SORRY SORRY SORRY I HAVEN'T UPDATED IN YEARS!!!! I HAD A BRAIN DEAD WEEK OR… YEAR… AND I WAS BOMBARDED WID LOADS OF IDEAS FOR DIFFERENT STORIES, AND I ALMOST ABANDONED THIS STORY BUT I COULDN'T BRING MYSELF TO!!!! I'M SUCH A BAD AUTHOR… WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH

Anyway, Disclaimer: WHAT THE HELL DO U THINK?! DON'T RUB IT IN MY FACE!!!!!

Now, on with the story, oh and by the way, I am going to take the advice of one of my reviewers who said the story would be better without the texting lingo… so here goes:

Flashback:

'Ah yes, Tenten, Neji, be sure to wear formal clothes.' Hiashi said.

They both gaped.

Why? They hate dressing formal (well Tenten only) let alone dress as the other gender would. Oomph. Tough.

When everyone left, leaving a shocked Neji (Tenten) and a devastated Tenten (Neji), they yelled:

'I'M GOING TO HAVE TO WEAR FORMAL GUYS/GIRLS CLOTHES!'

And then they fainted. Well Tenten did. Neji just went brain dead because of all the information he had just received.

Meanwhile, a drunk Jiraiya is writing his perverted novel…

'Oooh ahahaha! Eeeheeeheee!'

Suddenly he starts muttering..

'OH I'D LOVE TO SEE THE TIME THEY KISS! IT'S THE ONLY WAY THEY CAN GET OUT OF THE NINJUTSU! EEHEEEHEEE! I LIED TO THEM WHEN I SAID TWO WEEKS! OH WELL! TOO BAD ONLY TENTEN HEARD THE TWO WEEKS PART! OTHERWISE NEJI WOULD NOT HAVE COMPLIED AND I WOULDN'T HAVE HAD THIS PERFECT SECTION IN MY ICHA ICHA VICIOUS TACTICS OF VIOLENT FLIRTING!!! AHAHAHA! THEY'LL FEEL LIKE ONE PERSON ONCE THEIR SOULS SWITCH BACK DURING THE KISS!...

THAT IS… IF THEY KISS…'

Neji (Tenten) woke up and stared around, dazed.

'Ok, Neji? I'm gonna have to borrow some of your clothes.'

'No duh.' He deadpanned.

'Ok… so where are we going for dinner?'

'I think it's a place called 'The Vampy.''

'What the FREAK?! Isn't that like… a gothy place?'

'Uh yeah… apparently the two twins are both emo… don't see why not judging by their father forcing them into arranged marriage… maybe I should consider going emo… hmmph… that'll show them!'

'Uh Neji… NEJI?! I think you've gone crazy…'

'Hn. C'mon, let's get ready.'

Tenten went with Neji to his room and he lent her some of his traditional robes.

'Here are some of my robes… you need to wear these on formal occasions…'

'And why would I need to know that? You do know that we're only going to stay in each others' bodies for two weeks…'

'I just don't seem to believe Jiraiya… I have a feeling that he was drunk… did you see the blush on his cheeks when you picked up the kunai?'

'No?'

'Hn. I'm going to research this later on… It might be a stupid ninjutsu that some moron –namely Jiraiya…sama…- made up…' Neji said the sama with as much sarcasm he could muster.

'Nah… I don't think so… ah well… do I need to be formal when addressing the two girls in the restaurant? Or can I be slacky-offy? Do you want to marry Yukiko or not?' Tenten replied.

'I don't particularly wish to marry her, but you MUST be polite! I will not have my reputation ruined… And you DO remember that the score is 27 to 24 on the humiliation scale, right Tenten? I have TWENTY SEVEN things to say against you, while you have only TWENTY FOUR…' Neji replied.

'Hmmph. Fine! I'll be polite…mendokuso (troublesome)!'

'It's only for one night!'

'Geez…ok ok!'

The two got dressed into what they thought would be formal enough clothing… although they were going to a goth restaurant…

They went downstairs to be met by the two twins, grinning… wearing black kimonos with red obis…

But there was one difference…

These kimonos were tailored to reach mid thigh, and the sleeves were cut off, and the neck was V neck… They were also wearing fishnet stockings underneath…

'Hey Neji, Tenten… you do know that 'formal' in 'The Vampy' means black and red, right?' Kimiko cheerfully said.

'Hn.'

'Oops…'

'Nevermind! We'll be in a separate room anyway so it won't matter. Have you guys been to 'The Vampy' before? I've been dreaming to go there since it opened a couple of months back! It's brand new! Did you know that it takes weeks to get a reservation! I didn't know Konoha had such a big goth population! It's awesome! I-'

'Kimiko! Show your manners! What would father say?!' Yukiko cut her off…

'Oi Neji!' Neji(Tenten) whispered.

'Hn?'

'I think Yukiko is a stuffy old bag! You two are meant to be!'

'Hn.' Tenten (Neji) replied.

'Anyway, please excuse my misbehavior, let us go to the restaurant before our table is given to somebody else.'

'Ok.'

'Hn.'

'Finally she shuts up!' Yukiko muttered.

Meanwhile, in Tsunade's office…

'Shizune! Please get me Tenten's file immediately! I want to check the information on her bloodline limit.'

'Hai.'

Shizune came back with Tenten's file and placed it on Tsunade's desk.

'It says here that Tenten's family was killed in the Konoha great war and only she, who was adopted, and her adopted brother, Nagato, survived. He, aged 10 at the time, dropped her off at the Hokage building, but he had a fatal wound to his eyes, where is kekke genkai was located, and he died. His kekke genkai was the Rinnegan.'

'But that's impossible! The only person who has the Rinnegan now is Pein from Akatsuki!'

'That is the problem. I don't believe he died. I think he ran back to the rain village where he was originally from. Tenten was related to him, so she is also from the rain village. Remember the time Jiraiya stayed back to take care of the three children? Nagato was one of them. He, along with Konan and Yahiko were a band of three orphaned children in the rain village. Nagato lied to both Konan and Yahiko that he was an orphan from rain. He didn't say that he had run from Konoha. Jiraiya, Orochimaru and I had a mission at around that time, and that's when Jiraiya promised to stay back and teach the three children. It was then that he became aware of Nagato's Rinnegan.'

'Wow. Did the third know about this?'

'No. I just figured it out. Nagato didn't die in the war. His foster parents, from the Ama clan all died and he thought to protect his one year old baby sister. They had both just been adopted after Nagato and Tenten were found outside Konoha's gates.'

'That doesn't explain the Tenten's secret hideout that Neji somehow managed to get into.'

'Well, I have concluded that all the three clans with the eye power can see the hideout. Uchiha, Hyuuga, and Yuiga. Madara Uchiha, Hiro Hyuuga, and Itame Yuiga. 3 clan heads of the 3 most powerful clans in the world. Also, they were 3 best friends. It is said that they created the powerful eye techniques, but Itame created the most powerful, the Rinnegan. The Byakugan is the second most powerful and then the Sharingan. My grandfather, the first Hokage, was also part of their group, but just shortly before the eye techniques were created, my grandfather had a fight with Madara. Anyway, the reason why only people from those three clans can see the hideout is because there was a side effect to the jutsu that they used to create the eyes, and it affected the whole area around where they performed the jutsu.'

'Then how come Tenten doesn't have the Rinnegan?'

'I believe her brother knew about it and cast a suppressing jutsu that their father taught him onto her, so she could only activate it once she is told about it.'

'So are we going to tell her?'

'Not yet. Only when she turns eighteen.'

'Hai, Tsunade-sama. Wow.'

'It's quite dangerous… we can't let her know yet. But remember, these are just random guesses.'

'Hai.'

Meanwhile, with Neji and Tenten:

'OH MY GOSH OH MY GOSH WE'RE HERE!!!!!!'

'Kimiko! Hush!'

'Sorry.'

They walked inside the restaurant, only to be stared at weirdly by everyone. Everyone else was dressed in depressing black and red outfits. Neji (Tenten) just glared at anyone who dared look at them, after having mastered the traditional Hyuuga glare.

Neji (Tenten) led them to a separate room that Hiashi had booked in advance, and they all sat down, Yukiko opposite Neji (Tenten) and Tenten (Neji) opposite Kimiko.

'So, Neji-kun, tell us about yourself.' Yukiko said.

'First off, only people who I've known for years call me Neji-kun. I find it a suffix that I feel comfortable with only when I have known the person using it for years. Not to be rude or anything, I still don't know much about you, Yukiko-san. Anyway, my favourite colour is white. Do not try to change that. I meditate for 5 hours every night, and sleep the remaining 3 hours. Do not try to change that either. I believe in Feng Shui and Yin Yang, so I want balance. I train for the whole day, only having water and food breaks, or on trips to the Hokage. The only other time I am not training is talking with Tenten, or walking to training, or on missions.'

'Wow… how interesting…' Yukiko said, sarcasm lacing her voice.

'That's cool! I mean I've never met anyone who's favourite colour is white!'

'Hn.'

'Tenten… why do you make me sound like a wheezy old geezer?' Tenten (Neji) asked.

'Cause you are one.'

'Hn.'

'So, Yukiko, tell us about yourself.'

'I like black, grey and blue. Don't ask why. I cannot stand bubbly airheads. I fancy genjutsu, and that is my strong point. I hate my dad. Don't ask why either. Actually, I'll just tell you. He is a freak. He just wants fame and glory by making so called 'ties' between Konoha and Ame. We already have a peace treaty, so I'm just going to say, 'What the Freak!' That is all you need to know about me.'

'Yukiko! How rude! And you're the one telling me to be more polite! Hmmph.'

'Rusei Kimiko!'

'Geez… So Tenten, what about you?'

'Oh, me? I…uh…love Pandas, as you can clearly see by my buns…I also hate dressing formally, and letting my hair down, and wearing makeup, so I guess you could call me a tomboy… Oh I absolutely love weapons… especially a kunai… you see, the shape of the kunai is most interesting… the way it goes, it goes into the body… and out… in, out… giving the person at the receiving end a most 'pleasurable' experience… and uh...'

'O…K… moving onto ME!!! I ADORE DOGS!!!! THEY ARE SO…DOGGY!!!!! And cute and huggable and whatever else… my favourite colour is PINK and my second favourite colour is PURPLE!!!! AND I AM THE CHEERFUL ONE OUT OF BOTH OF US!!!'

'Ahem… Kimiko is a bit excited about coming to the Vampy…'

'I can tell.'

'Anyway, why don't we order?'

'Oh yes, of course… Neji, you go first…'

'Neji! How the heck do you pronounce these words?! It's all in german!' Neji (Tenten) hissed at Tenten (Neji).

'Don't ask me.'

'Ok, uh waiter! I'm going to have uh… Dee Skreilik soup… (Die schreilich suppe) (pronounced: dee shrylich zu-peh) meaning: 'The screamy soup…'

(sorry couldn't think of anything better… I'm listening to 'Schrei' by Tokio Hotel now…)

'And you, madame?' The waiter asked Tenten (Neji) after he had stopped violently twitching in annoyment.

'Uh… I'll have 'Dee kleine Scheizling…' (Die kleine Scheizling) Meaning: the little shitling…

'And you, my ladies?'

'We'll have two 'Kleine Scheize Fuchs.' (two little shitty foxes…)

'That will be all, arigato.'

'Whatever… OI TELL THE CHEF TO MAKE FOUR ORDERS OF CRAP!'

Cough cough…

'So Neji, when do you want the wedding to be?'

'Nev-' Neji elbowed Tenten before she could finish her sentence.

'Maybe in a few months…' Tenten (Neji) said.

'Hmm… whatever…'

'We need to get to know each other…'

'Or, just fuck that and we don't have to get married!'

'Yukiko!' Kimiko yelled.

'Hey! At least I'm trying to be nice! It's not like I want to get married either!

'Good, so we agreed on something!' Yukiko huffed as she stomped out.

TBC

AT LONG LAST! FINISHED!!!! Well… it only took me a couple of hours… AH WELL!!! REVIEW!!! OR ELSE THERE WILL BE NO CHAPTER 7!!! DUN DUN DUN!!!! MUAHAHAHAHAHA IT FEELS SO GOOD TO BE IN CONTROL!!!