The Death Star's Progress.

"Are you sure we ordered this?" Heihachi leaned forward holding up the schematics for some advanced beam weapon.

"I don't remember ordering it, what about you, Spawn?" Nightmare replied as he leaned forward, taking hold of a corner.

"I didn't do it." Spawn replied as he hunched over the two. They all looked up at the massive crate and back at the schematics.

"Yarrr. What ye be lookin' at, maties?" Cervantes stepped out from a door as smoke rose from the ground, shrouding him for a moment.

"Cervantes! Mah brotha'. How ya bin', nigga'?" Nightmare began flashing gang signs before being smashed in the back of the head by Spawn.

"Sorry." Nightmare fixed his helmet.

"Thought I'd drop in and see how the ship's construction was coming along." Cervantes looked up at the massive crate. "What the hell is that?"

"We're not sure what it is. See, we ordered this beam but they sent us this." Heihachi pointed to the crate with a Federation Starship painted on the side.

Cervantes took the order form and eyed Heihachi, "Aren't you loaded? What's with this generic beam shit?"

"It's much more affordable!" Heihachi crossed his arms, still in his mowashi belt.

"You're a cheap ass... is that why you wear that dia-" Spawn started

"MOWASHI BELT!" Heihachi's eyes suddenly got wide; he grimaced, and walked away in an awkward manner.

"What just happened?" Cervantes looked questioningly at Heihachi as he stepped through a door.

"I don't know... but I use to make that face before taking a dump when I was a kid." Spawn snickered.

"Listen, guys. Someone ordered this beam weaponry and it wasn't us. Don't you think that's suspicious?" Nightmare began examining the crate.

"Who cares, matey? This technology is much more advanced."

"Of course it is. That moron George Lucas could never come up with effective, non-boxy weaponry." Captain Picard nodded.

"It... is time... for us... to do battle... Mister... Pi...card!" replied Captain Kirk.

"Who the hell are they?" Spawn pointed as the two began looking the opposite direction of each other, trying to slap each other's faces.

"Nevermind that." Nightmare pulled up a switch as Cervantes and Spawn took hold of some secure poles. The bay doors opened and the two captains were sucked into space where their heads eventually exploded. Nightmare then shut the door and the resumed their conversation.

"Well, whoever got it must know something about the technology." Spawn nodded.

"Or, it could be a trap..." Heihachi returned wearing a bow tie and a black thong.

"... Oh God... Oh Jesus, no..." Nightmare began to crumple into the fetal position.

"Old man, go put on some clothes!" Spawn covered his eyes and shoed the old man.

"Come over to my ship, mate. I've got some old man clothes for ye to wear." Cervantes and Heihachi began sauntering off to the hangers.

"If he comes back wearing a frilly pirate shirt..."

"Relax, Spawn. Anything's better than... that." Puke began dripping from the confines of Nightmare's armor.

"Ah, sick man!" Spawn took a step back.

"If you had a mouth you'd be doing the same thing."

"... Yeah."

Heihachi and Cervantes soon returned, Heihachi now dressed as Captain Jack Sparrow, make up and all.

"You look like a girl."

"Nah, he looks more like a fag."

"Shut up, you two!"

"Yarrrrr."

"Hey dad, someone's here to- why are you dressed like that?" Kazuya stared at the old man, wondering why he looked so visually appealing.

"Brittany... I'd appreciate it if you didn't look at me like that."

"Shut up. And my name's not Brittany, you old fart."

"Might want to change that shirt then, Holmes." Spawn pointed at the breast line which read I am Brittany.

"My other shirts are being washed!" Kazuya looked down and squished the floor, acting shyly.

"Don't you normally go shirtless anyway?"

"Shut up, old man! Wait a minute, you actually noticed?"

Kazuya heaved heavily for five minutes before he finally calmed down. Heihachi glared at Kazuya.

"It's okay, dude... I understand. Your dad probably doesn't get it, but I do." Spawn nodded.

"I hate you..." Heihachi scowled at his son.

"You're an asshole..." Kazuya scowled back.

"Seriously, dude... who throws people into volcanoes?"

"Some crazy African tribes."

"That's a lie!"

"You die now!" Heihachi lifted Spawn over his head, "Wait... there's no volcanoes in space."

"Haha! Sucka'!"

"Hey... is someone going to tell me why we have this laser or not?" Nightmare had begun tapping his foot impatiently.

"Oh, right... There's some guy to see you, old man."

"I am not an old man!" Heihachi dropped Spawn, looking back at his son with tear-filled eyes. Nightmare gave him a "WTF" look.

"Right... anyway, the guy says he's the one who ordered your laser."

"Send him in, foolish daughter!"

"I'm your son!"

"Whatever. And get out of that skirt."

"It's a kilt!"

"Nice try, but that only works for my diaper fetish!"

"I knew it was a diaper!" Nightmare gagged.

"No, no, my friend. It is a mowashi belt."

"Thank you, Zorro." Heihachi nodded as Zorro rode off.

"Yarrr... send him in, you scallywag!"

"Right, right. Come on in, man!" Kazuya pressed a button.

A door slid open, massive puffs of smoke fumed from out of the door. A man-shaped figure could be seen, though it appeared

eyes were long and square, and his head had unusual prongs coming from his head.

"It's been a long time... cousin." Heihachi smirked slightly at the figure who began stepping forward.

"Too long, Heihachi... too long." The smoke began to clear and the man could be seen in full.

Who is the mysterious cousin of Heihachi?! Are these chapters actually getting shorter? Is this just another filler? Stfu, no it's not! This is serious.