Chapter 6

In Which I Cannot Speak

"Okay so… Bloody Mary?"

"Not real."

"Okay, hmm. Werewolves?"

"Not real."

"Vampires?"

"Not very imaginative are you? Also not real."

"Hey!" I frowned and crossed my arms, trying to think hard about stories that may (or apparently may not) be based on real magical beings.

"Okay, listen, I'm tired and I want to get some sleep. You've about worn out your welcome. The door's there." Patrick pointed to the door that I had helped him replace just a few… I check my watch.

Oh. Hours ago. No wonder he'd been getting sharp with me if he was tired.

"Okay. Bye, I guess? Can I come back and visit sometime?" Patrick gave me a look that said I wasn't likely to be invited back anytime soon. Fair enough. At least he was honest about not wanting to socialize with me.

It was dawn as I walked outside, the light hurting my eyes for a moment as I took off and headed west.

I got a little lost over the Atlantic, ended up a lot farther south than I had meant to. I didn't get to Ashley's place before she had already left for her classes.

I was actually very proud of her; after Jack had brought her to the North Pole and realized that though I had died I still existed she recovered from her depression quickly. Sometimes I still caught her when she thought I wasn't looking; the guilt in her eyes hurt me, too. But it was hard to discuss. She knew now that I wouldn't age, wouldn't be able to go to college, graduate or have a family. She knew that I wouldn't have died if she hadn't gone to that party.

I didn't blame her for the turn my life had taken after death. It wasn't her fault in the slightest. But she didn't see it that way and no amount of cajoling and hugs would convince her otherwise.

So she had cleaned up her act. (I couldn't pretend I wasn't happy to see that.) She stopped partying too much, stopped wasting her time with losers who would ditch her at said parties and started going on proper dates. And she enrolled in classes at the local community college. She wasn't too enthused about most of them, but she knew I would always help her study and finish essays.

She actually had quite a knack for forensic sciences. She was getting an A in her Criminal Processes class, too. Her guidance counselor had said she had a good chance of making a career as a forensic tech or as the assistant to a crime scene investigator (What? I hadn't been eavesdropping… I was just curious how her classes were going.) After the first two weeks of classes she had forbidden me from going with her; apparently I was too distracting when I was whispering the right answers so she could get points for class participation.

So even though I was happy that she was finishing her education, it made for some lonely weekdays. North had given me a PS3 to keep at Ashley's place (until I found my own place) to keep me occupied and, I presumed, out of trouble.

I sat down and loaded in Portal 2, one of my favorite games. Although I had already finished the game itself, it had some replay value. Also, it was good practice for when Ash and I worked our way through the co-op stages.

"Yo!" I waved happily from in front of the TV when the door opened. Ashley stepped inside the room and dropped her backpack on the floor with a heavy thud.

"Come play with me, I think I figured out a way to get past the-"

"Ugh!" Ashley threw up her hands, looking severely annoyed.

"Huh?" I paused the game and got to my feet, which was difficult because one of them had fallen asleep.

"You are so selfish. You don't have a job, or go to school, you just sit on your ass and-"

"Hey, what are you-" I tried to interject but she just spoke louder.

"And do nothing all day! And now, instead of a 'hey, how was your day?' or 'hi, Ashley, how are you?' you're just thinking of yourself. 'Come play with me', don't you want to do anything other than fuck around?"

I couldn't believe she was saying these things. I stared at her for a moment and took a deep breath, trying to calm down. I tried hard to focus on how much I loved her, she was my best friend and if she was under a spell I would be able to see it if I tried. I focused on how being around her made me feel-

"So you're just going to stand there and stare at me? Can't think of anything useful to say either? You're just going to be a goddamn waste of space?" Tears pricked at my eyes but I tried desperately to stay calm and remember times Ashley and I had had lots of fun together, trying to summon up enough magic to detect subversive spells, but she kept going.

"Don't you have any ambition? Don't you want to do something with your life other than fuck around and whine about how you can't choose between two guys?" I couldn't take it anymore.

"I'm not fucking around with either of them, and you know I love Pitch!"

"Oh please, the last time we hung out all you could talk about was Jack because all you want to do is blow everything off and never grow up and take responsibility for what happened to Envy! You just want to fly around and pretend everything's fine when you murdered her!"

"How can you say that! You know I didn't want to do that, I never meant to-"

"But you did! All you do is hurt the people around you, including me!" Oh god, please, I don't want to have this argument…

"Ash, please…"

"Please what? Please don't be mad that you're holding me back? Please don't be mad that my best friend went and died and now I can't even move on properly because she turned into a witch that no one else can see? Don't be mad because she's clinging to me desperately to try and live through me vicariously because she'll never have the life she planned to have?"

I couldn't have spoken if I wanted to. My throat had closed up and ached badly. I couldn't even bring myself to move my arm to wipe away the tears that were dripping from my chin to the floor.

"Just get out of here, Rona. I want to move on with my life, so GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!" She screamed these last words, and the shock of it caused me to jump back towards the window. I opened my mouth, trying to plead with her, but I couldn't speak. I was crying too hard.

She reached towards her bedside table and picked up the picture frame there; a picture my sister had taken that day we'd all gone climbing together. She pulled her arm back and threw it at me.

I didn't even move to block it. It hit me in the side of the head, and I felt warmth as blood trickled down onto my ear. One more sob choked me as I tried to speak, to say anything, but I couldn't.

All I could do was turn and flee through the window as she reached for a bottle of nail polish, preparing to throw that too.

Please no, I don't want this to be happening.

Oh my god you guys. Sorry for not writing forever. I lost my inspiration (and my spare time) but today I had an idea and I'm running with it before it leaves me. I will do my best to finish this fanfic if it kills me! (Although it probably won't).

As always, please favorite, follow or review (possibly all three) if you like what you're reading. Thanks to you guys who're reading this after I didn't publish for a super long time. I appreciate the loyalty.