Charlie saw her mom walk toward her. She started to turn and walk in the opposite direction. Rachel just quickened her pace.
"Charlie, I was hoping we could talk." Rachel said hesitantly.
Charlie stopped, rolled her shoulders and looked up at the sky. "Mom I'm really not in the mood to hear another lecture. Grandpa's been covering that one just fine."
"No that's not what I want to talk about right now. Oh we'll talk about the other thing later, but not right now, not today." Rachel paused and put her hand on Charlie's shoulder. "I know what today is Charlie, I didn't forget, I would never forget."
Charlie sighed and looked down at the ground, her shoulder's slumping. "It's Danny's birthday." She whispered.
"Yeah." Rachel sighed as she pulled Charlie into a hug.
They stayed like that for a few moments, hugging in silence. "I miss him so much Mom, every day." Charlie mumbled into her shoulder.
"I know baby, me too." Even though her heart was heavy, Rachel relished this moment with Charlie. It wasn't that they connected, or even showed each other open affection.
Charlie suddenly pulled away and quickly wiped the tears from her eyes. "I don't have time for this right now. I need to find Miles and figure out what the plan is."
"Charlie its okay to take a moment. It's okay to be sad and to remember."
"I remember everything mom, believe me I do. I remember every time he got sick, or got an asthma attack. I remember his goofy smile, his laugh and how he would cover for me when I'd run off. I remember it was my job to look out for him, and I remember how I failed him. And all of the tears in the world aren't going to change that fact and they aren't going to bring him back. So I'm going to focus on something that is actually going to matter."
Rachel watched Charlie stalk off and hung her head. She had lost one child in battle, and she was terrified that she was going to lose the other to battle. While Danny death had been mercifully quick, she had a feeling Charlie's would be long, slow and torturous. That this war and all the fighting would consumer her and all that would be left would be a shadow of what her daughter used to be. Or maybe it was just the grief of the day talking. Maybe Charlie would be fine. Maybe Rachel was the one slowly dying.
Miles and Bass tossed the body of the Patriot soldier into the freshly dug hole and started to cover it up.
"Bass, do me a favor," Miles asked as he leaned on the handle of his shovel. "Stay away from Charlie and Rachel for a while."
"Why?" he asked warily, wondering if Miles had seen his and Charlie's little moment earlier. Then again if he had there would probably be a whole lot less talking and more punching.
"It's Danny's birthday today."
Bass could feel a weight pressing in on his chest. "Oh," he muttered as he continued to fill the hole. What else could he say?
"Rachel's a wreak and I can only imagine what Charlie's going through. She practically raised that kid."
Now the pain in her eyes made sense. He had put it there. He felt like an ass, not a feeling he was overly familiar or comfortable with. He normally didn't give a rat's ass what other people thought or felt. They weren't his problem. But this was different. He cared that she was in pain, the problem was, he's the one that caused it. So what the hell did he do about it, or was there even anything he could do?
Bass must have spaced out and had no idea Miles was still talking to him until a dirt clod came flying through the air and hit him upside the head.
"Earth to dickhead, come in dickhead."
"What's your problem!?" Bass yelled.
"You! You're my problem." Miles signed and continued. "As I was saying, think you're up for a ride tomorrow?"
Bass nodded, "What do you have in mind?"
"You, me and Conner are going to leave in the morning and head off that supply wagon. Find out what these bastards are up to."
"Where am I going?" Conner asked as he walked up, sporting a nice new black eye.
What the hell happened to you?" Miles asked.
"He met Charlie." Bass said, half smiling.
"It went that well huh?" Miles snorted. "You know you need to work on ducking."
"Ha, ha, ha." Conner said, shooting dirty looks at both Miles and his father.
"Speaking of Charlie," Bass asked. "Is she coming with us?"
Miles shook his head. "No, I think she needs a break."
"She's not going to like that brother." Bass warned.
"Well that's too damn bad. Unlike junior here, I know how to dodge a punch." Miles smirked at the kid, and Conner just flipped him off in reply. "She needs a few days of peace and quiet to get her head in order."
"You think that's going to happen here with Rachel and Gene?" Bass asked skeptically.
"No, but it's the best I can do."
That night Miles joined Charlie by the campfire. They sat in silence for a long while, just enjoying the sounds of the night and the crackle of the fire. He nudged her shoulder with his and handed her his flask. She took a drink and handed it back. He took another drink before he spoke.
"You know kid, we could always get out of here. Go down to Mexico, open ourselves a bar and slowly drink ourselves to death."
Charlie turned her face slightly to him, gave him a lopsided grin and reached to take the flask from him. She took a drink. "How did that work out for you last time?"
Miles snorted. "Great, till this wonderfully annoying kid walked into my bar, talking about family and turned my life upside down."
"You forgot stubborn and a pain in the ass."
"Shut up smart ass. What I'm saying is that we don't have to do this anymore Charlie. We can find a quiet corner of the world, change our names, be different people. Just you, me and Rachel."
"Sounds nice," she sighed. "But if we don't do this who will? And how long will it be before the Patriots take over everything. We're the only ones who know the truth about what they did to Philly and Atlanta. Do you honestly think they'll stop looking for us, for mom? I'm okay Miles, I can handle this."
"I know you can. I've taught you well, maybe too well. You've never been afraid to do what needs to be done, no matter how hard it is, or what the cost is to you. I've always kind of admired that about you. I just worry about you. Take it from me, all of this fighting comes at a cost. I just don't want you to go through what I did, turn into who I was."
"Miles I'm not…." But Miles wouldn't let her finish.
"I know, I know, you're fine. But listen to me Charlie; this is a slippery slope, one I fight every day. I'd just hate to see you struggle like that too."
Charlie sighed, "I don't understand why everyone is so worried all of a sudden. Is it because I tortured a guy for information? Hell I've seen you do it numerous times. Is it because I did it on my own? I mean no one has a problem with me killing soldiers on a regular basis, so why is this any different?"
"It's not," Miles sighed. "I guess I just wish you didn't have a need to do it. I wish you'd leave that kind of stuff up to Bass and me. It's one thing to kill to defend yourself, but it's another to torture a guy for information."
"So I'm just supposed to leave the dirty work up to you and Bass, what because you're our resident experts? I don't think so. It's not fair to make you do things like that so we can sit back, wash our hands of it and call you monsters. You deserve better than that."
"Charlie, I am a monster and its things like that that made me that way."
"You're not a monster Miles, not even close. But I promise your secret is safe with me. If it makes you feel better, I didn't enjoy it."
Miles put his arm around her shoulders and hugged her tight. "You did what needed to be done. Just know that I love you Charlie and I'm sorry you had to go through that alone, and that Gene gave you such a hard time. You didn't deserve that."
"Thanks Miles," Charlie said as she leaned her head on his shoulder. She stayed there for a few moments, then got up to leave. "You guys need your rest; I'm going to take watch tonight."
Charlie was standing alone in the woods, lost in thought. Out here it was easy to let her thoughts wonder. Tonight she couldn't stop thinking about Danny. A mish mash of emotions were running through her, sadness, anger, guilt. It was all so overwhelming, she felt like she was being crushed from the inside. The sound of a snapping twig brought her back to earth; she raised her bow, ready to fire.
Bass stepped out of the shadows, hands raised in the air. "It's just me Charlotte."
"Jesus Bass, I could have killed you. Don't you know not to sneak up on me?"
"That's why I snapped the twig," he said holding two broken halves of stick in his hands.
"What do you want?" she asked.
Bass looked uncomfortable, he raised his hand to the back of his neck and started rubbing. "I just," he paused. "I just wanted to say I'm sorry….. about Danny."
"No! No! You do not get to say you're sorry about Danny! Do you hear me!" Charlie yelled. She could feel she was at the breaking point.
"I am sorry he died Charlie, if I could change things I would."
It was like a damn had burst. "The hell you would." Charlie launched herself at him, hitting him hard across the face. Bass's head snapped back but she didn't let up, Charlie threw another punch than another. Finally Bass grabbed her hands.
"That's enough Charlie." He growled
Like hell. She wrenched herself away from him and raised her hand to strike again. He caught her arm in mid-air, grabbed the other one and pinned her, with her arms above her head, against a nearby tree.
"Feel better?" he asked, his face mere inches away from hers.
Charlie shook her head no.
"Maybe I can help." Bass whispered as he lips claimed hers.
The kiss quickly turned into a ball of fiery passion. Bass squeezed her wrists before he let them go and moved his hands to her neck and the small of her back, drawing her even closer, and pressing her harder into the tree at the same time. Hiss kiss moved to pulse point of her neck and he lightly nipped, causing her body to shiver.
What the hell was she doing? This was wrong, but ohhh god it felt so good. Charlie tried to get her brain back on board, but it had fizzled out for some reason. His lips were everywhere and god it was exquisite. He sure knew what the hell he was doing. She needed to think. She moved her hands to his shoulder and fisted his shirt.
Bass nuzzled her neck and whispered, "Don't think Charlie, feel." Then pulled back slightly. The message was clear; the ball was in her court. It was up to her. Sink or swim, play it safe or play with fire, think or feel. She kept tightening and relaxing her grip on his shirt. Flex release, flex release. Finally she made her decision. She grabbed his shirt and pulled him to her, kissing him hard.
Bass groaned, nothing had ever felt this good. Her hand was wound tightly in his hair, massaging his head, while the other stroked his back. She wound one leg around his waist, pinning him to her. Like he would even think of leaving right now. His hands were everywhere, her hair, her back, her thigh. He couldn't get enough of touching her, and kissing her. At some point breathing would become important. Oh screw it; he'd happily die of suffocation right now. He didn't know how much time had passed, but finally some sort of sanity returned, which was a miracle because all of the blood had rushed from his brain to other parts of his anatomy.
He gentled his kisses and finally withdrew and was met by a whimpered protest from Charlie. His thumb caressed her swollen lips, and he rested is forehead on hers. "Charlie, we can't do this, not like this, not here. You deserve so much better than that. Hell you deserve so much better than I can even hope to give you."
"Bass I…"
"Shhh, Charlie." He whispered as he gently kissed her lips. "I'm going to leave before we do something we'll both regret later."
With that he walked back into the night. Charlie stared after him shocked. She took some long steading breaths, trying to get her heart rate back to normal, straitened her shirt then started to bang the back of her head against the tree. She couldn't help but feel like she had opened Pandora's Box, and why didn't that bother her?