Gay or European

This weeks G8 meeting was being held by America, much to everyone's dismay. For the other nations this meant an hour of nonsense followed by thirty minutes of superhero gibberish which was finally finished off with a Happy Meal for each country. So let's just say that no one was looking forward to what followed when they entered the meeting room.

"Let's just please get this over with." England grumbled as he sat down on the place with the nameplate 'Iggy'. Though the Brit in question had long since stopped arguing about the nickname, but that did not mean he actually liked it.
"Ja." Germany agreed. "The quicker we start this meeting the quicker we can finish. I don't like leaving bruder home alone, who knows what he'll do."
"Okay dudes!" America shouted as he entered (ran) into the room. "Let's get this party started!"
"Ohhhhh." Italy exclaimed, jumping up and down in his seat. "Are we having a fiesta?"
"Nein, sit down Italy this is a meeting. Can you please get on with it America?"

"Sure thing bro. But just before we do I have this awesome video to show you." America snapped his fingers and a laptop magically lowered down from the ceiling. Though England swore he could see strings.
"I found this video the other day and it really reminded me of you dudes."
"Alright then." Germany sighed. "Put the video on and we'll start the meeting afterwards."
America did as he was told and in a show of lights and lasers a flat screen tv dropped down from the ceiling, playing a tune that none of the other nations recognised.

"There! Right! There!
Look at that tan, well-tended skin
Look at the killer shape he's in
Look at his slightly stubbly chin"

Some of the nations puffed out their chests in pride, particularly France and, for some reason England. This is what America thought of them?

"Oh please he's gay,
Totally gay!"

"WHAT?!"

"I'm not about to celebrate.
Every trait could indicate
A totally straight expatriate.
This guy's not gay, I say not gay.

That is the elephant in the room.
Well is it relevant to assume
That a man who wears perfume
Is automatically radically fey?"

"Why does this remind you of us?!" England shouted.
"Just keep listening dude." America replied, waving the Brit off.

"But look at his coiffed and crispy locks.
Look at his silk, translucent socks.
There's the eternal paradox.
Look what we're seeing.

What are we seeing?
Is he gay?
Of course he's gay -
Or European?

Ohhhhhh . . .
Gay or European?
It's hard to guarantee
Is he gay or European?"

"This is too offensive to funny." France huffed.
"I don't know." Japan spoke up. "It is quite amusing."
"To you maybe." Romano shouted.

"Gay or foreign fella?
The answer could take weeks.
They will say things like 'Ciao bella'
While they kiss you on both cheeks."

"That's an official greeting!" Romano cried, shaking his head in frustration.

"Oh please.
Gay or European?
So many shades of gray!
Depending on the time of day, the French go either way."

France huffed again, a pout ever present on his face during the song.

"Is he gay or European?
Gay or European?
Gay or Euro-

Wait a minute!
Give me a chance to crack this guy.
I have an idea I'd like to try.

The floor is yours.

So Mr. Argitacos...

This alleged affair with Ms. Windam has been going on for...?

Two years."

"Is that an Italian accent?" Germany asked.
"Shut the hell up you potato jerk!" Romano shouted, almost punching the German before his twin stopped him.

"And your first name again is...?

Nikos.

And your boyfriend's name is...?

Carlos.
I-I sorry! I misunderstand! You say boyfriend,
I thought you say best friend! Carlos is my best friend.

You b*stard!
You lying b*stard!
That's it! I no cover for you, no more!
Peoples!
I have, a big announcement!
This man is gay AND European!"

"Woah, massive plot twist." England mumbled slightly annoyed and amused by the video.

"He's gay!
And European!
He's gay!
And European and gay!
Fine okay I'm gay!

Hooray!"

"Is it finished?" France asked, lifting his head up from where he had faced palmed half way through the video.
"Yep, what do you bros think?" America asked the nations.
Without looking at each other,all the European nations stood up and walked out the meeting room.
America turned to Canada and Japan, the only people left in the room. "I think they liked it."

This wasn't requested but I came up with the idea this morning so here you go. Please leave a review if you enjoyed this and if you have song for me to do also leave it in a review and I promise I'll get round to it (eventually).