. Then she took out the necessary student loans and left the house for good, leaving her mother with no college tuition to pay at all. Her sister, fifteen at the time, missed her company greatly and Lanie promised they'd get together often.
The reason she wants me to be there at the recital is so that I can help her locate the seat farthest away from her mother as possible and second prevent a shouting march between then should they meet. My mere presence will do that apparently.
I won't say it doesn't bother me that Lanie's relationship with her mother is dysfunctional. I know firsthand how fragile and precious they are, but there's no way to express that without sounding overly preachy and alienating her. I remember playing the Three Wishes game as a kid, the one where you can ask for any three things except more wishes. I don't remember exactly what I used to wish for, but right now it would probably be that everyone fully appreciates everyone they have in the world, recognizing that tomorrow is not guaranteed.
I need to find myself a lamp to rub.
I'll write to you again after the recital and tell you how it went!
Love.
Kate