Chapter six.

22nd June, 2005.

It's funny, when you think about it. A part of me somewhat didn't believe that on the inside, I'm a girl too, that part of me couldn't explain the height loss, or the boobs, nor the vagina and sudden voice change. But that part of me was wrong.

It's scary to think that today I woke up in a pool of my own blood and tissue. It's also to think that that part of me was wrong. It was fruitless to even believe that that maybe this was all some cruel practical joke.

When I realised I was still bleeding, I cried. I cried and cried that my mother came in to wonder what I was making all this fuss about. She set off instantly, cleaning me up and going through what I would need to do. She changed my bedding and slipped me paracetamol. "This is probably why you've been having bellyaches" she mentioned as she let me take the day off and dream under clean covers.

I texted Bebe, who congratulated me on my coming of womanhood. I then texted Stan to tell him I wouldn't be in today, not wanting to press the issue. I merely comforted him, saying that I was ill and I wouldn't be attending. I didn't want him questioning further; this, however resulted in a very antsy Stan at 7 O'clock in the morning.

Part five.

"Ky, Ky" I heard Stan's voice as he pounded up my stairs, he sounded very worried and very out of breath, ripping open the door and striding hurriedly towards me, instantly dumping dumping different brands of medication onto my bed. He fished around, scouting for a thermometer.

"Oh my G- Stan! Stop! seriously, dude — I'm fine, I swear. I'm not ill, Stan." Stan gets a little sensitive about my health, he knows I was a sickly child, and I think he thinks that with the sudden change within me, my body will react and reject the new parts within me. He's scared.

But it's okay to be scared. We all get scared.

However, this is a bit of an overreaction.

"I'm fine" I reassure again, waving my arms around to prove that I am the picture of health. I don't think he believes me though, as his eyes are still searching for a thermometer. I think he finds it because he cannot now take his eyes of a particular part of my bedding.

I sigh, spotting it and reaching out for it. Gently, I place it on my forehead and it seems to settle Stan greatly. "So, why are you taking the day off?" He asks vaguely, looking concerned.

"Uh, girl things?" I return weakly, because I cannot flat out tell Stan that it is in fact that thing.

"Is it those sort of girly things?" He asks, looking both uncertain and cautious as he eyes my hidden lower half. I nod, confirming that it is indeed those sort of girly things.

Somehow, Stan convinces my Ma that taking the day off with me will be very beneficial and rewarding. If Stan stays off to look after me, Ma can go to work and I'm still being looked after. He states he understands because if Shelly and his mother, also he is more than willing to help a friend out.

All he has to do is pout a little, and flash his big blue eyes at Ma and she's a sucker for him. I wish it was that simple for me too.

So, Ma leaves and Stan and I are left to our own devices, we decide to have a movie day, so Stan leaves with the intention of buying diabetic ice cream and popcorn, and I set off getting dressed and bringing a few pillows and blankets down from my room.

I'm already looking through my DVD stand, when Stan comes in, holding more than should have. He just smiles and I go with the flow, asking him if there's is particular film he wants to watch.

"Think fast." Is all he says before throwing a DVD at me. Kiss Kiss Bang Bang stares back up at me. I'm a sucker for action films and Stan knows it.

"I was thinking after we could watch Borne Supremacy" Stan says, pouring two glasses of diet coke and reentering the lounge with food shoved between his arms and balanced on top of his glass.

The film story line is about a murder that brings a private eye, a criminal masquerading as an actor, and a struggling actress together. It's has a comedy action ring to it, but it's thoroughly good.

Once the credits begin rolling, I excuse myself and when I return I find Stan fishing around trying to find The Borne Supremacy. "You know what I was just thinking about, that trip in the holidays — Ma said it'll be nice, but we haven't planned much. Like who's the forth camper, because it sure as he'll isn't going to be Cartman"

"Why not that Kip kid, you know; the one that fantasies about you. I'm pretty sure he took a picture of you the other day at school."

"Oh God, dude that's gross, he scares me."

Stan laughs, "I know, I remember you getting Ken to give you his jumper so he wouldn't notice you" I smile, remembering the memory myself.

Suddenly, we're talking about the past and we're talking about past relationships, I try to avoid mentioning about Rebecca, instead I try to focus my conversation around Juliet. In my last year of elementary she caught my eye. It wasn't like she was gorgeous or she was developed or anything. I mean she had greasy hair and flat face. But she was elegant and graceful. She was smart and funny and I remember in the summer she would pick up snails from the path and place them on the green so no one would squish them.

I suppose, to me personality makes someone good looking or not — funny as it sounds. I used to think Juliet was gorgeous, with her dark flat hair and big brown eyes. She was taller than me, but that's understandable, she was hitting puberty and I wasn't even trying to punch it.

"Dude, do you remember Dan?" I mention suddenly, because now I remember the only person I felt the same way about like I did with Juliet.

"Yeah, he moved to Orlando, didn't he?"

"Yeah," I murmur. "We kissed, you know. I mean it was never anything official but we fooled around" I almost smile at the memories of Daniel. We were about fifteen and he has moved from Missouri. We instantly clicked and suddenly I was finding it hard to be without him. It wasn't like he was particularly nice and snail-friendly like Juliet was. He was just as smart and witty though. He was just kind of there and I led myself to believe that he was perfect.

I still kind of believe it.

"Fooled around? Like...?" Stan asks in a playful voice, poking my side in the process. He's got this cheeky smile on his face and I have to smile back.

"Dude," I breath at Stan's cheeky tone. "If you really want to know, we was at his house and I was sitting in the floor between his legs and he was playing with my hair and yeah. I gave the dude head."

"Aw, cuties. And here I was thinking you were the prude of the group." I mean Dan and I never full on made out, well we once did. But it was slow and steady and sweet.

We had spent the night out at Stark's pond, he had managed to sneak a bottle of red out. We never got round to drinking it though, instead we went ice skating in the dark and had a snowball fight and he dived on top of me, trying to shove snow down my back and I managed to turn the tables, sitting on top of him triumphantly. However, he still had my hands and he pulled me down.

That wasn't the first time we had kissed, in fact it was one of our last. It's silly, Stu. How much you remember someone who was only in your life for a couple of months. His dad had one of those jobs, the one where you have to travel a lot.

I never believed I was gay, even when we were kinda together. I mean he was no Juliet with hobbit feet and a permanent wet patch under her nose from how much she would constantly lick her lips. They had the same brown eyes though, soft and forgiving. Same browny black hair as well. I have a thing for brunettes. Maybe.

I never kissed anyone after he left, I mean, I felt distraught. The day he was leaving he asked me to see him off, but I didn't go. I couldn't face watching him leave. So, he came to me. Kissed me over my face; my nose, my cheeks, my forehead, my lips. He whispered 'I love you' and then disappeared. I never contacted him again, I don't miss him as much as I did. It was a fling. Something to smile about and tell your children.

I mean, if he saw me now, he would call me a liar and leave. I think he was gay, I don't think I was. I'm happy he exists, and I'm happy he existed in my timeline too. But flings are born to die.

"Stan, are you going to put on The Borne Supremacy, or am I?"

And I'm content with that. I have a new life to lead.

I am so sorry about my absence, it is entirely my fault. I didn't know what to write, and when I did my laptop broke, so when I fixed it the internet decided to fuck off and now my laptop is literally dog poo.

Anyway, you'll understand the whole Dan thing later, and don't worry — Kyla is still main prude.

Hope you're enjoying it.