Chapter 5: Swords & Magic
Disclaimer: I own nothing except my OC Nikki
We were all gathered in the dojo stretching and getting ready to start sparring. I walked over to Jack "Hey, Jack can I talk to you" I asked hopeful.
"Yeah" Jack smiled as we walked off to the side a little. "What's wrong?"
"Um, I uh, just um, I just wanted to talk about th-the k…" I started to say but, Jerry came running in.
"Guys! Huge problem!" Jerry shouted. Really, perfect timing Jer. Jack turned and walked over to Jerry forgetting about me.
"Kiss" I muttered annoyed. Really am I not that important, did that kiss mean nothing to you! I shouted in my head.
"Kelsey Vargas, the coolest girl in school is on her way down here." Jerry continued to explain
"Don't panic we've trained for this. Guys, bust out the emergency deodorant" and they all ran over to their bags and got theirs.
I slowly walked back over to Jerry, "I don't need deodorant" Jerry denied.
"Yeah, you do" I told him taking a step back scrunching my nose, "You smell rank"
"We all need deodorant" Milton called over to him "we're teenage boys our bodies are a smorgasbord of smells"
"I don't take any chances. I'm wearing a necklace of air fresheners right now" Eddie said as he pulled out a necklace that had over 20 air fresheners and smelled them. "This week I'm Alpine Meadow"
Jerry shook his head at Eddie before he turned back to the rest of us "I told Kelsey I was a Martial Arts expert and the youngest sensei in history.
"Jerry" Rudy got his attention as he handed him a red Sparring helmet.
"Oh, Rudy, Kelsey's on her way. Dude please hook me up with that black belt" Jerry pleaded.
"Don't do it, Rudy. Jerry needs to learn not to lie to girls about being a Martial Arts expert, how many times have you used that one now? 7?" I crossed my arms and raised an eyebrow questiongly.
"No!" Jerry denied "5. Please Rudy" Jerry went back to begging Rudy.
Rudy placed a hand over his belt protectively "You can't have this belt. It's symbol of hard work, honor, and respect"
Jack walked over to us "Well, then why do you use it to walk your dog?"
Rudy spun around "That was one time and it was an emergency" Rudy defended. "I had a pug with the squirts and a new white carpet" I scrunched my nose in disgust. "Look, can we stop talking and get to sparring, please?" We all nodded as Rudy paired us up. "Jerry, you're up against Kim. Milton, you're with Nikki. Eddie, you're with Jack"
"Jack" Eddie yelped as he looked over at him. Jack did a series of Karate moves that made Eddie look like he was about to pee his pants. "Uh, hold on, my phones vibrating" Eddie reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet. "You know I hate to be that guy" He raised his wallet to his ear "Hello?"
"You mean the guy that pretends his wallet is his phone" Jack asked. I laughed quietly as I dodged a kick from Milton.
"Please, shh" Eddie shushed him as he walked away. "Can you hear me now?" He asked the imaginary person on the other side of his fake phone.
"Come on guys, let's go" Rudy clapped at us.
I dodged another kick and returned it with a kick of my own that he dodged as Kelsey walked in "Hi Jerry"
Jerry spun around "Kelsey, what a surprise" Jerry said as everyone stopped to watch them.
"So these are your student that fear and respect you?" Kelsey questioned crossing her arms.
Jerry nodded as Kim leaned over, her hands on her hips "Yes, we are. I'm about to fear and respect the living grits right now"
Jerry spun back towards Kim Fear on his face "oh, no. Not my grits. I'm gonna need my grits." She smirked at him as she grabbed his hand and flipped.
I laughed as Jerry stood up "Yeah, I'd say you've got that move down pretty well. Oh, you guys take a five. Kelsey and I are gonna get a froyo" Jerry walked over and flung his arm around Rudy's shoulder and started to walk out.
I was laughing so hard I didn't notice Jack walk over to me, "Hey, Nikki earlier what were you saying"
I instantly stopped laughing "Oh, yeah that. Um, that was, was nothing, it doesn't matter now" I stuttered out.
"Are you sure" Jack asked
"Yeah, we'll talk later" I gave him a tight lipped smile.
The next day at school I was sitting with Jack and Kim when Jerry came charging down the stairs.
"Hey" He called and we all looked up at him "Thanks a lot, Kim. You cost me a date with the coolest date in school."
"What are you gonna do sensei" Kim said sarcastically, "Throw me out of the dojo?"
"Kim, in the future, let's respect Jerry enough, not to embarrass him in front of girls he's lying to" Jack said
"Thank you, Jack. It's called decency Kim" Jerry pouted.
"Or you could not lie to girls" I offered but, he ignored me.
Suddenly Milton came down the halls playing a kazoo in a costume "All hail Miltonius, the newly crowned king of Narnia!" He called out.
"See Milton" Jack got up and started to walk over to Milton "this is why you had to go to the spring formal with the biolab skeleton"
"I'll have you know that Bonita is an excellent dancer" Milton defended
"I don't know you" I shook my head and took a step back
"I know what's going on" I turned to look at Eddie as he continued talking. "It's that time of year when all the dorks come out to play swords and magic in the park"
"or if it rains, we use the bingo hall at the senior center" Milton added as I slowly turned around. "We tear it up"
"HI, Jerry." Kelsey called to Jerry as she walked by.
"Hey, Kelsey I was just talking to this kid I've never seen before. I don't even know his name. Right, Milton? Really, Jerry?"
"Smooth Jer" I laughed as he walked over and sat next to Kim.
"Guys, big news; this year you all are going to participate in the battle with me" Milton told us. Yeah, no.
"What happened to all your other friends?" Kim asked "You know the ones that throw up when I try to talk to them?"
"Well, this year things are a little complicated. Francias has a bassoon recital, Jeffrey is a finalist in the mathlympics, and Louis got grounded for teaching his cockatiel bad words"
"I'm not doing that" I told him as I stood up.
"Dude, we're not gonna be a part of your nerd fest"
"Very funny Jerry. Nerd fest is in Minneapolis in October" seriously, nerd fest, that's a real thing.
"See Milton" Jack stood up "A bunch of dudes in tights, running around the woods beating each other senseless with foam swords—it's just not our thing"
"Well, it's my thing and I want to share this moment with my best friends. That's you guys" Touching moment, really, but it's still a no from me.
"I don't know" Eddie stood up and walked around to the other side of Milton "I just quit the Cello and threw out my panda bear pack back. I'm just starting to get cool"
"Come one, just give it a chance. Soon you'll know the exhilaration of bounding down a hill…" I ran off with the others as Milton continued his speech. Um yeah, no, no tights, no foam swords, and no costumes.
I walked out of the Dojo with Jack, Kim and Eddie and bumped into Jerry "oh, guys check it out. I smoothed everything out with Kelsey. I promised her I would never lie to her again, and I got a date with her this afternoon."
"Yeah" Jack and Eddie said at the same time.
"The kid id back in the game. Whoo!" Jerry shouted.
"Nerd alert" Eddie said pointing to two boys who were walking up behind Jerry.
"Greetings" Sydney said, "We are the dark knights, warriors known for being brave and ferocious and"
"Ferocious?" Kim cut him off. "Sydney you cried in science when your fruit fly died"
"That fruit fly left behind 3,000 babies" Sydney defended. "Milton said he out together a band of loyal warriors that will finally capture out grail and defeat , like that's going to happen. Ha ha ha haaaa haaa haa."
"Dude. Dude, dude" Sydney stopped, "That evil laugh is so not working"
Sydney turned to Benny "thanks Benny. You told me it was intimidating" Benny just shrugged. "Come on" Sydney said as he pushed passed them and led them away.
"Whoa. Guys Milton called us his loyal warriors. No he's going to be out there all alone against a flock of dweebs hopped up on honey buns"
"Uh, Jack, are you saying we should go to the park and help him?" Kim questioned. "Because, uh, I can't, uh my Aunt Charlotte—Yeah, she's coming in from uh, Charlotte. And we're going to go watch 'Charlotte's Web.'" Really Kim that's the best you could come up with, "Wow, I am not good at lying"
"Look, Milton always been there for us. Jerry what about the time where you tried to get Kelsey jealous by making her think you were dating a cheerleader? Who helped you out?"
Jerry thought for a second "Wow, you're right. He was there for me. Did you know that Brian Donnelly actually asked him out?"
"Eddie, what about you. You hate going to go visit your nana." Jack continued.
"That's because she always wants to do things to my hair" Eddie said scratching his head.
"Who always goes with you?"
Eddie thought for a second "Sometimes I think nana loves him more than me. And I'm okay with that"
"Kim, what about that time at the Saint Patrick's Day concert when you lost your voice? Who got you through that?"
Kim thought for a second.
"Yeah, but he's never done anything for me" I reminded them
"Yeah, but that's because you can handle yourself. And you're going to do this with us because I'm asking" Jack said sitting down on the table.
Damn you Jack, I hate when he's right "Fine I'll do it"
I trudged out of the dojo wearing a dress that, matched Kim's except mine was pink and black and I had a fake tiara instead of the cone thing Kim was wearing. "I. Hate. All. Of. You" I got out through clenched teeth.
"Come on, let's go to the park" Jerry said grumpily.
"I don't get it why do I have to be the princess" Kim asked irritated.
"I am right there with you Kim" I told her as we headed for the park.
So now here we are walking through the woods and I'm going to murder Milton when I see him.
"I can't take it anymore" Eddie stopped "It's hot, my feet are killing me, and these elf ears are starting to get sweaty" Eddie took off one of his ears and started ringing it out
"You don't get to complain, we could of stayed on the path to the battle field but no, you knew a shortcut through the woods" Jack grabbed the ear from Eddie and yelled into it "This is not a shortcut Eddie" and gave it back to him.
"Relax. I'm an explorer scout. I was trained to navigate by the stars"
"Explorer scout my…"I screamed before Jack once again put one arm around my waist and one hand to cover my mouth and pulled me back.
"Come on guys, we have to focus. Gnomes battles start in…" Jack looked at his watch "A half-hour."
Jerry nodded than froze "Hey, it's a ground hog"
"Uh, Jerry" I tried but he just ignored me.
"Hey. Well, you're a cute little fella" Jerry knelt down next to it "Aren't you? How you doing? How you doing?"
The thing hissed "That's not a ground hog Jerry" Jack told him "that's a porcupine. I wouldn't get to close to it either"
Jerry stood up "Uh, thank you, Jack, but I think I know the difference between a ground hog and a porcupine, okay?" Jerry knelt back down "Hey, are you looking for your mommy or something, cutie?"
I jumped back an inch when the porcupine shot quills all over Jerry's face. Jerry stood up and faced us "This dumb ground hog thinks it's a porcupine. Now if you'll excuse me I have to go over there." Jerry walked off to the side and screamed.
We kept walking and Jack stopped to look at Jerry "You have a little something" He gesture to the quill that was still in his cheek. I reached over and pulled it out and caused Jerry to let out another scream.
Kim caught up to us "Where were you?" I asked her.
"Let's just say I had to do something I have never done before and hop I never have to do it again" Kim said with a shutter.
"I felt that way when I had to take my cat's temperature, they fight oh, they fight it"
"You know what? I just realized I have a G.P.S. on my phone" Jack pulled out his phone "I'll get us out of these woods"
"You just remembered" I glared at Jack
"no, no, no I said I'll get us out and I will" Eddie took Jack's phone, "explorer scouts do not rely on G. P. S."
"Eddie, screw your Explorer scout" I yelled as I tried to grab the phone back, Eddie tugged back and it flew into a log.
"Now you happy? My phone just flew into that log" Jack asked Eddie irritated.
"Relax. I'll get it" Eddie walked over and reached into the log "Hey, I got it. I think you got a call it's starting to buzz" Eddie said. He pulled his hand out to show a beehive on his hand.
"My phones not buzzing, that's a beehive" Jack said.
"And I'm gone" I said before I ran back into the woods. After a few seconds I walked back out with Jerry and Kim to see Eddie stand up covered in something.
"I think I lost them" Eddie smiled.
"I do I want to know what that is" I asked Eddie scrunching my nose.
"I had a little mud situation" Eddie explained.
Jack groaned as he stood up, "Are you okay" I asked him as I held his arm to help him balance.
"Wow, I hit my head hard. Is there a bump?" He asked.
"Holy sh- um, you can hardly see it" I said with a small smile
"Dude, your forehead is jacked up" Jerry said with a disgusted look on his face. Jack reached up and touched his bump.
Jack, Jerry, and I finally reached the battle field and somehow I was the only one who wasn't jacked up, well me and Kim.
"I think we finally lost the bees" Jack said trying to catch his breath.
"Uh, where's Kim and Eddie" I asked looking around.
"OH, Kim got her head stuck in a thorn bush, Eddie's trying to get her out" Jerry explained just as Eddie came out off the woods.
"It took a while but I finally got Kim's head out of that bush. Luckily I had my official explorer scout pocket knife"
Kim came walking out with her hair sticking out in all different directions, yeah I spoke to soon "Guys the battlefield's right over there, come on"
Kim ran off, I turned to Eddie "You know she's going to kill you when she sees her hair" I then ran off to follow Kim.
We ran out on to the field to see Sydney standing over Milton with his foam sword pointed at his chest. Jack took Jerry's axe and threw it at Sydney hitting his sword out of his hand.
"Owe, who through that" Sydney asked as we all ran over shouting a battle cry. Everyone retreated as we reached where Milton and Rudy were standing "You guys made it"
"This may not be our thing, but if it means something to you, then we're with you king Miltonius"
"Thank you" Milton pointed at Kim "who's the dud with the punked out Mullet"
Kim looked behind her than back at Milton with a confused face.
"All right guys hands in" Jack said sticking his hand out in the middle. We all copied "We've got us a grail to catch" we broke and screamed "Wasabi!"
I ran down the dirt path and was cut off by two guys running at me from two different directions. I looked down at the foam sword "Screw this" I threw the sword behind me and did a back flip just as they reached me. Instead of hitting me they both hit one another. They dropped to the ground pretending to be dead. I picked up the sword and walked over to see Jack fall into a bush. "You okay" I asked laughing as I pulled him up.
Jack looked over my shoulder and ran off, I turned to see him jump up and grab the swing set bars flinging himself onto the tetor totter. The grail flew up into the air and to our side. Milton ran over there and caught it just in time, falling to the ground.
He stood up and set it next to our grail and shouted "Victory!" We all ran over to Milton shouting and jumping.
"Way to go Milton, you did it" Jack congratulated him.
"No, Jack we did it"
"Here you go Milton" Kim picked up the grail and handed it to him, "You've earned your gr…" Kim started but stopped and screamed after she saw her reflection. "What happened to my hair" She shouted at Eddie "Eddie, you are so dead!" She handed Milton the grail and ran off.
"How come you never stop Kim when she does stuff like this" I asked Jack.
"Because although Kim will hurt him she won't literally kill him" Jack explained.
"I wouldn't literally kill him" I defended. Jack gave me a 'really' look "Okay, maybe I would but—never mind" I crossed my arms and watch Kim beat Eddie up.
The next day we all wore our costumes to school and everyone laughed at us. Remind me why I agreed to do this again.
Review!
Review!
Review!