Thank you to all the people who reviewed! And… I will try not to seek inspiration from the apparently brain-washable music by Tokio hotel… lol! Anyway, I hope I didn't offend anyone with my outrageous german skills… blame my school! Now, on with the sob DISCLAIMER!!!!

Disclaimer: Fishcake Shippuuden is not owned by me. And I say fishcake, because I cannot bring myself to fully admitting that I don't sob own N-Nar-r-rut-to Ship-p-uu-d- WAAAAHH!!! I STILL CAN'T ADMIT IT!!!

Now, sniff, on with the story.

'So Neji, when do you want the wedding to be?'

'Nev-' Neji elbowed Tenten before she could finish her sentence.

'Maybe in a few months…' Tenten (Neji) said.

'Hmm… whatever…'

'We need to get to know each other…'

'Or, just fuck that and we don't have to get married!'

'Yukiko!' Kimiko yelled.

'Hey! At least I'm trying to be nice! It's not like I want to get married either!'

'Good, so we agreed on something!' Yukiko huffed as she stomped out.

As Yukiko left, Kimiko looked at Neji and Tenten apologetically.

'Sorry, you guys, she'll come back soon. She's just angry that she has to marry a stranger. I mean, there's of course nothing wrong with you, but I would probably feel the same way if I were in her position. By the way, where is Hazashi-san? Wasn't he supposed to be here?'

Tenten (Neji) replied, 'He is known for being 'fashionably late.' I have had my experiences. He shall be here shortly. Hopefully, Yukiko will find interest in him.'

'Ah yes, I hope so too.'

Just then, a guy with shoulder length black hair and white eyes came in. The first thing Tenten noticed about him was that his hair wasn't as shiny and lustrous as Neji's, and his eyes weren't a cooling lilac, but instead a horrible pale grey. One thing she couldn't stand about him was his smirk. It was terrible! The only smirk she could enjoy was Neji's, and that itself took a few years to get used to.

'Neji! He looks so smug! Should I hate him or not? How do I act?!' Neji (Tenten) whispered.

'I can't stand that son of a….anyway, usually we are rivals. Just act polite, but I really don't care if you make biting remarks… that'll teach him… just make Yukiko like him more, ok? Just make him seem more charming than he actually is, so Yukiko will already like him more than me, and nobody would care if I lost the battle for her heart. I'm going to feign anyway.'

'Sure thing… I'll try my best.' Neji (Tenten) replied with as much sarcasm as possible.

'Hello, pretty flower, it is an honour to meet you. Please excuse my tardiness, for I just got back from an S-rank mission and I had to kill off a man by the name of Tobi. He was from Akatsuki, and I had to obtain the ring from his finger. I hope you do not mind. Although, where, may I ask is your sister?' Hazashi said, pretending Neji and Tenten didn't exist.

'Yukiko-san is getting some fresh air outside, she will be back momentarily.' Kimiko stiffly replied, already not liking Hazashi's show offy attitude, knowing that Tobi from Akatsuki had been killed ages ago.

Tenten couldn't help herself, so she said, (well technically it looked like Neji said) 'Wasn't Tobi killed by Sasuke Uchiha around 2 years ago? Around the same time Deidara was killed? I could've sworn that his ring was incinerated the same day.' She said this while smirking Neji's smirk.

'Tenten!' Neji hissed. 'Why the fuck did you do that?'

'Felt like it.' She hissed back.

Hazashi looked up. 'Neji.'

'Hazashi.' Neji (Tenten) replied with as much bastardyness as she could muster.

'Now, now, we all know that SIDE branch members need to show respect to MAIN branch members.'

Tenten (Neji) visibly flinched.

'Then I wonder why Neji was chosen instead of you, Hazashi.' Tenten (Neji) replied.

'And who would you be? Ah yes, the marvelous weapons mistress Tenten. Oh my, it seems that I have forgotten your last name. What was it again? Yamanaka? I think I may have gone on a date with you before… around 3 years ago, am I not correct?'

'You are terribly mistaken. Firstly, Tenten does not have a last name. And one more thing, she would never date the likes of you, Hazashi-san.' Neji (Tenten) replied, adding as much venom to the –san suffix as she could muster. Tenten (Neji) grinned.

'Thanks, Neji-kun.' Tenten (Neji) said.

'No problem, Ten-chan.' Neji (Tenten) said.

A bit wounded by the biting remarks, Hazashi took his seat beside Neji (Tenten). Yukiko chose that moment to return, with a plastic smile plastered onto her face.

'And you must be Hazashi-san. It is a pleasure to meet you.'

'Ah, Yukiko-chan, how nice to finally see your beautiful face.'

'Ahem!' Kimiko said. Why? Well she has the same face as Yukiko, and Hazashi didn't comment on her face.

'Is something the matter, Kimiko?' Hazashi calmly asked.

'No… nothing…' she grumbled. Tenten had to stifle laughter because it would look out of place if Neji laughed.

Yukiko took her seat. Neji (Tenten) took that moment to whisper to Tenten (Neji), 'You're right! I already hate that teme! Lowlife freak! And I've only been with him for about 1 minute!'

'And I'm his rival… imagine my situation…'

'Hazashi-san, pray tell me why you wish to be married to me?' Yukiko asked.

'I strongly believe in securing and strengthening ties between Ame and Konoha. What better way to do it than wedding the Amekage's daughter to THE strongest ninja in Konoha, namely me?'

'You sure are the modest one.' Yukiko sarcastically said while chuckling… on the bright side she was chuckling…

'I only speak the truth.' Hazashi 'modestly' said.

Tenten could feel Neji getting angrier… the only problem was that he was in her body.

'Neji! Cool it! Who cares? You're not going to marry her anyway!'

'You're right.' His anger subsided and he resumed Tenten's normal façade.

Suddenly, the waiter came around with plates of something. He placed them down in each respectful place.

'Dinner is served.'

He had brought what appeared to be four dishes of flaming poop… the dishes were on fire. Suddenly, the waiter picked up some…eh…chicken broth… (that looked pretty much like urine) and poured it on top of the flaming poops, extinguishing them, leaving them steaming.

'Please call on me whenever you may need anything. I really hope you enjoy your meal. Really.'

The waiter said this as if he had rehearsed some crappy lines to show SOME formality to the Hyuugas and the princesses. Unfortunately, he let some sarcasm slip…

'Uh Yukiko? Kimiko? Are you sure you do not wish to eat anywhere else?'

'HELL NO!!! I MEAN THIS IS THE RENOWNED KLEINE SCHEIZE FUCHS DISH MADE FROMED BROILED PORK DOUSED, AS YOU JUST SAW, IN CHICKEN BROTH!!!!' Guess who said. (Kimiko.)

'Umm… when you put it that way, it doesn't seem so bad. Hazashi, what would you like to eat?' Neji (Tenten) asked him without bothering to add the –san suffix.

'That's Hazashi-sama to you, and I'm on a diet.' Hazashi said, already exceeding the amount of respect that he should hold for himself. Usually people were only required to say Hazashi-san to him, not Hazashi-sama. Bastard.

They ate their meals in silence, and Neji (Tenten) paid for the meal with a black visa card that Tenten (Neji) had given to her shortly before the dinner.

They left, thanking the host. Kimiko, Yukiko, and Hazashi headed back to the Hyuuga manor, leaving Neji and Tenten.

'Tenten. Head back to the Hyuuga manor and act normally. Just try to avoid everyone to avoid contact. I will be going to the Hokage building to gain information on jutsus. No questions. Please allow me.'

'No problem, Neji-kun.'

With that, Neji and Tenten departed, Tenten heading for the Hyuuga estate, and Neji heading to the Hokage building.

Tenten's POV:

Fuck Hazashi.

Fuck that bastard.

I never want to see that fucktard ever again.

I hope Neji finds the information that we need to switch back.

GRRRR DAMN JIRAIYA!

Tenten was walking absently around the halls until someone bumped into her.

'Neji-nii-san!'

'Hanabi.'

Shit what do I do! Is Hanabi Neji's rival or what?!

'Say, Neji-nii-san. Did you ask Tenten out yet? I know that you've been dying to! And you know I have your diary… MUAHAHAHAHA!' Hanabi said evilly and ran off.

What was that? Neji has a…DIARY?! And what was that about asking me out? I'll have to ask him later… Seems like Hanabi is a rival… HOW MANY GODAMN RIVALS CAN ONE PERSON HAVE?!

Tenten made it to Neji's room and locked the door. She then went to bed, knowing that there would be a long day ahead.

Neji's POV:

'Tsunade-sama, I am here on important business. I need some information on a certain jutsu.'

'Yes Tenten? Hurry up though, I need to finish my paper work.'

At that Shizune frowned. She knew Tsunade just wanted to sleep.

'This jutsu is a jutsu that makes you switch souls. Have you heard about anything like that?'

'Ah yes… in fact, Jiraiya was the one that made it up… Why do you ask?'

'I need to know the antidote… you see, one of my…friends…switched with another… They asked me not to tell…'

'And by friends, I'm assuming you and somebody?'

HOW THE FUCK IS SHE THAT SMART?

Gulp.

'No?'

'Don't lie.'

'Fine…just don't tell Tenten that I managed to lose so simply.'

'Whatever… who did you manage to switch with, and how?'

'Can't you just tell me the jutsu first?!' Neji whined.

'No.'

'Fine. Tenten and me. I'm surprised you don't know who I am yet.'

'Actually, I do, Neji.'

'Ok… I was walking with Tenten the day you told us to, and we went to this antique store… it had a friendship kunai that Jiraiya sold to us and we slit our palms and slapped them together. We went to bed and we woke up in each others' bodies.'

'Wait a sec… JIRAIYA?! I BET HE'S DOING THIS FOR HIS ICHA ICHA NOVEL!!! DAMN THAT PERVERT!'

'Uh Tsunade-sama?'

'Huh? Oh yes. I believe there is only one way out. I myself am not sure, but I will have to ask Jiraiya-sama.'

'Ok. PLEASE tell me soon.'

'I am aware of your discomfort. You have been betrothed, no?'

'Yes.'

'And you probably have problems with that, right?'

'Yes.'

'And Tenten is in your body?'

'Yes.'

'Do you know how she is taking this?'

'Sadly, no.'

'Ah well. You are dismissed. I will let you know as soon as I am informed.'

'Hai, Tsunade-sama.'

I left.

Normal POV:

Neji left.

'JIRAIYA! COME OUT!' Tsunade hollered.

Jiraiya stepped out from behind a curtain and chuckled.

'It seems that our matchmaking thing is going according to plan.'

'Yes! Now, I'm going to need this volume of your ICHA ICHA Tactics. The one where this scenario happens? I'm going to tell Neji that you told me that the key to breaking the jutsu is following the storyline.'

'MAGNIFICENT!! AHAHA EEEHEEEHEE!!'

'So, Jiraiya, so far we have set them up to kiss. Now they need to kiss after reading the story. Am I right?'

'Yes.'

'And the real only way to get out of the jutsu is kissing?'

'Yes.'

'Well then. Good.'

'But, in all seriousness, the wedding and Tenten's kekke genkai are troublesome.'

'I am aware. But after some observation, I know that Neji does not want to be married to Yukiko, and he does have feelings for Tenten.'

'Very well. PART A: MAKE NEJI AND TENTEN SWITCH SOULS: COMPLETE!

PART B: MAKE NEJI AND TENTEN READ ICHA ICHA TACTICS: COMMENCES!

To be continued.

For those who didn't understand:

Tsunade and Jiraiya are setting Neji and Tenten up by putting them in a ninjutsu that they can only supposedly get out of by kissing. They will find this out by reading the latest volume of Icha Icha Tactics, that Tsunade will give to them after telling Neji that Jiraiya told her that the only way out of the jutsu is to follow the storyline of the story. What the story contains is unknown, and you shall find out, in the next chapter, if I GET THIRTY REVIEWS!

-tenjichan.