chapter ...7? I've lost count. :I
To say GLaDOS liked shoving unsuspecting AIs into android bodies and testing them was an understatement. She was addicted to it, and was not afraid to admit so. She had plucked two more unsuspecting cores off a management rail somewhere and they were currently testing, and as waiting for new bodies for two turrets she had picked up to finish being built. One of the turrets was defective, the other normal. This was the most fun she had experienced in a long while. But something was floating around the back of her mind, constantly gnawing at her. She'd squashed the idea as soon as it appeared, but it kept coming back. Like that virus she had tried to eliminate.
What would it be like for her to have an android-
No. Ah, the turrets were finished. She initiated a transfer, and left it to it and went back to thinking.
It would give her closer access to the facili-
No! It would take ages to-
It could be a backup if something goes wrong in the chassis-
Like that would ever happen, besides, what if something went wrong in the transfer?
It's worth the risk. After all, there is no science without risk. Do it for science.
That was it. For science. She hardly had time to register the fact that she was designing her own model before picking one. The manufacturing wing was already working. Back to the testing. She looked into the test chamber-
What?
An empty room, with a malfunctioning panel slamming against the wall. Behind the panel, GLaDOS could see a catwalk leading away.
What? Core 177 and 146 escaped? How?
Eve had no idea what had gone on in the last few hours. She and Terry were plucked off the management rail by a claw and deposited in a room. It was empty, with no way to escape as there were no core receptacles, no panels, nothing. After about half an hour, the claws came back and picked them up, taking them to another room and plugging them into something. She tried to find out what it was, but had blacked out before doing anything. Then she woke up and bam! She was an android. A quick system scan had informed her of some new programs, and she had activated the walking one to get out of the room, instructing Terry to do the same. They had gone into a test chamber, picked up some boots and a gun, and... well... hacked a panel to escape. She could still hear it clanging against the wall behind her. She and Terry were heading along a catwalk to God knows where. And she was still working out something for that virus.
"So, I guess you were right 'bout the testin' bots, Eve. Only they're us." Eve nodded slowly. She was looking down at another catwalk below, and jumped over the edge onto it. She landed with an echoing clang. There was another clang behind her as Terry jumped down.
"So, what we gonna do now we've got arms an' legs?" she shrugged.
"Dunno. GLaDOS only built these things for testing." She reached to her wrist and pulled out an extension lead.
"Huh, didn't know that was there before. That'll be useful." The lead snapped back into her wrist as she let go of it. Looking around, Eve saw Terry pulling an identical lead out and staring at it. He let go of it and went towards her. She turned and continued along the catwalk. For a while, there was nothing. Then both of them felt a shiver run through them. Eve stopped.
"What the hell was that?"
GLaDOS had made a terrible mistake. In her annoyance about the two testing androids escaping, she had turned to the virus to try and get rid of it, thinking that squashing it would calm her down a bit. She didn't expect this. Not at all. She had thrown an antivirus at it. it vanished. The whole antivirus. Gone. Deleted. And suddenly, the virus was on her. Attacking at her, every program, every line of code. She beat back at it, and had gotten it out of her core programs, but it was still attempting to get in, and was nearly succeeding. She threw a few more antivirus programs, but they met the same fate as the first one. The virus took the opportunity of the antiviruses to breach through the final line of firewalls.
NO! NONONONONONONONO! GET OUT! GO AWAY!
I'm not going anywhere, Darling~
What? Who are you? How dare you call me-
Ohh, this feels good. You know how boring it is to just be a virus? Sitting there all day, doing nothing? Let me tell you babe, it's nothing compared to this. Wow, this facility is huge! You know what? This is no work for a dainty lady, why don't you give yourself a break and let me take over, huh? Wait, what are you doi-
GLaDOS took the virus's babbling as an opportunity to force it out. Except it wasn't a virus anymore, it had invaded her core programs and turned itself into an AI.
No, this can't be happening. She faintly heard the virus shout 'but it is!' how can a small virus like that do this? It wasn't doing anything, now I can't even look at it without it attacking. It's trying to take over the facility? What virus does that? Then again, what virus calls somebody 'Darling'? Me no less! What can I do? Nothing I try works. If I stay here much longer, it'll take me over and most probably force me into an unnameable root vegetable or delete me completely. What can I do? Is there anyone good at murdering AIs-
This is the most terrible idea ever. But it seems I have no other choice.
"Spaceee! Space, gotta go to space. You know what I like about space? Space."
"Space does not exist."
"Oh shut up four-eyes. I know space exists, I've been in it! for twelve months. TWELVE. FUCKING. MONTHS. You know what's up there? Nothing! Nothing at all!"
"The Adventure sphere has not been to space. The Adventure sphere was experiencing a massive hallucination caused by an overload of plastic cups balanced on the nearest furniture." The fact core twitched.
"Space."
"Shut up about space already!" Wheatley sat in the corner, hugging his knees to his chest, listening to the three androids bicker about random matters. He'd guess he wasn't invited into the conversation from the way the two androids glared at him. Rick looked like he was about to punch him into pieces, then punch those pieces into even smaller pieces. And quite frankly, Wheatley wasn't surprised. He'd kept out of the way.
"Space, we were in space!"
"DAMMIT, WE KNOW! SPACE, YOU IN SPACE, ALL ABOUT SPACE, SHUT UP ABOUT SPACE!"
"Space core never went to s-"
"YOU SHUT UP AS WELL!" the harsh lights suddenly came on. All four androids blinked in the sudden brightness. The panel above them opened as a claw came through. They watched it slowly descend to just above their heads, and it hesitated, before suddenly swinging to grab Wheatley.
"ARRRGHHH!" he screamed and struggled against the grip, but it lifted him out of the room. The other androids watched him go. The panel closed, blocking his view of them.
"Okay Moron, this is the worst idea, I've ever had. But I need you. Right now." The claw carried him over what he thought was miles of facility, before stopping over a large dome. The claw opened, and he screamed, bracing himself for the fall. A panel opened, and he fell through and landed heavily on the floor of the central AI chamber. He gasped and looked up. GLaDOS hung over him, staring at him. Something seemed different about her though. She didn't move as smoothly as before, almost as if she was in pain.
"I've looked through you memory files, and I know what you want to do most. I have a confession to make; No, I did not kill the lunatic." Wheatley stared.
"You didn't kill the lady?"
"No, I lied; it was a rather successful attempt to crush your spirits. I know what you want to do, Moron. Find her, apologize to her and have her forgive you. Well, I'm going to let you do just that- the forgiving part, I don't know if that'll happen. But on one condition: you bring her back to this facility. I've tracked her down, and I'll send the Aperture Science Avian Killing Machines to guide you there. Get in the elevator." GLaDOS didn't give Wheatley the choice, as she picked him up and dropped him in the elevator. The doors closed before he could react.
"Wait, why are you doing this? Do I have to bring her back? This will not make her forgive me! Look, I don't know what you're doing here but- AAAAARRGH BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD BIRD!"
Three crows had flown through a gap in the elevator door. Two were sitting on the ground and one on Wheatley's head, making him freak out. He scrambled away from them. The one on his head cawed indignantly and landed by the other two. The elevator began rising before he could even think about escaping. It rose jerkily, as he stared at the crows. The crows stared back. One of them cawed. After rising for a while, the elevator stopped and the door opened. Wheatley shakily stepped out. There was a sudden bright light. Wheatley's optics contracted. The three crows flew out of the door that had opened. Wheatley followed. He stepped out into the light. All around him was a field of golden wheat, stretching as far as the eye could see.
"Huh... wheat... Wheatley... that's funny." A caw brought him to attention. The crows had landed in a line pointing in a direction. He jumped when GLaDOS's voice came out over one of the things the closest crow was wearing.
"Follow the crows, and don't even think about running away. Oh- and put this on to hide the jumpsuit." The shed he was standing in front of suddenly spat out a lab coat. He picked it up, wondering how he would fit it over the handles protruding from his shoulders. After a while, he found her could fold them over his body, out of the way, he slipped the lab coat on and buttoned it up, then went towards the crows. The nearest one cawed and flew off the way he was meant to go. He set off in a run after it, the other two following behind.
"Virus." Eve turned away from the receptacle she was plugged into. Terry nodded slowly.
"A pretty tough one, eh? If the main bot can't beat it, then whadda hell can?"
"I wish I got rid of it sooner! Who know what would happen now? This whole place is a giant block of code! If something infects it, we're dead!" she burst through a door into a room. It was dark. Eve found a plug and turned on the light. Terry gasped.
"Look, another testin' robot!" he went over to the body plugged into a machine not unlike the one that transferred Eve into her body. It was a female. One side of her hair was shorter than the other, and was silvery, but the longer side seemed to be a darker brown at the tips. She brushed a bit of the synthetic hair out of the android's optics.
Central Core Transfer Initiated
Eve leapt back.
"Did I do that?" the machine sparked. Eve turned the lights off, feeling more concealed in the darkness. Terry stepped behind her. They watched if fascinated horror as the android twitched and sparked. Oh got what is going on? Finally, it stopped. There was silence for a while, then the android opened her eyes. Eve gasped. They were a cold amber, just like-
No. No no no. Nope. Not believing this, not believing this, nope nopity nope.
She stepped back a bit as the android locked eyes with her.
"You. You're the ones who escaped from the test chamber."
Noooow everyone hates me. sorry about the androids everywhere.