Last Chapter:

"Letter for you my Lord." said Jiminy as he walked into the throne to find Galbatorix dressed in a purple Teletubbie suit and Durza in a green.

"Give it here then." Said Galbatorix.

The note read:

'We have the bear. Do exactly what I tell you to and he will not be harmed.

We have enclosed a picture as proof.

We'll be in touch soon.'

Galbatorix took out the picture and saw Mr Snuggles with a small blond wig and a pink frilly dress.

"NO! MR SNUGGLES!!!!"

Chapter 3;

Eragon Meets Simon Cowell:

"Somewhere over the rainbow
Way up high
There's a land that I heard of
Once in a lullaby

Somewhere over the rainbow
Skies are blue
And the dreams that you dare to dream
Really do come true"

Eragon sang into the karaoke machine.

"That was great!" Arya exclaimed!

"It was as good as the original!" Nasuada said wording her sentence carefully.

"Not hard as the original sucked." Murtagh said.

"WAHHH!!!" Eragon wailed.

"Everyone's out to get me! You'll see! I'll get on the X-Factor and I'll win!" Eragon yelled.

"Eragon, as long as the other contestants aren't chipmunks with tonsillitis, you haven't a hope in hell of winning." Murtagh said.

"Or if Lauren thinks she's Celine Dion again and gets up and sings "Titanic" again like when she was supposed to marry Ryan but he left her at the alter." Liese said.

"But I didn't though. I never sang Celine Dion." Lauren defended.

"But you did though."

"No I didn't"

"You did though"

"Am I bovvered?"

"No, but…"

"Look at my face, does my face looked bovvered? No my face doesn't look bovvered cause I aint bovvered!" Lauren said.

"Anyway!" Murtagh interrupted. " We have a bigger problem on hand."

Everyone looked at him confused.

"Uh, how did I get landed with the biggest bunch of retards in Alagaesia? Eragon's gonna sing! In front of people!" Murtagh exclaimed.

"I dunno, it's Simon Cowell, I don't know if he classes as people or devil dog from hell." Kendra said.

"True, but there will be people there." Murtagh said.

Speaking of Eragon, where is he?" Nasuada asked.

Everyone looked around, sure enough, he was no where to be seen.

"AHHHHHHHH!" Eragon screamed running through the wall and smacks into a bookshelf, knocking him out.

"Oh come on! He runs through a wall and a bookshelf knocks him out?!" Murtagh said.

Then Roran came in through the Eragon-shaped hole in the wall.

"What the hell did you do to your face?!" Katrina yelled.

"I borrowed some of your moisturiser." Roran said.

"That's tinted moisturiser you plank!" Katrina yelled.

Roran looked in the mirror.

Half of his face was dark and the rest was pale.

"NOOOO!!! MY FACE!" Roran screamed.

"Don't over do it now." Murtagh said.

"MY BEAUTIFUL FACE!" Roran yelled.

"You just over did it." Murtagh said as he smacked Roran in the face with a frying pan.

"Ouff."

"Guys, we lost Eragon again." Arya said.

"Ugh." everyone else said in unison.

--At The X Factor--

"Name?" the girl asked.

"Eragon Morzansson." Eragon answered

"Song?" she asked

"Fairytale of New York" he answered.

"Through that door and go to the right." the girl said.

"Thankees." He said as he went through the door.
"OTHER WAY!" the girl said.

"THANKEES!!" Eragon said going right.

--The Varden--

"He must have gone to the X Factor" Kendra said.

"Well no duh." Arya said.

"Hey, fuck of gingey!" Kendra yelled.

"It's not my fault you were pointing out the obvious!" Arya yelled back.

"Well at least I can tie my shoes without getting confused!" Kendra shouted.

"Ohh, you got served." Murtagh said.

"SHUT UP MURTAGH!!" they both screamed.

"Whoa, PMS much?" Murtagh said.

"AL-RIGHT!" Lauren joined in yelling.

Everyone looked at her.

"Stop disrespecting each other! It's out of order!" Lauren screamed.

"Lauren, Am I bovvered?" Kendra asked.

"What?" Lauren replied.

"Look at my face, Am I bovvered? Out of order, disrespecting each other, I aint bovvered!" Kendra said.

"No, you don't say that!" Lauren said.

"I don't care, cause I aint bovvered!" Kendra said.

"Well" Lauren said.

She reached out and tipped over a statue on the desk in front Kendra and she walked out.

"Anyway, we better get to the X Factor, before the world ends, I mean, Eragon sings." Nasuada said.

"Isn't that the same thing?" Murtagh asked as he left.

--At the X Factor--

"Look there he is!" Nasuada exclaimed as they got into the audition.

"Yeah, we can all see him, Nasuada." Arya said.

He was standing right in the middle of the stage.

"Well, I guess there's nothing we can do but let him humiliate himself." Murtagh said as he sat down. The rest of the group sat down as well.

"Name?" Simon Cowell asked.

"Eragon." Eragon replied.

"And what song are you "Singing""? Simon asked.
"Fairytale of New York." Eragon replied.

"Well, go on then. We haven't got all day." Simon said.

"It was christmas eve babe
In the drunk tank
An old man said to me, wont see another one
And then he sang a song
The rare old mountain dew
I turned my face away
And dreamed about you

Got on a lucky one
Came in eighteen to one
Ive got a feeling
This years for me and you
So happy christmas
I love you baby
I can see a better time
When all our dreams come true

Theyve got cars big as bars
Theyve got rivers of gold
But the wind goes right through you
Its no place for the old
When you first took my hand
On a cold christmas eve
You promised me
Broadway was waiting for me

You were handsome
You were pretty
Queen of new York city
When the band finished playing
They howled out for more
Sinatra was swinging,
All the drunks they were singing
We kissed on a corner
Then danced through the night

The boys of the nypd choir
Were singing Galway bay
And the bells were ringing out
For christmas day"

Eragon screeched.

" Even if the chipmunks are singing, he hasn't got a chance" Murtagh whispered to Kendra. She nodded in agreement.

Just then Lauren walked in with Liese.

Eragon continued to "sing"

"You scumbag, you maggot
You cheap lousy faggot"

"ARE YOU DISRESPECTING ME?!" Lauren yelled.

Eragon and Simon looked up.

"ARE YOU DISRESPECTING ME? ARE YOU DISRESPECTING MY FAMILY? ARE YOU DISRESPECTING MY MUM AND PIKEY?!" Lauren yelled.

"That's out of order, that" Liese said.

"I was just singing." Eragon said.

"No, you weren't singing, you were screeching. That was pathetic, in all my years of being a judge, I have never heard anything so terrible. I hope you didn't quit your day job." Simon cut in.

"But, But" Eragon began but was cut of again by Simon.

"Let me throw a mathematical dilemma at you - there's 500 left, well how come the odds of you winning are a million to one? You're pathetic! Go and do something you're good at. If you can find anything." Simon said and Eragon ran off the stage crying.

"Eragon, pathetic. Never a truer word spoken." Murtagh said.

"No body loves me!!" Eragon screamed as he jumped from the roof.

Unfortunately for him, it was only a 1-story building.

They all went outside and saw Eragon lying face first on the ground whimpering.

Murtagh was the first one to talk.

"I aint cleaning that up"

A/N: I know it sucked big time. But bear with me, I have serious writers block on my Eragon stories and I've kinda gone of the Eragon books since I found out that the 3rd book wasn't coming out till September and there'll be a 4th one.

And on my updating so slowly, at least I'm updating quicker than Christopher Paolini.

Review!

This will be the last update for a while.

Helena.