So first of all, Matt stole his chocolate and sold it so he'd have the money for a pack of cigarettes. Little bastard.
And then Near, who was apparently this huge genius, was turned into the new L. Little shit face.
Then, he'd gone out, gotten lost, bumped into a loli-shota bastard and he had no idea how to relocate Japan.
Oh, and apparently there were people in the world who didn't know what chocolate was, and Mello had no idea how the hell that was possible.
THEN, Mello had to get attacked by some wrinkly old stranger.
So he shot the wrinkly old stranger in the face with the gun he'd brought along.
After that, he met a girl called Arinana or something. That wasn't too bad. The girl was pretty cool.
After that, he'd put Matt on watch and Matt died, which hurt a lot more than anyone would think.
But right then, Mello had no chocolate, (felt like shouting "fuck you, Matt" at the sky and hoping Matt heard him from up there), he was second place once again, he had no money, and he'd met a bunch of weirdos. To put it simply, he was officially sick of life.
"Fuck you, Matt," he yelled at the sky again. It made him feel relaxed.
Also, Matt used to swear at him a lot.
Oh, and did Mello mention the creepy girl with creepy eyes and a creepy smile who apparently liked fish fingers and custard? Who the hell liked that? And she'd decided to become the leader. Bloody fucking typical. He was second place once again.
"What are we even supposed to do at this house?" he demanded, stomping around.
"None of my friends are here."
"You have friends?" said Arinana/Ariana/whatever the hell her name was, timidly. "What are they like?"
"He's wonderful. EXCEPT HE STOLE MY FUCKING CHOCOLATE!" Mello stormed off to his bedroom. He emerged a few hours later. "I'm hungry," he announced. "I'm taking us to a restaurant. There we can whine about how life's a fucker and how life sucks and we can basically punch life in the face." "You're the only one who wants to do that," said Armin out of nowhere. "Sorry, Mello."
"What, then?" he said. "What are we going to do? Matt doesn't have a cell phone, he sold it. And there's nothing to do here. Life just sucks. And I'm hungry."
"Where are we eating anyway," muttered Eliza angrily. "And why are YOU leading us?"
"Because I'm the one who suggested eating out and bashing life in the face," said Mello. "Now shut up."
He made sure to avoid those eyes because last time he saw Eliza's eyes, he nearly fainted.
"Let's sit here," suggested Mello, pointing at a Chinese restaurant. The people followed him in, grumbling under their throats about how they wanted ""fast food"" ""fish finger custard"" and ""candy floss"".
"Well, you people aren't very healthy," muttered Mello in annoyance, sitting in a seat at the restaurant. "HEY YOU! THE GIRL OVER THERE!" yelled a waiter. "These seats are reserved."
Mello decided that he would probably get arrested if he shoved his fist into the waiter's face. "I'm a boy, dumbass," he said, getting up and walking off.
"Come on, guys, we're going to either a fast food place or a candy floss stand. Those waiters are shitty."
"Is the only reason you think they're bad is because they mistook you for a girl?" said Reya, with absolute sincerity. "Back in Neverland-"
"I don't want to hear it."
"Huh?" said nearly everyone.
"I'm sick of having to LISTEN while everyone talked," started Mello.
"Well, you never actually LISTENED, Mello-Jello," pointed out Eliza. "Just shut up!" said Mello. "Can you guys just...shush? I want to go back home," he said, collapsing in a seat in McDonald's.
"But Mello-"
"I'll have a happy meal," said Mello to the waitress walking by.
"Yes, ma'am!"
Well, fuck her too.
"I'm a guy," said Mello sweetly. Then he turned to the rest of them. "What do you people want?"
"Don't know. Don't care."
"I'll take anything."
"Whatever."
"I'll have a Happy Meal too. Don't forget the toy, okay?"
"Hamburger."
"Why would you tell them not to forget the toy?" said Mello incredulously. Then he thought for a moment. "It's true, what's a Happy Meal without a toy? That just makes it a sad meal."
"There you go, talking nonsense as usual," sighed Eliza.
"Don't forget who's boss, Jello."
Mello ignored her. She was too annoying to listen to.
"Honestly, though, how the hell are we going to get back?"
"I don't know," said Armin. "I just fell asleep and ended up...here."
"Me too," Mello said. "And thanks to Matt and his cigarette addiction, I couldn't get any chocolate to keep me company."
"Why do you like chocolate so much?" asked Reya suddenly. "I mean, not that I don't love it, and all, but...you seem pretty obsessed."
Mello shrugged.
"It's chocolate," he said simply.
"HEY YOU!" Mello glanced up. "THERE'S A GUN IN HER BAG!" yelled the security guard. "GET HER!" Mello groaned. Bloody brilliant.