Author's Note: Happy Thanksgiving everybody! Have part two of this silliness. I don't plan to make this a long series as I only have a few more ideas in mind, but future ones will be added if I happen to get more ideas, that's all :) I'm kinda eh about how this turned out, but I hope you like it!

ii. anything you can do i can do better

Leaning his cheek against his palm, Gray watched Juvia walking towards Lucy, carrying a warm drink in her hands. The subtle sway of her hips was mesmerizing, his eyes trained on the glimpse of her legs peeking through her high slit skirt with every step she took.

Those legs… those same legs that'd been straddling his hips just last night, her body on top of his with her hips rolling in vicious grinds, back and forth and up and down—

"—that right, Gray?"

"Huh?" the ice mage said, snapping out of his thoughts. He shifted his gaze towards Natsu, blinking his half-lidded eyes. "Yeah, sure, whatever."

"Really?!" Natsu exclaimed, making Gray raise a brow at his chortling grin. "So you think dragon slayers are better than devil slayers?!"

Gray narrowed his eyes. "What are you—"

"Ha!" bellowed Natsu, shooting up and pointing an accusing finger in Gray's face. "I knew you weren't listening, ice princess!"

Gray scoffed, shoving Natsu's hand out of his face. "Shut up before I kick your dumb ass, flame-brain."

"Keh, like you'd even land a hit, all dazed out like that," Natsu replied, sitting back down and folding his arms behind his head. "What's up, huh? What's your deal?"

Gray said nothing, drifting his gaze back towards Juvia and Lucy. Natsu shortly followed suit.

"Oh," the dragon slayer muttered. "I get it now."

Gray met his gaze for a moment. "Do you."

Natsu beamed a toothy grin. "Oh yeah! You're staring at Lucy and goin', 'Wow, Natsu is way cooler than my lame frozen ass, gettin' to be with a girl like that—'"

"I'm lookin' at Juvia, jackass," Gray cut in, shooting Natsu a flat look. "Last night, she was riding me, and it was…" He diverted his eyes once more, returning to Juvia's long, shapely legs. "Perfect for feeling up those legs, ya know? Ain't nothing like it."

Natsu stared, silent for a few moments before his eyes trained on Lucy. "Yeah…"

Gray arched a brow. "What, you like Lucy topping you too?"

"Hell yeah," he grinned, lifting his hands to his chest before making a circular motion and squeezing suggestively. "Boing boing, right?"

Gray snorted, rolling his eyes. "Hardly compares to Juvia. Have you seen her hips? Perfect for grabbing while she's riding me to oblivion."

"Lucy's still better!" Natsu huffed.

"Wrong again—you wouldn't believe what Juvia can do with her hands and mouth."

"You sayin' Lucy's not good?!"

"Probably not as good as Juvia."

"Nuh-uh! She writes and stuff, so she's got a crazy imagination!"

"…and you think Juvia doesn't?"

Natsu faltered for a moment, averting his gaze before slamming his fist against the table. "Lucy's got a nice ass!"

"So does Juvia," Gray countered. "Nice legs always have a great ass."

Steam shot from Natsu's nose. "Yeah, well, Lucy's boobs are huge! Way bigger than Juvia's."

Gray snorted. "As if, and besides, Juvia's legs are way longer."

Natsu stood up, "Lucy smells good!"

Gray stripped off his shirt, "Juvia's softer!"

"Lucy's warmer!"

"Juvia's literally wet all the time. How many times you gotta get Lucy in the mood?"

Natsu widely grinned, and Gray narrowed his eyes.

"Forget it, I don't wanna know. S'like hearing about your little sister—"

"She practically jumps me when we get back to her place—"

"Shut it—"

"Especially after jobs—and during jobs—and sometimes even before jobs—"

"What's the longest you've lasted with her?"

Natsu paused, narrowing his eyes while Gray grinned smugly in return. "What's the longest you've lasted?"

Gray smirked wider, "Too embarrassed to admit it?"

Natsu flared. "No! It's longer than you!"

"Oh yeah? Longer than three hours?"

Natsu blinked, "That's it?"

Gray scoffed. "Yeah. Three hours—and a minute."

"HA! I got three hours and two minutes!"

"I MEANT THREE MINUTES—"

"WELL I MEANT FOUR—"

The two growled at each other, teeth bared and foreheads pressed together.

"I bet you couldn't last all night!" Natsu barked.

"Like that's a challenge!" Gray sneered.

"WHOEVER LOSES HAS TO STEAL ERZA'S ARMOR!"

"YOU'RE ON!"

The two sprung apart, turning simultaneously to Lucy and Juvia who had glanced over during the commotion.

"Juvia!" Gray called. "We're leaving!"

"Eh?" the girl peeped, squeaking when he suddenly stormed over and threw her over his shoulder. "G-Gray-sama—!"

"We're leaving too!" Natsu huffed, dashing to Lucy and lifting her bridal style.

"Natsu!" Lucy scolded, pushing against his chest. "What're you doing?! Put me down—!"

"Lucy-san!" Juvia called, reaching towards the girl. "Gray-sama, Juvia was speaking with Lucy-san! Why did you—"

"Juvia," he cut in, and she immediately silenced, blushing under the intensity of his stare. "Save your voice. You're gonna need it when you're screaming my name"—he glared directly to Natsu—"all night long."

Natsu glared right back, drawing Lucy closer to his chest. "Yeah?! Well Luce, I hope you slept a lot, 'cause you're not getting a bit of sleep tonight!"

"Ahh, Gray-sama~!"

"Natsu—!"

"Don't snore too loud when you pass out in the middle of it, flame-brain!"

"Like you'll even get it up with your blue balls, ice-princess! I'm all fired up!"

Growling, both boys whisked the girls away, zipping past an irate Gajeel who stared mutely ahead. He sat with his arms crossed tersely over his chest, fist clenching against his arm while Levy turned the page of her book, oblivious to the whole spectacle.

"Oi, shrimp," he muttered, prompting her to glance at him. "You're not getting any sleep tonight either."

Levy froze, her face reddening while her book slipped from her hands.

The next day, Gray strolled into the guildhall, grinning proudly with his head held high. He hoisted Juvia higher against his back as she slept against his shoulder, drawing soft breaths while his hands gripped her thighs.

"Yo!" Natsu shouted, rushing over to the ice mage. "Did ya—"

"Shh!" Gray hissed, shooting him a glare. "Keep it down, moron! Can't you see Juvia's sleeping?"

Natsu glanced at her, quirking a brow before scratching his hair. "Still? But it's lunchtime! And why're you carrying her?"

Gray smirked. "Whady'a think, she barely slept last night and she's too sore to walk."

"Sore 'cause she had to do all the work, right?"

"Ha, fuck you too—"

"Can you guys keep it down!" Lucy screeched. The boys glanced over to her, finding her slumped over Mira's table with dark bags under her eyes.

Gray squinted, "What's with her?"

Natsu turned towards him and proudly beamed. "She didn't get any sleep either!"

Silence fell between them as they both looked at one another, confusion slowly crossing their faces.

"…So who won," they muttered.

Natsu blankly stared while Gray simply shrugged, hitching Juvia higher against his back.

After a few moments, Natsu suddenly brightened, flashing a wide, toothy grin. "I know!" Gray arched a brow as Natsu's eyes gleamed. "I bet I can make Lucy scream way more than you could make Juvia!"

Gray twitched, "Are you kidding me—"

"COUNT IT, or else you have to steal Cana's alcohol!"

The ice mage snorted. "You know there're numbers higher than ten, right."

"I know! I can count to twenty, you ass! But Lucy's gonna scream way more than that!"

"Probably screaming to get it over with."

"YOU'RE JUST AFRAID TO LOSE!"

"BRING IT ON, FLAME-BRAIN!"

"…Gray-sama…?"

"Hang on tight, Juvia!"

"E-Eh?!"

She squealed when he suddenly dashed out of the guild, her skirt flying up behind her.

"LUCY!" Natsu shouted, flames springing from his mouth as he snatched her wrist.

"NOT AGAIN—!" she cried, flinging behind as Natsu tore out the door.

Once again, Gajeel found himself sitting in the corner, having silently watched the bickering exchange while irritatedly tapping his foot. Levy sipped on tea beside him, holding the small teacup in both her hands.

"Shrimp," he mumbled as she tilted the teacup back, swallowing the contents. "Make sure you drink some honey for your throat."

Levy choked on her drink.