Author's Note: So terribly sorry that it took so long to post this, college is hard and organic chem is EVIL!!!! Actually I failed that class, so I had to put this off and study my butt off for it. And I will be retaking it next semester too...yay...not really looking forward to it. However I have a nice post for you all and lots of fun conflict for you all. So YAY! Also, since I am so sporadic at posting I recommend you put me on your author alerts.
LovingEveryMinute: Thank you soo much for your review! Yes, Liv and I thought the rock, paper, scissors were ingenius. We all miss Mimi, but Ros and Shiri more than make up for her, I promise. I
look forward to your reviews!
And everyone PLEASE review-you all keep my sanity during school!
Chapter Three: Communication Errors
"It's all in my head though," Mark sighed trying to explain his predicament and vent his . His hands fidgeted as he picked at the moist label across his beer. He dropped his hand and fiddled uncertainly with the lens of his camera, his lips twitching a little as he tried to speak what was in his head "Well not even all of it's there," He spat, twisting the site on his camera for a sort of stress relief, "I just can't get it out; you know?"
"Do I," Shiri responded excited taking a long swig from her beer she fully understood his disappointments and was excited to be able to share. "That's my biggest problem. It's like we have all these spectacular ideas in our head and they taunt you begging to be worked on but once you find the time to actually pay some attention to them they run away and hide." Pausing then, She realized that she had started on a long tangent which made no sense, and must seem very overbearing to Mark. Shiri added shyly, "Sorry about that, lost myself there."
"No, I totally understand." Mark laughed. He added a bit over dramatically "The artist's plight" with a sarcastic sigh.
"Tell me about it," Shiri said with a playful groan, but she understood the seriousness of his frustration having a constant problem with writer's block herself. She took a long swig from her Adams wincing as her taste buds adjusted to the flavor of beer; she really didn't like beer much-but it was cheap. For a moment she leaned against the rusted truck in silence, inspecting Mark casually as she attempted to pin point his qualities. Since she had lost rock, paper, scissors which resulted in her 'winning' the geekier of the two boys, she deemed it a good idea for her to determine his attractive qualities from the beginning. His bright blue eyes captivated her. One of Shiri's biggest weaknesses was startling blue eyes. His body was only okay: Mark was very lanky and decently fit. Not an major plus but definitely not a minus. She ironically thought with a smile-at least he wasn't gigantic. Mark had a kind and generous smile, nice hair; he definitely wasn't hard on the eyes. Another plus His personality was good; at least one she held a connection with. Another small plus. "So," Shiri said conversationally after she had tallied him up; still intent to find out more "Is filming for you just a hobby or an ambition?"
"It's a deep ambition. I am trying to document life in all its forms, and explore it. Currently I concentrating on the homeless, and HIV/AIDS" Mark paused gesturing to figure out how deep to dive in. "I find it interesting. But so far, little real interest from anyone outside."
"That's hard to believe. I mean it's such an important subject that shouldn't be ignored," She sighed and placed her barely touched beer bottle on the truck railing; with a small ironic laugh she commented on her poor drinking performance. "I'm such a wimp when it comes to drinking. Ros can finish off God knows how many and I can't even do half one. I'm a light weight."
"Eh, it's not how much you can drink."Mark chuckled, and gestured at his, which wasn't much lower than hers. "It's what you do on film when you're drunk" He teased picking up the playful attitude they had been toying with all night. "Roger can knock back a few as well..I suspect they're both drinking the remainders of that six pack now."
"Yes, I noticed that they ran off with them. They think they are so sneaky," She laughed and then turned back to him as she nervously tried to bring the conversation back to them, "So...you got a script?"
"Yes and no. Some of it does...it's all crap though." Mark wavered a hand "But I've come to realize you can't script real life very easily...most of my shots are just chance and luck. Like to night as we chased Ros down the fire escape-that was luck-as well as hilarious. But I try to script you know, the intro and explanations and stuff. So far no dice. It's all complete shit." He sounded frustrated and annoyed as his inability to express the human issues he so desperately wanted to explode into the hearts and minds of America's masses. And to save his friends from.
"Maybe you just need inspiration," She then paused to think that over and the shook her head, "Why I said that I have no idea." She sighed commenting more on herself than him. " It never works for me. Well, not everything can be shit. Maybe you just don't have the right words. I... I could try to take a look some time if you ever want a second voice." Instantly, she beat herself for saying mentally something so careless and hurtful. She didn't trust anyone with her own work so why would anyone trust their work with her?
Mark thought about it for a moment frowning in thought then he shrugged. "I guess another pair of eyes couldn't hurt..."He looked at her biting his lip. "But what do you know about HIV and the homeless?" He kicked himself for saying it that way. It was so offensive. "Sorry, I didn't mean for it to come out that harshly. I mean do you have any experience with them?"
"HIV, none really, but," Shiri frowned pausing over old memories "Homeless...more than I like to admit." She looked down for a moment as if ashamed, but seconds later pushed herself up from the truck and grabbed her beer, taking a small swig before saying jokingly to cover her own pain from the past, "So, do I get a shot or do you need to probe further?"
"What can it hurt? If I can find it." Mark shrugged as he added sheepishly. "Roger and I are a bit of a mess...and our apartment definitely reflects it"
"Classic bachelor pad?" Shiri asked with a wide and flirtatious smile and a wink.
"Sadly missing the hot girls..." He responded teasingly returning the smile and rolling the beer bottle in his hands-a nervous habit. It hadn't been long enough for Mark to forget her. To be ready for another girl in his room. In his life. But tonight, he was taking a chance. If Roger could try to move on, so could he.
"Well, then I guess y'all are lucky we moved in." Shiri kidded over her shoulder as she slowly made her way towards the apartment door.
"I guess we are" He nodded in mock humility. They stood in the stairwell on the girl's landing staring up at the boy's door as if silently daring each other to make the first move.
"So, let's take a look at that film." Laughing, she moved into the door frame and turned about to him, saying with a nod towards the stairs.
"You gotta help me find it first" He opened his hand towards the door
"Fun," Shiri smiled with a mocking sigh, "Think we should check on the beer thieves on the way up?"
"Might as well make sure they haven't found more than beer." But silently Mark hoped they had-just something they wouldn't regret in the morning.
Laughter echoed from within, and Ros made a witty comment, in which Roger responded. They didn't sound drunk. They were just talking. Mark was partly amazed; he thought that Roger just might be actually attempting to flirt. Flirt. He shook his head and smiled. "Maybe he'll finally get over her." He whispered more to himself than anyone else. Too much time had passed since Roger last opened himself to a girl. He really needed to. Not that Mark really had the right to talk.
Shiri smiled as opening it slowly; she gave a gentle tap on the door. "Honey, I'm home!" Shiri announced as she peeped through to the inside of their new apartment.
Ros looked up from where she sat on the back of the couch. Her long legs stretched out so her heels hung off the edge of the seat. Her worn, yet stylish jeans, accented her long legs, and expressed their well toned shape. She wore an NYU navy blue hoodie and her wavy blond hair threatened to explode out of its loose pony tail. In her hands she toyed with her empty beer bottle, the empty six pack sat between the two. Her crystal blue eyes looked to her friend. "Well then, Lucy you can start a cookin' supper"
"Me? Cook?" Shiri laughed, "Ah, well in that case, Ramen and saltines sound good to you?"
"Just because my fathers are gay doesn't mean I can do everything!"Ros teasingly exploded; Shiri knew that Ros had two fathers and no known mother. It had been interesting when the three had met over dinner. Her parents were quite eccentric-in a good way.
"Ah, what? You don't like Ramen?" Shiri walked forward and raised her eyebrows at Roger before looking back at Ros with a knowing smile, "So, Mark and I are going to find his films and see if he's got anything good."
Ros shrugged. "Fine, all you'll get is Ramen and saltines" She stuck her tongue out at her friend. Mark looked at Roger and tried to subtly ask if he liked Ros, with facial expressions. He only succeeded in confusing his roommate.
Roger deliberately chose to ignore his roommate's questioning looks. Shiri only stuck her tongue out at Ros, before turning her back to them and facing Mark. She mouthed for them to go before passing out of the room, whispering to Mark as she went, "I think Ros is taking a liking to him."
Mark smiled, which started happy, then turned sad. "That's good. I only hope he returns it."
Shiri closed the door to their apartment after her and Mark exited; her lower lip puckering into a worried frown. "Why? Does Roger have a history of...apathy?" The girls were instinctively very protective of each other.
Mark looked like he was torn whether or not to tell her. He sighed deciding to let loose the story, it would come out eventually. "He lost his girlfriend a little over a year ago." The memory still pained him: the memory of Roger's anguished face when he had found April in the bath tub pooling with blood. The blood from her bleeding wrists. And a blood covered razor blade fallen on the floor. He knew it still haunted Roger more than his friend would ever admit. The pain must have shown on his face because Shiri recoiled a step.
"Oh," Shiri shocked and somewhat depressed at Roger's predicament, "That's terrible. Poor thing." She looked down then, inspecting her feet in that sort of awkward silence as her own memories hit in ways that she didn't like to see. She understood Roger's pain more than she could say. After a deep breath, she brought her face back up but any sign of before was gone. She changed quickly to her happy facade with a friendly smile and a deep breath changed the subject. "So, those films. Lead the way."
Mark nodded, having been lost in his own memories he missed seeing hers. With a strong hand he pushed the heavy door aside revealing their the dark cluttered bachelor pad. "Home sweet home" He opened his hands in a joking gesture.
Shiri laughed heartily and looked casually around the room. "Not bad, kinda homey," And then confused by a gasp of cold air, she looked up, "Except for the hole in your roof."
He looked up and shrugged. "Yeah well...it makes a good chimney" Clearly it was a lame excuse really meaning they didn't knew how to fix it and the super didn't really care.
Shiri laughed and then said with a smile, "You know...if you guys have the tools Ros and I could probably help you with that. We've both had a good share of experience with building and repairing."
"Oh? really. There's definitely more to you guys than appearances suggest." He arched an interested eyebrow. He was mildly surprised. "Having the right tools...I don't know what we have in this place...other than junk." He gestured to the piles of it lining the walls, any and almost everything could be found there including a bike and various guitar stuff. "We have lots of junk."
"Nah, not junk," Shiri casually picked up a discarded bottle cap off the ground intrigued by its bright color, "Everything can be useful. 'Sides, I think Ros and I have a few tools in the truck bed." She smiled and showed the bright green Fanta bottle cap to Mark, "Mind if I keep this? And where did you last see your film?"
"Sure you can have it." Mark shrugged. He thought for a minute gestured vaguely,"I believe the script was some where over by the couch...maybe one of the side tables?"
"Righty," Shiri said as she headed towards their well loved and slightly sagging couch. She shuffled around a couple blankets but didn't see it so she went to the side tables. When nothing looking like a script could be found she got down on her knees and looked under the couch between the junk and the dust bunnies, saying with a muffled voice, "Eureka!"
Mark walked over and looked over her shoulder. He sounded glad. "Hey you found it! So that's where it was hiding."
"Always check under the couch," She said with a smile, sitting on the couch as she handed him the pile of papers, "Ugh, there is a nice amount of dust on it. Must have been lost for a while."
"Yeah...we're very unorganized."He shrugged "and usually distracted by life."
"Seems to be the trait of artistic people," She said with a gentle smile before getting up slowly and stuffing the bottle cap into her pocket. She took a seat on the couch, patting the cushion beside herself for Mark to sit down before reaching for the script and saying with a smile and a childish, "Gimme."
Mark smiled and handed it over, sitting next to her, but with the appropriate amount of space for someone he didn't know well enough. Shiri smiled at Mark for only a second after her sat down before turning her attention upon the script. She was silent then, immersing herself into the writing and the way that he explained things. First thing she seemed to notice was that although his writing was factual and informative, it didn't have the poetic flow that usually snatched peoples attention. He claimed to want to start it with a collection of quick clips about the city, and some slightly cold talk over about the nature of New York life. The corner of Shiri's mouth curled up as she read, thinking to herself for a moment before she said quite bluntly, "First off, you need to ease into your introduction. Perhaps have a few moments of silence, or a few background noises of the city or something... and you need to disguise the distress in the beginning. People wont have any interest in what you've got to show them if you throw it in their faces, so ease up on the impending dread in the beginning. Maybe state the time period and the place, set the scene in a way." She paused then, turning to look at him with a half cocked smile as she groaned, "I hope you don't mind the nick picking...kinda a habit... I'm a bit of a critic."
Mark looked shocked and was taken aback. He paused with his mouth hanging open as he tried to formulate words. "Oh. Wow." He responded lamely, still mulling over her comments they seemed to work. "It makes sense." He added still confused as it slowly sunk in.
"I don't have to look at it," Shiri said, hurriedly pulling back from the small comfort zone she had created as she began to doubt her ability to make friends, "Uh... I don't mean to make you feel your work is bad or anything... I... I'm sorry, I shouldn't stick myself in places I don't belong." She uncomfortably put the paper down on the coffee table then, standing up to fidget nervously.
Mark felt instantly foolish and stupid. "No. No I didn't mean it that way. You just took me completely by surprise." His hands came up in pleading stopping motions, and his blue eyes begged forgiveness.
"It's ok... I shouldn't have pressed you. It isn't my place," She back stepped slowly towards the door, instinctively giving in to her need to run from uncomfortable situations, "I... I really should go back down. Unpacking to do and...uh... yea. Look, I'm sorry for being nosy." Shiri bolted from the room her feet slamming as they darted down the stairs.
Mark couldn't get the words out in time to stop her. He slapped his hand against his forehead repeatedly for his stupidity. "Shit. Shit Shit"
Shiri made her exit quickly, storming down the stairs quickly as she murmured to herself, "Stupid, stupid, stupid. God, I've been around Ros for too long... I almost forgot how much I don't fit in." Mentally beating herself up, she rushed into her and Ros's apartment, and froze with her hand on the door knob when she realized both Ros and Roger were staring at her in confusion. "Uh..." She groaned uncomfortably as she stared into the two pairs of blue eyes, "I...I" She moaned loudly "I made an ass of myself again."
Ros looked at her friend, less confused, but very sympathetic. She rushed over and gave her friend a big comforting hug. "It's ok."
"I'm fine," Shiri woundedly murmured into her friends shoulder, pushing her away slightly so she could retreat to her room, "Really, doesn't matter. Stupid really...I'm just being an idiot again and trying to make friends with the male sex."
"You just need more practice" Ros responded softly and gently. She didn't know what had happened in her friend's past to make her so awkward. Ros didn't really need to know either. It hurt to see her friend in pain.
"Yea... I just keep forgetting how much I shouldn't try to connect with anyone," With that Shiri finally pushed her friend away, retreating to the safety of her room and closing the barrier of the door behind her where she could bury her awkward feelings inside.
Roger stared confused at Ros and stood from his seat on the couch, saying valiantly with a concerned eye, "She ok? I'll punch Mark for her if he did anything stupid."
Ros shrugged. "I think she will be. She's always been awkward with people. I don't know why. But she has gotten a lot better over the past two years." She looked just as confused as he did, and lowered her voice so her roommate couldn't hear. "I'll figure it out tonight. but I don't think it was entirely him."
Roger frowned, "Yea, well Mark can be awkward often as well. He's a little twitchy." Roger smiled then, finishing off his beer before tucking the bottle in his leather jacket pocket. "Thanks for the beers, by the way," Roger said with a purely friendly grin.
Ros genuinely smiled back. "Not a problem. I enjoyed it" She looked into his pretty eyes and asked. "It seems everyone here has a talent, or at least is trying to find one, I paint, Shir writes, Mark does film. What's yours?"
"I...uh... attempt to make music," He shrugged and gave her that half smile of a man obviously trying desperately to repair a once broken dream, "I've been trying to write that one song, the one people will remember me for."
"Any luck?"
"Well...no, none at all."Roger laughed half heartedly with a sigh.
She shrugged. "It'll come. It took my dad awhile to get there."
"Your dad?" Roger crossed his arms and looked at her with curiosity, "What's your dad do?"
"He writes songs for a living, nothing major you know. But enough for us to live."She smiled it seemed so long since she had last talked to her dad.
"Wow," Roger was instantly hooked and seemed to perk up to attention, "Anything I might know?"
Ros thought for a moment. "One of the less popular Beach Boy songs he co-wrote with someone else. I can't think of it off the top of my head."
"Beach Boys," Roger nodded his head slowly, "They were big."
"He did some of their early stuff. It paid the bills for a while."
"Well, if it works."
Ros shrugged standing she stretched arching her long thin frame back. Several audible pops crackled through out the room. The sun had already set down casting dark shadows through out the apartment. Pulling a small lighter out of her back pocket Ros lit several candles sitting on the crappy coffee table before them. "We haven't quite figured out all the electrical work yet."
"Well, you both are better off than we are," He smiled and leaned on the arm of the couch, turning his back to the windows, "Our electricity doesn't work half the time, and we have a hole in our ceiling."
"Nice. I can fix that for you you know..."Ros smiled sweetly.
"Can you?" Roger looked surprised and then partially embarrassed to admit, "That would be...great. Mark and I are a little useless with that sort of thing."
She nodded and shrugged "We just need to get the super to pay for the repairs..."
"Oh," Roger shook his head of raggedy blond hair, "I'm afraid that'll be a little hard to do."
Ros raised an eyebrow "Oh? why?"
"Long story," Roger groaned, rubbing the back of his neck with one hand uncomfortably, "Short version is, ex-friend and roommate of ours married into wealth, bought the building, and now is acting like scum by trying to wipe out the entire tent city to put up some studio."
Ros look confused and concerned. "Wow. That's pretty fucked up"
"That's an understatement," Roger sighed then, getting up from the edge of the couch and taking a bit of a step forward. He smiled friendly to Ros and said with a sigh, "Well, thanks for the beer and everything, but I think I'm gonna head up and find out what Mark did."
"Hey, thanks to you guys for helping with the couch." She returned the smile. "I was going to cook dinner and invite you guys to join us. Neither of you look like you eat enough."She moved around the room lighting various candles and such casting a soft glow in the apartment. " But I feel that I have bigger fish to fry." Ros jerked her head towards Shiri's room, and the sounds of sobbing coming from inside.
"It's alright; I think there is half a bowl of miso soup in the fridge calling my name," Roger smiled and gave a wave to Ros, "If you two ever need help with something don't hesitate to ask."
"We won't. But the offer for left overs is always standing."
Roger smiled and nodded his thanks. "Hey," He added after opening the door to leave, "Tell Shiri sorry for me and for whatever Mark did. I'm sure he didn't mean any harm, he can just be a little lack of words around beautiful woman like you two." He gave a cocked smile then, a flirtatious twinkle in his blue eyes before he waved and left, closing the door silently behind him.
Ros just smiled and shook her head. She walked over to her friend's room and tapped softly on the door. "Shir?"
"Come in," Shiri called back, her voice not sad but very lacking in emotion at all really. When Ros opened the door she found her friend burying herself in her things, searching like crazy through the various boxes and dumping everything onto the floor. She was busying herself with unpacking; as usual trying to glaze over anything upsetting with busy work.
"Hey. You want some dinner?"
"Um," She didn't look at Ros, just continued to dig in the box, "I'm not very hungry Ros, but thank you."
Ros put a little back bone in to her concerned voice "Shiri." She stepped firmly into the room."Is everything alright?"
Shiri looked up to her friend, a glossy gaze of discontent on her face as she stated blankly, "I can't find my mother's locket." She ran a frustrated hand through her curly hair before she began digging through the boxes again. "It always comforts me," Shiri shook as she hit the bottom of the box she was in and tossed it aside to get to another, "I can't lose it, it's all I have left of her."
"Do you want help, love?" She asked her friend truly confused.
"No," Shiri shook her head but looked with a smile to her friend, "I'll be alright... go get some food Ros. I'll get some when I'm hungry."
Ros nodded. "I've got some chicken...I'll make a stew. The leftovers'll be on the stove like always." Ros always left the leftovers either on the stove or in the oven. It was Shiri's job to eat when ever and put them away. It worried Ros when her friend didn't eat and she could tell because the food would still be out. And Ros always got up before her roommate.
"Alright." Shiri completely spaced from her world diving into the depths of her junk; feverishly digging through the boxes.
Ros left the room shutting the door. Her bare feet padded into the kitchen, she smiled at the candles. She loved candles they always made her think of her fathers. How much she missed them. She thought she should call them, and let them know she was safe. But she would wait. Wait until her test results came back. She was secretly scared. She didn't know how she was doing. And the doctors wouldn't say until the blood came back. Then there was the question of telling her roommate. Shiri deserved to know. But what would happen? Would Shiri leave her? Would she die alone? Troubled, Ros started cooking, it always soothed her worried mind. Chopping the left over veggies-and meat. She made an excellent stew. Her dad had taught her. Though he wrote songs it wasn't always steady work so he picked up odd jobs: janitor, mechanic, school cook. Anything and everything. Yes she needed to call them.
Mark sat there on the couch staring at his work. Staring at his camera. Thinking. Christmas was soon. Maureen. she had left him. He sighed. Life sucked. He was never good with women. Why did he open his fucking mouth?Why did he bother? Roger entered carefully, looking at his friend as he slid the door shut behind him. He tucked his hands into his worn blue jeans and walked a little closer, saying with a soft shrug, "Soooo...what happened?"
"I spoke"Mark answered in a sad and pathetic tone.
"Ah, what did I tell you about doing that?" Roger joked as he plopped down beside his friend and gave him a soft punch to the shoulder. He smiled and then added kindly, "Don't beat yourself up about it man. I kinda got the vibe that Shiri has a few screws loose in the old noggin."
Mark gave his friend a confused look. "What?"
Roger shrugged, "She didn't seem all right when she came back down, like more than just upset. There was a deeper something going on in her eyes, and when she went into her room I could hear her mumbling rapidly and sounded like she was throwing stuff around. Maybe...maybe she is bipolar or something."
"Weird." He looked even more confused. "I dunno." He thought for a moment as his stomach let out a wild growl. "I'm starving apparently."
"Well, we have a dinner invite from Ros for a few nights from now."Roger agreed with a smile.
"Oh?" Mark looked interested. "She has food?"
"Apparently she cooks," Roger smiled, getting up from the couch, "You wanna take the invite?"
Mark looked at his friend with a deeper question in his eyes. "Do you?"
Roger smiled and looked at his friend with a 'duh' expression on his face before he smirked, "It's food. Need I say more?"